Oh the Stories I've to Tell

Things and Stuff. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing 95% of the time. Early thirties, she/her. Cross Stitching Sideblog: spazinstitches Got a little to spare? paypal.me/K1220

[nayters]

[julie-and-the-himbo-ghosts]

Afab ppl with chronic pain: *feel pain*

Afab ppl with chronic pain: is this the monthly subscription or the spam?

[pdfbabe]

my joints are a retractable ballpoint pen and god is going clickclickclickclick

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

People love the myth that Health is a Choice. Because if it’s a choice, then unhealthy people deserve to be unhealthy. And that makes society’s job so much easier. 

If health is a choice, society gets to shirk its responsibility to accommodate people with disabilities, chronic illnesses, mental health issues, and those who are undiagnosed but struggling. It’s an excuse to ignore all the very necessary changes that need to be made–changes in healthcare, in social safety nets, in building codes, in the language we use and the way we interact with people with different needs.

Healthy people love the illusion that health is a choice, and media encourages that illusion because it helps excuse the many, many shortcomings of the current system. But healthy people don’t stay healthy forever--and when their needs inevitably change, they will find themselves at the mercy of an inadequate, indifferent system that views “inconvenient” human lives as disposable.

[catchymemes]

Heavy Metal Animals

[ohthestoriesitell]

@elderberriesandarsenic

[ohthestoriesitell]

there is a literal (literal! not metaphorical!) hole burning through my stomach and i came to this god forsaken website for a shred of joy and dopamine, not for sexist, anti-trans drivel somehow couched as FEMINISM.

[youngchronicpain]

Accessible Gardening for People with Physical Disabilities 

I just saw a picture of this book going around with a link to a sold out Canadian Amazon site. So for everyone in the U.S. who wants to start a garden this year, here you go! 

[ohthestoriesitell]

@iamtehzuul @lexkixass

[omg-hawkeye]

just watched endgame for the first time  ✌️ 🥺

[990000]

[aviest-deactivated20220107]

Where do I even begin with this…

First of all, this is a ridiculous point and has got nothing to do with the broader topic. In my school, PE was segregated and you know what, when we did occasionally have mixed lessons where we would e.g play football (soccer), it was basically just 20 boys running around and having fun and the girls just standing there, bored and annoyed because you know what? Males are faster and stronger than females. I’m a damn fast runner but I could never beat even the slowest boy in my class because he’s default settings gave him such a massive advantage.

Do you know the lifting world record for women? Okay, now do you also know that a random dude who likes going to the gym can beat that like nobody’s business? And you know what else? It’s not sexist, it’s just nature.

Of course I’m not trying to say that there are no differences within sexes. I was a fast runner and some girls in my class weren’t. Some were crazy good at long jump, some at volleyball, some could throw a ball so far my shitty eyes couldn’t even see it anymore, some could easily stretch their bodies in ways it was almost painful to watch, some had very good balance etc. People are different, their bodies are different, some are physically more capable than others. I’m sure I could find a whole lot of males I could outrun.

But that’s not the point. The point is actual real life sport competitions where being successful means getting paid and earning a living. And there are no males there I could outrun even if I trained like a professional athlete because on average males are faster and stronger and can quite easily beat women’s whichever sport world records, not to mention those of them who actually train to be as good as possible.

Someone made a point about no one wanting to keep trans men out of men’s competitions. Well, guess what, no trans man would go head to head with a biological male because they know he would have a natural advantage.

This is not about excluding trans people. This is about protecting female athletes. The universe doesn’t hate you and the level of ego behind the assumption that every single bad thing happens just to spite you is asinine.

Y'all claim to be feminists but somewhere along the way you stopped giving a fuck about females.

[the-exercist]

The big question I have for you here is - Why are we limiting participation in sports based solely on potential for winning? If sports really do teach people such wonderful qualities as teamwork, self-motivation, discipline, dedication, improved grade-point average, better focus, pride in ourselves, mental and physical health benefits then why are we focusing our decisions based on the top 3 people who are most likely to end up winning a medal? Who cares?

Trans swimmer James Wilson has argued that “Transitioning doesn’t happen from one second to the other,” Wilson says. “It’s a very long, slow process, and everybody is different. Sport is very binary, men and women. It’s black and white, but I want to be grey. I don’t care about medals – I just want to have my time recorded.”

