This is a safe space for people with OCD ❤️🩹
My name is Eight, my pronouns are she/they/he (order of preference), & I am the owner of this blog :D
I love you and I hope you're having a great day <3 Read my pinned post for more info :D
I am a genderfluid girl, (genderfluid but like mainly/usually a girl) a lesbian, and i use she/they/he pronouns. (Order of preference) I am autistic and have OCD, maladaptive daydreaming disorder, and potentially body dysmorphia.
This is a sideblog that I made in order to post about OCD and support other people with OCD. There may occasionally be posts about other disorders or neurodivergent types, but this is a primarily OCD-focused blog.
(Rest is under a read more)
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DNI/boundaries
Misogyny, anti radical feminism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism aren’t welcome here.
You’re allowed to interact even if you don’t have OCD—however please don’t derail posts.
Also I want to be VERY clear, I support self diagnosers. Full stop. I love you guys 🫶🏻
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Ask me things!!!
If you are spiraling, or need to vent, or just need any help, PLEASE feel free to comment or send me an ask or DM!! You are NOT annoying me. Anonymous asks are on if that makes you feel more comfortable.
I do struggle with executive dysfunction and have triggers of my own, so if I don’t respond or don’t respond immediately, please don’t take it personally. I will do my best to respond to everything, but I am only human after all.
Anyways. I love you, I care about you, and I want to help you. Even if I don’t respond, (I will most likely respond) I need you to know that you are not annoying me. It’s okay—you can send multiple asks/comments/DMs, you can spam, you can say things anonymously, you can be uncensored. I care about what you have to say.
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Content warnings
I might post graphic or disturbing images or writing. These will be tagged, and there should be a trigger warning at the beginning of the post.
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Important tags (feel free to block any that you think might trigger you)
#asks (asks from people)
#reblogs (reblogging other people’s posts)
#my reblogs (reblogging my own posts or posts from my other blogs)
#tw reblog bait (I really don’t see any reason why I would be posting reblog bait. However just in case, this is what I would tag it with)
#tw aggressive tone (posts with an aggressive tone. Ik these can be kinda triggering sometimes 😭)
#my vent (my vents. They’ll probably be tagged with #personal as well)
#others vent (vents from other people.. I don't always use this tag tho)
#not ocd (posts that aren’t about OCD)
#tw disturbing (graphic/disturbing imagery or writing)
#tw ocd (I just put this on stuff that I feel like might be a little extra triggering to read. If something isn't tagged like this and you feel like it should be, feel free to let me know ^^)
#tw political (this is not a political blog, but if I ever make posts that touch on political things, I will use this tag. And I will also be careful to make the post as OCD friendly as I can, which means no reblog bait or guilt tripping)
This probably isn’t an all-encompassing collection of every single tag I’ll ever use, just the important ones. I’ll come back and update this if I need to.
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That should be about it. Anyways, I hope you are having a really great day :D byeee
If you don’t have OCD, take this as an opportunity to educate yourself and support your friends with OCD!!
If you do have OCD, I think you get a dragon or something. Remember to take care of yourself this month!! And other months as well please 😭
(TW: OCD stats below, including stats about depression, suicide, and psychosis. Please don’t read, or be careful reading, if you have health OCD. The parts about stats will be in pink so that you know what to avoid or read carefully.)
So for OCD awareness, this is your reminder that OCD is included in the TOP TEN most disabling disorders by the World Health Organization. It affects 1%—3% of the global population.
The International OCD Foundation says that between 25% and 50% of people with OCD will experience depression in their lives.
Stats from the National Institutes of Health say that 36% of OCD patients reported lifetime suicidal thoughts, and 11% have a history of attempted suicide.
(Also I don’t have a source for this one so take it with a grain of salt, but apparently 2%—10% of people with OCD will also experience psychosis.)
OCD is an extremely serious disorder that tends to be very misunderstood by the average person. It causes extreme stress/anxiety, guilt, and fear, and can be extremely hard to live with.
So this month, please remember to look out for yourself and your friends with OCD!! Feel free to reblog this to spread awareness, but it is NOT obligatory. (We don’t do reblog bait here ^^) If you decide to reblog, feel free to add an OCD-related story in the tags if you want!!
