the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.
After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.
If you are freaking out about huge things you have to deal with, it is helpful to stop and ask if you are looking at step 20 when you're at step 2 and refocus accordingly
Because step 20 is impossible until steps 1-19 have been done and it will not help if you if you're trying to start there
Step 1/2 are probably much easier to do once you figure them out
If you can't figure it out on your own what the early steps are
1. Eat something
2. Sleep if you haven't
3. Talk it out with someone or a rubber duck
4. physically write down the steps you need to take as you figure it out. Even if you lose the list physically writing it down will help you remember and if you take a pic of the list that will also help you
âYou still want?â âI still wunnt.â leads me to believe that once shane drops masking a little more, he starts feeling comfy letting himself echo ilya from time to time. it starts out with words and phrases that conveniently double as an answer to whatever theyâre talking about. like above, ilya asks him something and shane answers using the same words and same inflection, just with his monotone little drone. âYou have remote?" "I hayve re-mote."
he fucking loves the was ilya says âprobably.â ten out of ten times if ilyaâs saying probably, shaneâs bringing up the rear with a deadpan but delighted âprah-bubly.â
ilya doesnât say anything at first bc shaneâs kind of always done this? itâs just much more frequent now. but then shane starts quietly echoing stuff even when heâs not being asked something. like heâs literally just repeating random words that ilya says, even in the middle of his sentence. and finally ilya is like hey what the fuck. why are you being an asshole? like he knows his english pronunciation is still not great with some things after all these years, but itâs kind of a dick move to point it out so much!
and shane is first and foremost confused by this! it was never about roasting him or being mean and he has to sit him down and explain to him that no no. since the day they met there has never been anything more satisfying to his ears than ilya speaking. his brain likes the way the words sound coming out of ilyaâs mouth and shane needs to feel them in his mouth too. itâs an echo of delight, not derision.Â
once ilya understands that heâs not being hate-crimed by his own boyfriend twenty times a week, heâs all good with it. maybe even a little endeared, because that must mean shane feels comfortable around him, right? eventually, it doesnât even register as strange to have a one-note parrot within his vicinity, occasionally repeating bits and pieces of his sentences when it suits him. thatâs when shane really starts to let the echo flag fly.
he doesnât even need to be talking to shane specifically anymore. if itâs coming out of ilyaâs mouth, shaneâs brain is latching onto that shit and trying it on for size. like when theyâre on the road for a game and tensions are midwest-hellhole-green-sky high. ilyaâs trying to calm down a particularly antsy group of coastal rookies like âYes we all have alerts on our phones. Is tornado probably - just keep an eye out.â and the rookies are like, shitting their pants and stuff and meanwhile Shaneâs in the background muttering âEes tornaydo prah-bublyâ under his breath, attention otherwise focused on zipping up his travel bag.Â
theyâre out with some of the guys and marlow is purposely being a pain in the ass about leaving just to stress ilya out/get him back for years of ilya foolishness and ilya is standing at the curb about to crash out like âMarly I will leave your drunk ass here if you donât get in stupid uber right now!â meanwhile, mumbled from the safety of the sidewalk: âStoopid oo-burrâŠâÂ
sometimes he'll be on the phone in the living room and can't even make out shane's exact repeat from where he's meal prepping. so it's kind of like soothing background noise, ilya speaking freely while there's this lowkey undercurrent of shane murmuring in the kitchen, happy as a clam to get his brain scratched when they're not even in the same room.
idk i just think ilya's got a very brain-petty voice and pronunciation of things, and i like to live in a world where shane lets himself enjoy that.
Not me soft launching the idea of being in a poly relationship to my mother while she visited this weekend because I've decided to start dating in the city of Boston
too many stories about turning yourself into a monster as a metaphor for pretending to be something you aren't and losing yourself in the process. not enough stories about turning yourself into a monster as a metaphor for choosing to openly embrace yourself even if it's strange to other people
things ppl often get wrong in academia AUs (specifically ones in modern university settings with focus on graduate students & professors):
no one is spending enough time complaining about writing
hierarchy is wrong. your grad student TA is not a professor or faculty and might not even be considered an employee. that 32 year old man is not a full professor no matter how talented he is or how old you think 30+ is, and he should be talking more about "the tenure clock"
grad students only ever taking or TAing classes & never doing research or working on their thesis/dissertation. there are masters programs with no thesis component so i'm sure there are ones that have no research requirement, but you can't get a PhD only taking classes
everyone has too much money. but also if it's set in the US there's an obsession with accumulating student debt for positions that generally you would not have to take out loans for
relationship with academic advisor never sufficiently unhinged
not enough discussion of stats where it's obvious everyone only barely understands what's happening
I think it's actually essential to children's moral development to be exposed to short stories moderately beyond their reading level where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and then instead of offering a moral lesson or any sort of emotional or narrative resolution it just ends.
(Ideally these stories should be presented in the form of poorly curated anthologies with the most generic titles imaginable, thereby rendering their contents impossible to identify or find later in life and leaving the affected individual wondering whether they dreamed the whole thing.)
amandla
theartofmadeline
stormborns
izzy806
