a small apartment on the wrong side of the city. one moment of raw intimacy leads to an attempt to bridge the gap, where pride gets in the way, turning a quiet night into a harsh reality check neither of you saw coming.
6.1K
warnings: emotional distance, miscommunication, unlabelled relationship, friends to benefits?, angst, harsh words, hurtful dialogue, pride & boundaries, class differences, reader's poor attempt at comforting explicit sexual content/smut: oral sex (f & m receiving), over stimulation, hickeys/marking, unprotected p in v, cowgirl/riding position, creampie, slow to rough sex, biting, hair pulling, subtle praise, mild degradation, passionate sex, neck grabbing, teasing, size difference/size handling, missionary sex, brief power play, vulnerability conflict, accusations.
no proofread yet!
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝
there was no musty or aging odor here, only the faint, familiar scent of his fragrance that you’d grown used to smelling on him, especially when you hugged him.
you never thought you’d set foot on this side of the city, a little apart from the center, but still within it, tucked among charming buildings, though not inside one of those.
he lived in one of those low-slung, house like structures that people usually chose out of sheer affordability.
you had braced yourself for a dingy, eerie atmosphere, but it was less like that than you’d imagined.
his place even had a tiny courtyard leading to the front door. the interior was another surprise entirely. james never gave the impression of being untidy, his modest appearance was always put together. but knowing him, his life for a while now, you had expected a cluttered space, especially in a neighborhood like this.
stepping inside, you were greeted by a plain room with creamy white walls, a small plastic window sat across from the entrance. to your right, an open door offered a glimpse into what you guessed was his bedroom. beside it stood an aged brown couch facing a television, a detail that caught you off guard. in front of the couch sat a compact coffee table with peeling paint, its surface holding a neat stack of books.
an old wooden shelf lined with various odds and ends drew your attention, taking up the last remaining space in the room. there was hardly any room left to decorate anyway. turning to your left, you noticed a nook-like kitchen area. it was slightly disheveled; james had clearly been in a rush when he left that morning.
you always tried not to let your face show anything, no matter his lifestyle, no matter what surrounded him. calling it a lifestyle even felt wrong, considering he’d been more or less forced into it by fate’s cruel games.
so, as you stepped in and swept your gaze over the room, you said nothing and sat down cautiously on the couch, which gave a soft groan under your weight. james followed you in from the door, carrying the bags of food you had picked up together, and set them down on the small table.
“well, make yourself at home. i’ll be right back,” he said softly, a gentle contrast to his usual sharp, decisive tone.
you nodded, your eyes tracking him as he vanished behind his bedroom door. when he reappeared, he had changed out of his clothes and stepped back outside, mentioning he needed to fetch something from the yard.
a few quiet minutes passed as you took in the little space around you, your hands resting neatly on your knees over your skirt. any outsider looking at you, with your glossy hair falling over your shoulders, manicured appearance, and tailored clothes, would instantly know you didn't belong in a place like this. without your sneakers left at the door, the chill of the floor seeped through your socks.
restless, you stood up. not quite meaning to do anything in particular, and drifted toward the window, only to find the view blocked by the adjacent building. turning back, your gaze caught a small pile of laundry resting on the floor beside a low shelf. you strolled over and crouched down, enveloped by the fresh, clean scent drifting off the fabric. they were just his clean clothes, likely waiting to be folded and stored away.
you picked up a shirt, casually folding it, and mindlessly lifted it to your nose, breathing in his scent until it made you feel pleasantly lightheaded. folding and cleaning were things you never bothered with at home, and the sudden impulse surprised even you. before you knew it, you had neatly folded most of the pile.
as you reached for another shirt, james’s voice sounded from the doorway above you.
“you really didn’t have to do that,” he said, a mix of surprise and mild concern lacing his voice.
“it’s no trouble at all. i take it you were in a rush this morning?” you asked, trying to ease the delicate tension hanging in the air during your first visit to his home.
“yeah, i overslept...” he admitted, stepping into the kitchen before popping his head back out. “i left them there so i could deal with them when i got back.”
setting the last folded garment onto the stack, you stood up. “well, it’s already done, so no worries,” you replied with a playful, self-satisfied smile, as if you had just cleaned the entire house for him.
returning to the couch, you sat down and met his gaze.
was that a flicker of soft adoration hiding in his clouded eyes?
you couldn't be entirely sure, so you pushed the thought aside, watching as he dried his hands on a white towel.
he simply stood there, observing you with the trace of a smile playing on his lips.
“i guess i’m going to be hearing that line a lot more from now on,” he murmured with a soft chuckle, tossing the towel back onto the kitchen counter.
you kept your teasing smile, tilting your head and giving a casual shrug. “well, your guest comes over and takes care of your chores for you, what's not to like? you should be grateful.”
he looked back at you, his expression suddenly hard to describe. he began walking toward you, only to freeze mid-step as something crossed his mind.
“oh, i almost forgot to give these back,” he said, gesturing with a nod toward two boxes sitting near the side of the couch. “i told him i’d return them after work.”
he leaned down and hoisted the boxes effortlessly, the strain bringing out the defined veins along his arms. tearing your gaze away from his mouth-watering physique with a bit of effort, you looked up to meet his eyes.
“where are you going?” you asked softly. “will it take long?”
“no, they belong to my neighbor,” he replied gently. “he lives right nearby. i’ll be back in just a couple of minutes.”
he disappeared again as your smile slowly faded, and you glanced around once more. you took the food and drinks out of their plastic bag and laid them out on the table. you turned on the tv, since the two of you had agreed to watch something. as you scrolled through, looking for something interesting, your eyes caught a small figure sitting on the shelf.
you set the remote down and stood up, drawn to look closer at the things on it. that same funny little figure, you remembered giving it to him. alongside it were various items that reflected his hobbies, which you were already familiar with. you picked up a small book, one from a french poet, and wondered if he actually read it, though you wouldn’t have been surprised if he did. beneath the book lay a small notebook with a slip of paper tucked between its pages.
curiosity got the better of you, so you gently pulled it out and found a photograph of a woman. the colors had already faded, making it obvious that the picture was quite old. she was smiling, with a subtle dimple near her slender mouth. your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you could never mistake that smile. she smiled just like james. you stepped closer to the light to see her face more clearly. just as you were about to turn the photo over to check for any written notes, you felt a sudden presence.
you turned your head and flinched, finding james’s eyes already fixed on the photo.
seeing you turn to him, he met your gaze. for a moment you braced for anger, for him to snatch it from your hand and scold you for prying into his personal belongings. but his expression remained entirely blank and unreadable.
you swallowed softly and held the photo out toward him.
“i saw it while looking through your books. sorry, i didn’t mean to,”
you said, embarrassment and irritation tangling together inside you as your own words came out sounding stupid to your ears.
“she’s my mother. my family, you asked about,” he said quietly, that same clouded gaze resting on your bright eyes.
you searched instinctively for any trace of tension in them, remembering how many times you’d asked about his background before, only for him to brush it off or give indifferent answers, until you eventually stopped bringing it up altogether.
"she is beautiful," you smiled, at a loss for words at first.
he slowly took the photo from your hand, his thumb gently brushing across the surface as he gazed at it.
"she is," he agreed softly.
you did not press him with many questions about his mother, though he mentioned that this was one of the few photographs he had left of her.
you could sense a deep longing in him, a feeling you had never witnessed before. this vulnerable moment was a first for you. as you stood beside him, watching a strand of hair fall over his forehead while his eyes remained fixed on the picture, you realized how little the two of you actually knew about each other’s feelings in general.
that had never really been the point of your time together anyway. your meetings had always been emotionally detached encounters, driven by little more than pure desire.
a few moments passed, and soon you found yourself back on the couch, eating and watching the movie you had picked out. you sat close, gently wrapping your arm around him as a subtle gesture of comfort after seeing the photograph. yet, you still felt like you failed to grasp whatever was passing through his mind.
you were simply unfamiliar with feelings like these.
born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you had never known genuine heartache, only the fleeting disappointment of not getting what you wanted when your father refused a request.
james had his left arm draped over the back of the couch behind your head, his gaze locked onto the screen. your arm rested casually across his chest, and your legs lay over his open ones. his free hand rested on your exposed thigh where your skirt had ridden up. his warm fingers brought heat to your cold skin while your cheek pressed against the rhythm of his heartbeat.
your attention had long drifted away from the movie. it was a genre you did not particularly care for, though it held james completely captive. his intense, glossy eyes followed every movement on the screen, making you secretly wish he would give that exact same unwavering attention to you, every second of every day.
the sun had already set, and the faint light coming through the window turned dim and dark, even though it was not late. you silently studied his facial features without breaking his focus, wanting to admire him and indulge in your own quiet mischief without him noticing. you shifted your head slightly upward, adjusting your posture without a sound, until your face was resting right beside the exposed skin of his neck.
you slowly brought your head closer to his neck, your nose barely touching his skin. you rested your head on his shoulder, your lips drifting closer to the soft patch of skin just beneath his ear.
neither of you had mentioned anything about physical intimacy when you decided to come over, though that had never been something you needed to speak aloud. still, you felt a sudden rush of warmth spread through your body, especially as his slender fingers, subtle green veins on his hands, brushed idly against your leg. he always did that whenever the two of you watched something together.
you pressed your face softly into his neck, making it look as though you were simply getting sleepy, and inhaled his scent. he did not pull away or stop what he was doing, continuing to stroke his thumb against your thigh while keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.
soft lips brushed against his skin, not quite kissing him yet. your left hand moved along his shoulder, bringing your index finger up to touch the exact spot your lips had just grazed. then you leaned back in, planting a soft peck against his skin, and then another. you let the tip of your tongue briefly touch his warm skin before sealing it with your lips, pulling a tiny section between them to suck gently, feeling a quiet sense of satisfaction at the faint flush of red beginning to form.
james did not seem to mind at all, allowing his fingers to continue their faint, rhythmic caress.
you pressed against his skin again, firmer this time, as you sucked harder, bringing your teeth and tongue into the fold. you felt his grip instantly tighten on your thigh. his left arm wrapped around your back while his hand cupped your chin, gently tilting your head back and turning your face toward him.
"hm, i thought i asked you not to leave any marks there. i cannot cover those up," he half whispered, his eyes searching yours intently.
"you did not listen to me when i told you the exact same thing last time, though," you replied, arching an eyebrow as you waited for his response.
a tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips. his fingers gently stroked your chin while his other hand remained rested against your thigh.
"because your neck looks much better with them. besides, those sheer scarves you match with your outfits suit you well," he answered softly, holding your gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the television.
"mmm? i never knew you liked those. but i only wear them because you refuse to listen to me," you said, your voice dripping with playful, exaggerated irritation.
he simply smiled at that, showing no remorse whatsoever. fueled by his smug expression, you suddenly leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, then took his lips entirely with yours. it was meant to be nothing more than a brief kiss, but his hand slid up from your leg to cup your face while his other arm wrapped firmly around your waist. he kissed you back deeply, his tongue already pressing against the swell of your lower lip, asking for entry. before you could process it, he deepened the kiss completely. your hands tangled into his hair, one of them caressing the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the strands.
his hand moved from your cheek to shift your weight, lifting you up to sit directly in his lap, facing him completely. the glowing television screen was now behind, casting faint light into the dimly lit room.
the two of you broke the kiss to catch your breath. his hands gently caressed your back before settling onto your hips, while his other hand guided your head down to rest against his chest, his eyes drifting back to the moving figures on the screen.
you let out a soft breath, staying still like that for a moment before raising your head slightly. his sharp jawline rested right beside your face. you raised your hand to his neck, slowly tracing down his silver necklace to the collar of his shirt. two of your fingers lightly felt the firm muscle beneath the fabric as they made their way downward, slowly approaching the waistband of his pants.
only then did you notice the faint bulge forming in his pants, sparking a new idea in your mind.
you slowly slid backward, dropping down to the floor between his parted legs. his head turned down toward you, eyebrows raised in silent question. before any words could leave his mouth, your hands wasted no time pulling his pants and boxers down together, releasing his aching length.
your mouth watered instantly at the sight of his firm, veiny shaft and flushed tip. you let your finger trace him from base to top, pausing at the delicate skin near the head.
you felt his breathing grow slightly uneven. keeping eye contact, you closed the distance between his tip and your lips. his attention was no longer on the screen as he looked down at you, that cocky expression returning to his face.
"missed it that much?" he asked softly.
just as he spoke, you extended your tongue and gave the tip a slow lick, pausing to gauge his reaction. he fell quiet and watched you intently, his length twitching in response.
you took the head of his shaft into your mouth, keeping your lips still while your tongue teased him inside, moving in slow circles around the tip. his hand found your hair, gently applying pressure to guide you deeper.
you complied, taking in as much as you could, though his size made it impossible to take him all the way. he began to caress the hair near your forehead without making a sound, simply watching how eagerly you took him. you did not tease him any longer and began a steady rhythm, your eyes occasionally locking onto his half-closed gaze. he let out a low sigh of relief and sank deeper into the couch as you bobbed up and down, feeling him pulse against your tongue.
a soft, pleasant melody began to play from the movie, contrasting with the quiet intensity between the two of you. his head fell back against the couch, his breathing deep and steady, his chest rising and falling in time with your pace.
all of a sudden, he gently halted the movement of your head and guided his dick out of your mouth, leaving a thin strand of saliva connecting his shaft to your swollen, flushed lips.
leaning down, he gripped your arms firmly and lifted you up into his embrace, hooking his other arm beneath your thighs to support your weight. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, locking your legs around his waist. you felt him lean forward slightly, keeping one arm securely around you while using his free hand to pick up the remote and turn off the television.
you expected him to lay you down on the couch, but instead he carried you into the bedroom, your back settling onto the mattress. the room was lit only by the faint glow spilling from the main room and the soft streetlight filtering through the window, leaving everything in shadow except for james's silhouette. not that anything else mattered to you in that moment.
he took off his shirt by pulling it up over his chest, giving you a clear view of his muscular frame as he moved. his skin caught the dim light, and you watched him with a gaze heavy with desire. he stepped up to the edge of the bed near your feet, while you lay back with your hands resting behind your head.
he looked down at you, his mouth parted slightly, as he pulled the shirt free from his arms and let it drop onto the floor behind him.
he leaned down slowly, resting one arm on the mattress to support his weight while his other hand gripped your ankles, pulling you toward him in one fluid motion.
a quiet gasp escaped your lips at the sudden shift. his fingers slowly traced a path up your legs, reaching the zipper of your skirt. he unzipped and removed it deftly, his eyes meeting yours as a soft sound of approval left your throat. left in your white cotton underwear, you instinctively pressed your thighs closer together. he folded your skirt neatly and set it on a chair nearby before returning to undo the top three buttons of your blouse, exposing the curve of your chest above your bra.
he unbuttoned it carefully, laid it beside your skirt, and then leaned in close to your face. positioned right over you, he watched the flutter of your eyelashes before capturing your lips with his own.
he kissed you softly at first, but soon pressed deeper, taking control of the rhythm. you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers catching the chain of his necklace as you gently pulled him closer.
without breaking the contact of his lips, he trailed a path of wet kisses down along your jaw, moving lower until he found the sensitive spot on your neck. he kissed, licked, and gently sucked the soft skin there before drifting down toward your chest, covering it in slow, deliberate kisses.
unclasping your bra, he hooked a finger under the waistband of your underwear, pushing it down your legs and raising them to slide it off completely.
he left your underwear on the chair with the other clothes and wasted no time. he parted your legs, leaving your center fully exposed and glistening with arousal. before he dived in, you brought his head up to your lips, kissing him one more time.
"i want you now, james, please."
he trailed kisses back down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it, making you lose your mind and arch your back off the mattress.