Anyways, hope you’re all having a good day!!! Thank you for reading ❤️
(I have not forgotten about the asks in my inbox btw. I’ve just been really tired lately and I’m going to get to them soon ^^)
(This post is going to talk about political things. It also has some stats about OCD and depression/suicide. If you’re not in a headspace for that, it’s okay to scroll)
“People should generally be aware of current events and showing support to minorities/helping out where they can” and “people with OCD sometimes do need to step back for their own safety” are two statements that can and should coexist.
I have OCD. I am able to stay updated for the most part, and since I’m young what I can do is limited but I do try to do stuff. However, I have a bit of an easier time doing this because I spent a long time learning to separate my emotions from everything else.
If I let my OCD control things, I would be drowning in guilt all the time. That’s why I think it’s so important as a person with OCD to recognize that guilt is a neutral emotion. It doesn’t make you a better person and it doesn’t make you a better ally. All it does is whittle away at your wellbeing.
There is such a big difference between being aware of privilege you hold and unlearning internalized biases, and just feeling guilty about it. Because again, your guilt does nothing to help anyone. You don’t need to feel constantly guilty in order to be a good ally.
Anyways. IMO every activist should be aware of their physical, financial, and mental limits, and be careful not to cross those. (Hurting or burning yourself out does nothing for anyone except screw yourself over!!) And people with OCD often get to their limits sooner than people without.
If you don’t have OCD, I need you to understand that it is debilitating. Between 25% and 50% (or even up to 70%) of people with OCD will experience a major depressive episode in their life. 10%—25% of people with OCD will attempt suicide.
Yes, it’s good to stay as informed as you can. Yes, you should be unlearning your biases and being a good ally. However just like any other disabled/neurodivergent person, sometimes people with OCD will reach their limits sooner. So let’s be kind about that.
seeing a bunch of people talking shit about me kind of stings but like i was being an asshole... i don't know if you got the other ask i sent but i seriously apologize for what i said to you and projecting so hard and for whatever ocd rationalizing is? doesn't matter, i shouldn't have taken my spiral out on you or anyone else
Wait are you the person who sent the asks after I posted that thing about people with OCD shouldn’t feel guilty or whatever it was??? OMG I am so sorry, I didn’t realize this was affecting you 😭
I did get your other ask, I must have forgotten to reply.. anyways please don’t worry, I do appreciate your apology but I already forgave you for what you said, and I completely understand where you were coming from when you said it. I genuinely didn’t realize that I and the others who replied were making you feel bad. I’m really sorry and that wasn’t my intention ❤️
If anyone else says anything about you I’ll let them know that it’s already been moved on from. Again, I’m sorry, and I hope you’re having a good night ^^
-also, from the compulsion asker, gotta say it's great to see someone else with executive dysfunction :sob:
bit of a mini vent, maybe? no idea.
uhh, i sometimes feel scared that i don't fit criteria because of how messy my room is, and because of ocd's watering down as a cleanliness/perfection disorder. for me, (if it's the case that i have it) i leave stuff to finish later, but then forget about it unintentionally, and suddenly- it's all a mess. then i can't touch any of it because it's just. not something i can touch.
i don't know if it's a contamination thing that i don't realize is contamination, so i've just been explaining my inability to wash dishes or look at dirty pots/pans as sensory issues, which while true, doesn't explain my inability to put my dirty clothes into a washing machine, because they're not dirty in a food-buildup way.
uuuugh and then the moral spiralling about dumb stuff having to do with gender or how i appear online is the worst. whats that? a sense of dread appearing when i see one notification in my activities thing on tumblr? its a like on a post. why am i dreading stuff. worst part is i don't know what i'm dreading. i'm just dreading.
Hello again!!!
So, your room being messy definitely does not mean you don't have OCD!! Contamination OCD is definitely a very real thing, but it's not the only type of OCD, and you can have it without being neat or organized. to Also about your room, omg I relate sm 😭 that sounds very executive dysfunction.
It could be contamination and sensory issues at the same time. Personally I have a lot of sensory issues that kind of become compulsions, maybe you have a similar thing??
I'm definitely not a professional, so like don't take me too seriously, but to me at least you definitely sound like you're showing a lot of OCD symptoms.
