write it out

flynn (she/her // old // pākehā // bi)

[one-thousand-wordsworth]

pinned post

(i think you can do this right is this just a tumblr pro thing)

i will update this with links etc when i can and probably do Ye Olde Spring Clean. i spend enough time here. i want my space to be Nice to interact with.

common tags

just the funnies (shit that actually makes me laugh)

when sad (things to fight the brainworms)

writing (other people's fiction)

stories (stories about people's real lives, probably nonfiction)

disco elysium

instructions for people (socialisation tag)

eco (solarpunk, reusable, reduce consumption, etc)

textiles

artifacts

politics (generally, my politics: socialism, anticapitalism; see also, when bad things happen in the news)

news

art

animals (largely cats and birds)

[helenvaughans]

[a-book-of-creatures]

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

[eden-eden-eden-eden-eden]

Please please a strawberry for me please

[nighthaunting]

thought too hard about MRI machines today and had this come to me in a vision

[beesmygod]

mri accident is literally one of my biggest anxiety freakouts. i dont care about being in the tiny loud tube, im so scared of a secret piece of metal i dont know about in my body will tear through me like a knife through butter. what if i ate a quarter in my sleep

[neutral-wizard]

Quarters George who eats a $10 roll of quarters every night is shredded into a fine mist my the MRI

[its-grape-juice-i-swear]

TIME TO POST ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE IMAGES!!!!

Back when I worked at the hospital, I had to take MRI training and it was my favorite thing every time. It was only like 10 minutes long and went a little something like this:

Hey. The MRI is basically a really big magnet and by basically I mean it is and we literally never turn it off. It's like really big. Really really big and powerful and The Magnet is always on. We don't turn it off Ever, for any reason. We mean it bro, The Magnet is literally always on. It's crazy strong and will definitely kill you. So don't bring any metal into the MRI room, man. You will fuck up the machine (because The Magnet is always on) and then you will die (again, because The Magnet is always on). Here's some fun questions for you to test your understanding!

1) The ______ is always on.

2) The Magnet is ______ on.

3) How often is The Magnet on?

4) The Magnet is always __.

5) The Magnet is always on. T/F

6) The Magnet is usually on but we know to turn it off for you because you're a very special boy :) T/F

7) My weak fleshy body can survive the wrath of The Magnet. T/F

8) Look at this 500 lbs steel hospital bed, which The Magnet has crumpled into an origami crane. Imagine if that was you.

9) Is The Magnet ever off?

10) Sometimes we turn The Magnet off. T/F

Thank you for taking MRI training. We hope you learned that The Magnet is always on, because it is. It's on Right Now and it will be on every time you come to the MRI. Have fun and remember: The Magnet is always on!

I love you MRI training. The Magnet is always on.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Who wants to hear a DIY tiling pro tip that the experts won't tell you

[hazelriver74]

Yes!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Do not drop your phone into the bucket of tile adhesive. This step is actually completely unnecessary and massively complicates the tiling process.

[fueles]

You say this but my uncle is a tiler and he swears by the “drop phone in putty bucket” technique. I think you’re just posting this for clout

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your uncle is caught up in a tradition that he was taught as an apprentice that he never questioned. Modern putty doesn't require phone, the formula has changed.

[perfectly-disfigured]

MY uncle says some customers still demand the phone putty technique because it "doesn't look right otherwise"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Drop an empty phone case in and those customers can't tell the fucking difference because there is no fucking difference.

[lithiumdoll]

My mum renovated houses for thirty years, she says “you’re half right, but in some cases - particularly in houses built before 1930 - the phone does add some benefit. Could be a tablet too if you’ve an old one in the garage. And anyone who says it’s got to be a particular model is just being precious about it, whatever the forums say.”

[00venator]

IPhones and tablets where invented in 1898, what did they do before then?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Nothing, tiles were invented in 1899.

