my tapeworm tells me what to do

bri, 30 ao3

[oopsalloffense]

from notes from hampstead by elias canetti

[oopsalloffense]

Maple Leafs plan to interview Joe Pavelski for head coach vacancy

An unexpected name surfaces in Toronto’s coaching search — Joe Pavelski. According to multiple sources, the Future Hall-of-Famer is on the

elliotte friedman and john chayka are trying ragebait me specifically right now. i’ll set fire to your wisconsin badgers jersey, big joe. don’t play with me.

[lilyflxwers]

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know

[hazel3017]

hazel, do you know which article it is that's all 'sid never says anything interesting, he answers a question by telling us what we already know, but we all hang onto his every word anyway'? Thank you!

Is it this one? I’ve always love this extract about him; it’s so fantastically true:

As a rule, Crosby does his interviews while sitting. Like all genuinely strong people, he prefers the weaker position. It’s hard to badger a guy from above.

We all cluster around his locker ready to be charmed by his presence. We know he won’t say anything interesting. Crosby is an interesting guy, but he has excised that part of himself for public consumption.

There’s no advantage for Crosby to be seen as edgy or slightly ahead of conventional thinking. Few players have ever so ruthlessly exploited advantages like Crosby does.

He’s asked about a couple of the day’s Hall of Fame inductees – Dominik Hasek and Peter Forsberg. Crosby has learned the experienced interviewee’s trick of repeating your question back to you as a statement. Hasek was “unbelievable.” Forsberg “loved to compete.” This doesn’t mean anything, but everyone nods like Crosby’s handing out stone tablets.

Someone brings up the slow fade of the enforcer – a topic with small potential for controversy. Crosby says, “That’s just the way the game’s evolved. Everyone adjusts accordingly. There’s definitely been some change. That’s just one of the many things that, with time, you see changes.”

You ask him about the disappearance of fighting, and Crosby tells you fighting is disappearing. It’s a hell of a trick.

So is he for it? Or against it? Does he care either way? No one has any idea. We all keep nodding. - Article

[talahui]

the original link to the article didn’t work for me, so here’s an updated one

Kelly: Sid the Kid saved hockey, and he’s as inscrutable as ever

Crosby remains whatever we want him to be and reporters hang on his every pronouncement, even as he says nothing

& here’s a link for those who don’t subscribe to the globe and mail

[apoemaday]

Something I've Not Done

by W.S. Merwin

Something I've not done is following me I haven't done it again and again so it has many footsteps like a drumstick that's grown old and never been used

In late afternoon I hear it come closer at times it climbs out of a sea onto my shoulders and I shrug it off losing one more chance

Every morning it's drunk up part of my breath for the day and knows which way I'm going and already it's not done there

But once more I say I'll lay hands on it tomorrow and add its footsteps to my heart and its story to my regrets and its silence to my compass

[dawn-phoenix]

Kris Letang #58 and Evgeni Malkin #71 of the Pittsburgh Penguins celebrate with teammate Sidney Crosby #87 after Crosby’s goal in the second period against the Detroit Red Wings during Game Four of the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals at Mellon Arena on June 4, 2009 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by [1] Dave Sandford/NHLI via Getty Images, [2] Reuters)

[shezgotgame]

golden state valkyries guard veronica burton

[avus-circuit]

PWHL Salaries Distribution Chart

Here is a chart showing the distribution of PWHL player salaries by the range they fall under. 45 players make salaries in the 37,000-39,999 range. 128 make under $60,000.

[mack-will]

sid's postgame interview: may 26, 2026

↳ requested by anonymous

[robindrake13]

🐧🐧

[crosbe]

[x]

[oopsalloffense]

there's a very pernicious way people in men's sports fandoms use real life victims of sexual violence as a prop in their online debates that i find to be quite distasteful tbh. and it's so common! maybe i'm just an unforgivable militant feminist dyke or whatever, but i don't think you're actually the moral victor if you're decrying one violent misogynist in defense of another.

[top-cheese]

ok whore

[top-cheese]

:)

[top-cheese]

:))

[top-cheese]

thank u @freebooter4ever

[oopsalloffense]

read on ao3!

[sidgeno || 6.4k || rated E]

tags: non-linear narrative, ambiguous/open ending, mild horror, unreliable narrator, porn, humiliation kink, stanley cup playoffs, the inescapable umbra of the relentless march of time

new fic! feat. timeline-y nonsense, sid and geno having nasty sex and bickering the whole while, and gratuitous talk of other pittsburgh professional sports teams. tiny teaser below the cut!

Geno traipses across the room to stand in front of Sid on the bike. “You come out with us tomorrow night?”

No matter the outcome tonight, being here means he gets to keep playing, means these are still his boys. A night out with them after a mandatory off-day sounds good. He’s just about to say as much when Geno drops a hand over where Sid’s is wrapped around the handlebars of the bike.

He’s looking down at where his wide thumb is sweeping over Sid’s knuckles when he continues, “And maybe you come with me after?”

Again, Sid thinks, What the fuck?

He stops pedaling. Very eloquently, he answers, “Uh…”

“It’s not game until Saturday. So is like, maybe okay for you?”

Sid has no fucking clue what Geno is talking about. It’s like Geno is picking up the middle of a conversation he was having with someone else and is expecting Sid to know what the hell is going on.

[mack-will]

ballerina sid

↳ requested by anonymous

[oopsalloffense]

hi! i just wanted to say that i followed you over from bandom and i was so excited to see you posted weird horror again. you're one of the best writers i've ever read at describing something being wrong and uncomfortable and i have missed your voice! i'm so happy to see your name in my inbox again! :)

SHRIEK!!!!!!!! i wish text could accurately relay the stupid noise of joy i made reading this message lmao. i'm so so happy that you're coming along with me to new lands!!!! what an honor!!!!!! i always worry that i'm typecasting myself when i share something that's basically the fic version of that post about twilight zone episodes ending with rod serling being like, "wouldn't it be fucked up if that happened? anyways i'm rod serling", so i'm relieved to hear that at least it's appreciated by someone. anon, you've made my whole week, i hope you know 💛

[oopsalloffense]

have i said how important it is to me that geno has an underbite and sid has an overbite. fitting their mouths together like puzzle pieces.