Sitcom Enthusiast @oldmanminigun-blog - Tumblr Blog

wtfkane-deactivated20180422

how do i chop my tiddies off and give them to a beautiful trans girl who deserves them

wondyrwoman-deactivated20160623

My uncle’s sugar daddy is sitting next to me, showing me pictures of his cat

doctorfeliuzumaki

There are sentences I expect to read and then there’s this

qq45xx-deactivated20141028

*alien starts abducting me with their spaceship*

Me: woah woah woah. Hold on. Let me ask my mom about this first.

Alien: that's okay, take your time.

Me: thanks. *shouts* MOM, CAN I GET ABDUCTED BY THIS ALIEN?!?!

Mom: *shouts back* YEA SURE, JUST BE BACK BEFORE DINNER!!

Me: aight man. She said it's cool.

Alien: cool

anotherwellkeptsecret

pet owner: *hears noise*

pet owner:

hysterichronicles

Me

animals-are-other-nations

dalmonite

“These are my children.”

“They look nothing li—”

“LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE.”

daysofstorm

for some reason I really like that she’s called Hilda.

roddaprime

This happened on my grandmothers farm when my mom was little,

baby ducks act a lot like baby chickens so in the beginning it wasn’t so bad

the main problem is that baby ducks LOVE water, but baby chickens get very very dead from it,

so you can imagine the mother hens surprise and horror the first time they go by the farm pond and ALL THE BABIES RUN TO THE WATER AND JUMP IN

my grandmother had to come out of the house to investigate all the noise the hen was making

The mother hen was clucking and screeching in distress and running circles around the pond while the duckies were having the time of their lives.

This happened a few more times before Momma hen was like FUCK IT YOU WANNA SWIM SEE WHAT I CARE , and would sit a distance away watching them in the pond.

if the ducks ever abandoned any eggs my grandmother would always put it under that particular hens nest cause from then on she always knew how to deal with her “water loving” delinquent children

gokuma

BEST ADOPTED MUM

pr1nceshawn

Survival Myths That Could Do More Harm Than Good.

thahalfrican

academicfeminist

Things I never knew about depression until I finally had a doctor explain the disease to me

Depression can manifest as irrational anger.

My complete and total inability to keep anything clean or tidy for any amount of time is a symptom of my depression. I may never be able to do this. It’s important that I remember that and forgive myself when I clean something out (like my car) and it ends up trashed within a week.

Depression IS A DISABILITY. Requiring accommodations is okay.

Medications don’t make you better, they don’t cure your depression. They serve as an aid. Their purpose is to help you get to everyone else’s minimal level of functioning.

Depression can cycle through periods of inactivity. This doesn’t mean it’s gone away.

The reason I don’t feel like other people understand me is because … well … other people DON’T understand me. They can’t. They don’t have my disability.

Paranoia is par for the course.

Depression can and will interfere with your physical mobility. Forgive yourself when you can’t physically do something.

It’s entirely possible that I may never be able to live by myself. I can’t take care of myself. I need help to do it. And that’s okay.

capricornhumor

pr1nceshawn

Survival Myths That Could Do More Harm Than Good.

thahalfrican

terpsikeraunos

This upcoming week is crucial. Here's how to get it done.

Topher Spiro from the Center for American Progress shared the following from inside sources last night: “Several GOP Senators have privately said this recess is the test – if they get blowback at home, they’ll tell McConnell it’s over” (link). Ben Wikler from MoveOn then went on to confirm this as well, stating that “I’ve heard this from two additional sources. Make this recess count, folks. You have from now till June 5” (link).

beben-eleben

Punctuation Matters by The Visual Communication Guy

thewrittenmagic

I’ll never understand writers who don’t care about punctuation. It adds control, clarity, meaning, and variety.

saramcclarinet

My English major ass appreciates this so hard 👌🏻🙌🏻

writing-prompt-s

You have a reputation for being horribly indecisive. In truth, you’ve been cursed with the ability to see every possible negative outcome of every choice you make, no matter how minor.

roses-and-ivy-deactivated201801

Oh boy let me tell you a thing about anxiety

bassiter

while looking up 1950s slang, i found the phrase “come on snake, let’s rattle,” which has 2 meanings: asking someone to dance, and challenging someone to a fight

and. hhhooooooooo boy does that fact have some Potential

steampunkepsilon

Invite your crush to the dance floor, but instead they just fuckin deck you

terriblecac-moved

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.