Skating = dancing, dancing = life

Trans guy, 26, queer as heck, internet extrovert - ask me things, request stuff, and feel free to message about whatever (seriously). This blog is just for Yuri!!! On Ice, and there's definitely some sin. I'm a dancer who started skating, I draw a little, and I write some ficlets/headcanons. Let's be friends.

[onwardtovictuuri]

heyo sammy's BACK

I don't know if anyone still sees this blog

but, um,

i've been like...real sad. for a long time. And today, a weird mood hit me like a ton of bricks and I wanted to be sociable, so I went out at fuckin midnight to the gay bar up the street

and I have consumed adult beverages. well, one adult beverage; I drink like twice a year and I am SMOL , so one was plenty to be getting on with.

i didn't really know what to do. I sorta just wallflowered until some drunk college girls adopted me, so that worked out pretty good. And I danced a LOT, and turns out that's still a thing I'm good at which is Very Reassuring because I've been self-conscious about the way I move since I came out as a trans dude.

a very charismatic fellow pulled me in to dance with him and his friends and I was so grateful in my awkward geeky introverted soul. I saw him afterward and thanked him for including me and he was SO SWEET about it, what a peach ❤️

also a Very Pretty girl danced with (and on?) me? i think her name was Berenice? and she had long dark hair and such a lovely smile and I think I loved her a little

WOW I don't know how such a fuckin nerd gets this lucky, she did a spin and her hair and her skirt did the floaty thing and she grinned at me over her shoulder.

I AM NOT SMOOTH ENOUGH FOR THIS TO HAPPEN wHich deity did i accidentally please because sign me up i am interested in joining that religion

i am baffled by all of this, but im not gonna complain about pretty dark-haired girls mysteriously deciding they would like to share my personal space. I'll sure as heck stammer a lot and probably look weird , but fuck, a thousand blessings on Berenice and every other girl who rolls the dice on a shy dude on the dance floor; you're goddamn wonderful fuckin strobe light angels and your laugh is better than any of the music.

im gonna queue this for tomorrow because it's now 3:27am and nobody will see it and y'all NEED TO KNOW

[onwardtovictuuri]

it's been a while

 Tagged by @h-y-p-h-e-n-d-o-t-s forever ago (I kinda went on hiatus for a bit, so I want to catch up with people)

If i were a…

month: March or April - the days are getting longer, but it's still a toss up on whether to expect snow or 75 degrees and gorgeous. Should you bring an umbrella? Probably.

day: Monday, realistically. I'm always starting new things, but I'm also grouchy and pragmatic.

planet: Mercury - smaller than most, and running fast in circles almost on fire.

god or goddess: Reconstructes, god of picking stuff apart and making weirder stuff out of the pieces - patron of scholars, multimedia artists, tinkerers, nonconformists, syncretists, and dilettantes. Protector of rummage shops and authors of crossover fic.

sea animal: octopus - ink and running away as a confrontation strategy, good at getting into things, composed of brain and swish.

piece of furniture: bedside table - not usually around for company, but very helpful for one or two people. I guess you could sit on it if you really want to, but it's sort of small and angular. Will hold all your books and sit beside you with a mug of tea before bed.

gemstone: quartz, maybe? doesn't stand out much, but can look nice if polished and is useful for a lot of different things

flower: dandelion! will grow just about anywhere, doesn't require attention, is an annoyance to the kind of people who care too much about what the neighbors think of their lawn.

weather: windy - kind of exciting but could turn into rain; will steal hats and mess up your hair.

colour: navy blue - muted and easy to coordinate with, a little buttoned-up, and can bring out the shine in lighter blues

emotion: being antsy - either anxiety or excitement, sort of aimless either way

fruit: pomegranates are tasty and unusual, but to enjoy them you gotta be ok with small bites and putting in some effort and most people don't bother. that's just how pomegranates are constructed.

element: surprise

place: a theater - constant ebb and flow of chaotic energy, but you're not going to see the mess backstage unless you're involved. Some delightful forgotten corners full of old props, but also can be very eerie at night; slightly haunted, but not abandoned. Complicated fly system that somehow still works (only if you remember to lift the door at an angle and don't move this random piece of tape)

taste: ginger - versatile, but a little tricky to work with. Will make helpful tea if your tum hurts. Likes to be surrounded by sushi.

