Eh. @onelongspoon - Tumblr Blog

Posts

kitkatclubcopia

Only Neil Gaiman would make a character who is a gay cat god who wants to fuck a repressed Edwardian boy

neil-gaiman

Normally true, but in this case it was showrunner Steve Yockey.

#Neil Gaiman #“normally true”#Dead Boy Detectives

setheverman

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

setheverman

here it is! the post that started a “me, an intellectual” hell frenzy, and is officially ⭐ the worst post of 2016 ⭐

youngbloodthekilljoy

you: the worst post of 2016

me, an intellectual: modern art

yes-im-youtube-kids

Look everyone look

#the sacred texts

colinfirth

So it's hard, isn't it? Being a person. SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT DYING 2023 — dir. Rachel Lambert

#SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT DYING #Rachel Lambert #2023 #USA #story of my life

amnhnyc

We’re celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day in a big way, with one of the largest known deer: the Irish Elk (Megaloceros giganteus)! It was originally discovered in bog deposits in Ireland. This megafauna could weigh up to 1,500 pounds (680 kg) and its antlers could reach an incredible 13-ft- (4-m-) spread. Once ranging from western Europe to China, this animal died out some 10,000 years ago. However, at least one population, living in Russia’s Ural Mountains, managed to survive until about 7,770 years ago, long after the end of the Pleistocene.

See the Irish Elk up close in the Museum’s Hall of Advanced Mammals! We’re open daily from 10 am-5:30 pm. Plan your visit.

Photo: © AMNH

whydidisavethistomyphone

5 year anniversary of the miette post \o/

#Miette

respectissexy

It feels taboo as a childfree person to admit this but I actually do have concerns about who is going to take care of me when I'm old. The elder care system in our nation relies A LOT on the unpaid care labor of adult children. I just don't think that's a good reason to have kids.

"But you'll have more money!" does not completely put this to rest for me. Neither does "Buy care insurance!" Even if I can afford direct personal care, who is going to advocate for me to get it? Who is going to navigate bureaucracy for me when I'm 80?

"If you do have kids, there's no GUARANTEE that they'll take care of you when your old!" That's true, but doesn't solve my problem.

I think childfree people get very defensive about this question because its used as a kind of "gotcha!" against us, but I actually do not feel we can afford to be in denial about this reality. Based on current trends of more people in their 30s stating they intend to be permanently childfree, we are going to see a huge wave of childfree adults hitting the eldercare system at once in a few decades. Childfree people in their 30s should be advocating around eldercare NOW.

drtanner

We desperately need to cultivate a society in which everyone, even the most bitter, unlikeable, miserably lonely person in the world, has a social safety net that they can rely on from the day they're born to the day they die, and that includes their elder care.

We are not going to achieve this meaningfully under capitalism. :')

#child-free #childfree #elderly care

bananonbinary

one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

redheadhatchet

One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.

#depression #gifted kid burnout #gifted kid syndrome

dyke-will-graham

Sometimes I get weird about labeling my gender then I remember Crowley exists and I’m like omg gender doesn’t even fucking matter I can go through life as Crowley would and then I’m fine again

#same

savage-flirtation-deactivated20

These two are amazing!

@x-heesy 💃🏻🕺🏻 Friday vibes!

vexwerewolf

I want whatever it is that these two have

#West Coast Swing #PJ Turner #Tashina Beckman

tilthat

TIL one of Frank Abagnale’s first cons included, disguising as a security guard, hanging a sign above a bank drop box that read, “Out of service, leave deposit with security guard”. Later he commented how he could not believe it worked, “How can a drop box be out of service?”

via reddit.com

superllama42

Apparently Catch Me If You Can was going to include this con but they had to cancel the scene because when they tried to film it people kept walking up and trying to give Leo their money.

daisenseiben

So a professor of mine used to work at a bank back in the day. She says one day a guy in professional attire and a clipboard shows up in a big moving truck. He says he’s from the home office and they’re changing all the chairs. He’s needs them to just load all their old chairs into his truck and later he’d be back with the replacements.

And that’s how they gave away their office furniture to a conman whose master plan was “Wear a tie and carry a clipboard.”

the-real-d-sandman

Looking professional is just a pass to do whatever the hell you want.

