Sânge

Doar ce curge prin fiecare dintre noi

[omcusange]

NoFap Challenge Day 3(accidentally skipped)

Nothing much today. Had an erection but nothing serious. I think I might be happier overall. It seems rather quick but the day is not over, only 19:27. We'll see.

Nothing much happened. I'll go to sleep now. I feel like this is easier than I expected. I tried to go 3 days once and it was unbearable. I was all the time, constant erection. It might've been from stress or a lot of shit going on. Now that I have stuff more planned out it's way more manageable.

[omcusange]

NoFap Challenge Day 5

I'll be short. I didn't cum so I'm still in the game. But I did fap it for 30 seconds.

I really don't know how to make it stop. I'm texting with this girl and my dick is out of control.

I actually took my own advice and washed my dick every time there's precum on it. But damn is it slippery. The thoughts are more common. The erections are harder and last a little but they are common as well.

This day sucks. I'm not planning to relapse but I don't like that it kinda controls me.

In public I have no problem. But when home alone it fuckin sucks

I went for a run. Talked with the girl, horny. Fuckin hell.

Soo, I video chatted with that girl aaand yeah blue balls. They suck. But as much as that girl eyyyyy. No she's a sweetheart, I her and all that, but this post is not for getting and talking with girls(well not directly), it's about fapping, and it's really hard now no pun intended. My testicles hurt like hell, my dick is hard all the time and the precum is everywhere, I have to wash my dick every hour.

This challenge felt easier at day 2-3 but now it's showing its colors.

I wish to everyone to try this, more so men who are stimulated easily, it's a way of knowing yourself and seeing your limit. If you can't go 10 days then at least do that more often and increase with a day every time. I'll probably fail(based on how I'm feeling now), there might be a horniness curve that goes high in the beginning and fades away. I'm pretty much horny all the time when I talk with this girl(which is a good thing) and I hope I can at least hold in untill I get with her. It's only 6 pm now so I'm not closing now but the day is pretty much over as far as risk of fapping goes.

I sexted with her, and we had fun, the interesting thing is that I went to sleep flaccid. I found that very odd.

[omcusange]

NoFap Challenge Day 4

So I woke up and all was good. And I found myself humping the couch. Like damn. All nice and games and now this turns up. I gotta be more careful

It's 13, had school and shit. Now I'm thinking about my porno choices. I hope I don't get fucked here.

Today is really hard. My dick feels better than ever, I went to the bathroom and I wanted to piss. I was a chub more or less. And i had lots of precum because I was excited today, and I thought "let me fap a few times to see what it feels like" and I went at it, really quick and it felt so fucking good. Now I gotta make sure that if I have precum on my dick I need wash that shit first thing. It really lubricates everything and makes it feel really good, on top of my penis being very sensitive. I really hope I can have sex soon so the urge can go away for a while.

Stressful day.

Cya.

[omcusange]

NoFap Challenge Day 2

Interestingly enough, I didn't wake up with an erection today.

It came after but it was manageable.

I'm feeling more confident now, but it's still the beginning.

Yesterday I forgot to mention but I went out with some friends and had some drinks and played a card game. I didn't even get the chance to think about masturbating. Which might be the secret to doing this challenge successfully.

Surround yourself with people. That should be a pretty good reason not to fap(obviously).

This is more like a log than a journal I think.

I write at different points in the day so the information doesn't have a steady flow and it might be hard to read. I'll try to write more less times. Now it's 9 in the morning. And I gotta go to school.

It's about 17 and I didn't feel any urge today. I had multiple erections but they were more or less international. I'm texting with a girl and I'm getting hard and stuff but it's not uncontrollable. So far so good.

About 8 pm, no considerable urge, I did give it a thug when I was in the shower tho but nothing serious.

I might get a girlfriend tho. Like the urge transformed into confidence to get women. Or this maybe from the whole self control thing. I feel in control now. And maybe that gives of a few good vibes

[omcusange]

NoFap Challenge Day 1

Today, like most men, I woke up with an erection. But because yesterday I made that decision it felt a bit different, like a thing was trying to convince me to do it. I snoozed my alarm once from 6 am to 6:10 am and I went to make my coffee. I feel normal for now, I'm waiting for the first hard crave or sexual impulse to write about it. I have a feeling that the first few days are the hardest. Mediations from Marcus Aurelius said something about strong people showing abstinence, I'll try to that to feel good about myself, me being an introvert, this might help my overall confidence. This could be a reason the fap community praises this challenge, most of those people are closed down and masturbating is such an isolated activity it might make it worse, so by doing this they force themselves to go out and you know...do stuff with other people. It's not about masturbating as a physical activity, it's about the mental state that it gives you.(these are 6:23 am thoughts so I might bullshiting) Now it's 9:50 and I checked a porn website because of a post on 9gag, first mistake, don't tempt yourself, kinda kept scrolling and got that thing in my chest, the urge, the scream. I kept scrolling and I said to myself "if I can scroll and exit then I'm good", not sure if it's an excuse or not, and I closed it. I realized that the habit of masturbating is caused by loneliness. When I sleep over at a friend's house for multiple days and I have fun, I never get an urge, I get an erection, but it's meaningless. Interesting. 15:08: Just felt a considerable urge, it was caused by stupid thoughts about my ex(not her fault). I need to deal with it. But the stress that came with the thought needs to be addressed.

I've decided I want to get a girlfriend. I've been talking already with someone, she might go along if I play my cards well. I'm an over-thinker most of the time, maybe through some self-discipline I might be able to reduce the thoughts. I'll try to meditate tommorrow. I went out with some friends, I had fun, I thought about my ex a time or two but all now overall Yes yes, I know I might not be over my ex. I'll see about that. There should be a solution. I’ll go to sleep. First day of the challenge completed.

