Offices™

its like if you took an egg and cracked the and took the egg and broke it that'd be cracking it and then a bowl you get a bowl and crack (break ) the egg and thats how you make eggs soup

[mr-deep-downer]

What would the American people do without the courageous perverts of the TSA risking life and your dignity to bravely pat down that suspicious groin area!

[offices-regionalbranch]

I be putting coins in my foreskin just to fuck with them

[ibuprofengirl]

here's to another year of being a substance abusing pseudo intellectual

[offices-regionalbranch]

"never trust a wife guy wife guys are always cheaters"

Oh yeah?

Explain this

[benihana-circumcision]

theory that columbo's wife isnt real and is just a rhetorical tool

[offices-regionalbranch]

That's what my mom says but if you consider the short lived Mrs Colombo to be real then you've met her

[vriskakinnieaynrand]

The only people i hate more than city people are country people. Good god I don't care about sheep.

suburb supremacy...

[offices-regionalbranch]

Suburbcels saying that no one cares about sheep, bro the rest of us don't care about cul-de-sacs or chandelier windows bro let's calm down

[vriskakinnieaynrand]

some of us are not welsh.

[offices-regionalbranch]

I'm also not welsh

[offices-regionalbranch]

If you read the story of the tower of babel 2001 makes more sense as a year tbh

[offices-regionalbranch]

Vampire Twitter must be crazy lmao imagine getting into an argument on Twitter and someone brings up that you fought for the confederacy lmao

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

If you could have a banana, would you feel like this?

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES Y

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluffel

[vriskakinnieaynrand]

The only people i hate more than city people are country people. Good god I don't care about sheep.

suburb supremacy...

[offices-regionalbranch]

Suburbcels saying that no one cares about sheep, bro the rest of us don't care about cul-de-sacs or chandelier windows bro let's calm down

[offices-regionalbranch]

Why is Amelia Earhart disappearing a mystery? You ever been on a flight and hear a woman over the intercom?

[offices-regionalbranch]

Again being in my flop era I'll post whatever

[offices-regionalbranch]

Watching the sopranos w my mom before and she said "if he wants to lay low why doesn't he go to the monastery like [dead family friend] did when he needed to do that"

[offices-regionalbranch]

Heres shitty gayer Freddy Mercury showing micro Kermit his shitty cum tissue or whatever (197fuckyou)

[offices-regionalbranch]

[beardedmrbean]

[civilizationkills]

this is not the way to "help" a turtle at all, and if anything puts them in more danger :/

turtles on the side of the road should always be moved in the direction they're trying to go in, and only as far as the other side of the road. many turtle species have seasonal habitats or nesting areas they travel to and they know where they're going! someone just put a road in their way! taking them miles away puts them in even more danger, since they'll have to cross many more roads when they try to return. especially for species like the wood turtle that have homing abilities and can/will travel kilometers to get home. also not all turtles live in or near water seasonally or year-round, and if you see them far away from water chances are that's where they're supposed to be.

[offices-regionalbranch]

Actually, turtles on the side of the road should be chucked into oncoming traffic!! They're smart animals they'll matrix dodge

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

tell me about your beloved son gunge?

My son Gunge is a really good dog.

ALT

[hylianeevee]

he’s so…. cute, Frank!

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

He’s just such a good, happy little lad.

[hylianeevee]

It’s great that Gunge is so happy, but who are those two people?

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

They are his two parents, his mom being a kind of human dog and his dad being a kind of human man.

They are a couple

[anusgeorg]

Please tell me more about the human dogs. How did they come to be ?

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

They live with my parents and are trained to “speak” a very simple programming language using an interface created by my father. One day, in what must be a dream sequence, there is a giant black dog on my balcony. It turns out that the dog is actually my father.

[offices-regionalbranch]

I have had that exact dream

[offices-regionalbranch]

"never trust a wife guy wife guys are always cheaters"

Oh yeah?

Explain this

[offices-regionalbranch]

I love the evangelical twinge of Family Feud but I wish they would go like full into it

"We asked 100 people, what's something you'd see in hell"

"We're going with faggots Steve"

"SHOW ME FAGGOTS"

*ding* pillowbiters/fudgepackers