Put a suit on and you can get almost anywhere.

vampire-rooster-deactivated2019

there’s more to it, look nice and ACT LIKE YOU BELONG. If you don’t look like you belong there, people will stop you.

brunhiddensmusings

this smacks of a chef i heard of that was tired to death that every single person ordered their eggs ‘over easy’, so asked the waitress to say ‘were out of over easy, we have plenty of scrambled’ and nobody questioned it

iconuk01

How low must your self image be to plan to rob a bank and all you take is some second hand chairs?

naamahdarling

I 100% believe this was a former employee with a grudge.

pettyartist

Kid you not, this is how a sister store of mine got their entire dog treat bar stolen.

A couple of guys said they were with maintenance and they were there to replace the old bar with a new one and the employees were like “Seems legit” and they wheeled them out. The staff even helped them do it.

honestmerchantsailor

This is called a “Bavarian Fire Drill” and the trick to pulling it off is to have absolute confidence that it’s going to work. If you seem even the slightest bit nervous or hesitant, everyone will see right through it. Case in point: In 1906, a German con man named Wilhelm Voigt dressed up in a German Army captain’s uniform and entered the town of Köpenick claiming to be an “inspector” (inspector of what, he never specified). He managed to wrangle ten German soldiers and a sergeant into assisting him, ordered the local police to halt all telephone calls to Berlin for an hour, arrested the mayor and treasurer for nonexistent charges of crooked bookkeeping, and confiscated the town’s entire treasury complete with a receipt which he signed with his former jail director’s name. He only got caught (two weeks later) because his former cellmate blabbed, and was later pardoned by Kaiser Wilhelm II who found the whole thing hilarious.

autijacen

That Kaiser is a definite bro.

mischeviousfaeriedragon

This is why slytherins like to be fancy and professional looking

athelind

When you’re a trickster, it pays to be … low key.

kumabearsweetheart-deactivated2

I was hired to help test a security system once. I was sent in to a semi-large company and had to go through a list of certain objectives. My favorite one was “take something out of the building that is too big to hide on your body.“ I paired it with “get into a secured facility within the building.”

I walked in in my general business getup. Shirt, tie, jacket, nice pants, not quite “suit” because it was all just a little bit shabby and not exactly matching but not clashing. Nice briefcase. Clipboard. Getting into the secured part was easy. Learned the name of the supervisor, told the security guard that “Cindy said they’d let me in without a problem on my first day. Something about the badges not being made fast enough.” Sure, no problem, go ahead. Walked in, unhooked a PC tower, walked to the bathroom where I’d hidden a dolly earlier, went into a stall and changed into the outfit I’d had in the briefcase. It was what I’d consider workman’s clothes but a worker in an office, not like a construction worker.

Blue jeans, t-shirt, worker’s vest (low key), hat, good boots but 2nd hand.

Threw the tower on the mover’s dolly with a couple other things, stacked very slightly precariously but not likely to fall, walked over to the stairs leading down, and started going down to the way out, which I knew had a security guard on it.

As soon as I saw him see me I stumbled and yelled out. He came running over and helped stabilize everything. Helped me down the stairs. Held the door open for me and told me to “have a nice day” as I left. Never asked for my badge or even where I was going with the stuff.

Act like you know what you’re doing. Look like you belong. Be confident. That’s 75% of it right there.

thebibliosphere

That is some Moist Von Lipwig bullshit right there and I am fucking delighted.

rubyrangerr-deactivated20251212

A former coworker told me about the time he was working at Pizza Hut, first job ever, and a guy showed up with a clipboard and said he was there to inspect the taplines. Walks in, pours a pint from each of the six taps, chugs each pint, says everything seems in order, and left the building.

My buddy and the other guy on shift both decided it was best not to report it.

#eleven got reckless with others so twelve chose his face as a reminder to save others #thirteen got reckless with herself so fourteen chose his face as a reminder to save himself #but both faces were chosen because of donna

+ the realization:

#Doctor Who

mmishee-alt

The future sucks for the most part.

However, I just spent 5 bucks to release a popcorn treat through the live chat for a whole flock of chickens on the other side of the world in a different hemisphere, and I got to watch them enjoy it live.

And how wonderful is that?