I’m not personally on board with his idea of a third “gender” category, but I jive with the sentiment - Let’s acknowledge trans athletes by acknowledging the work that they put into their sport. So what if they don’t all become champions? So what if trans men typically won’t go “head to head” with cis male athletes? Let them be part of the game. It protects no one if we force them to the sidelines because “Well, you’d just lose anyway.” 

Because the big reason why we don’t hear more about trans men athletes? Not only are many trans men often forced out of their sport due to anti-doping laws and pushed into early retirement, but we honestly don’t hear about 90% of the professional athletes that exist anyway!  Trans boys and trans men are not perceived as a threat when it comes to sports, which means they tend to slide through the system without as much controversy. At the same time, this means they become an afterthought when it comes to advocacy or inclusion. We’re purposely ignoring them, then complaining that no one hears about their successes.

So let’s change the system so that the people who get sponsorships are the ones who demonstrate achievements in their field, whether or not that includes a #1 title. Because just playing along with this capitalist definition of success has already hurt so many people, why would we want to continue supporting it?

Strict gender division in sports is unnecessary and often leads to the exclusion of athletes who don’t express their gender in a way that is traditionally acceptable. Creating systems where we don’t seek to divide athletes in terms of “male” and “female” would be a huge step forward in actually promoting equality in sports and increasing competitive drive. Worried about fairness or safety? Then let’s split up matches in terms of the factors that make a real difference, such as height, weight, arm span, or whatever other factor is actually relevant to the individual sport.

[ohthestoriesitell]

Also? The first argument, at it's very base, is a flawed one.

You can't just say that no woman could ever beat a man in running, based on gender because, guess what? A woman did do so. All the way back in 2019. Allyson Felix, an Olympic Sprinter, beat Usain Bolt's World Record (you know, fastest man alive and all?) and did so just ten months after giving birth AND while doing so in a mixed relay, that had both men and women.

Regarding women's vs men's weightlifting? I found at least two instances (and this was just a super quick glance at wikipedia) where women lifted more in the Clean&Jerk than recorded, and in two cases had higher totals too? So I repeat, the argument at it's core is inherently flawed and @the-exercist makes a point that it shouldn't be segregated by gender, but by ability, arm span, weight, etc.

The idea of men being inherently better at certain sports and women being inherently better at others isn't only sexist, it's outdated and not supported by science or facts.

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

Denver Zoo and its gay lorikeets said fuck homophobes happy Pride

[agentduckorico]

Homophobes: u mean they act like brothers

Denver Zoo: they’re fucking, lorie.

[jetblackmanga]

Tokoyami: the winged hero must have chosen me for this internship because he is the number three hero and I ranked third in the school sports tournament, thus making us in some ways equals

Hawks, high off his ass, seeing Tokoyami at the tournament:

[elliestormfound]

Idiots to lovers implies that they stop being idiots when they finally get together, but that is just not true, they will always be idiots

[kheru-post-randoms]

Idiots (pining) to idiots (dating)

[avatraang]

idiot to usdiot

[whitepeopletwitter]

[vampirebeverage]

psa

no one fucking tells you this so here it is:

when signing out forms to apply for disability / filling out a form for diagnosis

you’re supposed to fill it out as you on your worst days

like, I filled out forms that said I could do most things usually

like, my doctor added in the conditions like “yeah, they can feed themselves when not stressed” “they can do this when not stressed”

but how I should have filled it out was more like

“some days I can’t feed myself” “some days I can’t leave the house”

My doctor didn’t even know this, but I talked to someone who had worked with people with both developmental and intellectual disabilities for a number of years, and she told me to write down how it is for your bad days

this should be a thing they tell you, but it isn’t

part of the reason I didn’t get my autism diagnosis as soon as I should have is because I filled out forms wrong!

[reservoircat]

This also goes for filling out forms for disabled parking rights. I’ve been rejected multiple times for a pass cause I didn’t find this out till recently.

[deducecanoe-deactivated20161213]

Wow

[myceliorum]

Also you’re generally supposed to fill it out as you are without help.

That throws me too.  Because the more help I get, the more capable I get.  It’s easy to forget what happens when the help falls away even partially let alone completely.

