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@topazandteal
Most unserious animal
Heās having a pedicure
Youāre completely correct. Out of my way, able-bodied losers. Fuck you.
It's called an EZRide+ and you can learn where to find them here. They're about $1100 US as of June 2026, but you might need to buy additional parts to attach them to your chair, depending on the style of chair.
Remember to put links to products like this, they're usually hard to find and a lot of people need to know they exist.
Sound on!
I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.
Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.
It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.
It wasn't just the hoity-toity ritual magic stuff, either. Popular media often frames a fundamental opposition between the Church and practitioners of the Old Waysā¢, but on the ground, any given medieval European community's foremost practitioner of traditional folk magic was likely to be the village priest. And again, they very much were not supposed to be doing this. There were some very pointed letters going around reminding people to cut that shit out, not that we're naming any names, Jeremy, and no, "if you invoke the saints first it's fine" is not going to fly with the bishop.
I feel like a lot of folks in the notes are missing a critical piece of context here because they're not clear on what the Church's official position toward magic actually was during the Medieval period.
In brief, the idea that magic is a. real and b. Satanic was not the party line for the greater part of the Middle Ages. Obviously the particulars varied both regionally and over time, but for the most part, the official position of the Church was that there is no power but God's and magic is fake. The Church's principal objection to the practices of divination, spirit-binding, etc. was that they were fraudulent, not that they imperilled one's soul. Sometimes this was even carried to the point that accusations of witchcraft would result in the accuser getting in trouble rather than the accused; after all, if your neighbour is pretending to do wizard shit, that's fraud, but if you actually believe your neighbour is capable of wizard shit, that's heresy!
The hardline "magic is the work of Satan" stance that most folks are thinking of when they think of magic and the Church wasn't particularly widespread until very late in the Medieval period, and is really more characteristic of the post-Reformation era ā which adds an extra layer of hilarity to the aforementioned local clergy doing wizard shit, because from the perspective of their superiors, the problem was less "oh no, our priests are consorting with Satan" and more "god fucking damn it, our priests keep scamming people with this wizard shit".
The Catholic Church, desperately penning their 500th letter to local clergy:
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP TELLING PEOPLE MAGIC IS REAL
The really funny part is that, by all accounts, some of the priests involved didn't even want to be doing wizard shit. Allegedly, they more or less got pressured into it by their congregations, who expected wizard shit of them and wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
I've been summoned by @artielu to vet this post, and I'm happy to confirm that it is, in fact, fairly accurate and does represent many of the ways in which medieval people did (and did not) think about gender, witchcraft, religion, magic, and practice. I've written quite a bit on this topic before, probably back when I was teaching a class on magic and the supernatural in the Middle Ages, but it's been a while.
The boring stereotypical Bad Middle Ages take is that medieval people were all howling misogynists and thus were burning Female Witches (and also midwives, out of an idea that medieval people saw all female-led intellectual practice as inherently bad, which is also uh, questionable) at the stake left and right. As I have carped about many times, Witch Trials (TM) as most people think of them were decidedly an early modern invention. The idea of witchcraft as both a) real and b) specifically and evilly female was also in fact a very late medieval invention; it was most explicitly codified in the infamous Malleus maleficarum of 1485. However its author, Heinrich Kramer, was already a raging misogynist and had been chased out of his parish the year before when for some reason, people got tired of him randomly accusing their wives and daughters of witchcraft. The Malleus is well known as a "witch hunting handbook," but people then tend to generalize its late 15th-century conclusions, written by one tiresome misogynist, as completely representative of The Middle Ages Everywhere. The Malleus also contains some anti-sodomitic polemicals, so there are just a whole stew of gender, queer, and other anxieties being represented here in a late medieval context. See i.e.:
Bailey, M. D., āFrom Sorcery to Witchcraft: Clerical Conceptions of Magic in the Middle Agesā, Speculum, 76 (2001), 960-90.