scent: coffeeeeee. An almost universally appealing scent made by something that's very much an acquired taste.

body part: fingers - dextrous and prone to absentminded activity. A good balance of practical and aesthetic. Expressive.

pair of shoes: beat-up boots that have stomped through a lot of mud. Not shiny or polished, but still fairly waterproof if properly treated.

i found this in my drafts from like a year ago and I am extremely disorganized (read: drunk. i am quite drunk, and 'extremely disorganized' is my favorite euphemism for 'quite drunk'

oh I am supposed to tag people, that sounds like a job for Sober Sammy later

[onwardtovictuuri]

[crimson-chains]

Moonlight Paso Doble~ The dance series continues! o3o

[onwardtovictuuri]

i love this

[onwardtovictuuri]

it’s been a while

Tagged by @h-y-p-h-e-n-d-o-t-s forever ago (I kinda went on hiatus for a bit, so I want to catch up with people)

If I were a…

month: March or April - the days are getting longer, but it’s still a toss up on whether to expect snow or 75 degrees and gorgeous. Should you bring an umbrella? Probably.

day: Monday, realistically. I’m always starting new things, but I’m also grouchy and pragmatic.

planet: Mercury - smaller than most, and running fast in circles almost on fire.

god or goddess: Reconstructes, god of picking stuff apart and making weirder stuff out of the pieces - patron of scholars, multimedia artists, tinkerers, nonconformists, syncretists, and dilettantes. Protector of rummage shops and authors of crossover fic.

sea animal: octopus - ink and running away as a confrontation strategy, good at getting into things, composed of brain and swish.

piece of furniture: bedside table - not usually around for company, but very helpful for one or two people. I guess you could sit on it if you really want to, but it’s sort of small and angular. Will hold all your books and sit beside you with a mug of tea before bed.

gemstone: quartz, maybe? doesn’t stand out much, but can look nice if polished and is useful for a lot of different things

flower: dandelion! will grow just about anywhere, doesn’t require attention, is an annoyance to the kind of people who care too much about what the neighbors think of their lawn.

weather: windy - kind of exciting but could turn into rain; will steal hats and mess up your hair.

colour: navy blue - muted and easy to coordinate with, a little buttoned-up, and can bring out the shine in warmer blues

emotion: being antsy - either anxiety or excitement, sort of aimless either way

fruit: pomegranates are tasty and unusual, but to enjoy them you gotta be ok with small bites and putting in some effort and most people don’t bother. that’s just how pomegranates are constructed.

element: surprise

place: a theater - constant ebb and flow of chaotic energy, but you’re not going to see the mess backstage unless you’re involved. Some delightful forgotten corners full of old props, but also can be very eerie at night; slightly haunted, but not abandoned. Complicated fly system that somehow still works (only if you remember to lift the door at an angle and don’t move this random piece of tape)

taste: ginger - versatile, but a little tricky to work with. Will make helpful tea if your tum hurts. Likes to be surrounded by sushi.

scent: coffeeeeee. An almost universally appealing scent made by something that’s very much an acquired taste.

body part: fingers - dextrous and prone to absentminded activity. A good balance of practical and aesthetic. Expressive.

pair of shoes: beat-up boots that have stomped through a lot of mud. Not shiny or polished, but still fairly waterproof if properly treated.

I’m tagging: @yaboy-viktor @shamelessshipper @kissingontherink @thicctor-nikiforov

[onwardtovictuuri]

This is what happens when I have access to a simple drawing app with lots of stickers. Also, I landed a toe loop. (sorry if this is a double post; mobile is dumb)

[buffallura]

homophobes are SHAKING

[avatarparallels]

We have 4 women who are part of the LGBTQ community in the Avatar universe. All is well! 

[onwardtovictuuri]

not just shown, but acknowledged verbally by another character. not just acknowledged, but supported - and that support was presented as being consistent with the admirable ethical principles of the air nomads. and not played up for laughs or like it was a one-time thing. not used as a Tragic Forbidden Love plot hook. just... human.

