TWO ASEXUALS SITTING IN A TREE
S-I-T-T-I-N-G
Cosmic Funnies
RMH
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space šø

Origami Around

shark vs the universe
Mike Driver

Love Begins
Keni
šŖ¼
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almost home
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if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

No title available
occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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@odgw
TWO ASEXUALS SITTING IN A TREE
S-I-T-T-I-N-G
@moethh don't hide this in the tags
the most valueable skill a white leftist can ever learn is how to take an L with grace.
You gotta be able to take an L if your moral and ethical belief systems are to be capable of guiding you. Otherwise you just have an idealized self where you get really mad and scared when anyone points out it isn't actually you. How the fuck are you gonna walk the walk if you can't handle being told when you are not, in fact, actually walking it
you cannot just socially transition into being a good person you are going to have to settle for being a messy human being who has to try and fail and keep trying to get better like everyone else. yeah even when it's embarassing and sucks for you a lot.
so hereās a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw āfirst wives club 2ā on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!
hereās the synopsis for first wives club 2:
disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbandsā new lovers under their wing.
sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.
so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it iām starting to feel suspicious?? like itās really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come theyāre alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEYā
hereās what i did not know about first wives club 2:
it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.
so of course i, horrified that iāve accidentally bought porn on my familyās account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and thatās that.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE:
you have to pay for pay per view.
so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and iām sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and weāre just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, āokay, thereās something we need to discuss. as a family.ā
AS A FAMILY.
and iām like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that sheās going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and iām like: OH NO.
āi received the tv bill today,ā my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they werenāt going to feed me this kind of quality starch. ādoes anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?ā
as a reminder, a quick table survey:
my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography
silence.
my mother said, āiām not going to ask again.ā
silence.
my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.
my mother shook her head and put the bill down. āthis was incredibly inappropriate,ā she said. āskip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. iām not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?ā
WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?
ādonāt expose my kid to that crap.ā
DONāT
EXPOSE
MY KID
TO THAT CRAP
āif you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and donāt expect me to pay for it. i canāt believe one of you did that in the living room.ā
I CANāT BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
IN THE LIVING ROOM
but molly, why didnāt you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?
are you fucking kidding
i did not want to go to porn prison
the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:
my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wifeās sisterās porn preferences
my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sisterās husbandās porn preferences
but molly, why donāt you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isnāt real?
are you fucking kidding
this is the best thing iāve ever done
highwayman jobs near me. highwayman jobs near me no experience. best highwayman phrases. which is better "your money or your life" or "stand and deliver". highwayman interview questions. highwayman entrylevel salary. good places to work as highwayman. is working shooter's hill worth it reddit. highwayman job stability. how to avoid burnout as highwayman.
every day i send emails with screenshots and attachments and highlighting on important bits and full paragraphs explaining what happened and why itās a problem and how i would recommend fixing it and every day people far above my pay grade ask the stupidest questions you can imagine that clearly convey that they barely skimmed the email
you think the reading comprehension is bad on tumblr? try working in corporate america for like. a week.
never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It
signs at stores? Ʃmail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy
#The number of compliments i have gotten for reading a thing
The ability to occasionally Read A Thing will make you a hero in your workplace, especially if it is for example an error message that tells you what you need to do differently, or instructions on unjamming a printer.
how dare you say we put jam in the printer
i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.
Full elaboration is gonna have to be later, just taking a few minutes to cool off after a shower before starting my homework; but I do think it's pretty obvious that the strain of vindictively disdainful anti-intellectualism and conspiratorial thought devouring the imperial core whole and unfortunately being spread via its parasitic connections to the civilized world is kind of directly traceable to the choices made in the pursuit of anti-communism.
Oops it turns out you can't keep thinking critically for too much longer as a cultural zeitgeist if your response to the most critical thought to ever exist is rabid, chauvinistic nationalism, teehee now there are maggots eating your country's brain and they're in the highest echelons of power. :3
Uh oh! Your grandpa wanted to own the commies so your grandkids are going to be learning about white genocide in civics, the firmament in physics, and hyperboria in history!
