mistress of my actions

ind and selective christine daae from mixed canon. written by haley. est 07/31/2015. reest. 04/10/2017

[ofsoprano-blog]

this blog has moved

Hey so apparently since I have the attention span of a gold fish and cannot handle multiple blogs, Christine has moved to my multi at @exitiumparit

Blows kisses see y’all over there!

[ofsoprano-blog]

@margueritestjust liked for a starter

She was free, and she was Christine deChagny, and she had no idea of where her life was going to turn next.

Outside, the London rain was pouring. In the adventures her and her father took as a girl, England had never been one of their destinations. Now, it felt a little satisfying to know the rain was as common as people had said.

She turned her wedding ring round and round her finger as she rested her cheek to the cool pane of glass. There was a book in her lap, but her eyes had been scanning the same page for the past half hour and Christine was sure she’d never be able to focus long enough to actually read her book.

Raoul had laid down with a headache and Christine, restless, found a place to hide in Marguerite’s home after he’d fallen asleep. They would be off to Sweden soon--her old home would be new again--but were resting in London to gather some stability. She still wasn’t sure how Marguerite and her husband had found them, but she was grateful nonetheless.

A door opened and Christine looked over to see Marguerite stroll in.

“Oh, hello,” Christine greeted, a little tired in her smile and voice. “Was just enjoying the rain.”

[ofsoprano-blog]

bellassan:

“Yeah, I’ll need to bring it back with me to see what’s going on.” He didn’t look up right then. He found the manufacturer’s website and took a look at the specs given and compared them to the ones he could find internally. That all checked out, so at least she hadn’t been ripped off, but there was still something …

“Do you have another laptop or tablet or anything in the meantime? I could take it in a day or two if you need time to work something like that out. But I’d like to take it now, if that’s okay.”

He looked up at her, again seeing her fidgeting, searching her face. Her paranoia could be just that, but he was getting a sense that it was very warranted. And he wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that other than knowing he had to try to help give her an answer.

“No, I don’t need it. You can take it,” she replied, perhaps a little too insistently. Get it away from me. Finding a place to ditch her phone later would be another problem; she’d get rid of it as soon as she heard back from Ferus about her laptop. 

She sat a little straighter, eyes shifting past Ferus as if someone could be looking for her. Only a moment before she looked back to Ferus.

“Do you need anything else from me?”

[ofsoprano-blog]

sobs loudly and with great feeling I got to see Phantom on the West End and fucking died

Oh and like for a starter <3

[ofsoprano-blog]

Honestly for ATJ being such a popular fancast for Leroux Raoul, HOW ARE THERE NOT MORE BLACK DOMINO/WHITE DOMINO AESTHETIC EDITS ?????

[comfortlesssuggestion-blog]

what did you do to me. what did you do to me. WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME.

[perksofbeingafanboy]

daenerys targaryen, a storm of swords

march 8th - happy international women’s day

[ofsoprano-blog]

“I’m telling you this because I don’t want to have any secrets from you. I don’t want there to be any lies between us.”

@ladetstorme || idk where the meme was from

Christine held her friend’s hands gently, thumbs running over the backs of Elsa’s hands soothingly, softly, quietly--more for her own comfort, secretly, than Elsa’s.

The story of a girl judged for her gifts--a peculiar type of gift that was feared before it was ever given the chance to love, and the little girl’s heart that was broken in the process--and the story of a woman who was still standing despite it all. It sounded like such a familiarly sad story; it all sounded like the network of scars running along Christine’s own heart.

She thought of returning to that dressing room, to Erik’s lair, wearing the ring, and wondered if Elsa felt the same when she stared at the lock on her door, or found a new pair of gloves, or saw her parents’ disapproving gaze again. There was harnessing her magic and Christine wondered if she hated snow like Christine once hated music, the sound of her own voice, and mirrors. Did Elsa still fear herself like Christine didn’t trust herself with strangers, or churches, or angels?

(Was the sun on her face still the sweetest blessing because she, too, once thought it would never rise again?)

There’s a story I’m going to tell you one day. It’s the story of my heartbreak and my destruction. One day, you’ll know it, and I hope you won’t hate me for hiding it from you.

Christine nodded and pulled Elsa in, slow, and sweet, and sad, and, tears catching in her dark eyes as she hid her face on Elsa’s shoulder so she wouldn’t see her cry.

“Thank you, Elsa,” she swore.