"mhmm, but i want to taste you first, baby."
there it was. the pet name slipped past his lips, hitting the exact right note to make your core ache even more. you tried to press your thighs back together, but james held them firm, opening them even wider.
he moved down at last, planting a line of kisses down from your chest to your stomach. he did not tease you the way you had done to him earlier; setting aside his usual slow pace, he dived right in, pulling a soft moan from your throat.
his tongue flicked over your clit, licking your folds hungrily before pushing deep into your slick entrance. your body tightened around nothing, desperate for his full length.
watching your overwhelmed state, his tongue took one long, sweeping stroke up your wet center, making your eyes roll back. one finger circled slowly around your opening without going inside, driving you mad with anticipation.
his tongue found your clit once more, pressing firmly against the sensitive nerve, making you let out high-pitched whimpers. he pressed a few quick kisses against your mount before dropping back down to your opening, slipping his tongue in and out to push your frustration to the limit.
your voice filled the dim room, calling his name over and over as he drank you in like a starving man.
you pushed his head closer, your legs tightening around him. sensing that you were right on the edge, he suddenly stopped. he easily forced your legs back down and sat up to look at you, his mouth and nose wet with your slickness, which he wiped away with the back of his hand.
you let out a desperate whine, needing the building heat to finally break. but he only gave you a lopsided smirk, his hands already pulling his briefs down to free his fully erect length.
breathing heavily, you watched him stroke his shaft, his thumb lightly running over the swollen tip.
"what was it that you wanted?" he asked, his own breath still coming fast.
you stared at him in utter disbelief. "i already told you what i wanted," you said, a slight smirk returning to your face as your eyebrows arched.
his expression remained unreadable, his eyes dropping down to watch his hand around his shaft before snapping right back to yours. "i did not really hear anything," he said, squinting slightly as if the room were somehow deafeningly loud. "just some whiny noises. i could not make it out." he smirked again.
you pushed yourself up, supporting your weight on your hands behind you. "i want you to," you glanced down briefly at his dick, "fuck me, james. so well that i forget everything else except the pleasure you give me."
you whispered the words seductively, making him smile, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
expecting him to lean over you, you were surprised when he shifted across the bed and lay flat on his back, gesturing for you to come closer. you obeyed and moved over him. he immediately grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him, dragging your wet center along his hard shaft, drawing a sharp intake of breath from both of you.
you sat up over him, sliding your body against his, leaning down just enough to let him take your nipple into his mouth once more. you began to grind against him, soft moans escaping your lips, your back arched and your head tilted toward the ceiling.
then you felt his fingers slip between your bodies, guiding his tip to your entrance and pushing himself all the way inside.
a soft moan escaped your lips as he filled you completely, his length leaving no room for your walls to breathe.
you began to move slowly, setting your own pace, pulling yourself up until only his tip remained inside before sinking back down all the way to the base.
looking down, you caught his dark, sparkling eyes fixed on your flushed face while he drew your nipple into his mouth. his hands gripped your hips firmly, holding and caressing you with enough pressure that you knew the marks of his fingers would likely stay on your skin later.
the intensity in his eyes sparked a new sensation within you. it was hard to tell what was running through his mind in that moment, aside from the sound of his heavy breathing and quiet, ragged gasps.
releasing your chest from his lips, his hand moved from your hip up to your back, just above your waist, pulling your upper body flush against his chest.
face to face with him, you instinctively reached for his lips. the two of you fell into a deep, desperate kiss. his teeth nipped at your lips while his fingers tangled into your hair, tugging with a rough edge as he snapped his hips upward in a sharp, hard thrust deep into your slick core.
you broke the kiss with a loud moan, your lips stinging from the force of his mouth.
you glanced down at him a moment later. even though you enjoyed his usual roughness, your mind felt slightly hazy from his sudden loss of restraint.
his gaze drifted down to where your bodies met before snapping back to yours, sensing your eyes on him.
the two of you held each other's stare, an intense, quiet tension rising between you that felt entirely distinct from the physical friction of your bodies.
with your arms beginning to ache from supporting your weight, you found yourself waiting for him to break the silence, sensing that he wanted to say or ask something but chose to hold it back.
instead, he deftly flipped you onto your side before rolling over to take the lead. he lifted your legs up over his shoulders and began pounding into you with hard, relentless thrusts.
your voice immediately echoed through the room, mingling with the slick, obscene sounds of your heated, tangled bodies.
his thrusts grew heavier and less rhythmic as he finally released your legs, head tilted back, his mouth parted as he fought for air. then his gaze dropped back to you, thumb suddenly found your clit, applying a steady, circular pressure that pulled a sharp whine from your chest.
you reached up for him, wrapping your arms into the air in an open invitation. he watched your desperate state for a heartbeat before sinking his weight back down, his lips instantly finding yours. james kissed you again and again, slowing his pace just enough to draw out the pleasure.
"i want to feel you come with me, james, please," you pleaded against his mouth, your voice thick with heat as you teetered right on the edge.
he hovered close over your face, his arms planted on either side of your head to frame you. with every deep thrust, the silver chain around his neck swung back and forth, lightly grazing your skin.
feeling the intense pressure building deep in your core, a string of broken sighs and desperate praises spilled from your lips. your hands gripped his back, your nails digging into the smooth muscle of his skin to anchor yourself.
low, gravelly moans began to slip from james’s throat as his own climax threatened to break. he locked his dark eyes onto yours, adjusting his pace to match your frantic rhythm, holding back his own release until he felt your body tighten around him.
the moment your walls pulsed in a hard, overwhelming wave, he drove into you one last time and let go, spilling himself deep inside you. your cries merged with his low, ragged groans, echoing together through the quiet room.
you did not fall asleep right away, though the heavy weight of it settled over your eyelids like a soft veil. you yawned silently, wondering what time it could be. feeling the cool breeze filtering through the window, your eyes drifted toward the faint lights outside, your thoughts already scattering to different corners of your life.
without fully realizing it, your gaze shifted to james lying beside you. one arm was tucked behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, his mind seemingly miles away.
you had just experienced some of the best sex of your life, yet you still could not call him a boyfriend. you could not even call him a friend at this point. after all the moments you had shared like this, you still could not grasp what he truly was to you.
it happened sometimes. in the quiet aftermath, your mind would turn gloomy, asking silent questions about your relationship and life, only to find no real answers.
whenever this mood set in, you stopped searching for clarity and instead comforted yourself with what you had, knowing you had far fewer things to worry about than most people.
or perhaps it was simply because james carried his own heavy burdens in life.
whenever you remembered what he went through, your own troubles felt like insignificant, unwanted pebbles along a smooth path. his quiet fight to keep going even inspired you to do the same at times.
feeling the ache in your muscles, you found it hard to get up, but you forced yourself to move and search for your clothes. after slipping into your bra and underwear, you stepped into the other room to retrieve your phone, squinting slightly against the dark to check the time. noticing the bathroom door inside his bedroom, you slipped inside to take care of yourself before coming back out to pick up your skirt.
"you are not staying?"
james's soft voice pulled you sharply out of your thoughts. your own surprised expression mirrored the look on his face.
"you seem to want me around a lot today, huh?" you let out a shaky smile, trying to keep the mood light.
his unreadable expression did not shift as he watched you step into your skirt and pull your blouse over your head.
"it is getting late, and i thought you would be tired," he said, gesturing toward you with his hand as his eyes met yours.
"i am..." you admitted, smoothing down your hair while making a mental note to take a long shower the moment you got home. "...but i have things to do tomorrow. i have to wake up early."
finding a mirror across the room, you flipped a small switch to turn on the light, wincing slightly as the brightness hit your eyes. you stepped in front of the glass and turned around, offering yourself a tight smile as you confirmed everything was back in order.
his eyes never left your reflection. he stood up slowly from the bed, his dark gaze tracking your every move in the mirror.
you left the bedroom to find your handbag, rummaging through it for your favorite candy and popping one into your mouth. behind, you heard james moving as he dressed, his footsteps fading into the small kitchen.
you wandered back into his room to make sure you had not left anything behind, when a sudden, heavy impulse washed over you.
you wondered if he needed money this time around, even though he would never admit it to you. when you arrived earlier, he had bought all the food himself. it had made you uncomfortable; you could not help wanting to provide everything yourself. under normal circumstances, you would never worry about a man spending money on you, but every time james did, an unnamed ache in your chest grew stronger.
you could so easily cover it all, if only he would let you.
opening your bag again, you pulled out your purse. scrolling through the different cards shining under your fingers, you caught sight of a few crisp bills tucked inside. you pulled them out, noting that the amount was more than eight times the cost of the food he had bought.
hesitating for a fraction of a second, terrified of how he might react, you quickly set the cash down on his nightstand and tiptoed out of the room.
you stood near the front door just as james stepped out of the kitchen, taking you in. moving closer to the exit, you let out a hurried "bye," trying to leave before he could stop you. behind you, he was already heading toward his room to grab his jacket, calling out, "wait, how are you getting back? cab?"
you stepped outside, closing the door behind you, and bent down to pull your sneakers on properly.
the air had a crisp, cool bite to it, the leaves on a nearby tree swaying softly in the breeze. you took a few steps into the yard, but the heavy main door suddenly creaked open behind you.
"wait."
you froze.
turning around slowly, you saw him walking toward you, stopping just short of your space. his hand held the paper money you had left behind.
james’s eyes were narrowed, as if he did not for a second believe you had simply forgotten the cash by his bed. his face was tight with quiet fury.
"uh, what happened?" you asked softly, trying to play it off.
he scoffed in disbelief, his head turning to the side before his dark brown eyes snapped back to yours, deeper and colder than before.
"this happened," he said, tilting the bills in his hand as he took another step closer. "what is this supposed to mean?"
the tension in the air made you deeply uneasy. "it was for the food... and, well, yeah."
you hated the way you stuttered, feeling entirely unlike yourself. but you knew how much he despised any talk of money, especially between the two of you. he had always politely shut it down whenever you tried to bring it up.
"did i ask you to pay for anything?" he asked, his tone hardening, making your eyebrows rise in shock.
"or are you paying me for sex?"
at his harsh words, your tired eyes snapped wide open. the accusation felt like a physical blow.
"what? obviously not!"
"obviously?" he repeated bitterly.
you stared at the money gripped tightly in his hand, his tall frame towering over you in the dim courtyard light.
"look, do not take this as pity or anything," you tried to explain, your voice desperate to fix the shift between you. "i just know how quickly things can get hard—"
"you know nothing," he cut you off sharply. "you know nothing about me, and i do not want you getting involved in my life like this."
he grabbed your hand and forcefully shoved the money back into your palm.
you stood there completely stunned, your mouth opening and closing as scorching heat rushed to your face. embarrassment, hurt, and sudden anger twisted together inside your chest.
"right," you spat out, your voice laced with venom. "maybe this is exactly what you deserve."
without waiting for a response, you spun around and marched out of his courtyard. your steps were sharp and fast, your lips pressed into a hard line, a dark frown covering your face.
behind you, there was no sound, no footsteps following after you.
only the cold glow of the streetlights guiding your frantic pace into the night.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
a/n: had this idea for a while ;) especially with james. the plot kind of grew more than I planned. any comments & ideas are appreciated as they motivate me to share more of these stories that come to my mind.
“but I’m sure beating me sounds a lot more fun to you than standing next to me. Doesn’t it?”
ch. 2
synopsis: you've spent years proving you're one of the strongest debaters in every room. Nishimura Riki has spent just as long making sure you never forget he thinks otherwise. when a policy project forces your rival teams into direct competition, old tensions begin to blur into something neither of you is willing to acknowledge. he knows exactly which buttons to press. unfortunately, he keeps pressing the right ones.
nebu's note: couldn't get this Niki out of my head. time to set him free.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
After fixing your lip gloss, you tucked the mirror back into the front pocket of your bag. You cast a brief glance around the hall before your eyes landed on your group. You were all preparing for a project that would decide most of your grade in the class. There were five of you, not all close friends outside of this, but you’d all agreed to actually put in the work and earn the mark you wanted.
As they traded thoughts back and forth, a few pairs of eyes drifted toward you. You met their gazes with quiet confidence and laid a large sheet of paper out in front of them.
“Okay, team. Your leader has everything planned.” You said it with a small wink on the last word, letting them know exactly how you’d gotten the reading list, a little charm, a little reputation, and the professor had handed it over without much convincing. “I’ve already mapped out the first sections, who’s focusing on what, and where to find and analyze everything. Including a few books straight from the professor.”
They looked relieved, leaning in to inspect the paper. One of them snapped a photo and started searching something up.
“You think the other groups pulled the same move?” Isaac asked, smirking at Jay beside him.
“Nah, man, I doubt it.” Jay grinned, catching your eye. “That’s exactly why I’m here in the first place.”
You raised your left eyebrow at Jay, already preparing a retort, when Olivia cut in, awkward and a little shy. “I’m sure Niki’s group has something prepared too.” Their usual rivals.
At the mention of the name, Isaac’s smile dropped, and he rolled his eyes. You felt something prickle beneath your skin, a flicker of stress you didn’t want to admit to.
“I mean - not to lower our expectations or anything,” Olivia added quickly, arms opening in a small, placating gesture, voice soft as she tried to explain herself. “Just saying we should stay prepared.”
“Don’t worry.” You cut in, steady. “I’m very confident in my team. Even if some of you are only here to fill your bag with credit.” You shot Jay a look, one corner of your mouth curling upward. “We’re going to be at the top.”
Jay leaned back in his chair, pressing his lips together, smirking, before raising both hands in mock surrender, as if accepting whatever fate had in store for him.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Isaac said, nodding toward you and grinning at Jay.
Your fifth member, Amelia, arrived just then, setting down a stack of journals. Jay let out a low whistle and immediately snatched one off the top. You glanced around at the rest of them, a satisfied smile settling on your face.
The hall buzzed with overlapping voices, laughter, different groups scattered across the room. Some plotting strategy, some just eating and killing time before their own presentations. The heavy doors at the far end kept swinging open and shut.
“There he is,” Jay said, quiet, almost offhand. You didn’t even need to lift your head to know exactly who he meant.
Your friends turned to look anyway. Amelia muttered, “Mister Knows Everything,” in the tone of an old, well-worn nickname.
“What a proud loser,” Isaac said, mostly to Jay, watching the scene with open disdain. “Acting like he built this university himself.”
You couldn’t help it, your eyes flicked briefly to the right, pen still turning idly between your fingers.
Nishimura Riki, leader of one of your most competitive rival groups, lifted his head and scanned the back rows of the hall, eyes narrowing slightly as he searched for his friends. Once he’d found them, he made his way over, unhurried, graceful, moving like someone who had never once questioned whether a room would make space for him. His left hand stayed in his pocket, his right holding a slim notebook with a loose paper tucked inside. His dark blue zip-up caught the light as he walked, half-open over a plain white t-shirt, his accessories — a watch, something at his neck — catching the light along with it. His hair looked freshly cut, sharp, deliberate. He didn’t look particularly tired. He never looked particularly anything, you noted to yourself, a little bitterly. You hated how much your body still reacted to him being in the room.
He sat down and pulled out his phone without sparing much attention for anyone around him, then turned it toward a friend to show something. A few of them smirked, someone else said something back. His friend Alice, the girl who somehow ended up in every one of his group projects, glanced up without meaning to and caught your eye instead. You both looked away almost at the same moment.
You and your group agreed silently to keep watching. The days ahead were shaping up to be interesting. And heavy.
-•-
You let yourself feel the light breeze drifting in through the window to your left as you sat in the library, your table pulled up close beside it. You massaged the side of your head a little, tired from hours of reading, and answered one of Amelia’s questions on your phone before setting it aside.
You already knew who would be handling what. Amelia, your best friend, the girl of your dreams, had already thrown herself into her chosen section. The two of you had been genuinely happy to end up in the same group after so many activities and projects together over the years; finally, you got the chance to actually work side by side.
Isaac, a friend from an earlier chapter of your life, had earned your trust across many different situations along the way. Amelia liked to tease him constantly. He never seemed to care much about proving himself to other people, but when he’d asked to be part of your team, you had decided to give it a chance.
Jay was his friend, and admittedly a bit of a controversial pick. He’d been part of several rival teams in the past, but he’d presented himself well the last time you’d worked near him, so you figured he was worth the risk.
Olivia was reserved, maybe even a little timid; she rarely spoke up during debates, but she poured her whole heart into the actual work behind the scenes. She was, without a doubt, one of the smartest students in your entire class.