Bailey, M.D., āThe feminization of magic and the emerging idea of the female witch in the late Middle Agesā, Essays in Medieval Studies 19 (2002), 120-134
Broedel, H.P., 'To preserve the manly form from so vile a crime: ecclesiastical anti-sodomitic rhetoric and the gendering of witchcraft in the Malleus Maleficarum', Essays in Medieval Studies 19 (2002), 136-148
Broedel, H.P., The Malleus Maleficarum and the Construction of Witchcraft: Theology and Popular Belief (Manchester: Manchester University Press, 2003)
Harley, D. āHistorians as Demonologists: The Myth of the Midwife-Witchā, Social History of Medicine, 3 (1990), 1-26
Katajala-Peltomaa, S. āA good wife? Demonic Possession and Discourses of Gender in Late Medieval Cultureā, in Gender in Late Medieval and Early Modern Europe, ed. by M.G. Muravyeva and R.M. Tovio (New York, NY: Routledge, 2013), pp. 73-88
Stephens, W., āWitches who steal penises: impotence and illusion in the Malleus Maleficarumā, Journal of Medieval and Early Modern Studies 28 (1998), 495-529
It's true that some of the most dedicated practitioners of ritual magic, and scholars and conservationists of magical texts, were monks, churchmen, and other religious figures. Some of them started from the position that God possessed the only supernatural power and any claim of other magic was wrong, but many others did believe that magical power was accessible from a variety of sources, even as this interacted uneasily with related notions of heresy, religion, blasphemy, and (demonic) sin. This represented the complex and shifting interaction between institutional Catholic and traditional/folk magic beliefs, which were never fully assimilated or "erased." It was in fact also popular among laypeople, as magical amulets or charms were highly valued for their supposedly protective capacities. Magic and ritual magic was also widely used in medicine and yes, for sex (people have always been people etc. etc.). See i.e.:
Bailey, M. D., Battling Demons: Witchcraft, Heresy and Reform in the Later Middle Ages (University Park, PA: Pennsylvania State University, 2003)
Boureau, A., Satan the Heretic: The Birth of Demonology in the Medieval West, trans. by Teresa Lavender Fagan (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago, 2006)
Collins, D., ed., Cambridge History of Magic and Witchcraft in the West (New York, NY and Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2015)
Fanger, C., ed. Conjuring Spirits: Texts and Traditions of Medieval Ritual Magic (Stroud: Sutton, 1998)
Flint, V. I. J., The Rise of Magic in Early Medieval Europe (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1991)
Kieckhefer, R., Magic in the Middle Ages (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2000)
Kieckhefer, R. āErotic Magic in Medieval Europeā, in Sex in the Middle Ages, ed. by J. Salisbury (London and New York, NY: Garland, 1991), 30-55
Olsan, L.T., āCharms and Prayers in Medieval Medical Theory and Practiceā, Social History of Medicine, 16 (2003), 343-66
Page, S. Magic in the Cloister: Pious Motives, Illicit Interests and Occult Approaches to the Medieval Universe (University Park, PA: Pennsylvania State University, 2013)
Rider, C. āDanger, stupidity and infidelity: magic and discipline in John Bromyardās Summa for Preachersā, Studies in Church History, 43 (2007), 191-20
I could go on with quite a bit more, but the point is: there is an extensive scholarly literature on this topic, and any depiction of magical and supernatural beliefs in the Middle Ages, especially in popular media, is often the laziest imaginable shorthand for "they all hated women, thought they were witches, and burned anyone who didn't believe in the all-powerful Catholic church." Yet again, this also does vary by time period, as The Middle Ages are not one single undifferentiated block. A twelfth-century author is far more likely to scoff at the credulous fools who think magic is real or can actually compare to the power of God, whereas the early-modern authors, influenced by Kramer, will do far more of the stereotypical "witchcraft is a particularly female-gendered thing and also real, satanic, and evil." And yes, many medieval magic practitioners and enthusiasts were a) monks and the church and b) regular people, because it occupied a complex place in their belief system and was by no means simply evil. This doesn't mean that they were "more" or "less" enlightened according to the also-wildly-erroneous Scale of Perceived Human Progress, but just that they were complicated, stereotypes are stupid, and my kingdom for one (1) single nuanced, thoughtful, or remotely accurate depiction of this in medieval-themed media. The end.
heās at it again
I want to see a Thai martial arts movie shot in this guy's house where everyone keeps trying to use things in the house as a weapon but it just falls apart because it's chocolate and what's supposed to be a badass fight scene degenerates into a few helpless men sliding and flailing around in a giant messy pile of smashed desserts.
I know how the scene would end. Bad guy gets up, draws a weapon, and PANG!
There's Chocolate Guy holding the one real metal pan in the room.
That sounds like the kind of fight scene you'd find in a Jackie Chan movie.
Which, honestly, I would love to see.
That sounds like the kind
of fight scene youād find in a
Jackie Chan movie.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
this is actually HILARIOUS because both domestic rabbits and domestic cats practice dominance-related social grooming but for wildly different reasons.
if you're a rabbit, the boss rabbit is the one who gets groomed by its subordinate rabbits.
but if you're a cat... the boss cat is the one that grooms the other cats.
BOTH these idiots are going "aw yeah, it's good to be on top >:) "
my co-instructor has come up with an ingenious way of getting the kiddos to quiet down without making them sad. at the beginning of class he says "we'll play a game called puffer fish! when i say "puffer fish" then everyone has to imitate a puffer fish!" so when everyone is talking all at once and disrupting he shouts out "puffer fish!" and every single kid without fail closes their lips and puffs their cheeks quickly. there are no consequences for failing to do the puffer fish. the kids just really love the puffer fish.
