jinx

they them #1 bnha hyperfixater csm liker , aftg lover

[ochasuyu]

jinx , 17 . . . they them twitter |  ✩

#jinx stuff fr | my ramblings & art / fics i like

#jinx writes | snippets of my writing, stuff i’m proud of

[doesephs]

“um mister fbi my tummy hurts” said neil josten or whatever not read it in four years

[ochasuyu]

i am struggling so fucking much with moving to college right now. like i've been pretty sure that i'm autistic for months and months but this is really cementing it for me because there's no way neurotypical people find moving this hard. or they literally would never do it. i want to crawl up into a ball and die

my dad was saying that like .... i'm basically grieving a "home" that doesn't exist anymore. i keep thinking "i want to go home" and there's this horrifying pit in my chest of just that. but the home that i think of is the beginning of summer, when my room looked just like i wanted it to and bailey was alive and everything was wonderful. i feel like i finally finally found myself & the person i want to be, and i finally got a grasp on how to make my room a safe space for me to unmask, and i was doing art and writing and engaging in the things that made me happy and i was happy.

and that room just doesn't exist anymore

half of it is there and the other half is in my dorm, where i cannot unmask because it isn't my space, and bailey is dead, and i'm not allowed to stay in that comfortable "not a highschooler not yet a college student" limbo anymore

the only way i can cope with this feeling is by . running away. pretending to be someone i'm not who feels like my dorm could ever possibly be home and i don't feel like me

i feel like i died when i moved out and whatever is in my body right now typing this is something else entirely. and i want to go back home to before i died and before bailey died and when everything was wonderful

i am struggling

[falafels]

Kevriko

11 year old kevin still quietly grieving his mom: riko didnt your mom die too

riko, taking out a single headphone: what? kevin shut the fuck up we have stick ball to be worrying about

[falafels]

pt.98:GORDOON!! <pt.97

got an excess of seth in the chamber and frankly i think he deserves his own little disasterpost. freak

tags for the homies ❤️ @andrewsleftarmband @blurryhour @you-know-i-get-itt @notexactlythatgirl @longspacerat @tessasilverswan @minyard-05 @carbon-dated-gal @bisexualchaosdemon @stormiiflies @watercoloureyes01 @vampire-overlord @iron-sides @azure-wing @buffalo-fox @ohgodnotagainplease @pink-hydrangea @jaywalkerss @ohmynoggin-blog @cosmic-marauder @min-getoutofmy-yard @plazybones @disastersappho @leestars13 @the-witch-forever-lives @minyardsss @post-historical-posts @andabuttonnose @hidinginmyhands @aftg4l @allfor-thegames @yaoishida @inafieldofstarflowers @snowcoming @mooniism @fieldsofpoppies-in-salt-air @prometheusthedragon @graveyardviolence @bustedleftshoe @beatrix33 @aftg-bs @yes-i-exist-shutup @milktemproom @all-for-exy @moon-over-ruined-castle @meta-breakers @whatwereyouthinkingaboutagain @dragonslayer26806 @malepresentingleg @lesbiansforkevinday

[mwa-moved-deactivated20251126]

“i asked chatgpt” “i asked grok” well i asked Alhaitham. He threw a book at me. My head hurts

[ochasuyu]

trying to explain how hyperfixations actually make me feel to people who experience them with less intensity / who misinterpret what they are makes me feel fucking CRAZY

because like. trying to engage with these characters (via fic, roleplay, art, music, ANYTHING) makes me nauseous from both excitement and dopamine and also the All-Consuming Dread That I Am Mischaracterizing them. i feel physically ill!!!!

when the final chapter of BNHA came out i HAD to jump up and down because if i didn't move i would've thrown up on my carpet. i was at it for 20 minutes and rolled my ankle twice.

i have spent probably hundreds of hours of my life unable to be fully present in a moment where i want to be (hanging out with my loved ones, etc etc) because i cannot stop thinking about a hyperfixation. what i remember most vividly about my papa's funeral was drawing alhaitham in the hotel afterwards. what i remember most vividly about the blur that was freshman year is the mha fixation returning. that doesn't make any sense and it makes me feel like a horrible person but that's how my stupid memories formed because everything revolves around my fixations

i feel fucking insane when people talk about hyperfixations like they're fun little quirky things. they can be so fun but the effect they physically and mentally have is so insanely intense and i feel so goddamn alone in that experience sometimes

[ochasuyu]

maybe i should talk to my mom about going on adhd meds lmfao...