[finalgrlfriendarchive-deactivat]

if my bones are gonna crack like glow sticks every time i move i think i deserve bioluminescence. both to complete the aesthetic and as a consolation prize

[anarchapella]

Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs

[thecolorsfucked]

its not lying if its to employers or cops

and look up ur rights on what they can and cannot ask u many places ban asking about ur record and transportation status and things like that resources will also tell u how they reword sketchy questions so ur prepared

[mixingpumpkins]

Hey. Take it from a former HR person… this goes double right now. I just spent some time putting in some job applications myself (not for HR, lol) and got about 15 interviews. And idk if it’s because of COVID uncertainty or if places just don’t fucking care anymore because they know people are desperate for work, but the amount of straight up illegal shit my interviewers asked me was appalling. (That’s not even counting the questions that were technically legal but clearly fishing for information they’re not legally allowed to ask.)

A tame example? Two questions into a phone interview, the guy on the other end of the line asked: “How old are you?” I said “Excuse me?” - giving him a chance to rethink that. He didn’t. “How old are you?” “Sir, you are not allowed to ask me that question.” “Well, I want to know. I’m asking.” “And you’re legally not allowed to ask me that. I’m not required to tell you my age.” At that point, I guess he managed to remember an old HR bulletin or something (I hope to god he wasn’t actually HR himself), and he said, “Well, I need to know if you’re over the age of 18.” (Which is what he should have asked in the first place… or not, since that was in the application that he could have read.) “Yes. I’m over the age of 18.”  And we moved on. Two questions later, he tried another illegal question. I called him on it again and ended the interview, citing that a workplace with such a clear disregard for the law, especially upon first contact with a potential employee, was not going to be a good fit. (They offered me the job anyway, lol. I didn’t send a thank-you or a response.)

At a different interview, the majority of questions were “fishing” questions - just looking for that info they’re not actually allowed to ask. (This person was also either not really HR or an HR person who was exceptionally bad at their job.)

I could tell they were getting frustrated when I dodged answering the personal stuff, and they actually got extremely upset when I mentioned later in the interview (re: less relevant work experience) I had worked in HR. They were super flustered for the remainder of our time, and I watched them skip over questions on their sheet they had clearly planned on asking. They KNEW they were being sketchy and were counting on me not knowing anything about HR - or my rights - and so they got upset when I did. These were super tame examples. I’m begging you, if you’re job searching right now, PLEASE know your rights. Please know what interviewers are allowed to ask. Please don’t volunteer information or elaborate more than you’re required to about personal things. Save your words (and everyone’s time) by elaborating why you’re good for the position/what you can do. I may create a resource list on this shit later but PLEASE PLEASE KNOW THIS STUFF BEFORE YOU TALK TO AN EMPLOYER. This goes for anywhere you’re interviewing as well as your current employer. This also goes for HR. HR may be the person you go to when shitty stuff happens, but that doesn’t mean they’re your friend (or competent). They don’t need to know your age (beyond 16+, 18+, or 21+, depending on the job). They don’t need to know your medical history. (For the love of god, do NOT answer the “have you been diagnosed with depression?” question.) They don’t need to know if you have kids or whatever. They don’t need to know a LOT of those things that may appear on an application, including your veteran status, whether you’re on/have been on unemployment, etc. They’re not entitled to know specifics about your transportation (unless you’re using that transportation for the job, like Uber/delivery drivers). Look this up for your state/the job’s state. Beware questions like “What year did you graduate?” if you’re like me and don’t put dates on your resume (I just put amount of time spent at employers, not dates of employment). They’re fishing for your age. It’s “Oh, you know, 100 years ago,” if you feel comfortable making a joke, or “About [generic number, like 5 or 10] years ago” if not. Also beware things like the “What do you do in your free time?” question, even if you already work there. This is not a friendly getting-to-know-you question. This is a basis for judgement. Not up to an invisible standard? They’re going to be biased against you for pay raises, promotions, etc. Mention kids/lots of family/social engagements? That’s a tick against you for not being the kind of person who lives to work (yes, it’s gross and stupid). Mention lots of solitary things? Cool, that’s their mental note to ask more from you because you’re “not doing anything anyway.” By all means, be friendly with your coworkers/talk about shared interests if you want, but it is none of your boss’s business, and be aware what could get back to them.  Don’t. Tell. Employers. Shit.

[antifainternational]

Killings by Police Declined after Black Lives Matter Protests

A study also found body-camera use and community policing increased in places with the most active movements

[anarchopuppy]

The thing that stops cop killings is making it so whenever they start to reach for their gun, they stop and question whether it’s worth another few months of long stressful hours fighting back protests in the heat, getting flashed in the eyes with laser pointers and having their chemical weapons lobbed back at them, instead of sitting in their air conditioned SUVs at speed traps

That’s part of why we do this. So that every death costs them. Make them scared of the aftermath