[ef-1]

"Friend" is an AI wearable device designed to provide "companionship + emotional support"— i.e replace human friendships. Its literally an AI chatbot that you wear around your neck. "Friend" just paid for the largest ad campaign in NYC subway history

And Every. Single. Poster was vandalised, it literally looks like some of the most beautiful art you have ever seen

[c-rowlesblogs]

Kylie Robison and Boone Ashworth of WIRED both wore these stupid things for a couple weeks and reported the kind of experiences one might expect to have with an interactive AI device invented by a 22-year-old techbro:

I Hate My Friend

The chatbot-enabled Friend necklace eavesdrops on your life and provides a running commentary that’s snarky and unhelpful. Worse, it can als

[flakeblood]

If the idea of a microphone-packed wearable that's always listening to your conversations raises privacy concerns for you, just know that you're not alone. If your experience is anything like ours, wearing the Friend will likely earn you the ire of everyone around you. Curiously, you might even end up being bullied by the chatbot itself.

-(Wired article)

Robison quickly grew to despise the gizmo. She wore the device to a party organized by AI startup Anthropic, and ended up being accused of “wearing a wire” — to her, an indication that “even at the most tech-minded gatherings, the thing was a complete taboo.”

-New AI Necklace Listens Constantly and Uses All That Data to Complain About You

[victusinveritas]

Some things about reading from around the web.

[bogleech]

I said a bit ago that "I Am Frankelda" (Mexico's first feature length stop motion film) is better than all the laika and tim burton movies it gets compared to and I mean it, have a clip and screenshots

These two characters are good guys (not a spoiler) and you will love them:

[baddywronglegs]

Slow train journeys in rural England sure are an experience. You're going ten miles and it takes a day and a half because it stops at every lamp-post and the announcement says "The next station stop is Ferretley" or something and you think "I didn't know that was a place" and you get there and it isn't

[baddywronglegs]

Last stop was literally a picket fence, enough chopped wood to build another picket fence and, briefly, a train.

[baddywronglegs]

My guy Ferretby was barely builded here

[baddywronglegs]

Two clarifications:

Ferretby's name has been changed to protect the identities of it and its resident(s)

I specify slow trains to distinguish from the other two types of train in England: Delayed and Cancelled

[elodieunderglass]

My favourites are the Halts (a halt is naturally smaller than an actual stop.) Halts are often By Request only, a fact that may dismay you, if you:

A.) do not hold obscure local knowledge about the precise local distinction of which villages and hamlets are Halts and which are Stations, or

B.) aren’t familiar enough with colloquial British English to understand that when an elderly muppet doing a comedy voice quacks incoherently in an inhuman cadence into an underwater speaker at the other end of a bus carriage full of people shouting slowly and sweatily about football, THAT was actually vital information and you needed to hear it precisely and parse it perfectly - since that single incidence of quacking was the only briefing you were going to get about the situation re: this particular Halt, or

C.) you don’t have The App (each train line has its own app. Each train line is specific to a region. Many are silent on the etiquette of halts) or

D.) the PA system in the train was broken anyway (they usually are) so you had no chance of hearing any quacking muppet announcements even if the madman in charge of the train that day felt like making any.

On a route I travel sometimes there is a Halt By Request Only, Passengers For This Halt Must Inform The Conductor Of Their Request and Move To the Front Door of The Front Carriage Only As No Other Doors Open At This Halt. This is because the Halt has a small doormat-sized platform onto which you are catapulted, and if you do not land precisely on this platform you’d be shot into the river. If you don’t negotiate properly and if you haven’t figured out where to stand, TOO BAD.

If you are at the Halt hoping to catch the train , you are expected to flag it down like a bus. Hope and courage are required. It does Not always work.

The Halt is Picturesque and not far from a station, so you can get off at the halt and enjoy many pleasant scenic walks into the town at the station, where you can eat a nice lunch and get back on a train. (Or vice versa, disembark at the station and be collected at the halt.) this would be a delightful thing to do on a visit and is recommended to visitors, who are expected to understand how this Halt operates through osmosis.

I’ve seen many sad and bewildered visitors be unwillingly shunted into a city they had no intention of visiting, after assuming that a train stop they intended and requested on the map/app/ticket was an actual train stop, and not an arcane and elaborate masquerade, a train stop by previous arrangement only

[pangur-and-grim]

"Claws like sharpened bananas shot toward me."

this sentence is

good

bad

Voting ended onJun 20

[pangur-and-grim]

ITS EVOCATIVE! LIKE GREAT BIG HUGE BANANAS EXCEPT SHARP!

[pangur-and-grim]

YOU DO IT ON ONE OF THESE! OBVIOUSLY!!!

