dipping my toe back into the Spooks fandom after 6 years away…anybody still here?
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dipping my toe back into the Spooks fandom after 6 years away…anybody still here?
They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies
They also weren’t lying when they said that when you fail to do so your soul shrivels up inside your body and dies
GIFs belong to: @sophia-becketts ‼️‼️
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I want to talk about what this scene meant to me.
As a former bizarre and awkward girl, it’s safe to say that fitting in was quite the challenge when I was younger.
One of the most frustrating things I’ve ever heard directed at me was the whole ‘you never care what anyone thinks’, ‘you do things your own way’, or, heaven forbid, the ‘we didn’t think you’d want to go, that’s why we didn’t ask you.’
And yeah, I’ve absolutely been deliberately excluded from events before, which hurts in its own way; but what’s worse is when it’s not even done with the intent of being cruel, but with a firm conviction that suggests they feel absolutely sure of your character, despite having it so very wrong.
The scene speaks to the experience of being fundamentally misunderstood by those around you. Despite feeling that your behaviour is literally screaming unhappiness, they remain oblivious because they simply aren’t looking for it; which is actually fair enough in many cases. Everyone has stuff going on and sometimes it really does take you outright asking for help for them to realise. But sometimes, and in Mary’s case, you just don’t know how to broach the subject.
It would have seemed inconceivable to do away with the carefully and tediously built walls Mary had put up, out of necessity to protect herself. Her feigned indifference was her last line of defence, and to shatter that, would’ve blown apart the illusion of detached nonchalance she’d curated, leaving the pitiful reality of her desire to be included out in the open for her mother and sisters to take advantage of, and to judge her for.
And gee whiz I know the feeling of wanting all those squishy, ‘weak’ and hungry emotions to be invisible to all but you. The constant mantras of ‘I don’t care’, ‘I wouldn’t have enjoyed that’, ‘I’m glad not to be there’ seem to work in warding off eyes that often look past you anyways. But I found, however small, there was always a part of me that desperately wanted to be seen, heard and noticed in this. Though, each outcome seems as bad as the other. So I don’t know really, is what I’m getting at.
But had Mary concealed all that want so convincingly? Or was nobody really looking? Not even touching on being Mary being bullied and berated, but just the idea that even her loving sister Elizabeth had such a poor read on her- this character, (Mary), that to us, the viewers, seems so outwardly sensitive and in touch with the feelings of others- before London, almost never had an attentive hand extended to her the same way in which she offered it.
There is something so very cathartic in Marys admission that yes, she did care. She had always cared. She had wanted to be included, actually. She had wanted to be asked, to be affectionately chided and dragged away from her books now and again to just be a GIRL with her sisters.
But she didn’t know how to go about it. And she was ashamed.
I get it. I really do.
this too shall pass but the fuck was that for
evoking bertholt brecht’s “the way people cast a play!” quote as a spell against prescriptive, stereotypical, fatalistic typecasting
idk what to tell you except go look at the fishwives
slow horses - eleanor rigby
The last time I played Puck, the director was a huge freak about not letting us wear shoes on stage because it would "ruin the look", but we all kept eating shit, and instead of just letting us wear skintone dance shoes or something with grip, motherfucker poured Pepsi on the floor so it'd be sticky and we had to schlorp around. I fucking hate you, David.
Why couldn't this have been a one time I dreamt
Coking the stage (mopping it with diluted soda so it's a little sticky) is a legitimate low-budget tactic for slick floors, but he just poured so much Pepsi on the floors that for about a whole week, it was audible.
Maybe the course of true love would run a little fucking smoother if we didn't have to ford your Pepsi river, DAVID.
I would just quit. Fuck people like that. It's easy to walk away
No it's not. Didn't you read the post? There was dried Pepsi everywhere.
If you're in the US military or National Guard, and are given an illegal or unconstitutional order, the GI Rights hotline (1-877-447-4487) is there to help give you the support you need to do the right thing by refusing it. It would be good to think about this now before it becomes a live issue for you and it would be smart of you to memorize that number.
You can reblog this without your thoughts about the US Military, btw, that's allowed.
In fact: you SHOULD share it without your thoughts on the US Military. If someone in the military sees this number and is considering it, they already know. Just let them see the resource.
You have to make people think they can be the good guy if you ever want them to act like it.
saw End today. amazing, obviously. broke my heart, as i knew it would.
she’s about 3ft tall. obsessed.
finally watched the new slow horses and good grief river
fucking yorkshire period drama made me cry at ‘I Vow To Thee My Country’
"If you came to ask Molly Doran, you're shit out of luck, because she's been disappeared... dispersed... in a recent rationalisation."
God, the look on Lamb's face when Whelan says that, the genuine distress on Diana's, the look that passes between them. Holy shit there is so much going on in that little exchange, volumes. It goes beyond them sharing an opinion on Whelan and his leadership style, I think, it seems like history. Like, what shared history do Lamb and Diana and Molly Doran have? I want to know all about it.
"If you came to ask Molly Doran, you're shit out of luck, because she's been disappeared... dispersed... in a recent rationalisation."
God, the look on Lamb's face when Whelan says that, the genuine distress on Diana's, the look that passes between them. Holy shit there is so much going on in that little exchange, volumes. It goes beyond them sharing an opinion on Whelan and his leadership style, I think, it seems like history. Like, what shared history do Lamb and Diana and Molly Doran have? I want to know all about it.
only 2 scenes with catherine in this episode? criminal.
one of the scenes being her finding the final piece of the puzzle and figuring everything out AGAIN? absolutely, that’s my girl.
also diana having to hold the wall after interacting with claude was so real.
when i was a kid there was this guy in my neighborhood named Jerry. he was 100 years old for my entire childhood. his house was up on a hill and he had a big porch he sat on all day from sun up to sundown. his front door was always open if it wasn't too cold out and there was a big old fridge/freezer right inside where he kept orange crush in glass bottles and freeze-pops.
kids were allowed to walk right into his house and get treats from the fridge but the rule is we had to sit on the porch while we ate the popsicles or drank the pop and this is how he got us to listen to him talk about random stuff all day.
if parents needed to find us bc we failed to come home when we were supposed to they called him and he could send other kids out looking for us. it'd be like in the creek some other 8 year old would tell you "hey your mom called Jerry. youre supposed to be home."
if you were home sick from school and your parents worked he'd watch you for free & everyone looked out for him. i spent a lot of days napping on his couch when i was little.
idk i know i couldn't be a full-time parent so that's my ideal role in a community one day. old guy babysitter with a porch.