This is the OCD loop btw: | intrusive thought/fear ➝ bad feeling of anxiety, wrongness, and/or dread ➝ urge to perform some sort of compulsion, be it physical or mental, to relieve the stress ➝ stress is temporarily relieved ➝ intrusive thought comes back and cycle repeats | That's the basic cycle, and literally any anxiety, compulsion, and severity can be filled into the blanks.
I don't know your situation, but if you can, maybe look into therapy?? I can't really offer much advice on that since I've never been, but I hear from a lot of others that they make massive improvements!! And if you can't get therapy, there are still things you can do and resources you can access in order to help yourself out.
I hope this was helpful!! If you need any other info or advice, feel free to send another ask, and I hope that you're having a great day!!! Bye ❤
hey um i'm trying to figure out if i have ocd because it's starting to become apparent that something's up with me.
i have intrusive thoughts, i spiral, i have obsessions, but i don't think i have compulsions. maybe i do, but they're not visible? or i just didn't know they were compulsions?
what kind of compulsions exist that people just don't know are compulsions because when we think of them, we think repeatedly checking stuff, rereading something a ton of times, washing hands, counting, praying, etc. ?
Hi!!! it sounds like you could definitely have OCD, although I am not a professional, so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt ^^
There are all sorts of compulsions that aren't just the stereotypical ones--in fact there's even a specific subtype of OCD called Pure O (Pure Obsessional) OCD, where you get intrusive thoughts without visible or physical compulsions.
So like, the compulsions with that are generally mental, which definitely count as compulsions still!! Things like going over an event or thought repeatedly for various reasons, like to reassure yourself that you didn't do something or that you don't want to do something, or to try and justify something that happened so you can stop all the unreasonable guilt. Mental compulsions can also be repeating a phrase or visualization in your mind. (There are other kinds of mental compulsions as well, these are just a few examples)
You might have mental compulsions, or you might even have physical compulsions that you're not registering as compulsions. Sometimes it can be hard to realize when something's a compulsion.
I would recommend doing research if you haven't already--not just like professional articles or diagnostic criteria, although those are helpful too, but also look at people's personal experiences and see if you relate to any!! If you search OCD on Tumblr or TikTok, you'll get a lot of vents and people talking about their experiences, and then there's also subreddits. (Do be careful because some of it can be triggering, but it can also be really validating to find out that other people are dealing with the same things)
Btw I saw your other ask and I'm going to answer it next!! I hope that this helped you and also that you're having a nice day :))
prev anon i fear that is some of the wildest projection i've read on this site in a fucking WHIIIIILE. good lord. i hope you're doing okay
It was definitely something 😭 they're probably going through something tho. It'd be better if they didn't project that onto others, but like at the same time I get it. I hope things improve for them too
i guess our ocd just in different ways then because i would be an absolute monster if i didn't have guilt 24/7, id be an absolute horrible coward if i didn't have that guilt constantly making me act in ways that don't hurt other people.
good for you being able to help people, you're doing good work but like. sometimes you have to get over your laziness and cowardice and actually take the guilt head on, it'll make you less of a bad person. the only way to have morals in this day is to hate yourself
Hey so uh. This feels a lot like you're offended by my original post because you're projecting your own self hatred onto it.
Literally all I said was that "hey, people with OCD shouldn't have to hate themselves" in an exaggerated way.
As for your second paragraph, I can't tell if you're calling me lazy and a coward or if you're referring to yourself.
Either way. Honestly I doubt you'd be a monster without 24/7 guilt, but I'm not you and I don't know you, so that's ultimately up to you to decide. But no, you don't have to hate yourself to have morals. Again, if you want to hate yourself, obviously that's your decision, but please don't push that on others because that is so unhealthy.
Tbh it sounds like you're having a really rough time, and so genuinely I hope things get better for you. Have a nice day ^^
regarding ur last post, i think people with ocd shouldn't just get a free pass to not have a conscience just because they have a disorder.
i have it but like, i don't get to feel however i want because i feel more than other people, that's how people turn into bad people. guilt is a part of holding someone accountable, disorder or not and getting a free pass from feeling bad about your privilege is kinda bigoted!!!!
no shade, just my personal opinion that having your morals intact is worth more than loving yourself tbh
No offense but I feel like you really misunderstood what I was trying to say there 😭
I'm not saying that people with OCD get a free pass to be terrible people. I'm saying that if they can fix their mistakes WITHOUT feeling like scum the whole time, why not do that???
