omnium–gatherum

a collection of miscellaneous stories, conversations, or quotes heard in the realm of teaching

[omniumgatherumz]

mistake me for a student do you?

I had a meeting at the school district office at 3:45 today and as I walk into the building (at 3:40 mind you!), a man approaches me pretty abruptly and says to someone in another room, "Yeah, I got the last one- she's here."

Then he looks at me and with a pretty condescending tone says, "You're late." *I start freaking out because I was like, wait I totally have 5 minutes to spare!! And because I have this thing for being on time/early to any event. So I was like NoOoOoOO T_T

He starts leading me to a room and when I look inside, I don't see anyone in my cohort- just a bunch of mostly Asian high school students looking at me.

Then he says, "The Chinese and Japanese AP practice exam is about to start." I'm like, "What? I'm not..." And then he's like..."omg. I'm sorry. You're not here for the AP practice exam are you...you're a very young looking teacher- here for the Induction Transition meeting...?? which is riiiight down that hall..." Kbai. And then I still made it to the meeting right on time! 

[omniumgatherumz]

Student is not down to answer assessment question #17

[omniumgatherumz]

First Middle School Dance

At my first middle school dance and one of my 6th grade boys comes up to me: "Ms. C, this is the most awkward night of my life." Bahahahaha

[omniumgatherumz]

awkward moments

monitoring students work and all of a sudden one of my 6th graders grabs my leg because he thought it was the table leg 😖 

[omniumgatherumz]

6th grade plagiarism at its finest. Hyperlink, font change, different shades of black ink, vocabulary way above 6th grade level...this had it all

[omniumgatherumz]

#2

[omniumgatherumz]

eyes

6th Grade

Reprimanded a student and when I turned around he quickly made a gesture toward me- I turned back around and said, "Saw that. Don't ever do that again." Then I heard him whisper to his table mates: "whoaaaaaaa....how'd she do that?????" It's true...teachers have eyes behind their heads! Bahaha

[omniumgatherumz]

Classic 1st grade response

[omniumgatherumz]

Classic cheating in Heads Up 7 Up

[omniumgatherumz]

6th grade student was in the middle of asking for extra credit just as I happened to be putting this sign up. He read it and sat down

[omniumgatherumz]

boy who cried “wolf”

i’ve been having trouble with one of my sixth graders and his phone.

the first time i caught him on his phone, i gave him a warning

a couple days later i caught him on it again and confiscated it

his excuse - “oh but my mom is texting me - she’s in the emergency hospital”

took it anyway because i didn’t believe him and know that pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie - (ie. caught him cheating on a test earlier in the quarter - he lied when i confronted him/gave him multiple chances to be honest, then he lied to his mom about it and had his mom email me asking why i was accusing her son of something he didn’t do. i proved to her that he cheated - and that was the end of that.)

anyway, just recently caught him on his phone for a third time.

his excuse this time - “ohhh i was checking my heart rate. i have a heart condition”

took it anyway but decided to call the school nurse to double check. also called his p.e. teacher to ask if he had some heart condition. both said there were no records/he’s never mentioned anything about a heart condition.

because this was the second offense, a parent is suppose to pick up his phone at the office - lucky boy, the assistant principal has been out so he had a nice chat with the principal - which led to a call to the parent where all his lies unraveled.

i didn’t hear about that until after i emailed the kids mom saying how...i hope she was doing well considering she was in the emergency hospital a couple weeks ago and that i was concerned about her sons heart condition and how the school has no record of it - that she should update the nurse so his files could be updated. 

bahaha -.-

anyway - now all the staff knows this kid is a big fat LIAR so he probably won’t be getting away with any of his mischievous nonsense for the rest of middle school!

i don’t care if the kid hates me. it’s for his own good.

[omniumgatherumz]

social media

Student 1: Ms. C, do you have an Instagram???

Student 2: yeah! do you?! I wanna follow you! I tried looking for your account over the weekend but couldn’t find yours. I tried your first and last name and couldn’t find one with a picture of you. What’s your middle name? And your birthday? Just tell us your user name. You know we are your favorite students- let us follow you!

[omniumgatherumz]

This is convoluted nonsense.

upset parent

[omniumgatherumz]

6th grade tears and laughter

unintentionally made a kid cry/breakdown in my social studies class during an activity to teach them about legalism in China…a couple periods later, a student in computer skills class accidentally referred to me as, “mom” o_o

[omniumgatherumz]

racist 6th grader

6th grader: why didn’t you make a typing web account last night???

me: I was busy

6th grader: busy doing what?!

me: like making dinner and cleaning the house and stuff

6th grader: why were you making dinner? Why don’t you just go to yoshinoya??! because you know…you’re…yeah..

[omniumgatherumz]

young blood

5th grader whispered this to the teacher before she left this morning: Mrs. W, she looks too young- are you sure you should leave her with us???

[omniumgatherumz]

racist 1st grader

1st grade boy in my class: ms. C, why didn’t you wear your glasses yesterday? I like it better when you wear your glasses. When you don’t wear them, you look like a china girl