Obsessions and puns

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me (2013 tumblr) [was known as ravenflawuniverse a literal decade ago]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

imagine living somewhere flat….with like……almost no hills…..what do you guys do for fun get picked off by birds of prey or

[targetedknowledge]

[redstonedust]

being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.

being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.

[everest-81]

Come on

[nikoisme]

he said he should have a cowboy hat so i gave him one

[64mpg]

what do you mean my childhood affected me

[64mpg]

i have terrible news

[shrimpleasthat]

German Summer Gothic

The weather forecast says a heat wave is coming. It’s never been this hot before, you feel like taking off your entire skin. The Thermostat says it’s 23 °C. The basic rules of modesty do not apply anymore. You get as naked as you can possibly afford at all times. Can you wear a bikini top and boxer shorts to university? Your professor does. Flip Flop. Flip Flop. Flip Flop. You turn around to see if someone is following you. No one in sight. You walk a little faster. Flip Flop. Flip Flop. They’re almost here. You sit next to a stranger on the bus. Your thighs are touching. When you try to get up for your stop, you cannot move. The stranger is staring out of the window, but you can’t see their face in the reflection. Your upper legs have fused together and it will only be a matter of time before one of you consumes the other. It’s 36° and it’s getting heißer. Life doesn’t feel hard at all. It’s getting heißer and heißer. You try to turn off the radio, but as soon as you turn your back to it, it’s 36° again and it’s getting heißer. The Klimaanlage in the Deutsche Bahn is broken. It’s always been broken. You’ve heard people say there is a single car where it works, but it’s never the one you’re in. The doors of the Tram open and 50 hungry lungs breathe in in unison. You don’t hear anything but the rattling over the Weichen until the next stop. You didn’t know you could hold your breath this long. You come home to find all of your shoes have been replaced with Flip Flops. Even the Sandalen you put on your own feet this morning have transformed while you were out, it seems. Or did you put them on? You can’t remember. There’s no answers. You wake up to the sun shining in your face. It’s 4 am and your window is on the north side of the house. Mom asks you to mäh the Rasen. You are sure you did it yesterday, but you also feel your nostrils longing for the smell of frischgeschnittnem Gras. How long has it been since you’ve eaten anything? The Flutschfinger at the Kiosk is 4,50€ now.

[pankendev]

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

[victusinveritas]

[umib34]

Saw a pretty pose on Pinterest, so I drew Marcille😊

[msbarrows]

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

[prodomius]

[enki2]

[phantomrose96]

I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline

[phantomrose96]

characters: Ah, I'm so glad that's all over now :). But luckily that's done and dealt with and we can all resume our normal lives now :)

fic length: Chapter 9 out of 48

[phantomrose96]

[medievalspecs]

[memorilore]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

cultures that do an afternoon nap are OBJECTIVELY CORRECT and the world should be learning from them

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you've heard of the spanish siesta now get ready for places like Vietnam where it's commonplace to see workers pull out a mattress & take an afternoon nap on the office/store floor. very powerful way to roll. give kindergarten-style naptime BACK to the people ✊

[atompalace-official]

wash him he smely

[atompalace-official]

here’s how the other Eeveelutions react to bathtime 🛁🫧

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[syn4k]