The Matron

Disclaimer: This is by no means a serious roleplay page. Please do not take me seriously.

[officialnophica]

{{ Okay, I'm going to do some serious talk for a sec, and hopefully never again, because this is not supposed to be a serious blog. Jokes about Gridania being racist are entertaining because they're true. But there's a point were it stops being funny and sometimes looks like you're not trying to be funny at all. If anyone pushes it beyond being funny, I'm going to start ignoring it. If anyone looks like they're not not joking and actually throwing a fit over what is actually a pretty standard societal flaw for a fantasy nation, I'm going to ignore it. I'm not here to have arguments or Discourse(TM). As a final note, I am fully aware that Gridanian society is not perfect, as I am aware that pretty much every other city-state is also not perfect, so you don't have to educate me. End serious talk.

[officialnophica]

Why are you so mad at Halone?

When Nophica, mother of life, learned of Halone’s wanton destruction of Her creations,She was angered beyond words and swore revenge, but the Fury ignored the Matron’s challenges, widening the rift between the two.

I may have agreed to truce but there’s no forgiving a bitch who fucks with your kids.

[officialnophica]

To the gatherers: don’t harvest more than you need.

To the hunters: make use of the entirety of your kill’s carcass.

To everyone: don’t listen to Halone. She’s a killjoy.

[itsalburton]

FUCK YOU AND YOUR TREES, NOPHICA

[officialnophica]

You’re grounded. Go to your room before I wash your foul mouth out.

[itsalburton]

FUCK YOUR RACIST WOODWAILERS AND CHILD-NEGLECTING CONJURERS, TOO

[officialnophica]

Have you met Ishgard?

[ultimasheir]

Hey, at least Ishgard worked on its problems and is moving in a progressive direction.  Gridania, meanwhile, is a racist hellhole deserving of nothing but flame.

[officialnophica]

How would you know Gridania isn’t working on things? You adventurers and warriors of light only stop by for 3 seconds every 5 months before you go back to Ishgard to fix their mess.

[ultimasheir]

Well it’d be nice if Square Enix showed us any of this.  They haven’t, so I must assume it’s not there.

Gridania delendum est.

[officialnophica]

So you see that it is out of my hands.

We should definitely all be looking at this "Yoshi-P" I keep hearing about. Tell him the mother of life sent you.

[officialoschon]

Step Right up ,

And Tell your Uncle Oschon What You Want For Starlight This Year?

[officialnophica]

May I please have Halone's utter humiliation?

[officialnophica]

Saw @officialmenphina at FanFest today. Glad @officialhalone wasn't there.

[officialoschon]

Going On A Walk Who Wants To Go With ?

[officialoschon]

Walking Through The Woods Now

[officialnophica]

And you didn't even stop in to say hi

[officialoschon]

Do anyone ever remembers the Twelve , and our Tum Blogs , where are they now

@officialhalone @officialnaldthal @officialmogglemogxii @officialazeyma

@officialrhalgr @officialmenphina @officialthaliak @officialnymeia

@officialnophica @officialdravania @officialllymlaen whom have to many L in the name, and also anyone else I don’t know the name of the weblog?

[officialnophica]

Oschon you are drunk go home

[faeunion]

Consider this: PvP with the Twelve, specifically Halone and Nophica.

[officialnophica]

I’m not big on fighting, but let’s be real, we all know I’d win that round.

[officialhalone]

in your dreams, scrub lord.

[officialnophica]

I hear you like tomatoes. I'll be sure to make sure the harvests are plentiful this year so there will be more than enough to coat your frosty behind.

[thavnairian-mist]

Friendly reminder that Azeyma is the one true Goddess uwu

[officialnaldthal-blog]

First of all how dare you

[officialmenphina]

Second of all, have fun never getting laid again.

[rakuza]

Where is Halone in all of this? Why hasn’t she brought down her Fury against these others?

[officialhalone]

I thought I’d try bein chill and letting the others have a turn first but

I really hope you enjoy heat and golden fans because that’s literally all that slacker offers

so yeah have fun never winning a fight again. sure hope you never have to participate in a trial by combat.

[thavnairian-mist]

Halone is just mad that she’s one letter away from ‘alone’

@officialazeyma you muh bae

[faeunion]

Consider this: PvP with the Twelve, specifically Halone and Nophica.

[officialnophica]

I’m not big on fighting, but let’s be real, we all know I’d win that round.

[officialhydaelen]

@officialoschon @officialnophica @officialrhalgr @officialhalone @officialnaldthal @officialthaliak @officialllymlaen @officialazeyma

Well hello there, kids.

[officialnophica]

'Sup, Grandma?

[officialnophica]

ser-charizard-of-the-holy-see:

officialnophica:

Oh dear me, how right you are. My brain is so small–so often do I forget to bestow my bounty upon some people. I certainly hope I don’t forget Ishgard…

“You must be forgetful. As most of it is snow anymore, but please let me write you a note or something, wouldn’t want you to forget due to fluff on the brains.”

It is indeed snow-covered, and yet still you live on, freely attributing my gifts to that war-mongering Halone...

[officialnophica]

ser-charizard-of-the-holy-see:

officialnophica:

ser-charizard-of-the-holy-see:

“Excuse you! Says the leaf wearing treehugger. With a bosom the size of her head!”

Does the size of my bosom make you uncomfortable, ser?

He scoffed, “I merely wish to imply that with such a huge bosom clearly there is not much room for a very large brain, least you fall over due to the weight of it all.”

Oh dear me, how right you are. My brain is so small--so often do I forget to bestow my bounty upon some people. I certainly hope I don’t forget Ishgard...

[officialnophica]

ser-charizard-of-the-holy-see:

“Excuse you! Says the leaf wearing treehugger. With a bosom the size of her head!”

Does the size of my bosom make you uncomfortable, ser?

[officialnophica]

officialhalone I think ser-charizard-of-the-holy-see may be the perfect example of how your followers should look. Perfect fashion disaster.

[officialnophica]

These moogles are starting to sound like those unfortunate sheep in Ishgard.

[officialnymeia-blog]

Annoying and only good for materials? That sounds about right.

[eatthismogsheild-blog]

AT LEAST WE ARE REAL. YOU ALL ARE JUST A BUNCH OF MADE UP TALES THAT THOSE UN-BELIEVER MADE UP CAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS OF OUR GOOD KING MOG THE XII.

[officialnophica]

I shall offer you a deal:

You lot calm the hells down and I will make sure your kupo nut harvest is tripled. 

[officialnophica]

These moogles are starting to sound like those unfortunate sheep in Ishgard.