The Avatar keeps the world in balance, yeah? who else would be in a better position to effect social change? The whole wisdom-from-past-lives thing is more than just "I don't know how to fight this guy, help me kick his ass". It's about empathy as well - insight into what it's like to have been a different gender, or from a different culture. If you're gonna keep the world in balance, it sure fuckin' helps if you can draw on those experiences.

good.

[refinery29]

These are the Obama administration’s defining moments told through his social media

As I went through two terms worth of tweets, Instagrams, and Snapchats, I was struck by three qualities that never wavered: A sense of humor, respect for women, and love, in all its forms.

SEE MORE

[aggressivelymediocrebagel]

This is how a prominent political figure should represent themselves over social media. In this society, portraying yourself in social media is really important, and if you come off as funny but also respectful, that’s the best. 

[emeraldjade]

😭 I miss him/them so much…

[lauraannegilman]

#futuregoals

#forevergoals

#fucktrump #andallhisshittyenablers

[onwardtovictuuri]

i miss him a lot

[onwardtovictuuri]

I've just returned from a week-long camping trip with some dear friends. communing with nature is wonderful, i swam in the lake. i listened to some bard owls. i went stargazing on the boat. i made s'more burritos. i saw a snek.

[paxohana]

would you be interested in a yuri on ice fencing au?

As in the sport? I know absolutely nothing about fencing, so probably not.

~Pax

[mygeekcorner]

I would love one!!!

[onwardtovictuuri]

*pokes head in*

did I hear ‘fencing au’?

THIS IS A GREAT IDEA

I want this to exist so bad. If anyone wants to write this, I can help! I’ll do video, even - seriously, I can ramble about fencing for hours.

Fencing is dancing, except there’s a winner. Especially rapier. I saw a video once of Emma Rios essentially dance circles around someone before popping him right in the head with apparently zero effort. It was beautiful, is what I’m saying.

[onwardtovictuuri]

actually, heck, maybe I'll just write it

[paxohana]

would you be interested in a yuri on ice fencing au?

As in the sport? I know absolutely nothing about fencing, so probably not.

~Pax

[mygeekcorner]

I would love one!!!

[onwardtovictuuri]

*pokes head in*

did I hear 'fencing au'?

THIS IS A GREAT IDEA

I want this to exist so bad. If anyone wants to write this, I can help! I'll do video, even - seriously, I can ramble about fencing for hours.

Fencing is dancing, except there's a winner. Especially rapier. I saw a video once of Emma Rios essentially dance circles around someone before popping him right in the head with apparently zero effort. It was beautiful, is what I'm saying.

[onwardtovictuuri]

tmi

do you ever have like... a cascade of embarrassing things happen when you're alone and once you recover it's like wow if someone had walked in on that, I'd have had to fake my own death I'd put the rest under the cut, but I'm on mobile. If you think I'm even a tiny bit cool and want that impression to continue, maybe skip the rest. - I had a long day at work and didn't want to cook. fukk me up with calories, idgaf. So I put down a double quarter pounder and a large fries in about 4 minutes. fuck yeah, junk food. so gross, but so goooood. All is well, and I decide I want to do another episode of Closet Cosplay - see how much of an eros!yuuri I can put together without shopping or sewing. It's going well - found a nifty mesh thing, looking pretty good. (plot note: nausea is Sam's #1 anxiety trigger) Flash forward half an hour to me in the bathroom trying desperately to peel open a packet of panic pills while cutting myself out of half a fucking mile of bondage tape because that quarter pounder is back for revenge. i s2g, people, sometimes I think I'm cool and then something like this.