You, yourself had already proven your worth through countless battles — debates, projects, presentations — and no one had a bad word to say about you leading the team. Even in rival groups, you had familiar, friendly faces scattered here and there, which made most rivalries feel more playful than serious.
The same could not be said for Niki’s team, though. Nearly every one of them carried themselves like they were simply better than everyone else in the room.
You opened the book in front of you, its cover stamped with bold gold lettering that spelled out DIPLOMACY, and scanned through the table of contents, searching for the word liberalism. Your eyebrows furrowed when you realized this particular copy didn’t contain the exact passage you needed.
You pushed yourself up from your chair, feeling a dull ache settle into your sides. You’d been sitting there more than an hour now without moving. Around you, the space was closed in by tall bookshelves and a scattering of study carrels, walling you off from the rest of the room. The library had barely any people in it when you’d arrived, and this particular corner worked to your advantage. Everything you might need was tucked into the shelves close by, in case you had to dig for additional sources later.
You pulled your hair back into a ponytail and smoothed down your skirt, its hem sitting just at your mid-thigh, not too short, you reassured yourself. The room felt warmer than you expected, so you unbuttoned and slipped off your sleeved shirt, left now in only a fitted white top, not obscenely tight, just enough to be noticeable. You wandered along the rows of shelves, growing more and more frustrated that you still hadn’t found the exact books you needed. As you walked, you nearly smacked your palm to your forehead in irritation. You doubled back to the same shelf you’d already picked through once, scanning the spines again carefully. You wet your bottom lip, hands settling on your hips, glancing downward for some kind of step ladder. Realizing there wasn’t one nearby, and not wanting to waste time hunting one down, you decided to just reach for it yourself, pressing your fingers against the edge of the shelf for balance.
Your fingertips had barely brushed against the spine of the book, breath shallow from the effort, the air around you thin and dry, thick with the smell of old paper that always made your stomach turn faintly, when a long arm suddenly appeared right beside your own, reaching effortlessly past you and lifting the book down with ease.
You flinched hard, nearly letting out a full scream, what actually escaped you was closer to a small, startled whine. The stranger’s other hand found your waist immediately after, not the polite, reflexive touch of someone simply steadying another person from falling, but something firmer, holding you there and pulling you back against him instead. For one long second, you stood completely frozen, heart pounding hard in your chest. But there was no mistaking that scent. No mistaking the pale skin of the arm now beside yours, his jacket sleeve scrunched up just enough to reveal the veins along his wrist, several rings catching the light on his fingers. Niki.
Then, all at once, you felt his breath right against your ear, low and deliberate.
“You don’t know anything about being careful, do you?”
You could hear the mockery in it instantly. That same maddening undertone he always carried, the one that made something hot and furious rise in your chest every single time. His voice, that close, that low, sent something fluttering low through your body, down to the most sensitive, involuntary part of you. Your body never seemed to respond to him any differently, as if his breath alone was something it had been quietly starving for.
Your brows drew together, anger sparking fully now. You dropped your arm and shoved backward against him with the back of it. He stepped back slightly, and only then did you notice he still had the book firmly in hand.
“I don’t need you telling me how to be careful,” you snapped, turning to face him.
He raised an eyebrow without even looking at you, eyes fixed instead on the book’s cover. “If I hadn’t caught you, you’d probably be on the floor right now. Ugly-crying, most likely.”
You scoffed, loud. “Oh, my savior. What would I do without you.” You said it mockingly, aiming straight for the parts of him that irritated easiest. “Give me my book back.”
He finally lifted his eyes from the cover, turning fully to face you. Taking in the flush on your cheeks, the way your chest rose and fell with every breath, your skirt sitting perfectly against your legs, exactly the length he seemed to like best. You tilted your chin up to hold his gaze properly, not that you were particularly short yourself. He studied your raised brows, your irritated eyes, slightly parted lips.
“I’d honestly love to see what would’ve happened if I hadn’t caught you,” he said finally. “Guess I’ll just have to save that for next time.”
Something hot pulsed through your chest, anger and something else tangled together, and you reached for the book anyway. Niki straightened further, holding it just out of reach, swinging it lightly between two fingers. “I don’t remember this,” he said, sparing the cover a brief glance, “belonging to you.”
Irritated beyond words, you pressed your lips into a thin line, wetting them once more before crossing your arms tightly in front of you, the exact stance of someone trying to reason patiently with a stubborn, misbehaving child. He noticed, of course, and a sarcastic smile spread across his face, his mischievous eyes narrowing even further.
“What? Working so hard for your little team? Building up all that trust?” He let the words settle before continuing, watching you search for some way to take the book back. “Even to the point of turning down my offer, after that empty promise you gave me.”
Your eyes widened, mouth already opening to fight back against the accusation, but he was already closing the distance between you, slow and deliberate, until your back met the shelf behind you.
You watched his mouth, the sharp line of his jaw now visibly tightening.
“When the hell did I ever give you a promise?” You paused. “All I said was that I’d think about it. And then I said no.”
He smiled, pressing his lips together. “Exactly. Unless you didn’t actually think about it at all. Just left me hanging while you ran off to build your little army of wannabe soldiers behind my back. If Alice hadn’t caught you alone, you never would’ve said a word to me. But I’m sure beating me sounds a lot more fun to you than standing next to me. Doesn’t it?”
Your cheeks flushed even deeper, your composure slipping further under his proximity, his sharp words, the low edge in his voice.
“You know exactly why I don’t want to be on your team. You disrespect me, my friends, and you still expect me to work for you?”
“Hmm,” he seemed to grow impatient at the word ‘friends’, letting out a low hum. “But do your heartfelt friends know how you kiss me?” His voice dropped further. “How tightly you hold onto my arms, how loud you get when you say my name?”
With every word, his face drew closer, boxing you further into the small space between the shelves. By now he’d set the book down on the nearby table, his right hand landing beside your face, eyes locked intensely on yours.
Your patience snapped. Trapped, breathless, anger surging up fast, you raised your hand to shove him back — not quite ready to slap him outright, though his eyes seemed to dare you to. You used every bit of strength you had, only for him to catch your wrist and turn you effortlessly, lifting you off the ground, one arm sliding beneath your legs.
Screaming for help felt somehow more humiliating than whatever was actually happening. In that moment, you couldn’t think straight enough to do either.
He carried you to your table and set you down, surprisingly gentle, before pressing himself against your back. You were grateful, almost painfully so, to finally feel the air from the window fill your lungs again, right up until his hands settled around you once more.
Niki rested his chin on your shoulder, glancing over the scattered papers and books in front of you. He straightened them, nudging every stray page and book back into a neat, even line. Then he turned his head, impossibly close to yours, close enough that for a second you were certain he meant to close the distance to your lips entirely. Instead, hovering right at the edge of that almost-kiss, he murmured against your skin:
“I hope you work hard, my little, lovely, dear rival Y/n.” He let the words drag against your pulse point, lips grazing skin without ever quite kissing it. “I’ll be waiting patiently to see the look on that pretty face of yours when I’m done wiping the floor with your little project.”
The sudden loss of his warmth at your back made your knees give out slightly, and you sank into your chair. He slipped out from between the shelves, book in hand, entirely unbothered, like nothing had happened at all.
Only once he was out of sight did you attempt to gather yourself, shoving papers and pencils aside, some of them clattering softly to the floor.
He knew exactly which buttons to press.
You were determined to prove he was not the only one who could.
in which: an ordinary electronics store becomes a place you keep returning to, not because of what’s sold inside, but because of who’s waiting behind the counter. especially when he smiles like that.
6.2k
includes: non-idol au, salesman keonho, strangers to lovers, teens, awkward flirting, shared favorite artist, lots of smiling, mutual pining, soft romance, first kiss, skinship, making out, reader acts shy, fluff, cortis, martin playing matchmaker without permission, yearning, mild jealousy
a quick note to make sure: this fic is in no way intended to romanticize relationships involving minors. all characters are written as adults (18). if anything in the story comes across differently than intended, please let me know.
✧.* ✧.* ✧.*
you pushed your sunglasses up onto your head and glanced around one last time. if you remembered correctly, there was an electronics store somewhere along this street. it was part of your usual route to college, yet somehow you’d never actually stepped inside.
your gaze swept over the row of buildings until it landed on a small, cozy-looking shop tucked between two larger ones. a couple of employees were carrying boxes of furniture inside, while the familiar blue sign next door caught your attention.
there it was.
after checking for oncoming traffic, you crossed the street and headed toward the entrance.
the midday sun warmed your skin. you wore a light brown skirt with a thin matching jacket layered over a simple white shirt. pinned to the lapel of your jacket was a tiny embroidered star, small enough to go unnoticed by most people, yet somehow your favorite little detail.
before stepping inside, you opened your phone and used the black screen as a mirror. your eyes immediately found the tiny crack running along the edge of your screen protector. it wasn’t even that noticeable anymore, but once you’d seen it, you couldn’t stop thinking about it.
that was one of the reasons you were here. your old earphones had finally given up after years of loyal service, and while you were at it, you figured you might as well replace the cracked screen protector too. better to let someone else do it than trust your own clumsy hands.
as the glass door swung open, a cool rush of air-conditioning washed over you, instantly relieving you from the summer heat. your eyes wandered across rows of neatly displayed gadgets, colorful phone cases, speakers, keyboards, and accessories lining the shelves. the store was much quieter than you’d expected, especially compared to the crowds you’d seen through the windows a few evenings ago.
you drifted toward one of the display shelves, scanning the products in search of the earphone section. the deeper you walked into the store, the more you noticed dozens of little gadgets you never knew existed, yet somehow suddenly felt tempted to buy.
finally, you spotted it. rows of earphones and headphones filled the shelves.
stepping closer to the counter, your attention lingered on the different designs, colors, and tiny details decorating each box. there were far more choices than you’d expected.
only then did you notice someone crouched behind the counter.
a boy was kneeling in front of an open drawer, organizing product boxes with quick, practiced movements. his fingers worked effortlessly as he sorted everything into place. a few strands of dark hair had fallen over his forehead, framing features that somehow looked softer under the bright store lights.
as if sensing your presence, he looked up. your eyes met. then came one of the warmest smiles you’d ever seen.
he rose to his feet, absentmindedly smoothing the front of his shirt before stepping closer to the counter.
“hi,” he greeted. “how can i help you?”
his voice was just as gentle as his smile, carrying an easy warmth that immediately put you at ease.
“hi.”
you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear unconsciously, before glancing toward the display behind him.
“i was looking for a new pair of earphones.”
he nodded, watching you for a moment before turning toward the shelves.
“do you have a specific pair in mind?”
“um…” you paused for a second. “actually, i could use some recommendations. i don’t really know the differences… other than sound quality.”
as you spoke, he’d already turned back to the display, listening attentively while scanning the shelves.
“got it,” he muttered with a nod. “give me a second.”
he lined up several different pairs in front of you, and you couldn’t help but watch his slender fingers skim over the boxes, quickly checking model numbers before bending down to search for a few more. once he seemed satisfied, he placed each box neatly on the counter before resting both hands against it. he gave the selection one last glance before looking back at you from beneath his perfectly shaped eyebrows.
“wow…” you let out a short chuckle. “that’s… a lot of options.”
your fingers brushed over a few of the boxes before your eyes found his again.
“i take it the price makes quite a difference?”
“well…” he smiled. “it definitely can, but it really depends.”
he tapped one of the boxes lightly.
“what do you usually use them for? music, podcasts, calls?”
“mostly music.”
his smile widened almost instantly.
“are you the kind of person who listens on the way to class…” he tilted his head slightly, “…or the kind who has music playing almost every hour of the day? like…” he pointed a thumb toward himself. “…me.”
you couldn’t help but smile.
“if sound quality is important to you,” he continued, sliding three boxes closer, “i’d probably recommend these. this one’s a little more expensive, but these two are great choices as well.”
he looked back at you.
“how much are you looking to spend?”
being someone who never minded spending a little extra on anything related to music, you told him the price range you’d been aiming for.
he nodded immediately.
“then i’d go with this one.”
you looked over the options once more before glancing back up.
“do i… get to try them?”
“of course.”
he crouched behind the counter again and searched through one of the drawers before pulling out two display models.
“here.”
holding one in each hand, he waited for you to choose.
as you reached for them, your fingers brushed lightly against his.
you quickly slipped them into your ears before unlocking your phone. without thinking much of it, you played the last song you’d been listening to.
the familiar melody filled your ears.
almost instinctively, your eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment, your brows drawing together ever so slightly as you focused on the sound. you listened carefully, paying attention to every little detail before giving a small nod of approval.
when you opened your eyes again, you found him watching you.
one elbow rested on the counter while his chin leaned against the back of his hand. there wasn’t any particular expression on his face, just a soft smile that was almost impossible to notice unless you looked closely.
the moment your eyes met, he straightened.
“so?” he asked, smiling. “how are they?”
“they’re actually really good.”
there was a brief pause.
he opened his mouth as though debating whether to say something.
“honestly…” he glanced toward your phone for just a second, “…i think they’d sound good through almost anything.”
you blinked.
“…sorry?”
he rubbed the back of his neck.
“the artist.”
the corners of his mouth lifted as though he’d realized he’d spoken his thoughts aloud.
your surprise only lasted a second before a smile spread across your face.
“oh, seriously? you listen to them too?”
“they’re my favorite artist.”
there was something almost proud in the way he admitted it.
he carefully took the earphones back from you.
“so?” he asked, placing them beside the other pair. “want to try another model, or…”
“no.” you smiled, shaking your head. “i like these.”
“…and i like the color.”
“good choice.”
he nodded to himself before putting the remaining boxes back where they belonged.
after writing down the product information on a receipt, he handed it to you with another smile.
“you can pay at the register.”
you took the receipt from him before making your way to the register.
a tall blond employee greeted you with a polite smile from behind the counter.
“paying by card or cash?”
you paid, thanked him, and returned to the place where your shopping bag was already waiting.
the boy stood with his back to you, busy returning the remaining boxes to their places.
as if sensing your footsteps, he glanced over his shoulder.
he picked up the neatly packed bag and held it out to you.
you accepted it with both hands.
“thank you so much.”
he smiled, the same warm smile you’d found yourself noticing more than once during the past fifteen minutes.
“my pleasure.”
you nodded with a small smile before turning toward the door, “have a nice day.”
“you too.”
the little bell above the entrance chimed softly as you stepped back into the warmth of the afternoon sun.
it wasn’t until you reached your apartment that you finally opened the bag.
beneath the box sat the store’s business card, along with two tiny star-shaped stickers.
slowly, your eyes drifted to the small embroidered star pinned to your jacket.
a smile tugged at your lips before you picked up the business card.
the front of the card displayed the store’s information.
when you turned it over, however, you noticed a name written carefully in blue ink.
keonho.
the handwriting was clean, almost careful.
below it, in much smaller letters, he’d written:
if you have any problems with them, just ask for me.
your thumb traced over the ink for a brief second before you found yourself smiling all over again.
———————— 💿
as friday came around, the city’s streets, cafés, and, of course, shops filled with people. you slipped one of your earphones out, taking in the familiar sights once again.
it had been a little over a week.
as if your phone had somehow sensed you were looking for an excuse to replace the screen protector, it had managed to injure itself twice more, leaving a few fresh cracks across the edges. if someone had asked whether you were upset about it, saying yes would have been a lie.
because, truthfully, it gave you another reason to visit the electronics store. the reason?
simple.
ever since that afternoon, keonho hadn’t quite left your mind. you had even caught yourself wondering how someone could leave such an impression after only a few minutes. considering your almost nonexistent dating history, it was a little surprising, even to yourself.
there was just something about him.
if someone sat him down in a chair and simply told him to smile, you were convinced you could watch him for hours without getting bored, the same way people admired paintings in a museum.
it wasn’t just his smile, either.
it was the way he carried himself. the quiet confidence in the way he worked, how naturally he helped people, how focused he seemed without ever looking impatient.
you had a feeling those gentle eyes hid far more than they let on.
and somehow, you wanted to find out everything.
you only hoped someone hadn’t beaten you to that smile.
the store was much busier than the last time you’d visited. customers wandered between the shelves, chatted with one another, and crowded around the counters.
before you even realized it, your feet had already carried you to the familiar corner of the shop.
the screen protectors weren’t even in this section. still, you found yourself walking there anyway. you simply couldn’t help it.
this time, there was no sign of keonho. instead, the same blond employee from the register greeted customers behind the counter. as you stepped closer, your eyes caught the name on his tag.
martin.
there was only one customer ahead of you, so you waited patiently, though your eyes kept wandering around the store as if searching for someone.
martin noticed. “hi. how can i help you?”
you smiled a little awkwardly. “hi… oh, i actually wanted to…”
you pulled your phone from your pocket before the words slipped out almost on their own.
