Ash

27// just a clusterfuck of everything I like\\

[escuerzoresucitado]

[murdercide626]

THE CLAW IS LAW!

[adisabledzombie]

@ominous-signs

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign

[crtter]

”How come you’ve never seen the Amazon rainforest if you’re from Brazil?” big country

[crtter]

Here, this should make it clearer:

[crtter]

Wait, hold on, I can illustrate it in a funnier way

[crtter]

There’s around one and a half Frances between me and the Amazon rainforest.

[crtter]

I had no idea “coach” could also mean “bus” until like, a second ago and I stared at your reply in disbelief for a good minute because I thought you were telling me to do the trip in a horse-drawn carriage. I was like “Coach?! Like Cinderella?! Where would I even get- that HAS to be slower than a car!”

[psychicbby]

dan and phil are funny as fuck for being like “guys be srs we didn’t fucking kiss with cat whiskers on that would be awful” just for them 9 months later to admit they fucking kissed with the cat whiskers on😭😭

[in-ex-piration]

Saw someone say it felt like this in the comments of the phupload and I was struck by inspiration

[markovchaingang]

the 100% accurate guide to tea leaf reading:

-cup empty: you will need to pee soon

-cup still full of tea: dude i made it for you why aren't you drinking it

[what1sgo1ngon]

Love this brand of phil pettiness

[hobbular]

Friend of mine was submitting a job application and discovered that they REQUIRED a photo:

We’re trying to decide which of these is a better option:

or

[nowlander]

[boncasphan]

no classic poetry or literature will ever compare to dan’s “are you good” tweet when he was drunk at the tatinof usa wrap party

[boncasphan]

true art

[philester]

[cognitohazardous]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

[were--ralph]

Mitch McConnell will die two weeks from today (8/31/23)

[were--ralph]

there is no need to charge or cast i just be Knowing

[were--ralph]

Like i said dont ever fucking doubt me again

[were--ralph]

[paksthestoic]

thinking about eva stratt crafting a coffin for her friends. the very best coffin, full of every piece of pirated media the entire world has to offer. crafted for maximum comfort, this coffin, with every bit of authority available to her, which is all of it.

and then thinking about all the people who call her cold or uncaring or clinical about what she has to do to save earth. eva stratt, who had silly t-shirts and vodka and favorite meals stored in the Hail Mary and treated with the same level of importance as the finely tuned equipment and the centrifuge the entire planet relies on for salvation.

and then thinking about eva stratt nodding and saying, “yeah, I’m pretty awful. that’s why i’m in charge” with a neutral expression and even believing it. as if crafting the most beautiful coffin and homage to her soon-to-be dead friends won’t haunt her always.

thinking about eva stratt being the first person on the “eva stratt is a monster” train, welcoming ryland grace aboard and knowing she believed in him more than anyone else.

it’s fine, really it’s fine and normal and eva stratt makes beautiful coffins for the people and things she cares about.

[juniper-petunia]

they should make a version of socializing that doesn’t make you feel like you’re still the weird 12 year old kid that doesn’t know why she’s not normal like the other kids

[rederiswrites]

Look, I realize that the whole Schrodinger's Mitch thing has real political consequences on a national level, but since I'm not from Kentucky and have no say whatsoever in the outcome of the situation, I'm honestly just finding the entire thing grimly hilarious. Has Horrible Turtle Man died? We don't fucking know! Turns out senators can just not show up to work indefinitely and there are no consequences! What fun!

[schofielded]

schrödinger's mitch mcconnell??

[politijohn]

Source

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

WILD that Mitch McConnell is somehow well enough to have multiple 20 minute conversations discussing intricate diplomatic issues and Senate history, but not well enough to record a 20 second video flashing his constituents a thumbs-up as proof of life.