The Vampire Diaries Livebloog Season 5 Episode 3
Okey-dokey, then! It's time for Episode 3. Woohoo~
What will happen this episode? How many persons of color will die? How many awesome lines will Silas pull out of his no doubt shapely ass? How long will it take for Elena to fall back in love with him, leaving Damon to be heartbroken again? All this and more will be revealed at some point eventually on... The Vampyre Journals!
...I have way too much time on my hands without school breathing down my neck.
I've got my bowl of miniwheats. Let's get this show on the road!
Previously on The Vampire Diaires: Stefan foreshadows shit about Elena and Stefan falling in love again. Poop.
Oh. Oh. That's a bar. Poor pretty Woman with Short Hair. You're going to die. Oh, no. You're white, so you get to live.
Stefan doesn't have his daylight ring. That's no good.
Elena, stop dreaming of him. What is this red string crap? Stop that, El-El.
Damon is a good guy. Well, when he's not killing people.
OSHIT! Katherine is linked to him, too! YUSS! Let her get Stefan, like she always wanted. Let Elena and Damon do their thing~
"It doesn't sound crazy - it IS crazy." Damon, really? Really, Damon? I mean... after everything?!
Katherine: thank you for restating your feelings for those of us who haven't watched this show in awhile.
Silas~! And Nadia~! ...Silas restating the events at the end of the last episode. Silas, stahp.
Oh, Nadia is a hitwoman. Hmm... I do like that she's a thing, instead of randomly showing up in one sex scene.
Stefan in a cabin. Who is this woman? She seems familiar... And she knows things. :0
"Who are you?" asks both Stefan and I of this badass mystery woman.
Be careful, m'lady, you're a woman with skin a beautiful shade of brown. They may kill you unceremoniously in two seconds like they did Meghan. Meagan? Meghan.
LMAO SILAS IN GREECE WHAT THE EFF OKAY
Oshit... is that... is that the woman talking? OH YUP IT IS INTERESTING
...They're both travelers. Huh. Motivations for the win!
Wait. Oh. What could this be? Hmm... That witch, Quetsiya? Ketsiya?
WHOA WHOA SHE DAH WITCH WHOA SPIOHFIOGIOSIOHOISBOBFUBGSOBOBSUOFO
Oh, and Silas wants to die. That's curious.
Ketseeya was on the other side, but came back (for Stefan :O). I see this as a precedent for BonBon coming back.
Catty Katherine is fun. I like her.
Ooh... Nadia and Greagor... and Matt with a silly accent. And those neck veins. Nice veins. WAIT. NADIA, STOP COMPLICATING THINGS BETWEEN MATT AND REBECCA, YOU WRETCH. MattActor actually kind of totally pulled off that voice change. Good going~
Ketseeeeeeeya is now Tessa. Approval Get!
Oh... that's how she got back. Crazyness. I love the way the writers are able to make things that happened in the past matter. That's an awkward sentence, but it's true, and it applies to the way that the events of the previous seasons don't just stop being a thing after the season finale. It persists.
OH WHAT THE TITS, ANOTHER FUCKING DOPPELGANGER?! REALLY?!! Well, I suppose Silas' explanation of why Stefan was his works: immortality goes against the laws of nature, nature lashes out, creates another version of you to make things right. ALSO FUCK THE RED STRING OF FATE. GAAAAAAAAH.
Hey, hey Stefan, Elena, how can you breathe right now with that red string tied firmly around your necks?
Tessa relates what I just realized. Mortal versions of the immortals, etc,.
Then she makes another daylight ring for Stefanovich. I like her.
Damon leaves Katherine in the car. This means she will either A) Escape, or B) Get her ass captured.
Jo, the bartender. Not to be a stereotypical asshole, but she looks like a lesbian. I only note this, because it means she may die very soon. That would be stupid.
Nadia is a vampire bounty hunter. What is this development? #stroking my chin out of curiosity
Damon has vervaine breathe.
Tessa: "Hovering actually slows the process." I like her. I like her quite a bit. She kind of rocks.