“…is keonho working today?”
martin blinked before looking around the store.
“uh… yeah, i’m pretty sure he is.”
his eyes scanned the aisles, raised his voice slightly.
“yo, keonho!”
you instinctively turned around.
keonho walked over at an unhurried pace, one hand slipping out of his pocket to brush his hair back out of habit. he looked at martin with a slightly puzzled expression, but as he got closer, his eyes landed on you.
seeing him again made your thoughts scatter almost instantly. all the words you’d planned on the way here suddenly seemed to disappear.
martin had already turned back to another customer, leaving the two of you at the counter.
“hi,” keonho greeted, absentmindedly gathering a few receipts and small slips of paper from the counter before looking at you again.
he tilted his head ever so slightly.
“haven’t we met before?”
the fact that he remembered you made something flutter inside your chest.
“yeah,” you smiled. “we have.”
his eyes dropped briefly to the shopping bag hanging from your wrist.
“did something go wrong with the earphones?”
“no,” you answered quickly. “actually, i wanted to…”
you held up your phone.
“…get a new screen protector.”
he nodded, listening as he jotted something down in a small notebook beside the register, not once losing track of what you were saying.
“and…” you hesitated.
“i thought i’d say hi, too.”
the words escaped before you had a chance to stop them.
the moment they left your mouth, you wanted to hide. heat crept up your neck, and you silently prayed your cheeks hadn’t given you away.
keonho looked up, a smile slowly appeared on his face.
it wasn’t quite the same one from last time. this one carried the faintest hint of amusement, almost as though he knew exactly how unexpected that sounded.
for a brief second, you worried you’d made things awkward. but before you could overthink it any further, he spoke.
“i’m glad you did.” his smile softened. “it’s nice when people come back. it makes the place feel… friendlier.”
somehow, those simple words eased every bit of embarrassment you’d been feeling. you smiled sheepishly.
“as for the screen protector…” he glanced toward the middle of the store. “they’re over there.” he took a step before stopping. “…actually, come with me.”
you followed him through the crowded aisles until you reached a large oval-shaped service counter in the center of the store. two employees were already helping customers on the other side.
keonho slipped into the space beside them as though he’d done it a thousand times.
you waited where you were until he looked up and motioned for you to come closer.
one of the employees beside him glanced over. “huh?” he nudged keonho lightly with his shoulder. “what are you doing over here? let me do my job.”
it was obvious he was only teasing him. keonho didn’t even look bothered. instead, he smirked.
“well…” he shrugged. “some people just do their job so well that customers only want them.”
heat rushed to your cheeks and ears almost instantly.
the other employee let out a quiet scoff before giving keonho a light shove with his shoulder. “keep dreaming.”
judging by the easy way they joked with each other, they had probably worked together for quite some time.
he turned back to the customer he had been helping, it was obvious the conversation had been between the two of them. but you’d heard it too.
the conversation followed much the same course as last time, keonho once again helping you choose the right screen protector.
he somehow managed to make you laugh more than once along the way.
“trust me,” he said, holding up one of the boxes. “if this one survived me, it’ll survive anyone.”
he worked carefully, peeling away the cracked protector before cleaning the screen with practiced movements.
as the display lit up for a brief second, his eyes caught the name at the top.
“y/n?”
you looked up.
“yeah.”
he nodded lightly.
“just making sure i remember it.”
for some reason, hearing those words made your heart skip a beat.
his attention returned to the phone, carefully lining up the new protector before pressing it down with steady hands.
the conversation drifted back to music before either of you realized it.
you found yourselves talking about favorite songs, albums, and the artist you’d been listening to the last time.
after making sure the edges of the protector had settled properly, keonho leaned just a little closer.
“a little secret info..”
his voice dropped into a quiet half-whisper.
“…i heard they’re actually considering this city for the tour.”
your eyes widened.
“you’re serious?”
“nothing’s confirmed.”
for a brief moment, neither of you said anything.
then he looked back at your phone.
“guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
——————— 💿
the third time coming wasn’t even for you, but for your friend, who insisted on stopping by the store to get a few things she needed.
even though your eyes always wandered toward the shop whenever you passed this street, you’d become a little more reserved lately. you still weren’t sure whether you should keep finding your way back to keonho or stop yourself before you became that annoying customer who kept showing up for no reason.
a few days after that conversation, the tour dates had finally been announced. you remembered smiling the moment you saw this city on the list. somehow, your excitement over the concert became tied to the memory of the person who had been the first to tell you about it.
nevertheless, it had been almost two weeks, and there you were again, standing between the familiar shelves.
you made no effort to look toward keonho’s usual corner, simply wandering around without much purpose while your friend moved from one aisle to another, asking martin countless questions. you didn’t even look at his face this time, pretending to be interested in the products around you instead.
after a while, curiosity got the better of you. you tilted your head just enough to steal a glance. there he was, standing in his usual place.
you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes narrowed ever so slightly whenever he smiled, the tiny crease beneath them, the little lines around his mouth, the way his head tilted just a little whenever he listened to someone. his hands were always moving gently as he explained something, never rushed, never careless.
he was talking to a customer, you assumed. after shifting your gaze a little, you realized it was a girl standing across from him, though from where you were, you couldn’t make out her face. you had always wondered whether he smiled like that with everyone.
apparently, he did.
an odd feeling settled around your chest, almost enough to make it ache. you knew it was ridiculous. smiling at customers was part of his job, and yet seeing him standing there with another girl somehow made you unexpectedly uneasy.
someone called out to him from another part of the store. he simply nodded in response, completely unbothered, before continuing the conversation as if nothing had happened. you found yourself looking away.
your friend was still talking to martin, who had disappeared for a moment to grab the item she’d asked for. after handing it to her, he finally noticed you.
“hey,” he greeted with a smile.
before you could explain that you were only there because of your friend, martin’s eyes wandered past you.
“keonho!”
he lifted his hand slightly to catch his attention, “your customer’s back.”
your heart skipped for a second, “no, i actually don’t need anythi-”
you stopped yourself as you noticed the girl was no longer standing at keonho’s counter.
having heard martin, he made his way over at his usual unhurried pace.
“y/n?”
he smiled as soon as your eyes met.
“hey.”
his warm voice seemed to melt away the uncomfortable feeling that had settled in your chest only moments ago.
you smiled back almost instinctively.
before you knew it, the conversation had drifted away from your usual customer - employee exchange. the two of you stood a little closer now, separated only by the counter, talking as though you were simply two people catching up after not seeing each other for a while.
“so…” he began, a faint, mischievous glint finding its way into his eyes. “…you saw the announcement?”
you nodded, unable to hide your smile.
without thinking, the question escaped your lips.
“you’re going, right?”
“of course.” he tilted his head slightly toward martin. “it’s just… that guy won’t be able to make it, and my other friends don’t really listen to them enough to sit through the whole concert.”
“oh, tell me about it.” you smiled knowingly. “i only managed to convince one of my friends to come.”
the conversation fell into a brief silence. more the kind where both of you seemed to be thinking about the exact same thing.
you took a quiet breath.
“would you like to-”
“oh, actually, i wanted to-”
the two of you stopped at the same time.
for a second, neither of you spoke. then a laugh escaped both of you almost simultaneously.
“okay,” keonho smiled. “you first.”
oh, to hell with it. the worst he can say is no.
you looked up at him.
“would you like to… go with me?”
for the first time since you’d met him, he looked genuinely caught off guard. his eyebrows lifted ever so slightly before a warm laugh slipped past his lips. a faint flush spread across his cheeks.
“yeah… actually, i was going to ask you the exact same thing.”
he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling almost sheepishly.
your eyes widened.
“really?”
“i just…” he let out another quiet laugh. “i didn’t know how i’d ask.” his smile softened.
“i don’t exactly have your number.” he held your gaze for a moment before continuing. “so i was hoping you’d stop by again.”
for a second, all you could do was stare at him. a disbelieving laugh escaped you.
before either of you could say anything else, martin’s voice reached the two of you from the other side of the counter.
“keonho, i need you for a second!”
he glanced over his shoulder. “coming.”
he looked back at you, a hint of reluctance in his smile, as though he wasn’t quite ready for the conversation to end.
“one second.”
he reached for a small notepad lying on the counter, tore off a blank piece, and handed it to you together with a pen.
“i’d rather not spend another two weeks hoping you’ll walk through that door again.”
you laughed quietly, taking the pen from him.
as you finished writing the last digit, he folded the paper carefully and slipped it into his pocket.
“i’ll text you.”
with one last smile, he finally turned back toward martin, leaving you standing there with a warmth in your chest that had nothing to do with the afternoon sun.
——————— 💿
before you knew it, the day of the concert had finally arrived.
through the days following your last encounter at the shop, you could slowly feel your relationship settling into something different. somewhere between exchanging numbers and making plans for the concert, the awkwardness that had once filled your conversations quietly disappeared, leaving behind something much more comfortable.
you found yourself becoming more confident in your interest in him, not only in the butterflies he gave you whenever he smiled, but in the little things that made him who he was. you wanted to know about his life, his friends, the things that made him happy, the foods he always ordered, how seriously he took his sleep despite insisting he could function on a few hours, and how he never seemed to miss an opportunity to pull harmless little pranks on martin whenever work became too quiet.
your conversations always carried a quiet respect for one another. neither of you ever tried to force a topic or rush into something more personal than the other was willing to share. somehow, that made every conversation feel even more genuine, and before you realized it, talking to him had become one of the most natural parts of your day.
a few days later, the two of you even found yourselves sitting across from each other with cups of coffee in your hands at the newly opened café right next to his workplace. what had started with recommendations for earphones somehow turned into conversations that easily stretched from one topic to another, making neither of you notice how quickly time slipped away.
you exchanged social media not long after.
just as you’d expected, his instagram somehow looked exactly like him. it was filled with faceless photos taken in different places, peaceful streets and cafés that somehow looked prettier through his camera, pictures of his dog, occasional silly selfies, and countless moments shared with his boys.
he was.. unexpectedly chill.
there was nothing forced about the way he presented himself, nothing that looked carefully curated just for the sake of looking good. somehow, every little post made you feel like you were getting to know another side of him, and with each passing day, your heart found another reason to wander a little closer toward his.
whenever you shared a story or posted something, he would almost always leave a like. sometimes he’d reply to an article you had shared, sometimes to the song playing in the background, and other times he’d send a message about the game you’d been playing lately, somehow managing to turn even the smallest interaction into a conversation.
one thing, however, didn’t escape your attention. there was no sign of a relationship anywhere. not in old photos, highlights, passing mentions, nothing.
it wasn’t as though you had gone looking for it. still, you couldn’t deny the quiet relief that settled in your chest.
you had already expected as much after the way he’d admitted he was hoping you’d come back to the shop.
now the two of you stood among thousands of people.
the moment your friend heard you were going with a boy, a potential boyfriend, as she happily called him , she insisted she would only be a third wheel and immediately sold her ticket to someone else. just like that, it was only you and keonho.
he took the empty water bottle from your hands together with his own, lifting them slightly before making his way toward the nearest trash bin.
you watched him disappear into the crowd for a moment before he returned, stopping beside you once again. you couldn’t help but steal another glance at him.
you had spent far longer than you’d like to admit putting together your outfit, taking inspiration from the aesthetic of the artist’s latest album. after exchanging countless messages about what the two of you were planning to wear, you’d settled on something you genuinely liked.
keonho, on the other hand, had kept things much simpler. yet somehow, as soon as you saw him, you realized he had matched parts of it with yours in his own subtle way. it made you smile more than you cared to admit.
the concert itself passed even more beautifully than you had imagined.
the moment the lights dimmed and the first notes echoed through the arena, everything else faded into the background.
you sang until your voice grew hoarse, laughed between songs, jumped with the crowd, and more than once found yourself standing face to face with keonho, both of you grinning without a reason other than simply being there together.
perhaps hearing the songs you had played on repeat for months was enough to make the night unforgettable.
or perhaps, it was seeing those same songs reflected in his eyes that made your heart feel lighter than it ever had before.
with the final song, the crowd erupted at last, cheers and applause ringing out from every direction. the sky had deepened into a darker shade by then, the kind that only came after sunset. the two of you laughed about little moments from the concert, replaying funny interactions with the crowd and arguing over which performance had been the best. near the venue stretched a large park, and the two of you drifted toward it without quite deciding to, following the crowd’s natural pull. unlike the daytime warmth, the evening air carried a faint chill. you felt it settle over your skin and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to rub some warmth back into them.
keonho had been talking, and you’d been listening closely, answering when he turned to you, until he paused mid-sentence.
“hey, are you cold?”
“not really. i’m sure i’ll warm up in a minute, it’s probably just from all the jumping earlier, now that the energy’s worn off,” you said, a little too quickly.
he studied you for a moment, clearly unconvinced, and seemed to weigh his options. he hadn’t brought a jacket himself, so instead he simply wrapped an arm around you, rubbing warmth into your arm, pulling you close without pressing too much weight against you.
“is this okay?” he asked quietly. “or… do you want me to walk you home?”
you shook your head immediately.
“no, no, this is fine, actually, thank you, though. i think we can keep walking. the weather’s nice.”
it was true. as the path stretched on, soft lights reflected off the damp greenery, and the faint hum of distant cars mixed with the easy, relaxed expressions of the people passing by.
before long, the crowds began to thin.
the two of you kept walking, eventually reaching a quieter stretch of the park, where a single bench sat beside a small patch of delicate flowers lining the path. you lingered there for a while, indecisive, scrolling through a few funny videos you’d taken of each other throughout the night. eventually, you both slipped your phones away, glancing around, each of you seeming to work up to saying something.
“today was… really great.”
you smiled to yourself.
“i didn’t realize how much i’d been craving something like this.”
your voice grew quieter.
“and… it was even more fun with you. i mean, we’re both fans, so that obviously helped…” you let out a shy laugh. “but… thank you, for making it even better.”
you’d only managed to glance at him once at the very beginning. after that, your attention stayed on your hands, suddenly finding your rings incredibly interesting.
when no answer came, you slowly lifted your head, and found yourself caught completely off guard. you couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at you like that, like you were the most precious thing in the room. he’d leaned in slightly, arms crossed loosely in front of him, the surrounding lights catching in his hair, while his eyes stayed on yours without the slightest intention of looking away, a small smile tugging at his lips. he looked quietly amused by your shyness, almost as if he found your nervousness endearing, by the way your words had rushed out all at once. his gaze dropped to your hands next, and gently, he pulled one free from where it rested, then the other, holding them both in his own before meeting your eyes again.
“i could say the same about you, y/n. i don’t think i would’ve been half as excited tonight without you next to me.”
you smiled shyly again, glancing briefly at the ground before looking back up at him. it was only then you realized just how close your faces had gotten. he didn’t say anything else, just watched you intently. following some instinct you couldn’t quite name, you leaned in slightly and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. it was quick, chaste, barely anything at all. you pulled back almost immediately, half-expecting him to gently redirect things, to say he wasn’t ready for something like this. instead, his expression stayed unreadable, though if anything, he seemed almost relieved.
before you fully registered what you’d done, he leaned in again, your hands still held in his. you expected him to aim for your cheek the same way. instead, he went for your lips.
a spark of heat shot straight down your spine the moment his soft lips pressed against yours. he lingered there for a breath, keeping the contact tender and sweet, before drawing back slightly to read your expression. seeing your wide-eyed shock, he panicked slightly, stepping back with an apologetic wince.
