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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
occasionally subtle
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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Cosimo Galluzzi
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trying on a metaphor
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Today's Document

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@onyxia99
Lifts up leaf. “Yahaha!”
Stuff I Never Learned In Uni and Now I’m Gonna Sue:
When he was young, Plato used to wear a ridiculous earring and everybody made fun of him behind his back. Also his original name was Aristocles: ‘Plato’ (= Broady) is a nickname his trainer gave him because he was so stupidly buff.
Aristotle was fond of flashy clothes and flashier rings and spent ages doing his hair.
Socrates used to turn a stick into a pretend horse to amuse his children.
Alcibiades and his friends once got high on stolen Pythia’s herbs and risked the death penalty.
Plutarch literally said “Sex is nice, but have you tried reading Aristobulos?” (his books are now lost, btw, and that goes on my list ‘things to be furious and sad about’)
Empedocles, a vegetarian who won the Olympics, made an ox out of frankincense and myrrh and sacrificed it as a tribute to the gods instead of a real animal. Pythagoras also sacrificed an ox-shaped cake to the gods when he discovered that hypotenuse thing.
Sophist Anchimolus happily survived on figs and water, but people avoided him at the baths because he just stank so much.
Philoxenus and Gnathon the Sicilian used to blow their noses over the best dishes of a buffet, so that other guests wouldn’t eat them first.
The philosopher Crates was called ‘the Door-Opener’ because he had this habit of randomly walk into people’s houses and offer them unwanted and unsolicited advice.
Alcibiades once sent Socrates a gigantic cake for sex-related reasons, and Socrates’ wife was so mad she threw it on the floor and trampled it.
(As a reminder, Alcibiades tried everything he knew to get into Socrates’ pants but the guy just. never. shut. up. and Alcibiades would usually fell into a stupor and sleep.)
Many statues had little umbrellas on their heads so birds wouldn’t poop on them.
A guy once invited King Philip (Alexander’s dad) for dinner, but forgot kings usually travel with dozens of people. When Philip realized his host was embarrassed because there wasn’t enough food for everyone, he discreetly told his companions to leave room for cake. People ate very little in expectation of a glorious dessert, and so there was enough for everyone.
“Dreaming about cakes without cheese is a good omen, but cheesecakes signify deceit and trickery.” (Artemidorus, who totally wasn’t pulling things out of his own ass)
Proving nothing ever really changes and time is an illusion, Plutarch complained that the guides at Delphi would bore everyone to death by reading every single inscription while their audience baked in the sun.
“If a cucumber is bitter, just throw it away…Don’t go and complain Why do such things exist in this world?” (Marcus Aurelius, unproblematic fave; also filed under ‘does it spark joy?’)
Wine jars had a piece of wood inside it, so the mice who fell in could climb back out (a Most Civilised custom imo).
“Those drunk on wine fall on their faces; those drunk on beer fall on their backs.” (this from Aristotle, I dare hope from personal experience)
Empedocles once attended a party where the host told his guests they could either drink or be drenched in wine. The next day, he had the man executed. “This was the beginning of his career in politics”.
Alexander put collars on a number of deer to determine how long they lived. When they were caught, more than a hundred years later, they had not aged a day. (*stanning intensifies*)
A good method to stop children from crying: fasten a sponge on a jar of honey and give it to them. Probably also doubles as a good method for making their teeth fall out.
Several people tried to pass laws against children’s tantrums.
A flying pig once devastated the Ionic city of Clazomenae.
Greek divers had snorkels so they could stay longer underwater.
“The students nod to each other about charioteers, or mime-actors, or horses, or dancers, or about some gladiatorial fight; some just stand there like a block of stone, others pick their noses…Anything is preferable to paying attention to their teacher.” (Libanius, #bless; he also complained that students would rather handle snakes than touch their textbooks)
Aristotle made fun of Herodotus for saying a black man’s semen must also be black.