Tessa is very, very cool. I like her. She will likely die, and horribly.
Hmm... I suspect that she is the precedent for another cure being created.
Oh, she cut Amara to ribbons. Nice? Not sure... OH SHE CREEPY SHE VERY CREEPY PSYCHOBITCH EXTRAORDINAIRE
I actually feel bad for her, though. I know that she's crazy and all, but, admittedly, think of what the many "true lovers" would do if they found out that they were, in fact, not their true love's true love?
"Have you not been listening to me? I have trust issues." lmao I still love this bitch. I think this show is about to dip into misery territory, though.
Oh, good. She knows she's crazy. And she likes it. Huh. Huuuuuuh. This is bad.
Katherine running in the woods. Elena - you know, it's extremely elegant that Elena and Katherine have different hairstyles. It makes sense, too, as there is no way Elena would allow her hairstyle to match up with Katherine.
"It's Ketsiya (or whatever). See why I want to change it?" Lampshade hanging is awesome~
Ohohohohohoho Tessa has been manipulating things. That red string has loosened slightly...
Salvatore Bros back together again!
Damon, stop fucking with her. She'll off you in like two seconds if you piss her off. She cray. She craycray.
Tessa is nifty. I do like her, even if she is frighteningly insane.
That horrified and vulnerable look on Katherine's face is priceless.
Silas, your lack of mental powers is a welcome change.
"I'm frying Silas' brain!" You go, Tessa Coco, you go!
Tessa: Relax. I just fried him a bit. He'll wake up. At some point. Now watch me lampshade hang just about everything from the last four season. ;D
What she experienced, not only having her true love betray her, but having it play out ad infinitum, is kinda' rough. OH GREAT NOW DAMON HAS TO DEAL WITH THE SUPER RED STRING OF FATE.
Tessa states that as long as Stefan is alive, Silas will not have his mental powers. Calling it now: Stefan will die later this season.
Damon overcoming his selfishness - this is good. Watching Elena run to Stefan as he lay battered on the floor - this is not good. Poor Damon.
HAH KATHERINE JUST CALLED LAYS POTATO CHIPS PACKAGED POISON I APPROVE MUCHLY
Silas now has a really strong motivation. Him telling Katherine she made him want to vomit was nice. Katherine referring to herself as nothing more than a gag reflex for Silas had me doubled over with laughter. #Katherine is a gag reflex
Katherine's blood is now a cure. That's... huh. That could be very bad.
Geez. Now poor Matt is losing control over his body.
ELENA STAHP. STAHP DOING THIS WHOLE STUPID ASS SHIT. ENOUGH. STOP FALLING BACK IN LOVE WITH STEFAN. STAAAAAAHP
Damon. Poor Damon. Actually, poor *both* of the Salvatore Brothers. This one girl has caused so much mental and emotional anguish for them both. She's interesting, sure, but Elena is... hm. I'd like to see more of her outside of the Brothers Salvato-
STEFAN HAS AMNESIA YES THIS IS GOOD DEVELOPMENT
Interesting episode. Only a few of our ever-growing cast was in it, but it worked quite well. Damon telling the universe to fuck off and stating that it didn't matter, because Elena was his life was very nice to see. Stefan having no memories was also nice, since it will be fun to see how his narrative arc plays out from here. We basically now have two new roles the actor of Stefan is playing: Silas and AmnesiacEric - er, I mean, AmnesiacStefan. This isn't The Southern Vampire Mysteries. Naaaaaah. No evil witch wiped his mind. Not at all.
I liked the episode. The theme of fate is getting to be a bit gagworthy. Ketsuya/Ketsiya/Ketseeya/Quetsuya/Quetsiya/Quetseeya/Ketmnightshamalamalamalamalamalamalan is an interesting character. I look forward to seeing her psychosis play out.
Finally, I am still curious as to where this season will go. This is definitely the turn of the mini-arc, so I imagine everything will change within three more episodes, though I'm betting on two. Episode 4, here I come! err... After I make ramen.
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