Do you fear your partner’s friendly intimacy with another will detract from their intimacy with you?
Or decrease the value of their intimacy with you?
When did you experience love not to be limitless?
When was love conditional that you should’ve experienced it to be the opposite?
Have you allowed yourself to feel the hurt from that?
Do you doubt that you’re as good as others?
Where do you feel insecure?
If what you fear happened or your partner did leave, what are you scared would happen?
That you’ll feel the pain?
Why are you afraid of the pain?
That you’ll be alone with yourself?
Why are you afraid of that?
Have you ever tried to be alone with yourself?
Have you ever seen what’s on the other side of your hurt or discomfort?
Have you ever gone towards it instead of away?
Have you sat in it and seen it pass?
Do you feel that they’re your only source of love?
Do you doubt finding love again?
Do you doubt your own love to be enough for you?
Do you doubt that you deserve your own love?
What does your jealousy feel like? Is it accompanied with a sting of hurt and fear of being left behind? Or with anger? Both?
What do these emotions feel like? Tight? Pressure? Prickling?
Where do you feel them in your body? In your chest? Your stomach? Shoulders?
With the attention on the parts of your body, they’re present in, tell them:
“It’s okay to feel jealous. I give you space to be here, you have all the time you need. I love you, it’s okay.”
Feel how everything changes the second you allow your feelings to be, and give them space.
You’re not telling the jealousy that you love it, you’re telling what once hurt you that still aches that you love it, and that’s exactly what the jealousy is crying for and needs. You’re giving yourself the freedom to feel and be.
Jealousy comes from a lack of self-love, trust issues towards others, but also lack of trust in your own worth. This lack of self-love results in doubt of another loving you, because it’s not the perceived reality for you. And the lack of trust manifests as a need for control.
— Put a silent alarm on your phone every day to ask you: “What are the reasons I love myself so much?”
PRACTICE FOR LETTING GO OF CONTROL:
— Take what people say at face value. Don’t try to force out a truth that might not be a truth. If you feel you can’t take your partner’s words at face value, ask yourself if they should be your partner or if you’re ready for a relationship.
If you want more personalized questions for introspection, understanding your feelings and getting closer to yourself about this or other emotions feel free to message me.
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