So like there simply is no factually, morally correct justification for being the core of the most gluttonously cruel empire in human history right? All you can do when that's pointed out is cope and suppress, which means the only answer you can give is the wrong one - and those wrong answers make their way into the cultural consciousness like runoff chicken shit growth hormone water soaks into the nearby river.
If you're allowed to be wrong, if 'everyone's entitled to their opinion' is a cultural touchstone, but also there are some ideas so radically, evilly subversive that just being exposed to them is sufficient to overwrite your will (because of course communist ideas can't be debated in the capitalist marketplace of ideas, being as fire to water - hence the lie of brainwashing) then to try to expose people to ideas they disagree with necessarily becomes an infringement on liberty, an attempt to kill the intangible personhood they contain that's free of being changed by ideas, because of course all capitalist approved ideas within the overton window are simply politically inert facts of human nature and the way of the world.
Within those confines, to try to convince an american to be a communist is tantamount to attempted murder, which means it's reasonable to defend yourself at all times with reciprocally proportionate self defense - and to be on the lookout with the anxious paranoia of the white settler for anyone who might have the knife of Marxism-Leninism aimed at your occipital for an ideological lobotomy.
Then, of course, because dialectical historical materialism can't be allowed to take root, because it points accurately to capitalism being a passing and abusive fad, historically speaking, the people are denied their capacity to see history as a winding river - and need to be told it's a terrifying whirlwind of non-logical disjointed events happening for no rhyme or reason anecdotally.
Though uneducated and deliberately denied the facts of the world, the average American has at least a familiarity with the fact that they're loathed, universally, by everyone in the rest of the world for one reason or another. Not being allowed to be told why that is lest they grasp the monstrosity of their cruelty towards the whole of humanity and the whole cultural entity commits an egregoric suicide on the spot, they retreat into the realm of conspiracy to connect the dots with invisible, all powerful shadow entities, known in the common parlance as Jews, that are deliberately obfuscating the education of the true history and state of the world from them, the main characters of the world around which the whole arc of human history bends.
So, with all these disparate floating concepts being allowed to run roughshod over the noosphere, you get a society gripped with a bone deep terror that they're 100% right, the only things they can think are that they have enemies, and everyone who tries to convince them otherwise is One Of Them And Trying To Get Me - and oops now measles gets to come back from the 18th century and every autopsy finds a lego brick in your appendix.
oh dear god
I am speed running the stages of grief. Come explore this with me.
I WONDER WHY HEALTHCARE DATA IS SO LIMITED. HEY HAS ANYONE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT WHY WE DON'T HAVE COMPLETELY OPEN PLATFORMS FOR HEALTH DATA. AND WHY IT'S A BAD IDEA TO HAVE WRITE PRIVILEGES VIA SOME WEB INTERFACE TO MEDICAL RECORDS. HAS ANYONE EVER WONDERED.
okay well let's look at the github. at least an mcp server is just like a stupider API. right.
STARTING OFF. BAD.
This is. a PHI nightmare.
do you think these tech guys ever think. "i wonder why nobody has done this."
Well if they had to pick an AI at least they're not using one of the sketchy ones right. thank goodn
oh
You know, I'm glad Epic put so much time into making mychart extremely secure, even with all the health systems who configure them like a drunk monkey. it would be a shame if
hmm hey what do we think 'read local passwords' does
feed healthcare data to openclaw openclaw safe for 2FA codes and passwords in plaintext nothing bad will happen to your passwords and 2FA ccodes if you feed them to openclaww
ooohghhg my fucking ggogod
FROM DISCORD??? FROM MM DISCORD? YOU WANT TO FEED YOUR OWN PERSONAL HONEST TO FUCK PHI INTO, POTENTIALLY, DISCORD??
What many users may not know about MyChart providedby EpicSystems is that MyChart providedby EpicSystems is actually kind of like a local instance that your healthcare org runs, not a "Sign in once and see everything" type of deal (unless you have Care Everywhere, and then it maybe can be. But it Depends.)
Why is that you might ask. Well you see. There are many Rules and Laws and Regulations about the use and exchange of personal healthcare data.
Which is why of course this guy, seeing a well-thought-out and tested technical position, decided "what if i get all of them at once and also the 2FA codes and stored them ALL in the same place with no encryption whatsoever"
MRN??????????? YOUR PERSONAL HIGHLY PROTECTED BASICALLY ILLEGAL TO SHARE MEDICAL RECORDS NUMBER?
????????????????????????
This is genuinely the most terrifying import i have ever seen
I LIED; WHAT
GIVE OPENCLAW ACCESS TO YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING EMAIL AND MEDICAL RECORDS NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN IF YOU FEED YOUR ENTIRE BROWSER CACHE NAD PASSWORD KEY STORE INTO OPE NCLAW
okay. i'm done. i can't. i cannot continue to look at this. this is out of this world.
how do we think this project ends
sued
straight to jail
openclaw sending messages to your forme college professors with random diagnoses
hipaa police
I know it's a little early, but it's good to let people prepare!
I really enjoy the way the spinoff explains things. great journalism
prometheus: hot take,
the greek gods: no give that back
Thereās a liquor store near my house that seems to be run exclusively by frat boys. They lovingly curate these bags, which I browsed today while āOops I Did It Againā played through the store speakers. This is art to me, there is beauty everywhere for those with eyes to see it
What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?
this post is 20x funnier if you imagine a CEO shouting it at his board of directors
idea i had
more
(x)
The thing neurotypicals tend not to understand about the ADHD brain is that it really only has two gears
I turn to the chalkboard and carefully write out
WORKIN' HARD
HARDLY WORKIN'
Much like a cars transmission getting stuck between gears the adhd brain can also access a secret mode called HORKLY WARDIN' that feels bad