*Itachi bandaging up Kisame after returning from a battle*
Kisame: We’re lucky it didn’t start raining until after we got back here, aren’t we?
Kisame: And it’s a good thing we still have bread left in our packs from earlier … as usual there’s not a scrap of food in this place.
Itachi: Mm. *wraps the last bandaid in place* Done.
Kisame: … Itachi? Are you angry with me?
Itachi, cleaning up the first aid supplies: It’s not worth discussing. You lost a lot of blood. Perhaps you should go rest for a bit.
*he starts to walk away, but Kisame reaches out and grabs his arm*
Itachi: Kisame. Don’t. What you did today was exceedingly foolish. I would have thought that the fact that you’re older than I am would have prevented you from trying to take on three opponents by yourself. *starts to walk away again*
Kisame, softly: I won, didn’t I?
Itachi, whirling back around: You call this a win?! We just barely made it out of there! Go look in the mirror, look at how bruised and banged-up you are, and tell me that this is a win!!
Kisame: Your sharingan was exhausted! YOU were exhausted! What was I supposed to do?!
Itachi: LEAVE ME THERE!! Leave me to die and get yourself to safety!
Kisame: You and I both know that such a thing isn’t an option, Itachi. How could you even suggest such a thing?
Itachi: Do you have no sense of self-preservation?
Kisame: I do. I know that I wouldn’t want to go on if you weren’t here with me. I wouldn’t survive. Therefore just leaving you is an absurd proposition.
Itachi: You think too much of me …
Kisame: *wraps his arms around Itachi’s waist* I love you, idiot. Now say you love me back so we can make up.
Itachi, grinning: What if I don’t want to say it, mm?
Kisame: *growls low in his throat* Are you challenging me?
Kisame: *lifts Itachi up and positions him against the wall, aggressively kissing down his neck* Guess I’ll have to torment you to get what I want, brat …
Itachi, barely holding back a moan: D-do your w-worst …
*Hidan walks into the room*
Hidan: Okay, fuck you both. I’ve been listening to your “fight” for twenty minutes, waiting for something good to happen … and you’re about to do it instead?! Where’s the drama?? Where’s the anger? Where’s the yelling and the smashing and breaking?!
Hidan: Fuckin’ pussies, can’t even have a goddamn decent brawl!
Deidara, from his room: Right?! That was the most boring shit I ever heard, hm! That made me want to punch the wall!
Deidara: Tobi, what the hell?!
Tobi, howling: Y-you said you wanted the wall punched!
Deidara: IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON!! Who’s going to fix that hole?!
Tobi, in Obito voice: FUCK THAT, WHO’S GOING TO FIX MY HAND?!
Hidan: Finally, some decent action! Later, losers! *runs to Deidara’s room*
Kisame: … you still in the mood?
Itachi: … shamefully, yes.
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