“uh, sorry, i shouldn’t have done that.”
before he could finish, you gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him back into another kiss. you pressed your lips against his again, this time with certainty. the initial sweetness dissolved into a slow, unhurried rhythm as you parted your lips slightly, brushing them against his bottom lip. keonho let out a soft breath against your mouth, answering your cue instantly. his hands let go of yours, sliding down to rest securely on your waist, his large palms warm through your clothes.
he tilted his head slightly, deepening the kiss just enough to make it more comfortable. his tongue brushed gently over your lower lip in a silent question. when you parted your lips a little more, he smiled faintly against the kiss before deepening it, slow and careful, never rushing you.
his grip on your waist tightened ever so slightly, drawing you just a little closer until there was barely any space left between you.
when you finally pulled away to catch your breath, your foreheads rested together in the quiet night. his chest rose and fell softly against yours, a breathless smile playing on his lips, while his hands remained comfortably settled at your waist. neither of you spoke.
the night, perhaps, couldn’t have ended any better than that. you were sure that the days ahead wouldn’t feel quite the same after the kiss you had shared.
life had a funny way of changing without asking for permission. before you even realized it, someone had found a permanent place in your everyday life, making even the simplest moments feel a little brighter.
—————— 💿
you carefully packed the freshly baked cookies into a container before slipping it into your tote bag, making sure the lid was secure.
now only a few steps away from your destination, you spotted the familiar dark hair of your boyfriend peeking through the half open door of the building. just as you reached it, the others came out alongside him, chatting among themselves.
the day couldn’t have been more perfect for a picnic. the warmth of summer had settled in comfortably, but the weather was kind enough to send a gentle breeze every now and then, making the afternoon feel pleasantly light. the idea had come up during one of your conversations a few days ago, now that everyone was finally free for the summer holidays.
everyone had their own bags packed with snacks and drinks.
while you were in the middle of a conversation with your friend, martin nudged your bag with the back of his hand.
“mhm… what did you bring? don’t tell me i have to wait until we get there.”
before you could answer, seonghyeon groaned dramatically.
“bro, you almost finished my chips on the way here. relax.”
martin looked personally offended.
he raised one finger like he was about to deliver the most important speech of the day.
“y/n, let’s not forget that i was the first person to notice something was going on between you and keonho.”
he proudly pointed at himself.
“and i was basically the one encouraging this guy to make a move.”
keonho sighed, giving martin a light shove with his shoulder.
“bro… will you let that go already?”
you couldn’t help laughing at the familiar interaction.
“martin,” you smiled, patting your bag once. “i’m sure you’ll survive another twenty minutes.”
the walk continued with easy conversations, interrupted every now and then by martin trying to convince everyone that he deserved credit for your relationship.
by the time all of you had settled on the picnic blankets, he somehow managed to bring it up again.
“nah, man, i knew something was up the second i heard her ask if keonho was working that day. nobody just asks that out of nowhere,” martin said to juhoon, who kept insisting martin was exaggerating his so-called detective skills.
keonho, smiling at you a second ago, suddenly stopped and turned to martin. “are you basically saying nobody would ever ask for me?”
seonghyeon laughed. “obviously yes, we’re just hoping you take a day off from work”
“wow,” keonho muttered, shaking his head. “thanks. really good for my confidence.”
“look on the bright side,” james chuckled, bending down to pick up the ball. “at least now we know there’s one person asking for you.”
to his words, keonho turned his warm gaze toward you and whispered, “seems like one was all i needed.”
their bickering eventually shifted, the guys grabbed the ball and wandered farther onto the grass. keonho, however, stayed exactly where he was. instead, he stretched out beside you before resting his head comfortably on your lap.
he reached into the container, stealing another cookie. “mm…” he hummed after taking a bite. “these are really good. i’m glad you like baking.”
“yeah, I guess one of us had to be,” you said, running your fingers idly through his hair.
after swallowing the last bite, he spoke as casually as if he were commenting on the weather. “that means we’ll manage just fine when we get married.”
you gave him a sudden push. “alright, Keonho, go play for a bit. i think the sun’s getting to your head”.
a small apartment on the wrong side of the city. one moment of raw intimacy leads to an attempt to bridge the gap, where pride gets in the way, turning a quiet night into a harsh reality check neither of you saw coming.
6.1K
warnings: emotional distance, miscommunication, unlabelled relationship, friends to benefits?, angst, harsh words, hurtful dialogue, pride & boundaries, class differences, reader's poor attempt at comforting explicit sexual content/smut: oral sex (f & m receiving), over stimulation, hickeys/marking, unprotected p in v, cowgirl/riding position, creampie, slow to rough sex, biting, hair pulling, subtle praise, mild degradation, passionate sex, neck grabbing, teasing, size difference/size handling, missionary sex, brief power play, vulnerability conflict, accusations.
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𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝
there was no musty or aging odor here, only the faint, familiar scent of his fragrance that you’d grown used to smelling on him, especially when you hugged him.
you never thought you’d set foot on this side of the city, a little apart from the center, but still within it, tucked among charming buildings, though not inside one of those.
he lived in one of those low-slung, house like structures that people usually chose out of sheer affordability.
you had braced yourself for a dingy, eerie atmosphere, but it was less like that than you’d imagined.
his place even had a tiny courtyard leading to the front door. the interior was another surprise entirely. james never gave the impression of being untidy, his modest appearance was always put together. but knowing him, his life for a while now, you had expected a cluttered space, especially in a neighborhood like this.
stepping inside, you were greeted by a plain room with creamy white walls, a small plastic window sat across from the entrance. to your right, an open door offered a glimpse into what you guessed was his bedroom. beside it stood an aged brown couch facing a television, a detail that caught you off guard. in front of the couch sat a compact coffee table with peeling paint, its surface holding a neat stack of books.
an old wooden shelf lined with various odds and ends drew your attention, taking up the last remaining space in the room. there was hardly any room left to decorate anyway. turning to your left, you noticed a nook-like kitchen area. it was slightly disheveled; james had clearly been in a rush when he left that morning.
you always tried not to let your face show anything, no matter his lifestyle, no matter what surrounded him. calling it a lifestyle even felt wrong, considering he’d been more or less forced into it by fate’s cruel games.
so, as you stepped in and swept your gaze over the room, you said nothing and sat down cautiously on the couch, which gave a soft groan under your weight. james followed you in from the door, carrying the bags of food you had picked up together, and set them down on the small table.
“well, make yourself at home. i’ll be right back,” he said softly, a gentle contrast to his usual sharp, decisive tone.
you nodded, your eyes tracking him as he vanished behind his bedroom door. when he reappeared, he had changed out of his clothes and stepped back outside, mentioning he needed to fetch something from the yard.
a few quiet minutes passed as you took in the little space around you, your hands resting neatly on your knees over your skirt. any outsider looking at you, with your glossy hair falling over your shoulders, manicured appearance, and tailored clothes, would instantly know you didn't belong in a place like this. without your sneakers left at the door, the chill of the floor seeped through your socks.
restless, you stood up. not quite meaning to do anything in particular, and drifted toward the window, only to find the view blocked by the adjacent building. turning back, your gaze caught a small pile of laundry resting on the floor beside a low shelf. you strolled over and crouched down, enveloped by the fresh, clean scent drifting off the fabric. they were just his clean clothes, likely waiting to be folded and stored away.
you picked up a shirt, casually folding it, and mindlessly lifted it to your nose, breathing in his scent until it made you feel pleasantly lightheaded. folding and cleaning were things you never bothered with at home, and the sudden impulse surprised even you. before you knew it, you had neatly folded most of the pile.
as you reached for another shirt, james’s voice sounded from the doorway above you.
“you really didn’t have to do that,” he said, a mix of surprise and mild concern lacing his voice.
“it’s no trouble at all. i take it you were in a rush this morning?” you asked, trying to ease the delicate tension hanging in the air during your first visit to his home.
“yeah, i overslept...” he admitted, stepping into the kitchen before popping his head back out. “i left them there so i could deal with them when i got back.”
setting the last folded garment onto the stack, you stood up. “well, it’s already done, so no worries,” you replied with a playful, self-satisfied smile, as if you had just cleaned the entire house for him.
returning to the couch, you sat down and met his gaze.
was that a flicker of soft adoration hiding in his clouded eyes?
you couldn't be entirely sure, so you pushed the thought aside, watching as he dried his hands on a white towel.
he simply stood there, observing you with the trace of a smile playing on his lips.
“i guess i’m going to be hearing that line a lot more from now on,” he murmured with a soft chuckle, tossing the towel back onto the kitchen counter.
you kept your teasing smile, tilting your head and giving a casual shrug. “well, your guest comes over and takes care of your chores for you, what's not to like? you should be grateful.”
he looked back at you, his expression suddenly hard to describe. he began walking toward you, only to freeze mid-step as something crossed his mind.
“oh, i almost forgot to give these back,” he said, gesturing with a nod toward two boxes sitting near the side of the couch. “i told him i’d return them after work.”
he leaned down and hoisted the boxes effortlessly, the strain bringing out the defined veins along his arms. tearing your gaze away from his mouth-watering physique with a bit of effort, you looked up to meet his eyes.
“where are you going?” you asked softly. “will it take long?”
“no, they belong to my neighbor,” he replied gently. “he lives right nearby. i’ll be back in just a couple of minutes.”
he disappeared again as your smile slowly faded, and you glanced around once more. you took the food and drinks out of their plastic bag and laid them out on the table. you turned on the tv, since the two of you had agreed to watch something. as you scrolled through, looking for something interesting, your eyes caught a small figure sitting on the shelf.
you set the remote down and stood up, drawn to look closer at the things on it. that same funny little figure, you remembered giving it to him. alongside it were various items that reflected his hobbies, which you were already familiar with. you picked up a small book, one from a french poet, and wondered if he actually read it, though you wouldn’t have been surprised if he did. beneath the book lay a small notebook with a slip of paper tucked between its pages.
curiosity got the better of you, so you gently pulled it out and found a photograph of a woman. the colors had already faded, making it obvious that the picture was quite old. she was smiling, with a subtle dimple near her slender mouth. your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you could never mistake that smile. she smiled just like james. you stepped closer to the light to see her face more clearly. just as you were about to turn the photo over to check for any written notes, you felt a sudden presence.
you turned your head and flinched, finding james’s eyes already fixed on the photo.
seeing you turn to him, he met your gaze. for a moment you braced for anger, for him to snatch it from your hand and scold you for prying into his personal belongings. but his expression remained entirely blank and unreadable.
you swallowed softly and held the photo out toward him.
“i saw it while looking through your books. sorry, i didn’t mean to,”
you said, embarrassment and irritation tangling together inside you as your own words came out sounding stupid to your ears.
“she’s my mother. my family, you asked about,” he said quietly, that same clouded gaze resting on your bright eyes.
you searched instinctively for any trace of tension in them, remembering how many times you’d asked about his background before, only for him to brush it off or give indifferent answers, until you eventually stopped bringing it up altogether.
"she is beautiful," you smiled, at a loss for words at first.
he slowly took the photo from your hand, his thumb gently brushing across the surface as he gazed at it.
"she is," he agreed softly.
you did not press him with many questions about his mother, though he mentioned that this was one of the few photographs he had left of her.
you could sense a deep longing in him, a feeling you had never witnessed before. this vulnerable moment was a first for you. as you stood beside him, watching a strand of hair fall over his forehead while his eyes remained fixed on the picture, you realized how little the two of you actually knew about each other’s feelings in general.
that had never really been the point of your time together anyway. your meetings had always been emotionally detached encounters, driven by little more than pure desire.
a few moments passed, and soon you found yourself back on the couch, eating and watching the movie you had picked out. you sat close, gently wrapping your arm around him as a subtle gesture of comfort after seeing the photograph. yet, you still felt like you failed to grasp whatever was passing through his mind.
you were simply unfamiliar with feelings like these.
born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you had never known genuine heartache, only the fleeting disappointment of not getting what you wanted when your father refused a request.
james had his left arm draped over the back of the couch behind your head, his gaze locked onto the screen. your arm rested casually across his chest, and your legs lay over his open ones. his free hand rested on your exposed thigh where your skirt had ridden up. his warm fingers brought heat to your cold skin while your cheek pressed against the rhythm of his heartbeat.
your attention had long drifted away from the movie. it was a genre you did not particularly care for, though it held james completely captive. his intense, glossy eyes followed every movement on the screen, making you secretly wish he would give that exact same unwavering attention to you, every second of every day.
the sun had already set, and the faint light coming through the window turned dim and dark, even though it was not late. you silently studied his facial features without breaking his focus, wanting to admire him and indulge in your own quiet mischief without him noticing. you shifted your head slightly upward, adjusting your posture without a sound, until your face was resting right beside the exposed skin of his neck.
you slowly brought your head closer to his neck, your nose barely touching his skin. you rested your head on his shoulder, your lips drifting closer to the soft patch of skin just beneath his ear.
neither of you had mentioned anything about physical intimacy when you decided to come over, though that had never been something you needed to speak aloud. still, you felt a sudden rush of warmth spread through your body, especially as his slender fingers, subtle green veins on his hands, brushed idly against your leg. he always did that whenever the two of you watched something together.
you pressed your face softly into his neck, making it look as though you were simply getting sleepy, and inhaled his scent. he did not pull away or stop what he was doing, continuing to stroke his thumb against your thigh while keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.
soft lips brushed against his skin, not quite kissing him yet. your left hand moved along his shoulder, bringing your index finger up to touch the exact spot your lips had just grazed. then you leaned back in, planting a soft peck against his skin, and then another. you let the tip of your tongue briefly touch his warm skin before sealing it with your lips, pulling a tiny section between them to suck gently, feeling a quiet sense of satisfaction at the faint flush of red beginning to form.
james did not seem to mind at all, allowing his fingers to continue their faint, rhythmic caress.
you pressed against his skin again, firmer this time, as you sucked harder, bringing your teeth and tongue into the fold. you felt his grip instantly tighten on your thigh. his left arm wrapped around your back while his hand cupped your chin, gently tilting your head back and turning your face toward him.
"hm, i thought i asked you not to leave any marks there. i cannot cover those up," he half whispered, his eyes searching yours intently.
"you did not listen to me when i told you the exact same thing last time, though," you replied, arching an eyebrow as you waited for his response.
a tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips. his fingers gently stroked your chin while his other hand remained rested against your thigh.
"because your neck looks much better with them. besides, those sheer scarves you match with your outfits suit you well," he answered softly, holding your gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the television.
"mmm? i never knew you liked those. but i only wear them because you refuse to listen to me," you said, your voice dripping with playful, exaggerated irritation.
he simply smiled at that, showing no remorse whatsoever. fueled by his smug expression, you suddenly leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, then took his lips entirely with yours. it was meant to be nothing more than a brief kiss, but his hand slid up from your leg to cup your face while his other arm wrapped firmly around your waist. he kissed you back deeply, his tongue already pressing against the swell of your lower lip, asking for entry. before you could process it, he deepened the kiss completely. your hands tangled into his hair, one of them caressing the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the strands.
his hand moved from your cheek to shift your weight, lifting you up to sit directly in his lap, facing him completely. the glowing television screen was now behind, casting faint light into the dimly lit room.
the two of you broke the kiss to catch your breath. his hands gently caressed your back before settling onto your hips, while his other hand guided your head down to rest against his chest, his eyes drifting back to the moving figures on the screen.
you let out a soft breath, staying still like that for a moment before raising your head slightly. his sharp jawline rested right beside your face. you raised your hand to his neck, slowly tracing down his silver necklace to the collar of his shirt. two of your fingers lightly felt the firm muscle beneath the fabric as they made their way downward, slowly approaching the waistband of his pants.
only then did you notice the faint bulge forming in his pants, sparking a new idea in your mind.
you slowly slid backward, dropping down to the floor between his parted legs. his head turned down toward you, eyebrows raised in silent question. before any words could leave his mouth, your hands wasted no time pulling his pants and boxers down together, releasing his aching length.
your mouth watered instantly at the sight of his firm, veiny shaft and flushed tip. you let your finger trace him from base to top, pausing at the delicate skin near the head.
you felt his breathing grow slightly uneven. keeping eye contact, you closed the distance between his tip and your lips. his attention was no longer on the screen as he looked down at you, that cocky expression returning to his face.