My guilt doesn't make me a better person!!! It makes me a worse person actually!!! My guilt makes me avoid things and get defensive about everything!! I am a better person when I'm not drowning in guilt!!!
I'm going to be a little uncensored here, sorry, I'm not trying to attack you but I really want to get across the point I was trying to make.
Guilt makes me less sympathetic. I have had terrible OCD since I was a little kid, and guilt just makes me want to hide away and die. It's when I'm able to stamp down my guilt that I'm able to focus my energy less on survival and more on things like learning how to be a better ally, finding things I can do to help, et cetera.
Also. Idk, might just be my autistic thinking, but feeling guilty about your privilege feels kind of useless. Why sit around feeling guilty about it when you can use it to more easily do good in the world??? For instance, I have the privilege of internet access :D that means I can do online activism and also support people who are struggling through this blog!!!
Anyways. In conclusion. I don't need constant guilt to keep my morals intact :)) I'd say that constant guilt degrades my morals actually. So uh. People with OCD should absolutely have morals and right their wrongs, but I feel like they shouldn't have to hate themselves while they're doing it :D
This may be a hot take but. To be completely honest, I don’t think that people with OCD should have to feel guilty ever.
Like, we all know already that emotions and thoughts don’t influence morality. So if a person with OCD does do something wrong, they can still acknowledge it was wrong and make amends, but I don’t think they should have to feel guilty.
I don’t think people without OCD understand just how much the disorder dials everything up. A guilty feeling that for a person without OCD would rank like a 2 or 3 and then they move on, would probably rank closer to a 7+ for a person with OCD, plus they get stuck on it forever 😭
So uh. People with OCD, I just don’t think you’re obligated to feel guilty about things ^^ I would assume that most of the things you’re beating yourself up about are probably made up by your OCD, and then if you are actually in the wrong about other things, I really do think you can resolve it without making yourself suffer in a way that people without OCD never have to deal with :D
Idk. Let me know what you think if you’d like ^^ (preferably only if you have or think you have OCD. No offense but I’m less interested in what those without OCD have to say about it)
If someone (especially someone who doesn’t have OCD) takes this in bad faith or whatever the expression is, I’m gonna be so frustrated lol
god killing me anon back here, i was raised atheist? never in my life have i believed god exists?? but i was also raised in the bible belt so that probably explains it LMAOO
i'm okay i promise. like i know god does not want to kill me. just wanted to give you a little laugh of how absurd it all is. hope you're doing well <3
Ohhh I see 😭
Well I’m glad you’re okay!! I wasn’t sure if you wanted a serious response or not 😅 it was kinda funny, thanks for sharing :)) hope you’re doing well too <3
okay my goofiest ocd theme is that i’ve spent like the last three years believing god was going to kill me.
i’m an atheist.
Oh no 😭
I get that tbh, one of my obsessions lately has been the idea of hell.. I am not even Christian.
If it helps, I really don't think god would want to kill you.
I assume that you grew up Christian probably?? (Or Jewish, Muslim.. I'm going to assume Christian so if I'm wrong sorry, but this probably still applies if it's a different religion) Because the thing about growing up in religion, especially that religion, I say as an ex Christian myself, is that it really sinks its claws in you. So even when you decide it's not for you, you still sort of believe it and feel like it's gonna come and get you even though it's not.
And even if you didn't grow up religious, the world is still just very oversaturated with religious things. So even then it still makes sense that it could've gotten into your head.
