Twenty-three Knives @orangejols - Tumblr Blog

ten years of fighting and when shit hits the fan tumblr instantly has reddit's back. the greatest enemies to lovers story ever told.

max1461

you understand

batman-katflap

One day, Clark is bored at work so he messages Bruce saying as much, hoping they could talk for a bit to help pass the time.

What he did not expect was for Bruce to tweet 'ostriches arn't real'.

The office becomes alive with activity. Perry marches over and tells Clark to write an article about how one of the richest men in the world does not believe a bird exists.

The interview?

Clark Kent: "Would you care to elaborate on what you meant about not believing ostriches exist?"

Bruce Wayne: "No."

Others then ask Bruce what his thoughts on other birds are. Penguins? Real. Flamingos? Not real. Pigeons? Some are, some arn't. It depends.

On the upside Clark's afternoon became a whole lot less boring. On the downside there is now a Twitter account called 'BirdsBruceWThinksArntReal'.

hedgiwithapen

“robins?” clark asks as the last question. “robins aren’t birds.”

spoopyspoony

patronsaintofgotham

The explosion community is dying btw. Reblog to blow up the person you're reblogging this from

writing-prompt-s

As the Royal Oracle it is your job to write a prophecy every time a noble child is born. However when you are presented with the King’s Heir you foresee that they will achieve nothing of note in their lifetime. In order to keep the King happy you must predict something that sounds impressive.

shady-tavern

Well, that is quite the predicament. On the bright side, the Heir isn’t going to be a tyrant, but considering which royal arse was currently in charge even that grim future would have been a more welcome prediction than being utterly unremarkable.

You poked your things a little, hoping that maybe the little oddly shaped stones might wriggle and fall over to reveal something else. Literally anything else. Well, you supposed the future of being laughing stock could be worse than the current one, but not by much.

You squinted at the baby sleeping peacefully in its crib not too far from you. It hadn’t even fussed over the drop of blood you had taken from it for this. You shuffled over to the baby and gave its cherub cheek a poke.

“Good news, your life won’t be shitty,” you muttered at the child. “But not exciting either, I believe.”

Fortune, of course, was a bit of a fickle thing and there was a certain malleability to every future, no matter how detailed your prophecy might be. Honestly, the main reason why your predictions came true was because people were really, really fucking good at the whole self-fulfilling-prophecy-thing. The rest of the time royalty still did what they were told because there were extremely few people who’d leave the lap of luxury, even if their lives might have improved spiritually or emotionally.

Still, all that musing changed nothing about your current predicament. At least you were the only one capable of reading these little bullshit stones who you swore were grinning up at you innocently.

Keep reading

chromorbid

"bears repeating" and "time flies" are two kinds of creatures that fill similar ecological niches

lakevida

would you rather be on a five hour drive with a thomas sanders fan or a hazbin hotel fan. and you can’t crash the car i’m sorry

fortooate

thomas sanders fan because they might be hung. gimme another

karrakazz

got any rationale for this or is it more of an intuitive thing

fortooate

honestly i gauge all situations with a ‘will this involve me sucking dick’ metric and a five-hour two-person car trip is a high background reading so i’m mostly playing in the margins here? but thomas sanders is theater kid is horny is might be hung whereas hazbin hotel is not unhorny but horny in a currency i don’t accept. i hope you can understand.

karrakazz

i dont, but you seem to, and thats what matters