Doodles? On MY dash?

More likely than you think. Hi, I'm Lilac (she/her - ae/aer)! I mostly just reblog silly stuff here, maybe I'll post some art over here one day: @onelilacdoodles

[prokopetz]

It's actually kind of impressive how the Nintendo Direct voiceovers manage to communicate via inflection alone which specific words in the script have a ™ after them.

[prokopetz]

Sitting here watching the delivery tracker app as the little icon of the car very slowly increases in width while remaining in the same spot knowing it's just a glitch of some kind, but, like, imagine.

[prokopetz]

Peering sourly at my phone like "ah shit, they sent the Wide Car again".

[prokopetz]

Last night I dreamed that Tumblr used AI to implement a mandatory feature that automatically placed illustrative emojis before all important nouns in posts, like the dialogue in Super Mario Odyssey, except there was something wrong with the AI and it gradually started identifying every noun as "gun".

[prokopetz]

Look, I know somebody in this room is experiencing cosmic wonder. I can literally hear the tremolo strings accompanied by a solo guitar gently picking out an arrhythmic harmony.

[prokopetz]

I'm not asking for names, I'm just saying it would be swell if whoever's doing it would be kind enough to step outside before the sun bursts through the clouds and transfixes you in a single perfect shaft of light – some of us are photosensitive.

[prokopetz]

Reading the dev notes for Mina the Hollower has been a pretty stark reminder to consider the practical reasons for creative decisions. I was all "okay, but what are we really saying by making the protagonist a mouse", and then the devs are like "yeah, the main reason she's a mouse is because GBC-style sprites are tiny and her bigass ears make it easy for the player to tell which direction she's facing".

[pashagohooooonk]

[prokopetz]

While I enjoy a lot of the more recent Castlevania titles, I do feel that the original flavour's "what if some Fist of the North Star looking fucker systematically beat the shit out of the entire Universal Monsters roster?" vibe got lost somewhere along the way, and I'm hopeful that Belmont's Curse will represent a return to form.

[prokopetz]

If nothing else, the official character promo art for Rose Belmont feels like a step in the right direction:

This is 100% a lady who both could and would explode a dracula's head.

[scribefindegil]

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[anaxaver]

the miracle of life

[lesbianshepard]

One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[wickedsnack]

one of my dwarves successfully killed a bronze colossus, so i asked another dwarf to make a bronze statue of him, hoping the subject matter would relate to the killing of that bronze colossus, but um

instead, the sculptor made a statue of the colossus slayer's wife leaving him

[wickedsnack]

oh my dwarves have such a sense of humor. one of my dwarves was very, very unhappy for silly reasons, so i said "hey dwarves let's carve a statue of her out of her favorite stone, and then we'll put it in her room, and i'm sure she'll love that" and thought surely they'll select one of her kills to commemorate but no

statue carved of that time she got convicted of throwing a tantrum for being SO unhappy.

[sana-kan]

[apolladay]

What do you prefer your house thermostat set at, in degrees Celcius?

64 or lower

65-67

68-69

70-72

73 or higher

No preference

What do you prefer your house thermostat set at, in degrees Celcius?

64 or lower

65-67

68-69

70-72

73 or higher

No preference

Voting ended onJun 2

[bbboar]

Anon you fucked up so bad

[sophiemars]

From the notes

[redstonedust]

every time i think about getting back into doing art more seriously as a job i am inevitably led back to the devils question of "do i need to rejoin twitter?" and let me say that is not a fun prospect to be contemplating. it feels like making a bargain with dark forces. twitter is the evil amulet and not even in a sexy way.

[at-the-end-of-all]

has anyone done this yet idk?

[drtanner]

[avidcollectorofdust]

Totk is funny because it sets up the perfect aesthetic environment for exploring themes of repetition and cycles and then does nothing with it. Yeah the ancients came up out of the earth and they were fighting exact same battle as you. Their heroes look just like yours. The fucking ouroboros everywhere. And then instead of building on the whole “this happened to you yesterday isn’t that weird” they just completely erased the idea that the calamity ever happened and the sheikah were here first but also last and also your girlfriend is a dragon now

[felixfeliccis]

Preach I guess

[felixfeliccis]

OH I HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD

[fatsexybitch]

[nick-nonya]