The PUNisher

A lot of people find Puns cheesy. But I find them Gouda.

[ohmypun]

"I hate being half motorcycle, half bicycle." he moped.

[ohmypun]

Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.

[ohmypun]

How many knees do men really have?

3… Their left knee, right knee, and their wee-knee.

[ohmypun]

I was born at an incredibly young age.

[ohmypun]

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bycicle?

A Tire.

[ohmypun]

If you want a job in the moisturizing industry, the best advice I can is apply daily.

[ohmypun]

Two antennas got married. The ceremony dragged on, but the reception was excellent.

[ohmypun]

I hate perforated lines,

They're tearable.

[ohmypun]

So you're telling me... A chicken... Fried this rice?

[ohmypun]

Are you Claustrophobic?

That’s ok, it just means you’re better at thinking outside of the box.

[ohmypun]

What happened when the Cow jumped over the barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction.

[ohmypun]

What's Canada's favourite Dr. Seuss book?

Tim Horton Hears a Who.

[ohmypun]

Why shouldn't you iron a 4 leaf clover?

Because you don't want to press your luck.

[ohmypun]

So this guy goes to a costume party with a woman on his back.

The host asks him: “What are dressed as?” He responds: “I’m dressed as a snail of course.” The host then asks him: “well, who’s on your back?” He replies : “That’s Michelle”

[ohmypun]

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One's really heavy, the other one's. . . a little lighter.

[ohmypun]

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

He eats too much pi.

[ohmypun]

Why do milking stools only have 3 legs?

Because the cow has the udder.