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@olivilol88
Dear men:
Me when its 1 day after Halloween and the capitalists are already blasting the christmas sale commercials
"So much stuff!"
whatâs the pink they put in pink lemonade that makes it so poppin
thatâs pussy babe!
I am creating upsetting spells in my fucked up wizard tower today
Not that I dont believe you but like, what makes the tower fucked up?
Asbestos >:)
This is how Pippin talks to Aragorn after heâs crownedÂ
once more for the people in the back
When the unlisted duties include dealing with yt people as one of the only brown people in the workplaces đđđđ
One of the most important things I learned in my Language and the Law class is that law enforcement will intentionally misinterpret every type of statement asking for a lawyer as not asking for a lawyer. Even directly saying it like this âI will not speak to you without a lawyerâ can be taken as a simple statement of fact rather than a request for a lawyer. You literally have to state âI am now invoking my right to a lawyerâ and every time they try to proceed with an interrogation you have to answer every question with âI am invoking my right to have a lawyer presentâ. You canât just tell them you wonât talk without a lawyer or that you want a lawyer. You have to state that you are invoking your rights. Otherwise they could just say âwell they just said they wouldnât speak without a lawyer present. Thatâs not invoking their rights to a lawyer. Itâs just stating a fact.â even just stating your right to a lawyer doesnât count!
PLEASE share this addition. I am a lawyer who works in criminal defense, and this is one of the most avoidable things that people consistently get wrong about the Miranda rights.
Here are some more âambiguousâ phrases which courts have found DO NOT invoke your right to a lawyer:
âMaybe I should speak to my lawyer first.â
âI might like a lawyer.â
âI think I should have a lawyer present for this.â
âCould I speak to my lawyer first?â
âHow long until my lawyer gets here?â
And perhaps most egregiously â âGet me a lawyer, dawg â âcause this is not whatâs up.â
Here are the magic phrases which you need to know if you want to invoke your Miranda rights:
1) âAm I free to leave?â
Itâs worth asking this even if the answer is obvious. Even if the officer does not let you leave, by forcing them to admit that you are not free to leave, you are creating a record which your attorney can use to prove that you were in custody. Miranda rights only apply if the interrogation is custodial, meaning that police officers will frequently claim that their suspects were ânot in custodyâ to get around their Miranda rights.
2)Â âI am invoking my right to remain silent.â
Simply staying silent will not invoke your right to remain silent. As absurd as this is, you must explicitly say that you are invoking your right to remain silent in order to invoke that right.
3)Â âI am invoking my right to an attorney.â
As stated above, you must be not only clear and unambiguous, but clear and legally unambiguous. Donât get cute. Donât get sassy. And on the flip side, donât get intimidated and use verbal ticks to minimize your request. Say the line with those words exactly â say it clearly, and say it once, and then say nothing else.
Because even after youâve done all this, the police can still try to get you to talk. Theyâre not supposed to interrogate you, but theyâre allowed to make casual conversation, and if that conversation just happens to circle back around to the thing they wanted to question you about, well, thatâs really your fault for talking after you said you wouldnât, isnât it? Canât possibly fault the poor officers when you initiated â if you really wanted to have your rights respected, you wouldnât have talked to them in the first place.
The police know this, and they will mercilessly exploit this loophole. So, once youâve successfully invoked your Miranda rights, any and all conversation you have with police officers will put those rights back into jeopardy.Â
Putting it all together:
Ask: âAm I free to leave?â
If they say no, say:Â âI am invoking my right to remain silent and I am invoking my right to an attorney.â
And then shut up and do not say a single thing to them for any reason whatsoever until you have actually spoken to an attorney. Yes, even if it takes hours. Yes, even if they start talking to you about something else.
Finally, a very important disclaimer:
I may be a lawyer, but Iâm not your lawyer, and I cannot guarantee that what Iâve just laid out here will always work for every situation. We didnât get to this bizarre and absurd place overnight â we built this ridiculous system piecemeal, by deciding on a case-by-case basis that certain phrases were âtoo ambiguousâ or certain types of questioning werenât actually questioning at all. The law is still in flux, and is still fundamentally out to get you, and willing to bend plain meaning beyond all recognition to do it. Even if you invoke your rights perfectly, exactly as I have specified above, thereâs a chance that your invocation of rights will be disqualified on some new technicality that no oneâs even thought of yet â and thatâs precisely the problem.
