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Cosimo Galluzzi

titsay

oozey mess
Misplaced Lens Cap
YOU ARE THE REASON

JBB: An Artblog!

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i don't do bad sauce passes

Discoholic đȘ©

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Show & Tell
I'd rather be in outer space đž
hello vonnie
Sweet Seals For You, Always

â

pixel skylines
Cosmic Funnies

#extradirty
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@oliviawaite
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hudson williams the first person on buzzfeed thirst tweets to out-freak the tweets (x)
BONUS:
-_- apparently the cut-off for this thing I want to submit to (which closes tomorrow) is 70k words, and Iâve got 67k
I need to think of three thousand words of bullshit to pad this thing. like a chapter where everyone goes for coffee, or something.Â
okay there are 42 chapters in the book, and dividing 3000 by 42 = ~72
so Iâd have to write the chapter titles like this:
Chapter 2: In Which an Elf Is Concussed, but itâs Not Really My Fault Because What Would You Have Done? Would You Not Have Concussed the Elf? No, Of Course You Would Have. We All Would Have Concussed the Elf. Besides Which, I Am Very Sorry for Concussing Her and Will Try to Make Amends Later If She Stops Trying to Kill Me. Also, Her Intent to Kill Me Was a Highly Relevant Factor In My Decision to Concuss Her
and who will stop me? God?
TWO YEARS LATER! Titan Books is publishing this, and every chapter title takes up a third of the page. god didnât stop me after all
(you can pre-order here: Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, Amazon.co.uk, Indigo, Waterstones, Forbidden Planet, Bookshop.org)
if i told you what's happening at my retiree mom's local beekeeper association meetings you would call me a big ol liar
it's escalated to the point that one of the board members is bringing a gun today?? there is a president and a false president. everyone's lawyered up. bee lawyers
apiarttorneys
okay here is a rundown of the beekeeper association coup that I KNOW sounds made up. I swear I am reporting it as close to my understanding as possible
So there's an ongoing attempt to oust the current president and install the former president, who's been bribing members with "as much beeswax as you want" to vote in her favor. like, she's pulling in members who've been inactive for months or years with the promise of free bee products if they'll vote her way. the reason she wants to be president again after stepping down several years ago is that she isn't moving out of state like she'd hoped bc the sale of some farmland she wanted to grow her beekeeping business fell through. And now she wants to regain control of the local beekeeper group, POSSIBLY to exploit new members to work for her for free as part of a "mentorship" program. unpaid Drones, if you will.
anyway to oust the current president, some members of the board have accused him of embezzling (embuzzling?) funds from the club. Or possibly accusing him of selling honey illegally to support the club. Or possibly both. the current president was locked out of the club's Square account, but in order for the anti-current prez board members to access the account, they need his permission? but he couldn't even if he wanted to? It's a technological snafu that basically means whoever created the account in the first place needs to be located, and no one remembers who that is. Lawyers are definitely involved. lotta cease and desists are flying around. (BEES and desists?)
So now there is a schism in the club with the supporters of the current president on one side and the supporters (some of them bribed) of the former president on the other. according to the club's bylaws, they need a certain quorum of board members to vote in order to oust a sitting president or not, and since my mom is the secretary (a board position) she has refused to vote at all, which has resulted in a stalemate. Former President didn't count on her doing that, lol. she didn't even offer mom any wax or honey. that ain't how survivor is played, Lori, oh my god. seriously un-queen shit.
not that mom would take the bribe, since overhearing the negotiations for bribed votes taking place over by the coffee urn at last month's meeting. she's pro-current president all the way, I think, but she's also sick of all this backstabbing (backstinging?) and wants to create a splinter group. she's already got a name: Bees Sans Bullsh*t (with a bee in the place of the censor asterisk). she'd like to sell tee shirts