[pangur-and-grim]

[pangur-and-grim]

a lot of people are very angry with me over this, but I'd just like you to sit down and imagine a banana. maybe a green one so it's extra firm. if you need it to be harder, you can toss it in the freezer.

and that brown end? the hard bit? pencil sharpener. or sharpened with a blade. are you following me? now, attach six of those to a harpy.

yeah. I think you're seeing the vision. you can apologize to me any time you're ready

[pangur-and-grim]

check in time:

I see the vision

it's still really bad

Voting ended onJul 11

[pangur-and-grim]

GOD DAMN IT!

[pitchdarkedge]

[ostensible-adult]

I hope this comes across as positive/complimentary: I'm reminded of the art teacher who is quoted somewhere on tumblr as saying approximately

I do not like this style. I will never like this style. ... My biggest criticism is that I merely dislike this [art project]. Make me hate it. Make me furious over how much fun you're having with this thing I hate.

You don't need that teacher's advice, though. You're already having so much fun that tumblr is furious.

[transastronautistic]

i have attempted the impossible — making banana Sharp — and i have good news and bad news

As preamble: i am one of the proud 27% who voted “good” on the first poll (didn’t see the second in time to vote). And, in fact, I found the imagery of “claws like sharpened bananas” so provocative i just had to give sharpening a banana a go (plus i remembered i threw some ripe bananas in the freezer like five months ago and thought hey, might as well! bananas, i’m sorry i failed to use you in smoothies as intended; i hope you find peace knowing you were donated to science instead. Rest In Peels.)

For my first attempt, I decided to take the easiest though least faithful-to-the-vision route first: sharpening the banana stem.

I was delighted to discover that a banana stem does fit into a pencil sharpener, so i got grinding.

And grinding.

And grinding.

Things were looking promising at first, but i rotated that thing in the sharpener for over three minutes and after a certain point, it just stopped getting sharper. I guess it became too narrow for the sharpener to like, reach?

(Pictured: the moment my wife asked me what the fuck i was doing to that banana)

But luckily my wife appeared around this time and, after expressing extreme bemusement, she acquiesced to applying her whittling skills to the task. I bestowed upon her a second frozen banana and she got to work.

What a champ.

And…it actually worked!! That bad boy was SHARP!

Like, not “draw blood easily” sharp. But yeah, if claws looking like this ^ were to shoot towards me, i’d be at least mildly afraid. That’s not nothin’ — right? right?

(I’m so good at photoshop)

But at this point i had to admit to myself the thing i’d known all along. Sharpening solely the stem wasn’t actually @pangur-and-grim’s vision.

So i tried, i really tried to sharpen the entire outer part of the banana with a knife sharpener + knife! Maybe it’s because the frozen bananas had thawed too much at this point but. it didn’t go…all that great

Then it was time for my final attempt.

I peeled one of those half-thawed nanners and shaped its soft body (which was the consistency of melty ice cream) with a combination of the knife sharpener and my bare fingers into what i hoped would be a fine point — once it re-froze.

One of them i “sharpened” the tip of; the other i tried to kinda sharpen the side of? By making a very thin ridge all along it. Because if they’re going to be claws they shouldn’t just poke people; they need to slice

Anyway that was an hour ago so i just checked on them and…

tragically, they are not sharp.

BUT i flattened them a little thinner to see if that helps, and now i’ll be patient for once in my life and wait to check on them till morning. Maybe being fully frozen will help

So yeah! The good news is you CAN sharpen a banana stem and that’s gotta count for something. The bad news is that sharpening the actual body of the banana has proven much more challenging.

if i never reblog with an update, it’ll mean I failed, no sharp peeled bananas to present. If i do update….

Well. You’ll get a photo of a razor-sharp banana.

It’ll totally happen. Totally

[skopostheorie]

Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this

[cnmcn]

absolutley enchanted by cobepee

[nyhti]

So do you think he made the note in MS Paint and just printed it out or do you think he wrote in the Chiller font by hand?

[fontseeker]

#i know it's not actually the chiller font #but it might as well be

Face Your Fears (2011) [Fonts In Use · Identifont]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Tumblr being the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension site makes sense when you realize that 79% of adults in the US are functionally illiterate. Same goes for Twitter and TikTok.

that's a real high number, sport. where'd you get it?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey anon

please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[tgatbc]

[parkchanwoohoo]