š”
The principal I had in second grade came down to meet my class while we were waiting for the bus to take us on a field trip to wish us to have a great time, but naturally we're all excited about the field trip and we're all loud and rowdy as we hang out by the exit, so then he challenged us all to clasp our hands together, just sticking our index fingers up, and wiggling just our joined together index fingers WITHOUT moving the muscles in the rest of our hands and wrists. Cue about fifty six-to-seven year olds falling absolutely silent as we focused on it for the next fifteen minutes.
Shout out to Mr. Logan, the only principal I respected enough to remember the name of.
(Also I totally won that challenge)
Every time I see a picture of this 5-year-old little boy with his bunny hat and Spiderman backpack, I get so angry and my heart breaks. Incredible... simply incredibly inhuman. š¤š„ŗš”
******
It's very clear that the Felon President does not care about Americans. It's very clear that the only people that mattered to him are the ones who kiss his ass. He is not the President of all Americans. He's only the President for those who support and voted for him.
It's okay for him to say negative things about other people but if you, an American say something bad about him he will come after you. He has said it many times. It's all about retribution and revenge. He's a convicted criminal who is still doing criminal activity.
It's very clear he doesn't care. He doesn't care. He... Doesn't... Care!!!
We do not need to abolish ICE or the Border Patrol. For they have an important function in America. But, they must adhere to their function, the law, and their policies. They both have a very narrow function within the law. That is what they need to adhere to. And be held accountable for.
It's worse than that though. There are absolutely people who aren't vaccinated themselves. But many antivaxxers are. Instead, they've made their children the control group.
There's a considerable difference between a person who was vaccinated as a kid for the usual stuff, like MMR, Polio, Hep B, etc, but who doesn't get a flu shot, and one who has never been vaccinated for anything.
Not downplaying flu and covid, but they aren't the same as the illnesses kids (until recently) were routinely vaccinated for.
These are vaccinated people denying their children medical care.
And I know someone out there will preach understanding and mindfulness of antivaxxers being in a cult-like atmosphere, but I just do not care. Antivaxxers are endangering their children and everyone else. In America, there have been over a thousand cases of measles in the past year because of them. People have died because of them.
this is literally how i dance
This went from āwow thatās pretty neatā to āWTF ITS ALIVEā real quick
she did that
If I donāt reblog this Puerto Rican ass mouse assume that Iām dead.
If I donāt reblog
this Puerto Rican ass mouse
assume that Iām dead.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Lo Mai Gai (糯米鸔) or steamed Glutinous Rice Chicken is a classic dim sum dish served during yum cha. In Singapore šøš¬ and Malaysia š²š¾, one can find it in coffee shops or food courts. In its simplest form, it is just boneless chicken meat at the bottom and topped with glutinous rice š¾ then steamed. When you unmould it on a plate, the chicken would then be on the top. If you are interested in learning how to cook this, check out the video below.
Just really liked & appreciated this part.
I don't accept that toxic kind of relationship. A marriage is a true partnership of two competent adults or else it's not worth having.
Were you really disappointed? That line I drew? For asking not to act like a married couple in front of others, and for asking not to say āourā as well. Were you hurt by that? Yes.
BECAUSE THIS IS MY FIRST LIFE ģ“ė² ģģ ģ²ģģ“ė¼ (2017) dir. Park Joon Hwa & Nam Sung Woo ⢠Episode 9
It was strange. That day, more than any other words, I was comforted by those words.
BECAUSE THIS IS MY FIRST LIFE (2017) | Ep 1
It's funny because if you summarized the first two episodes of Because This is My First Life you could say, "Man wants to marry a woman because she's good at cleaning" and that would seem pretty sexist. But it doesn't feel sexist at all for the simple reason that he deeply appreciates what she does.
Because the point is that Ji-ho has been cleaning for her brother and her mother has been cleaning for her father and they are completely ignored and unrecognized and unrewarded for the labour that they do relentlessly but then See-hee tells Ji-ho that she is the best roommate he's ever had and tells her that her stress cleaning is awesome and he wants to provide her a home because she makes his life easier. And it's like, that's how this is supposed to work. So you could summarize the first two episodes instead as "Man rediscovers a centuries old social contract but actually wants to do it properly."
Mix in Ep 3 where "Woman offers marriage to man because he feels very safe" and you are reaching a whole new understanding of how low the bar really is for men. Ji-ho is willing to marry a guy, without love, because he offers her a safe and warm home and because he's displayed very basic decency multiple times and I really wish I couldn't completely identify with that feeling. She just needs a safe place to sleep and he is safe.
The bar is so, so low.