but before that can happen, the original group is calling yet another meeting for yet another vote. since there's no way for them to get to a quorum without mom, the prevailing theory is that they'll just try to illegally plow through their candidate and take over the club without any real authority. again, lawyers are involved. a royal jelly clusterfuck.
I feel kind of bad for the security team at the local community college where these meetings are being held because it IS likely violence is going to break out today and mom said she's going to sit next to "the best exit/egress" just in case
I'll let you know how it goes and obviously post a link to the tee shirt (BEE shirt) when it happens.
Cozy murder mystery but make it in space but make it knitting but make it tea but make it handcrafted cocktails but make it VIBES. This advertisement is for Murder by Memory by Olivia Waite.
WHATâS IT ABOUT:
Aboard the HMS Fairweather, Her Majestyâs most luxurious interstellar passenger liner, minds are carefully preserved in glass in the library, shielded from every danger while passengers amuse themselves for the years it takes to reach their destination. Ship detective Dorothy Gentleman is still mourning the accidental death of her beloved wife, but when she wakes up in a body that isnât hers just as someone else is discovered murdered she finds herself on the hunt for a killer.
A Tutorial On Typesetting In Affinity (With Template)
This is an semi-abbreviated guide to typesetting in Affinity Publisher, using the template I posted here.
While this is not a comprehensive tutorial, I tried to be as detailed as possible, and hope this help folks with their typesetting journeys! Note: there are different ways to to do this, these are just the ways I've used personally. (And by 'used', I mean all the features and functions I've bashed my head against till something readable came out). Second Note: these steps do apply specifically to the template I posted. This is the template I use to save time when typesetting, as it already has all the Paragraph and Character Styles and text boxes and margins I've made in previous works. Warning: wall of text below the break!
"Catherine, flustered, dropped her eyes to the page again: the attractive force between two bodies . . . All at once it was a great deal of work simply to pull breath into her lungs, and force it out again."
-Olivia Waite, "The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics"
Charles Napier Kennedy (British, 1852-1898) Perseus and Andromeda, 1890
I really like how in this painting thereâs a sense that Medusaâs head is talking to the whale and saying: âCan you even believe this asshole?â
you're safe now
shop / sticker club
i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice
Good news.
There is one.
Inspired by Letters From Watson and Letters From Bunny, which send their subscribers the Holmes and Raffles stories, respectively, please welcome Letters Regarding Jeeves, which will send you all the public domain Jeeves stories starting February 14th, 2024 - the anniversary of P. G. Wodehouse's death. And you can officially subscribe now!
Watching ancient danish movies and found this gem
Hey you! Yes you. Are you looking for a painfully sweet fucking awesome WLW fake-dating tragicomic happy-ending romance novel?? If so, read Fly With Me.
Actually, I don't care if you're not looking for a WLW romance novel - read Fly With Me anyway. I cleared it in two days it is so good I literally couldn't put it down.
Get it from Barnes and Noble, your local library, or wherever! Just get it. What are you doing still reading this go
Various WIP shots from the animation Iâm currently working on.
While Iâm on an absolute contemporary art kick, letâs talk about the Handphone Table by Laurie Anderson.
Originally created in the late 1970âs, visitors entering the exhibit room would stumble upon an wooden table, a few chairs and a photo on the wall depicting two patrons at the same table with their elbows up and hands over their ears.
Naturally most visitors would sit down at the table and try to match the people in the picture. And in doing so, they would be quite surprised to hear Andersonâs voice coming through their hands as if she was entering their consciousness.
What they didnât know was Anderson had installed a secret, special speaker inside the table that transmitted sound vibrations through solid material rather than air. That is to say, the listenersâ bones conducted her recorded voice.
It was a way for a performance artist to be invisible and yet still presentâŠinside a visitorâs head.
I stumbled upon an alternate, updated version of this artwork at the Hirshhorn, where instead of her voice, I heard her droning, experimental music vibrating up my arms and into my ears (among many talents, she is also a composer). Still just as trippy and deliciously creepy though. ;)