Anyways :(( I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I know you might not believe that you're safe but I promise you that you are. I hope you're having a nice day and that things get better for you soon <3
i probably sent you another ask but i honestly forgot its like i get teleported to another dimension when im spiraling. thank you for the kind words again and take your time please ❤️ you yourself are a good person and are doing so much good and deserve good things
Hi, I assume you're the person from the ask I just answered?? (If not sorry for mistaking you lol)
It's absolutely no problem!!! I'm really glad if what I said was able to help you in some way ❤️ I completely get how reality feels all warped and stuff during a spiral 😭
And awh thank you!!! I really appreciate it <333 hope you're having a good day, and you deserve good things as well :))
Advice for y'all with OCD!!! (Don't feel obligated to take it if you don't think it'll work or if you just don't want to ^^)
Make art!! Any sort of art. Drawings, writing, songs, video games, et cetera et cetera.
I'm an artist with OCD myself, and it is so cathartic 😭 I feel like I can write really authentic characters with OCD, because I draw on my experiences with the disorder, and like it's just so cathartic to make a character go through the same shit you have to go through. I've also written several vent songs about OCD and that was also a really good way to express things I think. You don't even have to share what you make, it can just be for you.
Also, it doesn't have to be polished or anything, or even art in the sense of what's traditionally considered art. Sometimes it feels like shedding a heavy weight to just pour out all your feelings in a diary entry.
Anyways!! Hope this was helpful in some way!!! I also hope y'all are having a good day <3
(Btw if you left an ask and I haven't answered it yet, don't worry!! I will get to it!!! Just been a lot going on lately and I'm super tired 😭 but I will be answering them all soon so dw ^^)
whats the worst is the world would be actually better if i died, and that's not even ocd or catastrophizing.
im technically not rich, but i haven't really had financial problems in my life. however, my existence directly contributes to suffering. im writing this on a phone powered by slavery in the congo manufactured by the ai slop company that funds israel. everytime i eat or sleep or do anything i am killing people, and the only way to stop killing people is to kill yourself therefore removing yourself from that system entirely
the ultimate act of selfishness i commit (everything i do is selfish but i digress) is staying alive. i like my life, and that makes me a horrible person. i am a queer black woman but i don't suffer from any oppression that actually matters, unlike other people. i would help so many people by ending my life and yet i don't. so i think hating myself is the least i can do to make it more fair that i exist.
im that same person who runs the food bank, (i send you so many asks im sorry) and i think it's selfish of me to even dare to think im doing enough. i try to work locally but I'll never save the world, rather i only take and take and take and refuse to actually do the one good thing and end my own life. im sorry for that and im sorry for ever complaining about being sad sometimes because it's good that I'm miserable, it makes the world more equal
I don't think the world would be better if you died. I think a lot of people would miss you. Even if you don't think that's true, I think that just you existing automatically makes you matter.
I'm not sure of exact percentages, but literally so many people are "contributing to suffering" in the same ways you say you are, and that doesn't mean they deserve to die. So why would you deserve to die either?? Honestly, I really don't think that you can be held responsible for all of that. It's terrible that all these things are happening, but it's also not your fault.
It's not selfish of you to be alive. It's not selfish of you to like your life. Also if you're suffering from any oppression, that does matter. Sure, not every single form of oppression is on the exact same level, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't matter.
And there is not a single person that you would help by ending your life. Genuinely. I know that it feels that way, but if you want to help people then there are so many other things you can do. And from your previous asks, it sounds like you're already doing a lot.
To reiterate one more time--suicide is not going to help anyone. You deserve to be alive.
I remember your previous asks, I'm pretty sure there's at least one or maybe two I haven't answered yet 😭 I'm sorry about that. (And it's perfectly fine, you don't have to apologize for sending me asks ^^)
I completely understand that a stranger on the internet telling you this probably won't make you believe it, but you really don't deserve pain or death. You're doing the best you can <3 you sound like a very kind and empathetic person.
No, you probably won't save the world, but that's okay. No one singular person can save the world. But just because you can't fix everything and save everyone doesn't mean that you can't make a difference. And whatever difference you make matters, just like how you matter, just by virtue of existing.
Okay, I'm gonna be honest, I feel like my response is kind of awkwardly written 😭 I'm not on full brainpower rn, but I hope I was able to get my point across and that it maybe helped you a bit. Reminder that you have the Guilt Disorder™, and so like. OCD is gonna tell you that you deserve the worst, but you really really don't.
Anyways. Anon, I love you, I care about you, and I wish you nothing but the best <3 please remember that the state of the world isn't your fault and that you deserve to be alive <333