Okrr!

A gay nerd living life in the American Midwest. I tend to reblog cute cats, things that make me laugh, and pretty much anything that interests me or catches my eye. The occasional selfie and/or nsfw post may happen, so please no minors.

[stonelions]

he thinks he's being so smooth with his little face on my leg. i SEE you, villain

[internetgreatesthits]

[godkissedme]

High in the kitchen doing bullshit

[creamsicle-art]

me when therse apple slices at the function

[amazoogle]

i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead

i can't have that. i won't let that happen. what they could have never predicted is that a beautiful woman named Peni Sausage is about to log on

[tyronepowerbottom]

couldn't sleep, so I put on an episode of Twin Peaks................... um

it actually is Thursday the 23rd

[chillyfeetsteak]

ricardo diseno

[mellowmaidenhairs]

WITH MY KEY I (LOCK IT)

[desk-drawerr]

He eat a nemon

[chantssecrets]

Hans Bellmer, "Self-Portrait", 1971

[miseria-fortes-viros]

they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

[miseria-fortes-viros]

WASHING THE FUCKING PAN AGAIN!!!!!

[commoncheemes]

Your doing so good at increasing your skill stat in pan washing. I'm so proud of you. Best pan washer out there.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

this is so nice thank u….

[parkchanwoohoo]

[ahoychrispineda-deactivated2022]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I'm not going to stop

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Chop 1 onion and put it in a pot.

Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon, I'll add that too, but I very rarely have bacon.

Cook on HIGH.

While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. I've reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green.

Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese.

Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to post about spaghetti sauce on Tumblr, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

[realitys-ex]

I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Except in this case.

This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule.

Why? The spices. Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[ludmithjacques]

Absolurl I deranged, Derin. Food crimes.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I don't know what sweating the onions means

[grison-in-space]

It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

[grison-in-space]

I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

[finnegeanscake]

Derin who hurt you

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

[garaks-huge-naturals]

did ur mum get 2021 cruellaed

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Yeah and now I'm in a war against food. I have to hunt down and kill Remy next.

[adamsmasher]

I know it's been three years I don't think we're talking about the peas enough

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[cognitiveinequality]

[sesh]

[sesh]

[catball]

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success