"missed it that much?" he asked softly.
just as he spoke, you extended your tongue and gave the tip a slow lick, pausing to gauge his reaction. he fell quiet and watched you intently, his length twitching in response.
you took the head of his shaft into your mouth, keeping your lips still while your tongue teased him inside, moving in slow circles around the tip. his hand found your hair, gently applying pressure to guide you deeper.
you complied, taking in as much as you could, though his size made it impossible to take him all the way. he began to caress the hair near your forehead without making a sound, simply watching how eagerly you took him. you did not tease him any longer and began a steady rhythm, your eyes occasionally locking onto his half-closed gaze. he let out a low sigh of relief and sank deeper into the couch as you bobbed up and down, feeling him pulse against your tongue.
a soft, pleasant melody began to play from the movie, contrasting with the quiet intensity between the two of you. his head fell back against the couch, his breathing deep and steady, his chest rising and falling in time with your pace.
all of a sudden, he gently halted the movement of your head and guided his dick out of your mouth, leaving a thin strand of saliva connecting his shaft to your swollen, flushed lips.
leaning down, he gripped your arms firmly and lifted you up into his embrace, hooking his other arm beneath your thighs to support your weight. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, locking your legs around his waist. you felt him lean forward slightly, keeping one arm securely around you while using his free hand to pick up the remote and turn off the television.
you expected him to lay you down on the couch, but instead he carried you into the bedroom, your back settling onto the mattress. the room was lit only by the faint glow spilling from the main room and the soft streetlight filtering through the window, leaving everything in shadow except for james's silhouette. not that anything else mattered to you in that moment.
he took off his shirt by pulling it up over his chest, giving you a clear view of his muscular frame as he moved. his skin caught the dim light, and you watched him with a gaze heavy with desire. he stepped up to the edge of the bed near your feet, while you lay back with your hands resting behind your head.
he looked down at you, his mouth parted slightly, as he pulled the shirt free from his arms and let it drop onto the floor behind him.
he leaned down slowly, resting one arm on the mattress to support his weight while his other hand gripped your ankles, pulling you toward him in one fluid motion.
a quiet gasp escaped your lips at the sudden shift. his fingers slowly traced a path up your legs, reaching the zipper of your skirt. he unzipped and removed it deftly, his eyes meeting yours as a soft sound of approval left your throat. left in your white cotton underwear, you instinctively pressed your thighs closer together. he folded your skirt neatly and set it on a chair nearby before returning to undo the top three buttons of your blouse, exposing the curve of your chest above your bra.
he unbuttoned it carefully, laid it beside your skirt, and then leaned in close to your face. positioned right over you, he watched the flutter of your eyelashes before capturing your lips with his own.
he kissed you softly at first, but soon pressed deeper, taking control of the rhythm. you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers catching the chain of his necklace as you gently pulled him closer.
without breaking the contact of his lips, he trailed a path of wet kisses down along your jaw, moving lower until he found the sensitive spot on your neck. he kissed, licked, and gently sucked the soft skin there before drifting down toward your chest, covering it in slow, deliberate kisses.
unclasping your bra, he hooked a finger under the waistband of your underwear, pushing it down your legs and raising them to slide it off completely.
he left your underwear on the chair with the other clothes and wasted no time. he parted your legs, leaving your center fully exposed and glistening with arousal. before he dived in, you brought his head up to your lips, kissing him one more time.
"i want you now, james, please."
he trailed kisses back down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it, making you lose your mind and arch your back off the mattress.
"mhmm, but i want to taste you first, baby."
there it was. the pet name slipped past his lips, hitting the exact right note to make your core ache even more. you tried to press your thighs back together, but james held them firm, opening them even wider.
he moved down at last, planting a line of kisses down from your chest to your stomach. he did not tease you the way you had done to him earlier; setting aside his usual slow pace, he dived right in, pulling a soft moan from your throat.
his tongue flicked over your clit, licking your folds hungrily before pushing deep into your slick entrance. your body tightened around nothing, desperate for his full length.
watching your overwhelmed state, his tongue took one long, sweeping stroke up your wet center, making your eyes roll back. one finger circled slowly around your opening without going inside, driving you mad with anticipation.
his tongue found your clit once more, pressing firmly against the sensitive nerve, making you let out high-pitched whimpers. he pressed a few quick kisses against your mount before dropping back down to your opening, slipping his tongue in and out to push your frustration to the limit.
your voice filled the dim room, calling his name over and over as he drank you in like a starving man.
you pushed his head closer, your legs tightening around him. sensing that you were right on the edge, he suddenly stopped. he easily forced your legs back down and sat up to look at you, his mouth and nose wet with your slickness, which he wiped away with the back of his hand.
you let out a desperate whine, needing the building heat to finally break. but he only gave you a lopsided smirk, his hands already pulling his briefs down to free his fully erect length.
breathing heavily, you watched him stroke his shaft, his thumb lightly running over the swollen tip.
"what was it that you wanted?" he asked, his own breath still coming fast.
you stared at him in utter disbelief. "i already told you what i wanted," you said, a slight smirk returning to your face as your eyebrows arched.
his expression remained unreadable, his eyes dropping down to watch his hand around his shaft before snapping right back to yours. "i did not really hear anything," he said, squinting slightly as if the room were somehow deafeningly loud. "just some whiny noises. i could not make it out." he smirked again.
you pushed yourself up, supporting your weight on your hands behind you. "i want you to," you glanced down briefly at his dick, "fuck me, james. so well that i forget everything else except the pleasure you give me."
you whispered the words seductively, making him smile, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
expecting him to lean over you, you were surprised when he shifted across the bed and lay flat on his back, gesturing for you to come closer. you obeyed and moved over him. he immediately grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him, dragging your wet center along his hard shaft, drawing a sharp intake of breath from both of you.
you sat up over him, sliding your body against his, leaning down just enough to let him take your nipple into his mouth once more. you began to grind against him, soft moans escaping your lips, your back arched and your head tilted toward the ceiling.
then you felt his fingers slip between your bodies, guiding his tip to your entrance and pushing himself all the way inside.
a soft moan escaped your lips as he filled you completely, his length leaving no room for your walls to breathe.
you began to move slowly, setting your own pace, pulling yourself up until only his tip remained inside before sinking back down all the way to the base.
looking down, you caught his dark, sparkling eyes fixed on your flushed face while he drew your nipple into his mouth. his hands gripped your hips firmly, holding and caressing you with enough pressure that you knew the marks of his fingers would likely stay on your skin later.
the intensity in his eyes sparked a new sensation within you. it was hard to tell what was running through his mind in that moment, aside from the sound of his heavy breathing and quiet, ragged gasps.
releasing your chest from his lips, his hand moved from your hip up to your back, just above your waist, pulling your upper body flush against his chest.
face to face with him, you instinctively reached for his lips. the two of you fell into a deep, desperate kiss. his teeth nipped at your lips while his fingers tangled into your hair, tugging with a rough edge as he snapped his hips upward in a sharp, hard thrust deep into your slick core.
you broke the kiss with a loud moan, your lips stinging from the force of his mouth.
you glanced down at him a moment later. even though you enjoyed his usual roughness, your mind felt slightly hazy from his sudden loss of restraint.
his gaze drifted down to where your bodies met before snapping back to yours, sensing your eyes on him.
the two of you held each other's stare, an intense, quiet tension rising between you that felt entirely distinct from the physical friction of your bodies.
with your arms beginning to ache from supporting your weight, you found yourself waiting for him to break the silence, sensing that he wanted to say or ask something but chose to hold it back.
instead, he deftly flipped you onto your side before rolling over to take the lead. he lifted your legs up over his shoulders and began pounding into you with hard, relentless thrusts.
your voice immediately echoed through the room, mingling with the slick, obscene sounds of your heated, tangled bodies.
his thrusts grew heavier and less rhythmic as he finally released your legs, head tilted back, his mouth parted as he fought for air. then his gaze dropped back to you, thumb suddenly found your clit, applying a steady, circular pressure that pulled a sharp whine from your chest.
you reached up for him, wrapping your arms into the air in an open invitation. he watched your desperate state for a heartbeat before sinking his weight back down, his lips instantly finding yours. james kissed you again and again, slowing his pace just enough to draw out the pleasure.
"i want to feel you come with me, james, please," you pleaded against his mouth, your voice thick with heat as you teetered right on the edge.
he hovered close over your face, his arms planted on either side of your head to frame you. with every deep thrust, the silver chain around his neck swung back and forth, lightly grazing your skin.
feeling the intense pressure building deep in your core, a string of broken sighs and desperate praises spilled from your lips. your hands gripped his back, your nails digging into the smooth muscle of his skin to anchor yourself.
low, gravelly moans began to slip from james’s throat as his own climax threatened to break. he locked his dark eyes onto yours, adjusting his pace to match your frantic rhythm, holding back his own release until he felt your body tighten around him.
the moment your walls pulsed in a hard, overwhelming wave, he drove into you one last time and let go, spilling himself deep inside you. your cries merged with his low, ragged groans, echoing together through the quiet room.
you did not fall asleep right away, though the heavy weight of it settled over your eyelids like a soft veil. you yawned silently, wondering what time it could be. feeling the cool breeze filtering through the window, your eyes drifted toward the faint lights outside, your thoughts already scattering to different corners of your life.
without fully realizing it, your gaze shifted to james lying beside you. one arm was tucked behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, his mind seemingly miles away.
you had just experienced some of the best sex of your life, yet you still could not call him a boyfriend. you could not even call him a friend at this point. after all the moments you had shared like this, you still could not grasp what he truly was to you.
it happened sometimes. in the quiet aftermath, your mind would turn gloomy, asking silent questions about your relationship and life, only to find no real answers.
whenever this mood set in, you stopped searching for clarity and instead comforted yourself with what you had, knowing you had far fewer things to worry about than most people.
or perhaps it was simply because james carried his own heavy burdens in life.
whenever you remembered what he went through, your own troubles felt like insignificant, unwanted pebbles along a smooth path. his quiet fight to keep going even inspired you to do the same at times.
feeling the ache in your muscles, you found it hard to get up, but you forced yourself to move and search for your clothes. after slipping into your bra and underwear, you stepped into the other room to retrieve your phone, squinting slightly against the dark to check the time. noticing the bathroom door inside his bedroom, you slipped inside to take care of yourself before coming back out to pick up your skirt.
"you are not staying?"
james's soft voice pulled you sharply out of your thoughts. your own surprised expression mirrored the look on his face.
"you seem to want me around a lot today, huh?" you let out a shaky smile, trying to keep the mood light.
his unreadable expression did not shift as he watched you step into your skirt and pull your blouse over your head.
"it is getting late, and i thought you would be tired," he said, gesturing toward you with his hand as his eyes met yours.
"i am..." you admitted, smoothing down your hair while making a mental note to take a long shower the moment you got home. "...but i have things to do tomorrow. i have to wake up early."
finding a mirror across the room, you flipped a small switch to turn on the light, wincing slightly as the brightness hit your eyes. you stepped in front of the glass and turned around, offering yourself a tight smile as you confirmed everything was back in order.
his eyes never left your reflection. he stood up slowly from the bed, his dark gaze tracking your every move in the mirror.
you left the bedroom to find your handbag, rummaging through it for your favorite candy and popping one into your mouth. behind, you heard james moving as he dressed, his footsteps fading into the small kitchen.
you wandered back into his room to make sure you had not left anything behind, when a sudden, heavy impulse washed over you.
you wondered if he needed money this time around, even though he would never admit it to you. when you arrived earlier, he had bought all the food himself. it had made you uncomfortable; you could not help wanting to provide everything yourself. under normal circumstances, you would never worry about a man spending money on you, but every time james did, an unnamed ache in your chest grew stronger.
you could so easily cover it all, if only he would let you.
opening your bag again, you pulled out your purse. scrolling through the different cards shining under your fingers, you caught sight of a few crisp bills tucked inside. you pulled them out, noting that the amount was more than eight times the cost of the food he had bought.
hesitating for a fraction of a second, terrified of how he might react, you quickly set the cash down on his nightstand and tiptoed out of the room.
you stood near the front door just as james stepped out of the kitchen, taking you in. moving closer to the exit, you let out a hurried "bye," trying to leave before he could stop you. behind you, he was already heading toward his room to grab his jacket, calling out, "wait, how are you getting back? cab?"
you stepped outside, closing the door behind you, and bent down to pull your sneakers on properly.
the air had a crisp, cool bite to it, the leaves on a nearby tree swaying softly in the breeze. you took a few steps into the yard, but the heavy main door suddenly creaked open behind you.
"wait."
you froze.
turning around slowly, you saw him walking toward you, stopping just short of your space. his hand held the paper money you had left behind.
james’s eyes were narrowed, as if he did not for a second believe you had simply forgotten the cash by his bed. his face was tight with quiet fury.
"uh, what happened?" you asked softly, trying to play it off.
he scoffed in disbelief, his head turning to the side before his dark brown eyes snapped back to yours, deeper and colder than before.
"this happened," he said, tilting the bills in his hand as he took another step closer. "what is this supposed to mean?"
the tension in the air made you deeply uneasy. "it was for the food... and, well, yeah."
you hated the way you stuttered, feeling entirely unlike yourself. but you knew how much he despised any talk of money, especially between the two of you. he had always politely shut it down whenever you tried to bring it up.
"did i ask you to pay for anything?" he asked, his tone hardening, making your eyebrows rise in shock.
"or are you paying me for sex?"
at his harsh words, your tired eyes snapped wide open. the accusation felt like a physical blow.
"what? obviously not!"
"obviously?" he repeated bitterly.
you stared at the money gripped tightly in his hand, his tall frame towering over you in the dim courtyard light.
"look, do not take this as pity or anything," you tried to explain, your voice desperate to fix the shift between you. "i just know how quickly things can get hard—"
"you know nothing," he cut you off sharply. "you know nothing about me, and i do not want you getting involved in my life like this."
he grabbed your hand and forcefully shoved the money back into your palm.
you stood there completely stunned, your mouth opening and closing as scorching heat rushed to your face. embarrassment, hurt, and sudden anger twisted together inside your chest.
"right," you spat out, your voice laced with venom. "maybe this is exactly what you deserve."
without waiting for a response, you spun around and marched out of his courtyard. your steps were sharp and fast, your lips pressed into a hard line, a dark frown covering your face.
behind you, there was no sound, no footsteps following after you.
only the cold glow of the streetlights guiding your frantic pace into the night.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
a/n: had this idea for a while ;) especially with james. the plot kind of grew more than I planned. any comments & ideas are appreciated as they motivate me to share more of these stories that come to my mind.
- Your responses have made me even more invested in this story!!! There's so much to unravel omg
- I would LOVE to understand more of their relationship and the dynamics. I'm so curious about what james wanted to say to her if you ever write a 2nd part because i feel like james keeps his cards close to his chest and i really do want to know the complicated emotions he feels around her.
- What are james' ambitions and ideals? What are y/n's?
- Based on what you said about james not usually caring about girls and things but y/n melting her way into his world, i'm assuming she made the first move on him after that mechanic shop meeting then hehe What about y/n melted his ice bubble?
- STOP JAMES' HAS BEEN THROUGH SM :( it makes sm sense that he's wary about any good thing that lands in his lap without him having to work for it or give something up. It is such an interesting point you bring up, that James isn't that poor. But because the story is narrated through y/n's eyes (and she's so used to being around wealth), that she thinks he's full on struggling in comparison. It does make me chuckle a bit when i think about this because it really does paint y/n in this light of naivety that comes with growing up rich and sheltered. But it all really does come from a good place in her heart. they have so much history that hasn't been touched...? Pls i'm now gnawing at the bars of my enclosure to read more about james and y/n and this world that you've built 🙇🏻♀️ i'm so curious about y/n too, how she views their class differences, how she was raised given that she's not your usual spoiled brat, whether she's expected to work in the family business, why she's so fond of James. It's such a fascinating concept, the fact that they live such different lives and, under normal circumstances, they never would have met or have gotten to know each other. So, their entanglement with eachother feels like this space between worlds for just them. It seems like they've made this arrangement to stay out of eachother's personal lives and they don't share too much about themselves in an effort to establish boundaries and stop any feelings because they know their circumstances are incompatible right now. But feelings are sneaky little things that sliver their way into the heart, taking residence with no respect for these logical boundaries the mind puts up. Even if the feelings are small and tucked away enough that as long as you don't look too deeply, you can pretend they're not there.