Watch this video: âDonât Talk To The Policeâ
I am begging my followers to please watch this video from start to finish. I know itâs long, but it is incredibly valuable information that everyone needs to know, especially if youâre involved in any form of activism.
Every single cop lies. Every single cop lies and manipulates and twists the situation around to get a confession. Even when they know that the person is innocent, even when they know that what they have isnât enough to convict someone, even when they know that that confession has been made under duress or manipulation. All they care about is getting anything to put someone behind bars.
It doesnât matter how eloquent or innocent or experienced you are. Do not talk to cops.
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.
You also have a right to legal advice, for free, in a police interview in the UK. The Crown Prosecution Service (or the Procurator Fiscal in Scotland) must provide one for you. Minors also have the right to an appropriate adult (parent, carer, social worker etc): if arrested A MINOR CANNOT LEGALLY BE INTERVIEWED IF AN APPROPRIATE ADULT IS NOT PRESENT. (A cop does not count as an appropriate adult because they are not there to advocate for you. Theyâre there to advocate for themselves.)
âŠThatâs the night that the lights went out in Georgia
Thatâs the night that they hung an innocent man
Well, donât trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer
âCause the judge in the townâs got bloodstains on his hands
~ Reba McEntire, The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia
The problems described above are not a problem with peopleâs behavior, they are a problem with the courts.
When the courts interpret âgive me a lawyer, dogâ as not asking for a lawyer, there is a problem either with the particular judge in that case, or with the court system as a whole.
Given the brokenness of the system, it makes sense to inform people to change their behavior, but this is not a full solution. The full solution is, if itâs a problem with isolated judges, to remove those judges, and if that is difficult to do, to make it easier to remove problematic judges. And if itâs a deeper systematic problem with the whole system then the solution is to reform the system such as by changing how people become judges, perhaps clarifying the law and perhaps enacting some sort of stricter penalty to lawyers who make such bad-faith arguments as described above.
I am not comfortable with a society in which a lawyer who makes a serious argument in a courtroom that âgive me a lawyer dogâ is not asking for a lawyer, being allowed to continue to practice law.
Lawyers have a high-paid, privileged profession. That sort of behavior is such an extreme stretch that it shows bad faith, it shows the desire to stretch the law and the truth so far as to have unconscionable outcomes.
And it is unconscionable to me to allow a person who would do that, to be allowed to continue to practice law (and enjoy the privileges, such as the high social status and salary, that come with it, while the people negatively affected by their actions suffer.)
Iâm skeptical of the common claims that there are particular things that, if you say them verbatim to a cop, will mean you canât be denied the legal protections the courts have already shown themselves so willing to disregard. It reminds me too much of sovereign citizensâ claims that if you write your name a special way and use very particular language in court you can be exempted from the law.
Further, given just how little training police receive, I would not expect them to actually know the special phrases that they arenât allowed to ignore, much less follow them.
tagging @isaacsapphire because I suspect theyâll have some insight into this.
The magic phrases to use with the police arenât primarily to make the police behave a particular way, theyâre setting up the situation for your lawyer to be able to kick their asses later in court.
âAm I being detained?â is not going to make the police treat you better in the moment. Itâs to establish that you are in fact in police custody at that time, or alternatively that you legally are permitted to leave, for your lawyer to be able to argue later means certain other things in your favor, like your right to a lawyer (for example, there are obligations about medical care to people in custody, so if you were in custody and the police ignored your medical issue, thatâs a potential area for your lawyer to go after them on, but it has to be established that you were in custody for that to work.)
Of course, the police would prefer suspects not ask for lawyers for as long as possible, so they would prefer to not interpret anything as asking for a lawyer. So of course thereâs legal dickering about exactly what constitutes âasking for a lawyerâ legally.
âGimme a lawyer dawgâ has been established as not counting as asking for a lawyer. Probably not fair, but thatâs the rules.
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This is pretty meta
The peer reviewerâs comments are the best
I ghost-didnât-write this
and you say scientists donât know how to have funâŠ
Professional BSery at itâs finest
Lisa Kudrow and Lady Gaga in Friends: The Reunion (2021)
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That dolphin pussy stuff
the what
it's nothing, go back to bed
i like mad scientists bc i think we should all get to indulge in being gay, evil, and insufferably smart
no more of that âim gay and stupidâ nonsense im gay and smart and im building a man that will be my downfall