mermaids and swallows. @onceinwonderland - Tumblr Blog

prisonhannibal

Magneto: Are you interested in joining my team of mutants fighting for the end of mutant oppression? :)

A mutant: sure what’s it called?

Magneto: the brotherhood of evil mutants

Mutant: w

Mutant: why’s it called that

jakemorph

like you all wouldnt be hyped as fuck to join a gay rights club called the “brotherhood of evil gays”

xplainthexmen

…

this is an exceptionally valid point.

bittersuggestion

Stop romanticizing the moon

exymas-deactivated20161227

she’s my mom and i would die for her

poseidont

a concept: future jake and amy having a kid BUT amy goes into labour on halloween and jake has to figure out if amy is cheating him out of the heist or if he’s actually about to have a kid

dizzybunnies

bold of you to assume she didnt plan to get pregnant exactly 9 months before halloween so that its actually both

mrgaretcarter

bold of you to assume it wasnt jake who planned to get her pregnant exactly 9 months before so she’d be thrown off by contractions

mrgaretcarter

bold of all of us to assume Holt didn’t pick an exact date to compliment them both so they’d have validation horniness so that jake AND amy were in disadvantage during the heist

disregardcanon

Holt: your heteronormative lifestyle choices will bring about your demise

#this is the best

tianasweets

kreolemami

best animation of all time don’t @ me bitch

rednightmare18

You know when you can just tell the artist/writer behind a scene has actually been in love before, and then again when they really haven’t? This one has.

francisxie-deactivated20200628

i draw my own shtpost

#oh yeah I'm an ass lady

hufflepuffslytherinlove

Slytherin: Say you love me.

Hufflepuff: Magic word?

Slytherin: Please.

Hufflepuff: I love you.

Slytherin:

Slytherin: ‘Kay.

#LIZ these are so great #so happy to love all the hufflepuffs

hogwartshousefriends

Hufflepuff: Just be yourself. Say something nice. Slytherin: Which one? I can’t do both.

helly-watermelonsmellinfellon

To Be a Slytherin...

hufflepuffslytherinlove

Slytherin: To be in Slytherin… you must-

Gryffindor: Hate and discriminate against anyone who isn’t pureblooded.

Ravenclaw: Be evil and bent on world domination.

Hufflepuff: Bully everyone you see because they are worthless peasants compared to you.

Slytherin: I was just going to say ‘know what you want and fight for it’. And people say I’m harsh. What do your statements say about you?

hogwartshousefriends

Hufflepuff: Slytherin and I thought you should know that we’ve been dating. Gryffindor: For how long? Slytherin: Two months. Ravenclaw: *slides Gryffindor four galleons*

#LMFAOOOOO

pr1nceshawn

The Best ATM Withdrawal Defense

alexanders-archives

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!

urocyonfox-deactivated20210104

My land lady is a 90lb 88 year old woman with 5 full grown Rottweiler boys. They sit around her when she gardens and watch her like the secret service. If you show up to pay rent they all stand up and stand between you and her.

It’s intimidating to have 5 pony size boys all staring at you until she stands up realizes it’a you and walks to you.

My favorite part is she wades through them like swamp water saying in her cute old voice ‘move’ ‘move please’ and each one she nudges to move wags his whole body at her touch and stumbles out of the way like he’s been knocked over by a truck. It gives me life paying my rent.