Dilettante

A tiny bit part of me. That you might never seen before. That you might not know exists in me until you read this.

[oddcinnamonroll]

Two weeks ago, I lost one of the people that I love the most in this world. A figure whom I regarded like my second father. I had a really close relationship with him. He caught the virus and due to his already poor health condition, he didn’t make it. I was so heartbroken when I got the news and I cried myself every time I remembered him all days the following week. What makes me feel more devastated is the fact that I haven’t seen him directly for more than a year and the last time I heard his voice was a month before he passed away. It was probably the first time in my life I felt so down and it lasts quite a while.

This unfortunate event reminded me that death is really close to us. So, dear friends, in such difficult and uncertain times, please stay in touch with the people whom existence you value the most in this world. You don’t know when will be the last time you can see them or hear their voice. If you’re able to meet them regularly, do not take it for granted. If you live apart from them, try to reach them as often as you can. Make sure they’re doing just fine. Tell them you love them. Cherish the moment with those closest to you. And last but not least, please be kind. Always.

[igmakeup]

[bookmania]

This is absolutely stunning!

[oddcinnamonroll]

Yoon Seri: "If I await desperately with prayers, will I be able to meet someone I miss?"

Ri Jeong-Hyeok: "You do it to live. If you give up on waiting, the pain of loss will kill you. That's why you wait"

[oddcinnamonroll]

"I wonder which one is love. Hoping that you're worrying about me like I am for you and wishing that you're pining for me like I do for you. Is this love? Or on the other hand, is it wishing that you won't be worried about me, that you'll forget about me and all the moments we've shared? Is that love? If it's neither, is it love that I'm willing to go through everything from the very beginning just so I can meet you once again?"

Yoon Se-Ri (Crash Landing on You, 2019)

[oddcinnamonroll]

And just like that, he decided to stop caring for her. He decided to stop loving her. It was not easy, but he supposed that fighting for love all alone was more difficult.

It Takes Two to Tango

[oddcinnamonroll]

Perhaps, I really have no chance, after all.

[oddcinnamonroll]

"Isn't it obvious that I like you?"

[oddcinnamonroll]

"I love you and I'm not letting you go. Not yet. I want to fight for you, for this."

[oddcinnamonroll]

I'm sorry for constantly texting you and bothering you with my endless words. I do it because I think it's the only way for me to try to get close to you. It's selfish and therefore I'm sorry. Again. Just so you know, it's okay if you don't really like it. Do not force yourself to respond all my texts. And if you want me to stop all at once, if you want me to stop texting you, id you want me to stop to get closer to you .... please tell me. Do not hesitate to tell me. Don't worry. I'll understand, whatever your reason is.

[somewhatsomelikepoetry]

Let’s grow old together

[oddcinnamonroll]

I miss those days when you shared your stories with me. When you openly told me your days and your problems.

[oddcinnamonroll]

Maybe she's over you. Well maybe she has never liked you and never been into you from the beginning. Just, stop expecting, okay? Stop hoping for uncertain things like that. You are not that special.

–A tiny bit of insecurity part inside me

[oddcinnamonroll]

What If...

Hello guys, how are you all doing? How is quarantine going? I hope you guys all stay safe during this trying times.

Anyway, being quarantined makes me think about what could happen if I’m not here, or to be more precise, if I were with you. So here you go:

What if we were together during this difficult time? Quarantined in our own house? Just the two of us? I believe we would cheer each other up. We would watch a lot of dramas, mainly Korean dramas since you and I love them, and we would talk about those dramas. We would laugh together while lying on the couch with all sorts of food sprawled on the table in front of us. We might also try to cook foods which recipe we found on YouTube and Twitter. I’m horrible at cooking so you would be the main chef. I hope I wouldn’t be that useless. I would clean the dishes and we would clean the house together. I would help you finish your report. I do not know how I could help, but I guess I could do it by proofreading your writing and throwing questions here and there. Of course I would give you emotional support as well. My work? It wouldn’t be that difficult, perhaps a zoom meeting once in a while and monitoring certain things. I could do it while you’re writing your assignment. And I would ask you to cut my hair. I don’t really like it to be long and maybe you would grow tired of seeing it long as well, so we decided to buy the machine ourselves and I would forced you to do it. We would both laugh on your attempt. I wouldn’t really care about the result. We would do exercise together. I would force you make it as a routine, although I’m lazy as well, but I know exercising is important to keep us fit. Then we would go to sunbathe on our backyard. We would talk. A lot. About all kinds of things. Talking with are always fun. And we would call our families at least once a week, making sure that they’re doing just fine. By night, we would be cuddling ourselves to sleep. Not that we didn’t do it before quarantine and during binge-watching, though. I love cuddling your frame. It snuggles perfectly in me. We would sleep in peace, hoping that the better day would come soon.

[oddcinnamonroll]

“It’s unfair ‘cause I’m missing you way too much”

–Tori Kelly

[vomitingwords]

I would've love to meet you elsewhere. In a place where we wouldn't be both scared of accepting how we feel. That then, we will understand how love isn't about beautiful beginnings and happy endings. That sometimes, it happens in betweens.

we were somewhere else // ma.c.a

[your-lovers-and-drifters]

Les cousins, 1959 (dir. Claude Chabrol) 

[mbeeer]

Singkatnya, aku berdoa semoga kau punya rasa yang sama.

(via mbeeer)