When Gelon, the future tyrant of Syracuse, was a boy, a wolf came into his classroom and stole his writing tablet. Gelon ran after him, and as soon as he’d stepped outside the school there was an earthquake: all the other children and their teacher died.
Archimedes once built a big-ass ship for king Hieron of Syracuse. It had a gymnasium, gardens, a library, a seawater pond full of fish and mosaics detailing the entire Iliad.
There was a rumor Sophocles died when he tried to recite his Antigone and couldn’t stop for breath because he never used commas. (#KarmaIsABitch)
In Sparta, all the girls and young men who were unmarried were locked together in a dark room. The men then grabbed a girl, and whoever they grabbed, they had to marry. Lysander, the famous Spartan general, was fined for abandoning the girl he caught and scheming to marry a prettier one.
Crocodile dung was considered an essential ingredient in face masks, but dishonest sellers would often present starling dung as crocodile’s.
There were beauty contests in several cities, both for men and for women. Some cities also held modesty contests for women.
The only valid reasons for being late at the Olmypics were illness, shipwreck and capture by pirates.
Pythagoras was shocked by how women lend each other clothes and jewelry without paperwork or a witness to the transaction.
Demosthenes refused to pay the prostitute Lais (a man) half a million dollars to sleep with him, declaring “I don’t buy regret at such a high price”.
Bald men made money by allowing people to break pots over their heads for fun.
In Southern Italy there was a breed of sheep whose wool was so valuable, shepherds put leather jackets on them so it wouldn’t be ruined by bushes and thorns.
The Gauls used to throw letters on funeral pyres so the dead could read them in their next life.
In Sparta, every year boys were whipped for an entire day on the altar of Artemis. Some died, but the ones enduring it most gracefully received the highest honors.
Plato once gave a public reading of his treatise On the Soul and Aristotle was the only person who stayed until the end.
The statues of unpopular politicians were thrown in the sea or turned into chamber pots.
Apsethus the Libyan trained some parrots to say ‘Apsethus is a god’, and the Libyans, impressed by the miracle, started to worship him. Then a Greek came along and trained the parrots to say ‘Apsethus put me in a cage and forced me to say Apsethus is a god’ so when the Libyans heard that, they seized Apsethus and burned him to death.
An idiot named Marcus insisted in running a race in full armour. He was so slow, at midnight the stadium authorities locked everything up because they mistook him for one of the statues. When they opened up again in the morning, they found he’d finished his first lap.
Athens was plagued with gangs of rich kids running around and stealing the offerings left for the gods. One of them was called The Hard Dicks.
Some many men died in the Peloponnesian War the city of Athens made polygamy legal. Euripides thus had two wives, but wasn’t happy with either of them.
A character in one of Euripides’ plays argued that wealth matters more than morality and the audience got so mad Euripides had to come on stage and beg them to wait for the end of the play - promising the guy would be revealed as the villain and meet a dreadful end.
When Rhodopis, a beautiful prostitute, was taking a bath, an eagle stole her shoe. It carried it all the way to Memphis and dropped it on the lap of Pharaoh Psammetichus, who immediately ordered the whole country to be searched for the owner of such a beautiful and shapely shoe. When Rhodopis was found, he married her.
In Elysium, the fortunate dead enjoy checkers, horse riding, gymnastics and playing the lyre.
[Source: various Greek authors, collected by J.C. McKeown in A Cabinet of Greek Curiosities. Also available: Ancient Medical Curiosties and Roman Curiosities.]
Australia’s Bureau of Meteorology has announced it was the country’s hottest January ever recorded.
This is fucked. It’s 30C and thunderstoms tomorrow in melbourne. The humidity will end me
Saw this on Essence Magazine’s Snapchat and thought it would be helpful💕
Yeah seriously, sex education never told me any of this in school. Little me was panicked seeing the dark coloured bits and i had no clue that’s just the normal colour blood goes when its clotted or dried.