[asideoftrashplease]

unpopular opinion: viktor isn’t depressed

he’s bipolar

like look, he definitely shows signs of depression, which the fandom has already picked up on:

losing enjoyment in things he once enjoyed (skating)

running out of inspiration— a lack of motivation

how miserable he looks during the first stammi vicino

his tendency to drink too much

but there are also signs of mania:

sudden bursts of inspiration/creativity: there’s only three months between sochi banquet and worlds, when yuuri goes viral. yet in that short period he started and nearly finished not just one, but two amazing SPs inspired by the banquet.

starting things but not finishing them: of course, somewhere along the way he lost inspiration and didn’t finish either eros or agape.

impulsivity: packing up everything, pretty much ending his career, and flying halfway across the world to be with a guy he danced with once at a party, because of a video.

excitement, talking really fast: the entire “do you have feelings for minako? do you have a girlfriend? any ex-girlfriends? LET’S TALK ABOUT ME! my first girlfriend—” exchange

grandiosity: viktor is sometimes ridiculous and over-the-top. that’s why we love him!

so guys. listen. here’s the timeline:

pre-sochi (depression): he’s on a downswing. skating is losing its purpose. he’s getting older. he can’t surprise anyone anymore. he’s realising that he’s been “neglecting his life and love” for his whole life, and now he has nothing.

immediately post-sochi (mania): meeting yuuri triggers a manic episode. he’s in love! he’s probably waiting for yuuri to contact him and whisk him away into the sunset on a white horse! he’s inspired! he begins choreographing eros, but wait! also agape! he’s full of ideas and creativity! life seems so promising!

between sochi and worlds (depression): yuuri never acknowledges him. this triggers another downswing. he runs out of inspiration and is unable to finish eros and agape. he looks tired and miserable during stammi vicino. he’s forgetting important things, like his promise to choreography for yuri p.

post-world championships (mania): on the day of worlds, yuuri’s video goes viral. he sees it and suddenly! it’s! a message! this has to mean something! this is a message! to him! (*cough* psychosis *cough*) off he goes! he packs up everything and flies halfway across the world. he’s so excited! to learn more! about yuuri! tell me about yourself! let’s talk about me! let’s sleep together!

yuuri seemingly rejects him (depression): he cries himself to sleep, drinks too much, seems a little more serious. reality hits him and he’s suddenly doubting whether anything meant what he thought it meant.

but then their relationship starts to develop slowly. he starts to stabilize a little as he begins to settle into life with yuuri. he’s not so depressed about the “life and love” thing, and he’s also getting used to the unfamiliar environment. he stops swinging so intensely. china happens, then barcelona. and now we have our sweet, content, and a lot less manic vitya ^^

[ineffectualdemon]

This makes a good argument.

I don’t necessarily agree with it fully because depression isn’t nearly as linear as people make it out to be but it’s an interesting take

[onwardtovictuuri]

I've had depression of the "this couch is my home now because I can't find it in me to care about anything" variety, and I don't think it applies here.

I can relate to starting a ton of things, working myself to exhaustion on Shiny Thing Of the Month, and not finishing much. For me, it's partly a self-esteem thing. Being myself isn't enough; I have to be brilliant, or what's the point of me?

I've also, frequently, had a lingering malaise that doesn't quite feel like depression. More like discontent? Everything is going well, but something is missing?

If that builds up for long enough, it all comes out at once in the form of big, impulsive life changes. It's a desperate grab at the chance of finding meaning, to make me feel like I'm not wasting my life.

Had to reblog for great character analysis. I think there's definitely a cyclical aspect to Victor either way.

[onwardtovictuuri]

hey, just so you know, @h-y-p-h-e-n-d-o-t-s is a friggin' gem ✨🏆✨❤🌸🌈

[onwardtovictuuri]

So, I decided to see how much of an Attack On Titan cosplay I could put together just with stuff I already had.

Looks like I’m going to be Levi for halloween, folks.

[onwardtovictuuri]

@aftgonice - saw your tags - reblogging is fine with me ❤ (hHeckin' wow, I am so flattered actually) (thanks for getting the pronouns right too. it's a small thing but it means a lot to me ❤)

[onwardtovictuuri]

So, I decided to see how much of an Attack On Titan cosplay I could put together just with stuff I already had. Looks like I'm going to be Levi for halloween, folks.

[saintdrarry]

reblog if youre the kind of person that checks other ppl’s tags when they reblog ur stuff

[onwardtovictuuri]

obsessively. every single one.