Hi, Anon!! 💗
I actually had a post idea like this in mind, and reading your ask made it so strong that I’m definitely going to create a headcanon-type post to give more details on this universe of James and Reader—Wrong Side of the City.
Coming to James’s ambitions and all, he is all about independence and built from scratch dignity. His dream is not to be rich; it’s to own his space and build a stable life where he never has to owe anyone anything. And yes, he is not on the streets😂
He pays his bills, works hard, and lives within his means.
Y/N grew up in a world where everything was already built for her. Her whole thing is more about finding authentic choice, rather than just following a pre written path or family expectations. I’m thinking about developing this part further, how James sparks that fighting spirit in her world and captivates her attention with his simple way of living
Moreover, James eventually lets her mingle into his life (mostly because of her constant presence after their first meeting, which I’ll save for a new post!). He finds that interesting, relaxing, and almost a hedonistic spark of life in her being.
Y/N definitely made the first move! She is not used to being ignored or intimidated. What melted his icy bubble wasn’t just her persistence, but her genuine, unfiltered curiosity about him. She didn’t treat him like background noise. He tried to resist it at first, she wasn’t the type he would normally look for in a room.
What James almost said during that scene is a bit too close to revealing more about his hidden character, so I’m keeping it tamed for now 🤩 But what he almost let slip was a mix of quiet possessiveness and raw vulnerability
Perhaps... she is the only thing that feels good in his messy life, while he also mocks himself for even letting her get this close.
You described "a space between worlds for just them" so thoughtfully and thoroughly🥹 That is literally what the fic shows. Logically, their worlds don’t mix. But is anyone in this world completely ruled by logic over their feelings?
Well, definitely not these two!
Thank you again for such a thoughtful ask! You have inspired me so much to keep building more on their world! 💚
a small apartment on the wrong side of the city. one moment of raw intimacy leads to an attempt to bridge the gap, where pride gets in the way, turning a quiet night into a harsh reality check neither of you saw coming.
6.1K
warnings: emotional distance, miscommunication, unlabelled relationship, friends to benefits?, angst, harsh words, hurtful dialogue, pride & boundaries, class differences, reader's poor attempt at comforting explicit sexual content/smut: oral sex (f & m receiving), over stimulation, hickeys/marking, unprotected p in v, cowgirl/riding position, creampie, slow to rough sex, biting, hair pulling, subtle praise, mild degradation, passionate sex, neck grabbing, teasing, size difference/size handling, missionary sex, brief power play, vulnerability conflict, accusations.
no proofread yet!
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝
there was no musty or aging odor here, only the faint, familiar scent of his fragrance that you’d grown used to smelling on him, especially when you hugged him.
you never thought you’d set foot on this side of the city, a little apart from the center, but still within it, tucked among charming buildings, though not inside one of those.
he lived in one of those low-slung, house like structures that people usually chose out of sheer affordability.
you had braced yourself for a dingy, eerie atmosphere, but it was less like that than you’d imagined.
his place even had a tiny courtyard leading to the front door. the interior was another surprise entirely. james never gave the impression of being untidy, his modest appearance was always put together. but knowing him, his life for a while now, you had expected a cluttered space, especially in a neighborhood like this.
stepping inside, you were greeted by a plain room with creamy white walls, a small plastic window sat across from the entrance. to your right, an open door offered a glimpse into what you guessed was his bedroom. beside it stood an aged brown couch facing a television, a detail that caught you off guard. in front of the couch sat a compact coffee table with peeling paint, its surface holding a neat stack of books.
an old wooden shelf lined with various odds and ends drew your attention, taking up the last remaining space in the room. there was hardly any room left to decorate anyway. turning to your left, you noticed a nook-like kitchen area. it was slightly disheveled; james had clearly been in a rush when he left that morning.
you always tried not to let your face show anything, no matter his lifestyle, no matter what surrounded him. calling it a lifestyle even felt wrong, considering he’d been more or less forced into it by fate’s cruel games.
so, as you stepped in and swept your gaze over the room, you said nothing and sat down cautiously on the couch, which gave a soft groan under your weight. james followed you in from the door, carrying the bags of food you had picked up together, and set them down on the small table.
“well, make yourself at home. i’ll be right back,” he said softly, a gentle contrast to his usual sharp, decisive tone.
you nodded, your eyes tracking him as he vanished behind his bedroom door. when he reappeared, he had changed out of his clothes and stepped back outside, mentioning he needed to fetch something from the yard.
a few quiet minutes passed as you took in the little space around you, your hands resting neatly on your knees over your skirt. any outsider looking at you, with your glossy hair falling over your shoulders, manicured appearance, and tailored clothes, would instantly know you didn't belong in a place like this. without your sneakers left at the door, the chill of the floor seeped through your socks.
restless, you stood up. not quite meaning to do anything in particular, and drifted toward the window, only to find the view blocked by the adjacent building. turning back, your gaze caught a small pile of laundry resting on the floor beside a low shelf. you strolled over and crouched down, enveloped by the fresh, clean scent drifting off the fabric. they were just his clean clothes, likely waiting to be folded and stored away.
you picked up a shirt, casually folding it, and mindlessly lifted it to your nose, breathing in his scent until it made you feel pleasantly lightheaded. folding and cleaning were things you never bothered with at home, and the sudden impulse surprised even you. before you knew it, you had neatly folded most of the pile.
as you reached for another shirt, james’s voice sounded from the doorway above you.
“you really didn’t have to do that,” he said, a mix of surprise and mild concern lacing his voice.
“it’s no trouble at all. i take it you were in a rush this morning?” you asked, trying to ease the delicate tension hanging in the air during your first visit to his home.
“yeah, i overslept...” he admitted, stepping into the kitchen before popping his head back out. “i left them there so i could deal with them when i got back.”
setting the last folded garment onto the stack, you stood up. “well, it’s already done, so no worries,” you replied with a playful, self-satisfied smile, as if you had just cleaned the entire house for him.
returning to the couch, you sat down and met his gaze.
was that a flicker of soft adoration hiding in his clouded eyes?
you couldn't be entirely sure, so you pushed the thought aside, watching as he dried his hands on a white towel.
he simply stood there, observing you with the trace of a smile playing on his lips.
“i guess i’m going to be hearing that line a lot more from now on,” he murmured with a soft chuckle, tossing the towel back onto the kitchen counter.
you kept your teasing smile, tilting your head and giving a casual shrug. “well, your guest comes over and takes care of your chores for you, what's not to like? you should be grateful.”
he looked back at you, his expression suddenly hard to describe. he began walking toward you, only to freeze mid-step as something crossed his mind.
“oh, i almost forgot to give these back,” he said, gesturing with a nod toward two boxes sitting near the side of the couch. “i told him i’d return them after work.”
he leaned down and hoisted the boxes effortlessly, the strain bringing out the defined veins along his arms. tearing your gaze away from his mouth-watering physique with a bit of effort, you looked up to meet his eyes.
“where are you going?” you asked softly. “will it take long?”
“no, they belong to my neighbor,” he replied gently. “he lives right nearby. i’ll be back in just a couple of minutes.”
he disappeared again as your smile slowly faded, and you glanced around once more. you took the food and drinks out of their plastic bag and laid them out on the table. you turned on the tv, since the two of you had agreed to watch something. as you scrolled through, looking for something interesting, your eyes caught a small figure sitting on the shelf.
you set the remote down and stood up, drawn to look closer at the things on it. that same funny little figure, you remembered giving it to him. alongside it were various items that reflected his hobbies, which you were already familiar with. you picked up a small book, one from a french poet, and wondered if he actually read it, though you wouldn’t have been surprised if he did. beneath the book lay a small notebook with a slip of paper tucked between its pages.
curiosity got the better of you, so you gently pulled it out and found a photograph of a woman. the colors had already faded, making it obvious that the picture was quite old. she was smiling, with a subtle dimple near her slender mouth. your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you could never mistake that smile. she smiled just like james. you stepped closer to the light to see her face more clearly. just as you were about to turn the photo over to check for any written notes, you felt a sudden presence.
you turned your head and flinched, finding james’s eyes already fixed on the photo.
seeing you turn to him, he met your gaze. for a moment you braced for anger, for him to snatch it from your hand and scold you for prying into his personal belongings. but his expression remained entirely blank and unreadable.
you swallowed softly and held the photo out toward him.
“i saw it while looking through your books. sorry, i didn’t mean to,”
you said, embarrassment and irritation tangling together inside you as your own words came out sounding stupid to your ears.
“she’s my mother. my family, you asked about,” he said quietly, that same clouded gaze resting on your bright eyes.
you searched instinctively for any trace of tension in them, remembering how many times you’d asked about his background before, only for him to brush it off or give indifferent answers, until you eventually stopped bringing it up altogether.
"she is beautiful," you smiled, at a loss for words at first.
he slowly took the photo from your hand, his thumb gently brushing across the surface as he gazed at it.
"she is," he agreed softly.
you did not press him with many questions about his mother, though he mentioned that this was one of the few photographs he had left of her.
you could sense a deep longing in him, a feeling you had never witnessed before. this vulnerable moment was a first for you. as you stood beside him, watching a strand of hair fall over his forehead while his eyes remained fixed on the picture, you realized how little the two of you actually knew about each other’s feelings in general.
that had never really been the point of your time together anyway. your meetings had always been emotionally detached encounters, driven by little more than pure desire.
a few moments passed, and soon you found yourself back on the couch, eating and watching the movie you had picked out. you sat close, gently wrapping your arm around him as a subtle gesture of comfort after seeing the photograph. yet, you still felt like you failed to grasp whatever was passing through his mind.
you were simply unfamiliar with feelings like these.
born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you had never known genuine heartache, only the fleeting disappointment of not getting what you wanted when your father refused a request.
james had his left arm draped over the back of the couch behind your head, his gaze locked onto the screen. your arm rested casually across his chest, and your legs lay over his open ones. his free hand rested on your exposed thigh where your skirt had ridden up. his warm fingers brought heat to your cold skin while your cheek pressed against the rhythm of his heartbeat.
your attention had long drifted away from the movie. it was a genre you did not particularly care for, though it held james completely captive. his intense, glossy eyes followed every movement on the screen, making you secretly wish he would give that exact same unwavering attention to you, every second of every day.
the sun had already set, and the faint light coming through the window turned dim and dark, even though it was not late. you silently studied his facial features without breaking his focus, wanting to admire him and indulge in your own quiet mischief without him noticing. you shifted your head slightly upward, adjusting your posture without a sound, until your face was resting right beside the exposed skin of his neck.
you slowly brought your head closer to his neck, your nose barely touching his skin. you rested your head on his shoulder, your lips drifting closer to the soft patch of skin just beneath his ear.
neither of you had mentioned anything about physical intimacy when you decided to come over, though that had never been something you needed to speak aloud. still, you felt a sudden rush of warmth spread through your body, especially as his slender fingers, subtle green veins on his hands, brushed idly against your leg. he always did that whenever the two of you watched something together.
you pressed your face softly into his neck, making it look as though you were simply getting sleepy, and inhaled his scent. he did not pull away or stop what he was doing, continuing to stroke his thumb against your thigh while keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.
soft lips brushed against his skin, not quite kissing him yet. your left hand moved along his shoulder, bringing your index finger up to touch the exact spot your lips had just grazed. then you leaned back in, planting a soft peck against his skin, and then another. you let the tip of your tongue briefly touch his warm skin before sealing it with your lips, pulling a tiny section between them to suck gently, feeling a quiet sense of satisfaction at the faint flush of red beginning to form.
james did not seem to mind at all, allowing his fingers to continue their faint, rhythmic caress.
you pressed against his skin again, firmer this time, as you sucked harder, bringing your teeth and tongue into the fold. you felt his grip instantly tighten on your thigh. his left arm wrapped around your back while his hand cupped your chin, gently tilting your head back and turning your face toward him.
"hm, i thought i asked you not to leave any marks there. i cannot cover those up," he half whispered, his eyes searching yours intently.
"you did not listen to me when i told you the exact same thing last time, though," you replied, arching an eyebrow as you waited for his response.
a tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips. his fingers gently stroked your chin while his other hand remained rested against your thigh.
"because your neck looks much better with them. besides, those sheer scarves you match with your outfits suit you well," he answered softly, holding your gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the television.
"mmm? i never knew you liked those. but i only wear them because you refuse to listen to me," you said, your voice dripping with playful, exaggerated irritation.
he simply smiled at that, showing no remorse whatsoever. fueled by his smug expression, you suddenly leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, then took his lips entirely with yours. it was meant to be nothing more than a brief kiss, but his hand slid up from your leg to cup your face while his other arm wrapped firmly around your waist. he kissed you back deeply, his tongue already pressing against the swell of your lower lip, asking for entry. before you could process it, he deepened the kiss completely. your hands tangled into his hair, one of them caressing the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the strands.
his hand moved from your cheek to shift your weight, lifting you up to sit directly in his lap, facing him completely. the glowing television screen was now behind, casting faint light into the dimly lit room.
the two of you broke the kiss to catch your breath. his hands gently caressed your back before settling onto your hips, while his other hand guided your head down to rest against his chest, his eyes drifting back to the moving figures on the screen.
you let out a soft breath, staying still like that for a moment before raising your head slightly. his sharp jawline rested right beside your face. you raised your hand to his neck, slowly tracing down his silver necklace to the collar of his shirt. two of your fingers lightly felt the firm muscle beneath the fabric as they made their way downward, slowly approaching the waistband of his pants.
only then did you notice the faint bulge forming in his pants, sparking a new idea in your mind.
you slowly slid backward, dropping down to the floor between his parted legs. his head turned down toward you, eyebrows raised in silent question. before any words could leave his mouth, your hands wasted no time pulling his pants and boxers down together, releasing his aching length.
your mouth watered instantly at the sight of his firm, veiny shaft and flushed tip. you let your finger trace him from base to top, pausing at the delicate skin near the head.
you felt his breathing grow slightly uneven. keeping eye contact, you closed the distance between his tip and your lips. his attention was no longer on the screen as he looked down at you, that cocky expression returning to his face.