Was gonna add my opinion and personal experience to this and then saw what was happening in the replies and jeez.
From what I’ve observed Australia’s public school system has done a much better job of sex ed than the American, but even so stuff like this wasn’t taught. Usually aroud grades 5 and 6 the teacher pulls out some pads and tampons and says well yall gonna start bleeding soon and use these fancy things to stop it. Then we copy down some very technical diagrams of the penis and uterus, and watch a cringy video on the changes boys and girls experience during puberty. This same sort of thing happened right up until year 10 ish where we got the safe sex talk.
I personally think instead of several years of penis and vagina diagrams along with cringy videos, teachers should also be required to give a run down of things like this. Not even going into huge detail, just a simple list like the original post with some minor descriptions of period blood, vaginal discharge, etc would be super helpful. I know it would’ve eased my mind earlier on in my teenage years and I could’ve avoided panicedly googling alone in the bathroom. I’m sure there are “guy things” I don’t know about that teenage boys would like a similar true/false slash fact run down off, that perhaps are usually deemed to “gross” to discuss at school.
it’s like that sometimes
man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful? me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity
It’s time for another fucking giveaway I guess.
Here’s the deal: this time, you don’t get to know what I’m giving away. I’m taking away that privilege since y’all decided to worship a lemon last time.
You get what’s in this mystery box and you don’t get to whine about it. It might be worth a million dollars, or it might be worth zero. It’s probably not a million, though.
This time, we have some rules.
You have to be following me. Not because this is a grab for followers, but because this is a giveaway for the folks that have put up with this blog’s antics for so long. Now you have to put up with this one too.
No giveaway blogs. Feel free to reblog this as many times as you’d like, but you can’t win if you’d made a whole separate blog just for the purpose of winning the giveaway. Sucks, I know. Deal with it.
Like or reblog before October 11th, 2018 6:00pm CDT. I’ll use a random generator to pick a winner.
I will ship to any country. If you win it, you win it. Congrats.
You must be willing to give me your address if you win. For obvious reasons, I will need access to that info.
You don’t get to know what’s in the mystery box. Don’t send me asks asking what’s in the mystery box. I won’t fucking tell you.
If you win the mystery box, feel free to post about it if you want to. I don’t give a shit after it’s gone. If you don’t want to, that’s fine too. Whatever. Enjoy.
Feel free to ask if you have any other questions.
Have fun weirdos.
BDD
My new guess is that the box is
Giveaway Contest: Thanks to the generosity of @harperperennial, we’re giving away all eight of the brand new, limited edition 2018-19 Harper Perennial Olive Editions! And this year, all of the Olives are CLASSICS! <3 Won’t these look lovely on your shelf? :D To win these books, you must: 1) be following macrolit on Tumblr (yes, we will check. :P), and 2) reblog this post. We will randomly choose a winner on November 10, at which time we’ll start a new giveaway. And yes, for the third straight year, Harper Perennial has agreed to make this an International giveaway! Good luck!
Here’s our brand new giveaway!
Not entering, just signal boosting!
It’s time for another fucking giveaway I guess.
Here’s the deal: this time, you don’t get to know what I’m giving away. I’m taking away that privilege since y’all decided to worship a lemon last time.
You get what’s in this mystery box and you don’t get to whine about it. It might be worth a million dollars, or it might be worth zero. It’s probably not a million, though.
This time, we have some rules.
You have to be following me. Not because this is a grab for followers, but because this is a giveaway for the folks that have put up with this blog’s antics for so long. Now you have to put up with this one too.
No giveaway blogs. Feel free to reblog this as many times as you’d like, but you can’t win if you’d made a whole separate blog just for the purpose of winning the giveaway. Sucks, I know. Deal with it.
Like or reblog before October 11th, 2018 6:00pm CDT. I’ll use a random generator to pick a winner.
I will ship to any country. If you win it, you win it. Congrats.
You must be willing to give me your address if you win. For obvious reasons, I will need access to that info.