[ochasuyu]

trying to explain how hyperfixations actually make me feel to people who experience them with less intensity / who misinterpret what they are makes me feel fucking CRAZY

because like. trying to engage with these characters (via fic, roleplay, art, music, ANYTHING) makes me nauseous from both excitement and dopamine and also the All-Consuming Dread That I Am Mischaracterizing them. i feel physically ill!!!!

when the final chapter of BNHA came out i HAD to jump up and down because if i didn't move i would've thrown up on my carpet. i was at it for 20 minutes and rolled my ankle twice.

i have spent probably hundreds of hours of my life unable to be fully present in a moment where i want to be (hanging out with my loved ones, etc etc) because i cannot stop thinking about a hyperfixation. what i remember most vividly about my papa's funeral was drawing alhaitham in the hotel afterwards. what i remember most vividly about the blur that was freshman year is the mha fixation returning. that doesn't make any sense and it makes me feel like a horrible person but that's how my stupid memories formed because everything revolves around my fixations

i feel fucking insane when people talk about hyperfixations like they're fun little quirky things. they can be so fun but the effect they physically and mentally have is so insanely intense and i feel so goddamn alone in that experience sometimes

[suncarrds]

☀ CARRD TEMPLATE : 033. guardian. ( free! )

☀ [ PREVIEW ] [ GET ] NON - PRO FRIENDLY

☀ REFERRAL CODE : SUNNY | ☀ KO-FI

a single muse carrd that features:

— inspiration from final fantasy x! a single muse carrd that features an initial starting page with images, navi, quote, title & subtitle. then a rules page, as well as an about with basic chara info, appearance info, biography, quote, statistics, and verses.

PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE THE CREDIT / DO NOT CLAIM AS YOUR OWN, you are free to alter the colors and adjust it as much as needed but the credit must remain at all times.

[ochasuyu]

was stalking the laila tag and found your laila andrew bffisms post (<3 love) and was wondering could you elaborate on laila being a csa victim? i don’t remember it ever being brought up i think i missed it when i was reading 😓😓😓

omg i never use tumblr i have no idea how long its been since this was sent. so sorry anon

BUT!!! it’s not explicitly said anywhere, it just seems fairly implied to me? there’s mentions of the smell of cigarette smoke being a trigger to laila, and it says that she has to step out of the room during andrew’s trial

honestly i got this whole HC thing from a twitter thread so have my screenshots

[polartss]

One of many third book makeouts 🫡

[ochasuyu]

cw abuse ment never doubt my insanity 'cause why am i writing whole fake reddit arguments for a socmed piece about one of my ocs

takane yusui has taken me to places i wouldn't even go with a gun

[ochasuyu]

i actually feel like i'm losing my mind a little bit

everything is either pissing me off or making me anxious. everything. my boyfriend, my best friends, school, my parents, college, literally fucking everything

i'm constantly either irritable or back in a state of "everyone hates me and all of my relationships are going to fall apart as soon as we all leave for college and i have nothing to offer anymore" and i'm ping-ponging between the two ridiculously quickly

but hahah hey at least i get to work on stuff for artfight right. right. haha (having a breakdown)

[puddinzducky]

mori kei favicons ♪

[belovedsamber]

jeremy: “i’ve picked up more people at bars by having a lighter handy than I have by being charming”

andrew in his mind: interesting…

renee later: so what do you think of the trojan’s captain?

andrew: he’s gay

renee who gets 25 texts about jeremy from jean in a day: interesting…

[lorasx]

andrew saw jean throwing bryson to a car and almost breaking his neck for jeremy and said yeah that kid wants to kiss captain sunshine so bad. breaking someone’s neck for the boy you want is like the most romantic thing for him

[i-cant-swim-actually]

bro what if we fit together like puzzle pieces bro what if we just lay down and like test it out bro you never know