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maxmundan

As she was walking out the door I looked at her eyes, still wet with tears and I told her I loved her, even though I had no idea what those words meant They were just words, spoken in hope of relieving my guilt the tiniest bit We had something between us some emotional super glue creating an airtight bond holding us together but you couldn’t call it love How can you love someone and ask them to do the things I knew she was doing to keep us from getting sick? to keep us high? She had lied to me telling me she was only stripping only taking off her clothes that it hadn’t gone any further that it wouldn’t go any further they would never be allowed to touch, to debase, to spoil and I , in turn, lied to myself that I believed she was telling the truth but what was there to do? I watched her go and I tried to yell, “Stop. Don’t go. You don’t need to do this. We’ll find another way. We’ll beat this thing. You and me. Together.” That’s what I should have said What I would have said had I loved her but no sound came out of my open mouth and in the end I shut the door and let her walk away

Max Mundan, Words Spoken and Words Left Unsaid

Purchase my book, “JUNKIES DIE ALONE“ on Amazon or iTunes.

(via maxmundan)