This Bitch Don't Know About Pangea

Cowardly Lion With An Identity Crisis

[thisisalovestry]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[insomniparty]

[wrishwrosh]

one neat bonus of being a picky eater as a child is that adult life is filled with so many beautiful discoveries. have you guys heard about caesar salad? im turning 26 this week

[pitbolshevik]

my mom had a nightmare years ago that george costanza tried to kill her and sometimes when we're watching seinfeld and george starts yelling about something she'll be like "that's what he sounded like when he tried to kill me"

[fibrespace]

"What style of knitting do you use?"

dude idk I looked up how to knit on youtube in like 2014 and I've been doing exactly the way the nice lady in the video told me to for the past ten years

[kosmogrl]

[powerburial]

I’m soooo hungry for dinner but I just can’t stop sitting in my favorite chair

[great-and-small]

Just found out my facebook birding group is public because my cousin (a lawyer who is not into birds) casually said to me “saw you couldn’t identify a willet the other day… pretty embarrassing”

[gatheringbones]

I love reading a book you are slightly too stupid for

[vernadskova-deactivated20230803]

i bet cavemen were doing some pentatonix acapella shit all the time

[garbagegold]

This is very high on my list of favorite Onion articles.

[folkloregirlfriend]

yes girl you are so [if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more] [hands are unbearably beautiful] [i'll take care of you it's rotten work not to me not if it's you] [if you are intolerable let me be the one to tolerate you] [i could recognise him by touch alone] [i love you i want us both to eat well] [on purpose i love you on purpose] [whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same] [i am half agony half hope] [you have bewitched me body and soul and i love love love you] [he is half of my soul as the poets say] [i'm sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for but i'm so lonely] [i love you most ardently] [let me stay tender hearted despite despite despite] [someone has to leave first this is a very old story there is no other version of this story] [mostly i want to be kind] [tell me how all this and love too will ruin us] [you said i killed you haunt me then] [someone somewhere can you understand me a little love me a little] [i will love you as misfortune loves orphans as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong] [sorry about the blood in your mouth i wish it was mine] [who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me] can we kiss now

[mrhealyourgirl]

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

[mrhealyourgirl]

look at my gouger, boy.

[kosmogrl]

[cock-holliday]

“If this hurts my shows I’m gonna riot” “they better not cancel my favorite show” “this is so selfish I NEED this show” “what about my mental health now that they—“

So you agree. Show-writers are important to you and to the industry and should be compensated accordingly for their important work.

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

dude i know you said you weren't feeling good but you have to come over a gnome is letting us take shots out of his hat

[dogmotif-deactivated20240505]

if you're not obsessed with anything weird and niche please try harder. stop going outside for a while. consider getting weirder about the things you already like

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

things are different now that stuff has changed