[sierraboggesscats]

All I Ask Of You & Masquerade, the Phantom of the Opera Paris, Sierra Boggess & Bastien Jacquemart.

[decemberelegy-deactivated202503]

In this, the phantom’s opera…

[ofsoprano-blog]

bellassan:

“Alright.”

He was frowning a little as he looked through the location data – he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something there that made him feel like he needed to take another look. Part of why he was good at this, though, was because he followed his intuition. Something was up, one way or the other. And not just because Christine said so.

Silent for a little while, he pulled up her internet access as well and the serves she was connected to, and then opened her web browser not to look at what she had on there exactly cause it was of little consequence to him for now and would probably stay that way, but to make a quick google search on the particular laptop model she was using to get a look at the retail listings closest to where they were.

“When did you get this laptop? Was the hacking problem why you got rid of your old one?”

“Uh--Less than a month ago, and yes, that’s why I got rid of it.”

Her nerves were climbing again. Erik was going to kill her. Erik was going to kill him. She was honestly surprised Raoul was still alive yet, but maybe that spoke to just how well she convinced him that she hated him. 

“I--You can take the laptop to look at it more, if you want.” Lessening the power of Erik’s gaze by one sounded....relieving. Even if it was only a moment of thinking that her every move wasn’t being watched--she needed the moment. And she needed to know if he’d hurt her again.

“Just if you find anything I need to know first.”

[thelovejournals]

I had gotten so used to being alone, but never entirely used to it. Never used to it enough to stop wanting the alternative.

David Levithan (via unsatedvengeance)

[ofsoprano-blog]

Like for a post-Erik Christine starter

[wildfairy]

god, give the girl fire. give her a violet life. make her delirious in love. wild in the face of fear.                              god, give the girl a better beginning.                                        give her a taste of the sun.                                          flood her sky with birds.                                build her body from the salt water. god, give the girl a universe in her name. give her hands that know forgiveness. let her know the grace of wings. forget the thorns in her side.                              god, give the girl a sanctuary in the sky.

GIRL’S DESIRES, angelea l. (via wildfairy)

[ofsopranoarchived-blog1]

Something I’ve always found sad about LND: Christine was never diminished by Erik. She was always whole. Storms weathered her heart, but she was not destroyed by Erik. Erik tried as he could (even if he didn’t always realize that was what he was doing) to destroy her, to smother her, but Christine was always whole. Christine was always together. Like so many other pieces of work (Phantom or not) where the damsel in distress is killed by her tormentor, Christine not only stayed together but saved herself.

So I see things like LND, where it’s alluded/implied/said that Christine spends the rest of her life post-Erik yearning for him, yearning for a piece of her lost soul, I get sad. It’s a singular interpretation that she felt that way, yes, but I feel like the starpower of Christine is diminished a little. Christine is meant to stand on her own and she remains whole. I feel that is one of the most important pieces of her character, and things like “Beneath a Moonless Sky” imply Christine made a Erik vs. Raoul decision instead of the deeply humane and loving third option of compassion. She is a truly magnificent entity that can stand on her own and the LND narrative of Christine always wondering “what if?” saddens me.

“Haley, you write Christine as spending the rest of her life wishing she could rehabilitate Erik.” Yes, I do. And I believe that is mutually exclusive from what I’m trying to say here. I believe Christine could have spent the rest of her life trying to help Erik if he would have let her. However, I believe she would have also been with Raoul. I don’t think Christine likes the word “or.” She believes that life lives in shades of gray and with many “ands.” However, I believe that the beauty of Christine’s independence and autonomy is tarnished when I see LND saying that Christine’s quality of life was weakened by the lack of Erik. Erik abused Christine through and through; her quality of life only improved. The ethereal compassion of Christine Daae lies in the fact, though, that she stand tall and on her own with her choices made as her own and for the health of herself.

[ofsopranoarchived-blog1]

The dichotomies and reflections in Erik and Christine make my head buzz.

Christine is supposed to be the angelic, virtuous damsel in distress. At first glance, she is supposed to be the helpless damsel in distress trope. An orphan, an immigrant, isolated, and trapped by a male superior in a situation that seems to be one she can’t get out of on her own. At first glance, she is supposed to be saved by a knight in shining armor.