[omcusange]

NoFap Challenge Day 0.

How should I even start this?

Well here I go. I’m unhappy. And all of my decisions pushed me to this point. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not depressed but I miss feeling happy for no reason and actually enjoying little things in life. So I’ve decided, a hard-reset on my dopamine levels, an extreme measure, to come(pun intended) from a daily fapper(some days a did twice the “activity” or even triple) to 0 is a pretty hard break for me to pull off. Keep in mind I didn’t go 3 days in my life without fapping (except when I was a kid obviously, started at 13 I think) .

This is an experiment, to say the least. I want to see if I can do it. If I’m in control of this body, if I can decide. I took this decision and now in the next 30 days I’ll fight(like its fucking cancer, Jesus..) the urges.

I wanted to do something like this for a long time. Not the fap part, but the controlling part. I wanted to do cold showers(like really cold) every day, but that’s a challenge for another month.

A few of my girl friends said this to me: “I didn’t need to do it”. And holy shit did I get jealous. So it came from that place mostly. I figured its a good thing for my mental health but as for the physical I can’t really say. Studies(idk which) kinda point to mastubating as being a good thing for the body. But the self-loathing that it sometimes comes with...for me it’s unbearable.

I quit smoking a year ago, fairly easily, I even felt guilty for how simple it felt. But I’ve been studying smoking for long before I decided to quit. I understood every angle of how addiction works for me and I can only hope that those experiences help me in this new adventure.

You should know a few surface things about me. I’m a white, european male, studying Computer Science in Romania, currently 20, looking to make my life 10 times better. I like light philosophy and coding(not the best combo but hey..). Not the best reader out there but I might change that in the coming month. And as you can tell, a bit of a control freak.

This is a journal, this is for nobody but me, to keep my thoughts in order, to push for another day, like, I’m not gonna fap to publish my feelings tomorrow. You’re free to read it, maybe it helps you. If you’re going through something similar please share you’re story, I’d like to read it.

[sinsandthoughts]

Ai iubit atât de intens, ai sperat atât de mult şi ai sfârşit cu nimic.

[ganduridenoaptiitarzii19]

“Acuma cand ma gandesc la tine, ma simt dezamagita. Ce trist…”

—

[omcusange]

DOR

Mi-e dor Mi-e dor de buzele tale Alea roșii și mari Trimise pe insta, acu e jale Ochii ăia caprui, tari Mă străpung și n-am ce să spun Da, mi-e dor și de ei Mi-e dor de cand mă uitam Și uitam mereu ce spuneam

Mi-e dor de râsul tău Când s-a oprit am zis că sunt în hău Mi-e dor de corpul tău Da, deloc surprinzator Mă incit ca un copil, e arzător

Dar toți vrem ce nu putem avea Cred ca asta ma tine sa mai iubesc candva Să caut iar buze ca a ale tale Să caut iar ochi clipitori ca niste petale

O ființa porno și gingasă în același timp Sunt aventurier cu un scop de film Filmul vieții mele stă nedifuzat Dar e ok că si așa e cam scurtat Astept să scot material să aveți ce vedea Dorul unui copil nu e tocmai intriga.

[omcusange]

Univers și țară

Univers retardat Încontinuu bombardat De omenire e stricat De idei împachetat

Cand el vrea doar haos Fără omenescul repaos Ne batem cu entropia Bunicii înca țin via

Nu stim să ne ajutăm Când în greu ne aflăm Cosmosului nu-i pasă Daca ai ceva pe masa

Pare ca nici guvernului Iar tu îi juri solemnului Că mergi la meeting Cu tricouri fără fitting

Iar noi ne revoltăm Dar planeta n-o reparăm Nici strada dacă tot zic Că tot Pământ e, dar nu-i nimic.

Copii tăi rămân cu tot Iar noi lingem compot In 5 milioane explodăm Noi vom fi deja în somn

Uitați de nepoți si de stră-nepoți Dar hai să batem în clopoți Că poate iși amintește un ceva Că a trăit aici un om cândva.

[omcusange]

Sfat in dragoste

Când cauți iubire, pescărește vorbind, aruncă cu undița nu cu plasa.

[omcusange]

Pentru un Ex fara conexe.

Încă ma gândesc daca sa sa scriu despre noi Dar pot sa scriu de ceva ce ne conține pe amândoi

Pot scrie despre viata E frumoasa dar câteodată greată Cand stau si ma gândesc la cat e de creață

Visam la miliarde fara petarde Vrem iubire fara întreținere

Vrem sa ne prostim cu 10 pahare de vin Dar pe gaura pistolului nu ne uitam Ca dacă tragi nu mai e asa de sublim

Cel mai incet glont din lume Tot trece prin tine dar macar poti sa faci glume

Viața care face ce vrea cu piața Cerere si oferta poate ai auzit Pretul creste si scade în funcție de audit Însă piața neagră sta dedesubt așteptând Ca tu sa cauti ceva ieftin si să faca boom

Condiția omului e bine definită Pacat ca suntem doar o maimuțică Batem din chimvale Fara sa gandim o luam o vale

Dar tot odata sunt mulțumit De iubire, de durere si tot ce am pățit Cand oi sta pe pat sa mor Stiu macar ca n-o sa fie de dor

M-am nascut in lumea asta E deja de ajuns Ce sa ceri cand esti străpuns De minunăție si de frumusețe, In jur vad sprijin pe fețe

Ma voi putea baza mereu Cand cad jos si imi va fi greu Simt ca ma tot repet Dar asa e si viața, hai mai bagam un pet.