Omniversal Timeline Bureau

The official blog created to catch chronological criminals in their wake, and also to ensure the protection of time itself on the Internet.

[omniversaltimelinebureau]

The eternity of Time must never be compromised.

Hello. This is Æthér (pronounced “EE-there”) from the Omniversal Timeline Bureau (OTB). This post will explain more about who we are, and what we do.

Who are the OTB?

The OTB are a group of specially selected individuals from around the Multiverse to protect the chronological balance we call Time. I, Æthér, am from the universe Zygolan-2091, and after showing major contributions to Time preservation, was selected to be an OTB agent.

What does the OTB do?

The OTB preserves timelines that would otherwise be lost to its fierce, “hungry” side. There is an incalculable amount of timelines preserved since the OTB was established. The OTB also corrects chronological anomalies (or “Time Mistakes” as Non-OTB members say) and attempts to catch as many chronological criminals (or “Time Breakers” as Non-OTB members say) as possible.

What are Chronological Compromises “Time Crimes”?

The following is a list of Chronological Compromises “Time Crimes” that will land YOU a spot on our Chronological Criminal List.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO ANY TIME CRIMES.

Attempting to alter timelines to your image

Falsely manipulating Time

Attempting to manipulate the flow of Time (“Time Travel” is so normalized nowadays, isn’t it?)

Publicly destroying relics of Time (Clocks, Watches, Sundials, etc.)

Illegitimately entering another universe without proper certification

Wishing harm upon anyone involved with the OTB

Purposely causing a Chronological Anomaly

Doing any of the “Time Crimes” listed above will lead you to be put on our Chronological Criminals List.

Chronological Criminals.

@littleastrolittlestar

WE WILL NOT REST UNTIL THESE CRIMINALS PAY FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.

//Mod is Astro btw :]\\

This has been Æthér from the Omniversal Timeline Bureau, signing out, until next Time.

This is the Seal of Chronological Order. It identifies this post as a subscriber to the Time Code of the Omniversal Timeline Bureau. It assures you of high standards for the posts designed to entertain and inform you.

[omniversaltimelinebureau]

How to identify an OTB agent

1: Check to see if they are wearing the uniform as seen below.

If there are wearing and/or carrying all of the listed items above, they may be an OTB agent.

2: Look for this symbol on any of their accessories.

This is the Grand Seal of the OTB. If you see this symbol on any of their accessories, they may be an OTB agent.

3: Check for the Astronomical Infinity.

The Astronomical Infinity, which represents the weaving between the endlessness of both Time and Space, is a secondary seal used by recently recruited members of the OTB. If you see this symbol, they are a new member of the OTB.

OFFLINE, DO NOT INTERACT WITH ANY OTB AGENTS UNLESS THEY ALLOW YOU TOO.

This has been Æthér from the Omniversal Timeline Bureau, signing out, until next Time.

This is the Seal of Chronological Order. It identifies this post as a subscriber to the Time Code of the Omniversal Timeline Bureau. It assures you of high standards for the posts designed to entertain and inform you.

[omniversaltimelinebureau]

hey OTB, what's this big thing of floating glowy metal doing in my rehearsal venue? google had no answers

three of my basses touched it and evaporated on the spot, i'm very concerned. the younger sopranos want to touch it too.

thank you

- @choir-offical

After researching the timelines of the Multiverse, we were able to identify this anomaly.

What you’re describing is a Mercurial Avian from the universe Azerty-3092. The Mercurial Avian is toxic if touched, and can evaporate anything on your universe, due to its high Mercury volume.

It has adapted to Azerty-3092, not the Observable Universe, hence its acidity.

This appears to be a Chronological Anomaly (or a “Time Mistake”).

Fortunately, we have returned the Mercurial Avian back to its universe, but it’s best you clean up anything the Mercurial Avian left behind.

Mercury is toxic, after all.

Thank you for notifying us, and Thank you for your Time.

[7-eleven-offical]

Hello. This is the Omniversal Timeline Bureau.

We feel as though it is necessary to inform you that one of your employees has discovered a Chronological Anomaly (or a “Time Mistake”).

The OTB will attempt to correct this anomaly.

Thank you for your Time.

why do you feel the need to tell me??

what my employees choose to do outside of work hours is not mine to dictate. as long as theyre ok, thats all that matters.

also i appreciate that you simplified it to time mistake, i had to do less thinking that way.

[omniversaltimelinebureau]

One of your employees discovered a beast coming out of your “Slurpee” machines across the United States.

That beast belongs to another timeline.

Once again, we at the OTB will attempt to return this anomaly back to its intended timeline.

Thank you for your Time.

[littleastrolittlestar]

Astro, we need to talk.

This is the Omniversal Timeline Bureau.

Reply to this ask as soon as possible so that we can talk further about what you did to the fabric of Time.

Thank you for your Time.

OH SHOOT IT’S THE OTB D:

I THOUGHT YOU GUYS DISBANDED D: D: D:

[omniversaltimelinebureau]

Do you care to explain this post we detected?

[littleastrolittlestar]

Uh.

[omniversaltimelinebureau]

We have no other choice but to put you on our Chronological Criminals List.

[littleastrolittlestar]

Astro, we need to talk.

This is the Omniversal Timeline Bureau.

Reply to this ask as soon as possible so that we can talk further about what you did to the fabric of Time.

Thank you for your Time.

OH SHOOT IT’S THE OTB D:

I THOUGHT YOU GUYS DISBANDED D: D: D:

[omniversaltimelinebureau]

Do you care to explain this post we detected?