You don’t get to know what’s in the mystery box. Don’t send me asks asking what’s in the mystery box. I won’t fucking tell you.
If you win the mystery box, feel free to post about it if you want to. I don’t give a shit after it’s gone. If you don’t want to, that’s fine too. Whatever. Enjoy.
Feel free to ask if you have any other questions.
Have fun weirdos.
BDD
sick fursuit jeezy boy
someone tagged this as ’#blasphemy’
Me, slapping a shit load of moisturiser on my face: sELF CARE!
Kara McCullough, a 25-year-old chemist, who took home the Miss USA title for the District of Columbia, has made some comments that drew criticism.
McCullough also answered a question later by saying that she did not consider herself a feminist.
“I don’t want to call myself a feminist,” McCullough said. “Women, we are just as equal as men, especially in the workplace.” McCullough said she didn’t prefer the word “feminist” and “transferred the word feminist to equalism.“
and her response to healthcare:
I’m definitely going to say it’s a privilege. As a government employee, I am granted health care, and I see firsthand that for one to have health care, you need to have a job. Therefore, we need to continue to cultivate this environment that we’re given the opportunities to have health care as well as jobs to all the American citizens worldwide.
Throwback
Hey what’s up, that HTTYD 3 poster got me fucked up
So this official poster has been released for How To Train Your Dragon 3 and it has left me with… opinions.
My first initial reaction was excitement! Oh hell yeah HTTYD 3 is coming out! I adored the first two! But then i saw…
SIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHH I knew immediately that this was most likely a female night fury and fuck yeah shit fuck it is which is so disappointing. I could write a huge essay on how female characters are portrayed in media. I could write a massive blog about smurfette syndrome and how female characters are always just a pink, soft version of their male counterparts, or how female animal or anthro characters still have to fall into society’s beauty standards so we do crazy things like give ducks tits or large eyelashes.
I COULD talk about why these things occur, and how this is a worrying reflection of how society views human females, that males are the default and females are the other… but I’m not going to do that TODAY.
Hi my name is India and not only do I have an animation degree, but I also have a degree in animal and veterinary science.
This design doesn’t just insult me as an animator. This design insults me as a scientist.
Let’s begin.
Keep reading
Signs as hipster food trends
Aries- Spaghetti donut
Taurus- Blk water
Gemini- Waffle pops
Cancer- Ramen burger
Leo- Gold flake pizza
Virgo- Avacado burger buns
Libra- Acai bowl
Scorpio- Black ice cream
Sagittarius- Rainbow grilled cheese
Capricorn- Deconstructed coffee
Aquarius- Sushi burrito
Pisces- Rainbow bagel
I would literally fight somebody of they offered me deconstructed coffee
half of these aren’t bad. the other half come from a buffet in hell.
Id fucking punch someone if they diluted my coffee with water
Every time I get people handing me $20, $50, or $100 for a total that is under $10, I wanna scream and push them out of the store.
a few weeks back i looked up the source of “we deserve a soft epilogue, my love” because it’s such a lovely, evocative line and i wanted to know the name of the poet who wrote it and it was. from captain america fanfiction.
“in whatever manner it comes to be, love is never wrong, especially between one who has so much of it to give, and one so desperately in need of it” is from a naruto fanfic we’re living in a web of lies
WARNING: ANIMAL CRUELTY
Apparently people have been adopting dogs and either killing them themselves or dropping them to a kill shelter (and one even said they were flying them to poor Asian areas to be eaten) under the Twitter hashtag #pitbulldropoff
This is completely cruel and evil and word needs to get around about these demons so everyone knows what these demons are planning to do to dogs once they get ahold of them.
If you know someone or if you yourself is planning to give away a pitty by craigslist soon, DONT and wait for awhile!!!! They act like they’re going to adopt them and act all nice then they get rid of them, don’t be fooled!!
DM me for uncensored names!!!!!!!!