Love this piece of art. Saw it at MassMOCA.
Reposting B)
You can read more of my comics on Autostraddle.
It's been 1 year since the birth of she/sir, happy birthday to the genders.
Gustave Caillebotte, The Floor Planers, 1875
All hail Gustave Caillebotte, the only Impressionist who bothered to say âYou know what this art movement doesnât have enough of? Shirtless rough trade, thatâs what!â And then he became the change he wanted to see in the world, and I think thatâs beautiful.
i saw this in a museum once and i gotta go off on this for a secondâ not only is it a gorgeous display of technical mastery over light, darkness, composition, form. itâs also a slap in the face to artistic conventions at the time. at the time, you could have nudes but they had to be heroic. they had to be virtuous. 1875, parisâ art was supposed to be elevating. it was for the wealthy, it was to be uplifting, it was so everyone who commissioned the pictures could flex their classics education. okay?
so hereâs the floor planers. theyâre workmen. theyâre workmen. theyâre not some rent boy you dolled up with a helmet to be achilles or adonis. artists have been hornily painting working-class models (and sex-worker boyfriends) into their portraits forever, but youâre supposed to frame your appreciation for the male form as an intellectually irreproachable appreciation for the heroic body from literature, or, conversely you could depict the humble beauty of peasants, if you must, but it had to be a sort of ode to nature and the simple life. peasants could be art, as long as they were⊠out there, you know. in a field. being a metaphor. so thereâs your options for looking at a shirtless guy: heâs got to be mythic.
but no. look, here, at the workmen. the floor planers. the workmenâs bodies not dressed up in sandals and helmet, in flowers, on a pedestal. the workmen not employed as some distant paean to an arcadian countryside, not stacking sheaves or holding a lamb or elevating the beauty of nature. theyâre here, theyâre urban, theyâre in a room just like you might have. the workers of your world, in your home, in this reality. the male body as a very real, very nonfigurative tool, humble and employed, but still gorgeous. the beauty of the men that the patrician class pays not to see. the men who come into your mansion through the back door and work unseen and leave unseen. those men. there, right there, this painting, glowing and beautiful.
not adonis. but beautiful.
anyway at the time everyone fucking hated this picture because itâs a direct slap across the classist chops. they were BIG MAD, this was filthy, it was an affront. they hated it. the paris salon rejected it. established intellectuals didnât want anything to do with this kind of confrontation. it wasnât art.
i just love that.
like, look at those hot guys go. look at the shine on the floor and the way their arms are. no virtuous framing, no classic allusions. just some regular guys making the floors nice for a rich fucker who never laid eyes on them at all. but here they are: look at them.
theyâre still beautiful.
Obligatory B&N Preorder alert!!!!
Members get 25% off on preorders today thru Sept. 8. That's a big percent! And since SECOND CHANCES IN NEW PORT STEPHEN is coming out in December, it's part of the sale.
I didn't even know you could preorder books before I became an author, but NOW I'm very smart and attractive and understand that preorders are The Thing that helps authors the most. Wherever you preorder from, it sends a message both algorithmically and humanly to the bookstore that says "there are people in the world who literally cannot wait to give you money for this book that isn't even out yet."
That's a powerful message! That's the difference between my books being put on a high shelf where only 7ft tall readers can find them and being put on a sweet, sweet display table. It's the difference between my books being simply posted on a website and being featured in a Best Of list. It's the difference between a bookseller being aware of my books and handselling them like mad. So if you can, PLEASE PREORDER from wherever you buy books. And if you're a B&N girlie gender neutral, this promotion is a great excuse to get started.
You just have to be a B&N member (membership is free) and use code PREORDER25. If you're a Premium Member, which sounds fancy therefore I have no idea what it means, you get an extra 10% off.
Let me know what you've preordered for the fall season!!! I'd love to know.
[Image ID: slide one: me, a white nonbinary person with glasses, visible from the eyes up behind a stack of arcs.
slide two: a graphic with the B&N sale info, 25% off starts 9/6, ends on 9/8]