I was re-reading the book and that part really caught me by surprise. It is such an intriguing point adding even more depth to Hua Cheng’s character.
At first, it sounded so weird coming from Hua Cheng whose entire existence was about protecting Xie Lian. He would choose Xie Lian over and over again, no matter how much it hurts. But to imagine his God actually returning not only his love, but his devotion, and worship, and giving his soul away, just like Hua Cheng had done himself a long time ago without looking back… it was truly an impossible dream.
That part also made me think that Hua Cheng had finally deemed himself worthy of his God’s love. Yes, that’s right. There are moments in the novel when it seems like Hua Cheng considers himself inferior to Xie Lian. I don’t think that’s the case. He sees them as equals. They both do. That’s what made their friendship work at the beginning, that’s what made Xie Lian fall in love with him later. Hua Cheng has spent 800 years making himself worthy of simply being by Xie Lian’s side. And he definitely succeeded (ask Xie Lian;). The whole „use me as your stepping stone” thing doesn’t come from a place of servitude, it comes from deep tender adoration. Hua Cheng has never called himself Xie Lian’s servant. No. He calls himself his believer. There’s a big difference. Xie Lian had servants when he was at his best, but when he lost himself to the point of no return (almost), the only one who stayed, was the one that also made a choice to take Xie Lian’s pain upon himself.
And now, 800 years later, Xie Lian is choosing him. Over and over again. No matter how much it hurts.
