The 6 stages of friendship for writers
How do you write friendship? How do you make it realistic? How do you know it’s time to unlock their secret sharing and mutual trust? There are no rule for that, but here goes a small guide to help you write and develop a friendship.
But, before anything, this guide is not a rule, just an example.
Stage 1: For now, they share nothing but the current location, event or activity that brought them together, for example, work, school, sport, rock concert, a zombie apocalypse… They talk mostly about the location, event or activity. They also have a first impression of each other, sometimes (most of the time) a very negative first impression. So, in stage 1 we have small-talk, first impression and one thing in common.
Stage 2: They find something else in common, maybe both characters love horror movies, or paintball, or a song in particular. Maybe they have the same goals and duties. They will talk about it all the time. First activities might start as well, like eating together, walking home together, taking the same bus. The first impression will soften. So, in stage 2 we have common interests, changing first impression and enjoying the company.
Stage 3: After sharing their interests, and bonding, trust will start to set in. With trust comes sharing problems. People don’t usually open up their secrets out of nowhere. They usually talk about their problems, they ask for help or advice. Secrets come in the shape of problems. The more characters help each other, the faster their relationship will grow. They might share a few memories, family issues, and important information. Nicknames and inside jokes might appear as well. So, in stage 3 we have helping, problems solving, nicknames and a few memories.
Stage 4: This is the stage in which friends step up from being a good listener to being the voice of reason. They will care for each other and will speak the truth even when the other person doesn’t want to hear it. They are taking care of each other. They will hurt when the other person is in pain. They will cry. They will open their minds and soul. So, in stage 4, friends will become more like a family.
Stage 5: Friends will enter your house, open your fridge, take your food, meet your family members, sleep over. Not only problems, they share secrets as well. The other person is fully trusted. So, in stage 5 we have a more intimate approach regarding space and trust. This is the best friends forever stage.
Stage 6: Beyond best friends, they can read each other’s feelings by looking at their eyes. No words needed. They can read each other’s movements, desires, fears, expressions, voice tones, intentions, reactions… So, in stage 6, magic happens. Their souls are connected somehow. They need the other person’s company. This friendship will hardly be broken.