Zachary “Zach” Mills: you have the right to remain an attorney
i have no idea how to explain zach except for: cinnamon roll goof ball snowflake??????
at his core zach’s a real people person. he just loves to make ppl laugh and have a good time. going great lengths to make someone smile just b/c
he’s easily pleased/entertained. zach’s rarely ever in a bad mood
“at first i didn’t know it was your diary. i thought it was a very sad handwritten book” ~probs emily when she finds zach’s diary post-schroeder
doesn’t drink or do drugs and isn’t rly about that party lyfe stylez
the only thing he drinks at bars are those fruity mixed drinks with cocktail umbrellas that are literally 5% alcohol lmao. “look at me being so naughty!” ~zach @stu when they go to the local pub after work (and now i’m imagining stu ordering a fruity drink for zach and lol’ing)
if you get him drunk enough he’ll dramatically recite taylor swift lyrics like shakespearean sonnets while standing on tables and it’s literally the greatest thing ever
the king of pep talks. gives himself one in the mirror every morning
has kissed probs 2 girls in his whole entire life lol. 1 being his ex-wife kristen and the other [??????]
abs and i still need to talk about zacsten but the moment he laid eyes on her he was in lo0o0o0ove ok this is a thing that happened and he thinks he’s the luckiest dude in the world b/c a girl like her was interested in a dork like him??? srsly it was like fanfic come2lyfe
like?? she even tolerated his obsession with second breakfast??? better yet she joined him #RelationshipGoals
anyways [stuff happens] and now he's divorced from the person he thought was the girl of his dreams RIP
honestly you can come to zach for anything and he’ll help you come up with s/t to fix it w/o asking for anything in return or any judgment!!!!!
he’s apparently good at fixing other ppls problems but is absolute ass at fixing his own ???
has no backbone when it comes to himself but when he’s working he’s Serious Business Zachary
zach becoming a police officer was honestly the last thing anyone probs expected of him lol but he’s actually a rly good police officer?? and he’s totally a diff person when he has his uniform on
kind of has an extreme personality in that when he loves he loves hard and when he hates he hates hard??? atm he’s rly torn up about kristen and pree much incapable of getting over her but pretends he already has because the reality that he isn’t is too much for him lmao
i said he was nice!!! never said he was rational!!!! lol
90% of the time zach’s making jokes to cover up how he’s rly feeling (hURT? HIM? nAW)
10% of the time is him trying to make awkward situations less tense lol
is always down to cuddle. always.
loves talking. can and will strike up convos w/ just about anyone. he’s down to talk about his day, your day, the weather, politics at thanksgiving talk talk talk he loves it
has the ability to find s/t in common with literally anyone and engage in convo w/ them at any time
prone to moving his hands around a lot while talking
the type to never listen to a song the whole way through
zach likes to think he’s pretty funny and fun to have around
really loyal and just a good friend to have around
can't keep a plant alive to save his life