Oh, but Christine Daae says “fuck your stereoypes.” When Raoul demanded of her an answer to his love, Christine resisted. That in and of itself is a fairly new age and feminist idea (not that romantic love is inherently not feminist), but to trump that, she’s denying Raoul his love and his answers out of protection for him. Immediately, despite Christine Daae being in a fairly helpless and perilous situation, she has taken the control she could and grasped onto it with all that she had. Nothing was operating underneath her terms, but she took her situation and made it one she could control in her own way. When Raoul tried to curse Erik and damn him, Christine qualified her young love: Erik is a villain, but he deserves kindness. Erik terrifies me, but I have to sing for him because that is all he has. (Erikstine shippers, this is not what I’m meaning.) In all the pain that Christine Daae endured, her naivete went untarnished and her love of humanity uncontested.

Erik is supposed to be the treacherous villain hiding in the shadows, waiting to kill and smother any semblance of light and goodness. Erik is supposed to be every single incarnate of villainly without a shred of remorse or redeeming qualities. Erik is supposed to be every single opposite to Christine; at first glance, he is supposed to be the shadow to Christine’s brilliant light.

Oh, but Erik is not a villain crafted because he wanted to be evil. Erik abuses, harasses, tortures, and kills because that all he is ever known. Society showed him cruelty and he showed it treachery in kind. And despite all the violence and pain that fell from his hands, it’s not what he wanted at the end of his story. Above all, Erik craved normalcy. He thirsted desperately and endlessly for a wife, for a life where he could live in normal society, for a face that wouldn’t scare anyone who saw. Social standards showed Erik pain; Erik turned to a creator of pain himself while still yearning for a chance to live in the light that cast him into shadow.

Where Christine broke the vicious circle of her time, Erik continued the revolutions of agony. Where Christine should have cursed Erik to hell, she offered him an opportunity for healing. When Christine should have shunned him, she kissed him and embraced him and breathed life into his aching lungs. Where Erik could have smothered Christine, he heard her cries and, finally, let her go when he realized he couldn’t change her. Within their respective tropes, they should have destroyed each other. Christine should have cursed his name and Erik should have stamped out her light.

Instead, Christine never let her kindness die. She showed him beauty and compassion and Erik finally learned. He grieved. He finally took a shred of responsibility of his actions and was transformed. He found guilt in his crimes. Erik’s sins are inexcusable, but the love in Christine’s heart refused to deny him compassion, the sorriest of sinners.

“ But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian’s daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?” - Mark Twain

When Christine had every right to damn Erik, she showed him empathy. She dared to pray for him and Erik dared to give Christine something back he had never known himself; freedom.

[ofsopranoarchived-blog1]

Long as fuck meta post to get some thoughts out of my head, inspired by conversations with @fantomexnoir and @masterofmirrors

So the quote in Kay: “In darkness he came, and in darkness he left” about Erik. Or, the close enough quote. IDK the PDF isn’t loading. Anyways. Erik and his cruelty was created because he was shown nothing but cruelty. Whatever backstory you believe to be canon for Erik, his life was dark as hell. His life was a constant cycle of suffering and misery. “The world showed no compassion to me!” Erik turned into a mirror: he reflected what he was shown.

But.

IDK.

Christine’s life was no pretty, easy picture either. She knew death and grief at a tragic age, was shown little kindness due to her status in life. Stories were told to her that filled her head with fantasies that later made tragedy even worse for her. She was trapped due to a singular factor she could not really help (her voice) and she was isolated by someone who vowed to keep her from the world and for himself. She was told her relationships were not worthy, not valid, and that she was worth less without Erik. I know I’m simplifying some arguments here, but there are parts of me that think Christine and Erik can be foils just as much as Raoul and Erik are.

Christine and Erik were both crafted in darkness, both Christine and Erik lived in darkness, and both Christine and Erik left each other in darkness. They collided into each other, a blackhole and dying nebula. I know blackholes suck everything around them, but Christine exploded from her nebula and obliterated Erik’s blackhole with the light of her star. (Cheesy as fuck, I know. Shut up.)

I can’t remember the quote (not from any source of Phantom canon), but it kind of goes along the lines of “The world showed her cruelty and it only made her kinder.” Christine knows loneliness, pain, and abuse nearly as deeply as Erik, if not equal to him or more. However, where Erik turned dark and menacing, Christine desperately retained her light, goodness, and empathy. I know Christine is often treated as the “balance” between Erik’s dark and Raoul’s light, but maybe Erik and Christine reflect each other more than meets the eye?

*end rant*

*for now*