Welcome to the Shit Show

Hi. I'm Griffin. I'm tall, tan, slim. Like a nematode. I reblog lots of anime, things that amuse me, and things that deal with equality. I don't know how to customize my blog so yeah this format is kind of really shitty :/been 25 for 5 years

[catchymemes]

[retrodynamics]

This is the funniest exchange in the manga

[kylieminvogue]

COLUMBO S8E4 - "Grand Deceptions"

[oneterabyteofkilobyteage]

original url http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Andes/3969/

archived on 2009-04-28 08:06:50

[manipulated-pieces]

LOTS of cutie little graphics on this one

[anywhoozles]

[mens-rights-activia]

[mens-rights-activia]

I would like to note that I left flowers for her afterwards, just as a “sorry for using your grave for content”

[grahamkennedy-deactivated202411]

“Australia Day” is almost over and I haven’t even seen the photo of Burnum Burnum planting the Aboriginal flag on the cliffs of Dover and claiming Britain for the Indigenous people of Australia on my dash yet

[batshit-auspol]

May, 2019: Minister Angus Taylor forgets to switch to his alt account before commenting praise on his own Facebook status

To this day, Angus cannot post on social media without being flooded with comments reading "Fantastic. Great Move. Well done Angus."

Follow for more Batshit Moments in Australian Politics

[batshit-auspol]

Pleased to announce this guy just became the leader of the opposition in Australia, and the comments on instagram did not dissapoint

[depsidase]

[afloweroutofstone]

[wreegis]

there was an incident at work today

[luckykittycolor]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[cheaphalloweencostume]

*dirty talking* you’ve been a very bad boy and im just going to straight up kill you now

[cheaphalloweencostume]

hey the 400 people in the notes with boners is everything okay at home

[onlytiktoks]

[piedude]

[livethroughtthis]

Fiona Apple wearing suit of armor on a subway by Joe McNally

[strange-aeons]

Literally gonna be me omw to dashcon

[guooey]

themessangerpigeons

[guooey]

Tears