"missed it that much?" he asked softly.
just as he spoke, you extended your tongue and gave the tip a slow lick, pausing to gauge his reaction. he fell quiet and watched you intently, his length twitching in response.
you took the head of his shaft into your mouth, keeping your lips still while your tongue teased him inside, moving in slow circles around the tip. his hand found your hair, gently applying pressure to guide you deeper.
you complied, taking in as much as you could, though his size made it impossible to take him all the way. he began to caress the hair near your forehead without making a sound, simply watching how eagerly you took him. you did not tease him any longer and began a steady rhythm, your eyes occasionally locking onto his half-closed gaze. he let out a low sigh of relief and sank deeper into the couch as you bobbed up and down, feeling him pulse against your tongue.
a soft, pleasant melody began to play from the movie, contrasting with the quiet intensity between the two of you. his head fell back against the couch, his breathing deep and steady, his chest rising and falling in time with your pace.
all of a sudden, he gently halted the movement of your head and guided his dick out of your mouth, leaving a thin strand of saliva connecting his shaft to your swollen, flushed lips.
leaning down, he gripped your arms firmly and lifted you up into his embrace, hooking his other arm beneath your thighs to support your weight. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, locking your legs around his waist. you felt him lean forward slightly, keeping one arm securely around you while using his free hand to pick up the remote and turn off the television.
you expected him to lay you down on the couch, but instead he carried you into the bedroom, your back settling onto the mattress. the room was lit only by the faint glow spilling from the main room and the soft streetlight filtering through the window, leaving everything in shadow except for james's silhouette. not that anything else mattered to you in that moment.
he took off his shirt by pulling it up over his chest, giving you a clear view of his muscular frame as he moved. his skin caught the dim light, and you watched him with a gaze heavy with desire. he stepped up to the edge of the bed near your feet, while you lay back with your hands resting behind your head.
he looked down at you, his mouth parted slightly, as he pulled the shirt free from his arms and let it drop onto the floor behind him.
he leaned down slowly, resting one arm on the mattress to support his weight while his other hand gripped your ankles, pulling you toward him in one fluid motion.
a quiet gasp escaped your lips at the sudden shift. his fingers slowly traced a path up your legs, reaching the zipper of your skirt. he unzipped and removed it deftly, his eyes meeting yours as a soft sound of approval left your throat. left in your white cotton underwear, you instinctively pressed your thighs closer together. he folded your skirt neatly and set it on a chair nearby before returning to undo the top three buttons of your blouse, exposing the curve of your chest above your bra.
he unbuttoned it carefully, laid it beside your skirt, and then leaned in close to your face. positioned right over you, he watched the flutter of your eyelashes before capturing your lips with his own.
he kissed you softly at first, but soon pressed deeper, taking control of the rhythm. you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers catching the chain of his necklace as you gently pulled him closer.
without breaking the contact of his lips, he trailed a path of wet kisses down along your jaw, moving lower until he found the sensitive spot on your neck. he kissed, licked, and gently sucked the soft skin there before drifting down toward your chest, covering it in slow, deliberate kisses.
unclasping your bra, he hooked a finger under the waistband of your underwear, pushing it down your legs and raising them to slide it off completely.
he left your underwear on the chair with the other clothes and wasted no time. he parted your legs, leaving your center fully exposed and glistening with arousal. before he dived in, you brought his head up to your lips, kissing him one more time.
"i want you now, james, please."
he trailed kisses back down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it, making you lose your mind and arch your back off the mattress.
"mhmm, but i want to taste you first, baby."
there it was. the pet name slipped past his lips, hitting the exact right note to make your core ache even more. you tried to press your thighs back together, but james held them firm, opening them even wider.
he moved down at last, planting a line of kisses down from your chest to your stomach. he did not tease you the way you had done to him earlier; setting aside his usual slow pace, he dived right in, pulling a soft moan from your throat.
his tongue flicked over your clit, licking your folds hungrily before pushing deep into your slick entrance. your body tightened around nothing, desperate for his full length.
watching your overwhelmed state, his tongue took one long, sweeping stroke up your wet center, making your eyes roll back. one finger circled slowly around your opening without going inside, driving you mad with anticipation.
his tongue found your clit once more, pressing firmly against the sensitive nerve, making you let out high-pitched whimpers. he pressed a few quick kisses against your mount before dropping back down to your opening, slipping his tongue in and out to push your frustration to the limit.
your voice filled the dim room, calling his name over and over as he drank you in like a starving man.
you pushed his head closer, your legs tightening around him. sensing that you were right on the edge, he suddenly stopped. he easily forced your legs back down and sat up to look at you, his mouth and nose wet with your slickness, which he wiped away with the back of his hand.
you let out a desperate whine, needing the building heat to finally break. but he only gave you a lopsided smirk, his hands already pulling his briefs down to free his fully erect length.
breathing heavily, you watched him stroke his shaft, his thumb lightly running over the swollen tip.
"what was it that you wanted?" he asked, his own breath still coming fast.
you stared at him in utter disbelief. "i already told you what i wanted," you said, a slight smirk returning to your face as your eyebrows arched.
his expression remained unreadable, his eyes dropping down to watch his hand around his shaft before snapping right back to yours. "i did not really hear anything," he said, squinting slightly as if the room were somehow deafeningly loud. "just some whiny noises. i could not make it out." he smirked again.
you pushed yourself up, supporting your weight on your hands behind you. "i want you to," you glanced down briefly at his dick, "fuck me, james. so well that i forget everything else except the pleasure you give me."
you whispered the words seductively, making him smile, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
expecting him to lean over you, you were surprised when he shifted across the bed and lay flat on his back, gesturing for you to come closer. you obeyed and moved over him. he immediately grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him, dragging your wet center along his hard shaft, drawing a sharp intake of breath from both of you.
you sat up over him, sliding your body against his, leaning down just enough to let him take your nipple into his mouth once more. you began to grind against him, soft moans escaping your lips, your back arched and your head tilted toward the ceiling.
then you felt his fingers slip between your bodies, guiding his tip to your entrance and pushing himself all the way inside.
a soft moan escaped your lips as he filled you completely, his length leaving no room for your walls to breathe.
you began to move slowly, setting your own pace, pulling yourself up until only his tip remained inside before sinking back down all the way to the base.
looking down, you caught his dark, sparkling eyes fixed on your flushed face while he drew your nipple into his mouth. his hands gripped your hips firmly, holding and caressing you with enough pressure that you knew the marks of his fingers would likely stay on your skin later.
the intensity in his eyes sparked a new sensation within you. it was hard to tell what was running through his mind in that moment, aside from the sound of his heavy breathing and quiet, ragged gasps.
releasing your chest from his lips, his hand moved from your hip up to your back, just above your waist, pulling your upper body flush against his chest.
face to face with him, you instinctively reached for his lips. the two of you fell into a deep, desperate kiss. his teeth nipped at your lips while his fingers tangled into your hair, tugging with a rough edge as he snapped his hips upward in a sharp, hard thrust deep into your slick core.
you broke the kiss with a loud moan, your lips stinging from the force of his mouth.
you glanced down at him a moment later. even though you enjoyed his usual roughness, your mind felt slightly hazy from his sudden loss of restraint.
his gaze drifted down to where your bodies met before snapping back to yours, sensing your eyes on him.
the two of you held each other's stare, an intense, quiet tension rising between you that felt entirely distinct from the physical friction of your bodies.
with your arms beginning to ache from supporting your weight, you found yourself waiting for him to break the silence, sensing that he wanted to say or ask something but chose to hold it back.
instead, he deftly flipped you onto your side before rolling over to take the lead. he lifted your legs up over his shoulders and began pounding into you with hard, relentless thrusts.
your voice immediately echoed through the room, mingling with the slick, obscene sounds of your heated, tangled bodies.
his thrusts grew heavier and less rhythmic as he finally released your legs, head tilted back, his mouth parted as he fought for air. then his gaze dropped back to you, thumb suddenly found your clit, applying a steady, circular pressure that pulled a sharp whine from your chest.
you reached up for him, wrapping your arms into the air in an open invitation. he watched your desperate state for a heartbeat before sinking his weight back down, his lips instantly finding yours. james kissed you again and again, slowing his pace just enough to draw out the pleasure.
"i want to feel you come with me, james, please," you pleaded against his mouth, your voice thick with heat as you teetered right on the edge.
he hovered close over your face, his arms planted on either side of your head to frame you. with every deep thrust, the silver chain around his neck swung back and forth, lightly grazing your skin.
feeling the intense pressure building deep in your core, a string of broken sighs and desperate praises spilled from your lips. your hands gripped his back, your nails digging into the smooth muscle of his skin to anchor yourself.
low, gravelly moans began to slip from james’s throat as his own climax threatened to break. he locked his dark eyes onto yours, adjusting his pace to match your frantic rhythm, holding back his own release until he felt your body tighten around him.
the moment your walls pulsed in a hard, overwhelming wave, he drove into you one last time and let go, spilling himself deep inside you. your cries merged with his low, ragged groans, echoing together through the quiet room.
you did not fall asleep right away, though the heavy weight of it settled over your eyelids like a soft veil. you yawned silently, wondering what time it could be. feeling the cool breeze filtering through the window, your eyes drifted toward the faint lights outside, your thoughts already scattering to different corners of your life.
without fully realizing it, your gaze shifted to james lying beside you. one arm was tucked behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, his mind seemingly miles away.
you had just experienced some of the best sex of your life, yet you still could not call him a boyfriend. you could not even call him a friend at this point. after all the moments you had shared like this, you still could not grasp what he truly was to you.
it happened sometimes. in the quiet aftermath, your mind would turn gloomy, asking silent questions about your relationship and life, only to find no real answers.
whenever this mood set in, you stopped searching for clarity and instead comforted yourself with what you had, knowing you had far fewer things to worry about than most people.
or perhaps it was simply because james carried his own heavy burdens in life.
whenever you remembered what he went through, your own troubles felt like insignificant, unwanted pebbles along a smooth path. his quiet fight to keep going even inspired you to do the same at times.
feeling the ache in your muscles, you found it hard to get up, but you forced yourself to move and search for your clothes. after slipping into your bra and underwear, you stepped into the other room to retrieve your phone, squinting slightly against the dark to check the time. noticing the bathroom door inside his bedroom, you slipped inside to take care of yourself before coming back out to pick up your skirt.
"you are not staying?"
james's soft voice pulled you sharply out of your thoughts. your own surprised expression mirrored the look on his face.
"you seem to want me around a lot today, huh?" you let out a shaky smile, trying to keep the mood light.
his unreadable expression did not shift as he watched you step into your skirt and pull your blouse over your head.
"it is getting late, and i thought you would be tired," he said, gesturing toward you with his hand as his eyes met yours.
"i am..." you admitted, smoothing down your hair while making a mental note to take a long shower the moment you got home. "...but i have things to do tomorrow. i have to wake up early."
finding a mirror across the room, you flipped a small switch to turn on the light, wincing slightly as the brightness hit your eyes. you stepped in front of the glass and turned around, offering yourself a tight smile as you confirmed everything was back in order.
his eyes never left your reflection. he stood up slowly from the bed, his dark gaze tracking your every move in the mirror.
you left the bedroom to find your handbag, rummaging through it for your favorite candy and popping one into your mouth. behind, you heard james moving as he dressed, his footsteps fading into the small kitchen.
you wandered back into his room to make sure you had not left anything behind, when a sudden, heavy impulse washed over you.
you wondered if he needed money this time around, even though he would never admit it to you. when you arrived earlier, he had bought all the food himself. it had made you uncomfortable; you could not help wanting to provide everything yourself. under normal circumstances, you would never worry about a man spending money on you, but every time james did, an unnamed ache in your chest grew stronger.
you could so easily cover it all, if only he would let you.
opening your bag again, you pulled out your purse. scrolling through the different cards shining under your fingers, you caught sight of a few crisp bills tucked inside. you pulled them out, noting that the amount was more than eight times the cost of the food he had bought.
hesitating for a fraction of a second, terrified of how he might react, you quickly set the cash down on his nightstand and tiptoed out of the room.
you stood near the front door just as james stepped out of the kitchen, taking you in. moving closer to the exit, you let out a hurried "bye," trying to leave before he could stop you. behind you, he was already heading toward his room to grab his jacket, calling out, "wait, how are you getting back? cab?"
you stepped outside, closing the door behind you, and bent down to pull your sneakers on properly.
the air had a crisp, cool bite to it, the leaves on a nearby tree swaying softly in the breeze. you took a few steps into the yard, but the heavy main door suddenly creaked open behind you.
"wait."
you froze.
turning around slowly, you saw him walking toward you, stopping just short of your space. his hand held the paper money you had left behind.
james’s eyes were narrowed, as if he did not for a second believe you had simply forgotten the cash by his bed. his face was tight with quiet fury.
"uh, what happened?" you asked softly, trying to play it off.
he scoffed in disbelief, his head turning to the side before his dark brown eyes snapped back to yours, deeper and colder than before.
"this happened," he said, tilting the bills in his hand as he took another step closer. "what is this supposed to mean?"
the tension in the air made you deeply uneasy. "it was for the food... and, well, yeah."
you hated the way you stuttered, feeling entirely unlike yourself. but you knew how much he despised any talk of money, especially between the two of you. he had always politely shut it down whenever you tried to bring it up.
"did i ask you to pay for anything?" he asked, his tone hardening, making your eyebrows rise in shock.
"or are you paying me for sex?"
at his harsh words, your tired eyes snapped wide open. the accusation felt like a physical blow.
"what? obviously not!"
"obviously?" he repeated bitterly.
you stared at the money gripped tightly in his hand, his tall frame towering over you in the dim courtyard light.
"look, do not take this as pity or anything," you tried to explain, your voice desperate to fix the shift between you. "i just know how quickly things can get hard—"
"you know nothing," he cut you off sharply. "you know nothing about me, and i do not want you getting involved in my life like this."
he grabbed your hand and forcefully shoved the money back into your palm.
you stood there completely stunned, your mouth opening and closing as scorching heat rushed to your face. embarrassment, hurt, and sudden anger twisted together inside your chest.
"right," you spat out, your voice laced with venom. "maybe this is exactly what you deserve."
without waiting for a response, you spun around and marched out of his courtyard. your steps were sharp and fast, your lips pressed into a hard line, a dark frown covering your face.
behind you, there was no sound, no footsteps following after you.
only the cold glow of the streetlights guiding your frantic pace into the night.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
a/n: had this idea for a while ;) especially with james. the plot kind of grew more than I planned. any comments & ideas are appreciated as they motivate me to share more of these stories that come to my mind.
a small apartment on the wrong side of the city. one moment of raw intimacy leads to an attempt to bridge the gap, where pride gets in the way, turning a quiet night into a harsh reality check neither of you saw coming.
6.1K
warnings: emotional distance, miscommunication, unlabelled relationship, friends to benefits?, angst, harsh words, hurtful dialogue, pride & boundaries, class differences, reader's poor attempt at comforting explicit sexual content/smut: oral sex (f & m receiving), over stimulation, hickeys/marking, unprotected p in v, cowgirl/riding position, creampie, slow to rough sex, biting, hair pulling, subtle praise, mild degradation, passionate sex, neck grabbing, teasing, size difference/size handling, missionary sex, brief power play, vulnerability conflict, accusations.
no proofread yet!
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝
there was no musty or aging odor here, only the faint, familiar scent of his fragrance that you’d grown used to smelling on him, especially when you hugged him.
you never thought you’d set foot on this side of the city, a little apart from the center, but still within it, tucked among charming buildings, though not inside one of those.
he lived in one of those low-slung, house like structures that people usually chose out of sheer affordability.
you had braced yourself for a dingy, eerie atmosphere, but it was less like that than you’d imagined.
his place even had a tiny courtyard leading to the front door. the interior was another surprise entirely. james never gave the impression of being untidy, his modest appearance was always put together. but knowing him, his life for a while now, you had expected a cluttered space, especially in a neighborhood like this.
stepping inside, you were greeted by a plain room with creamy white walls, a small plastic window sat across from the entrance. to your right, an open door offered a glimpse into what you guessed was his bedroom. beside it stood an aged brown couch facing a television, a detail that caught you off guard. in front of the couch sat a compact coffee table with peeling paint, its surface holding a neat stack of books.
an old wooden shelf lined with various odds and ends drew your attention, taking up the last remaining space in the room. there was hardly any room left to decorate anyway. turning to your left, you noticed a nook-like kitchen area. it was slightly disheveled; james had clearly been in a rush when he left that morning.
you always tried not to let your face show anything, no matter his lifestyle, no matter what surrounded him. calling it a lifestyle even felt wrong, considering he’d been more or less forced into it by fate’s cruel games.
so, as you stepped in and swept your gaze over the room, you said nothing and sat down cautiously on the couch, which gave a soft groan under your weight. james followed you in from the door, carrying the bags of food you had picked up together, and set them down on the small table.
“well, make yourself at home. i’ll be right back,” he said softly, a gentle contrast to his usual sharp, decisive tone.
you nodded, your eyes tracking him as he vanished behind his bedroom door. when he reappeared, he had changed out of his clothes and stepped back outside, mentioning he needed to fetch something from the yard.
a few quiet minutes passed as you took in the little space around you, your hands resting neatly on your knees over your skirt. any outsider looking at you, with your glossy hair falling over your shoulders, manicured appearance, and tailored clothes, would instantly know you didn't belong in a place like this. without your sneakers left at the door, the chill of the floor seeped through your socks.
restless, you stood up. not quite meaning to do anything in particular, and drifted toward the window, only to find the view blocked by the adjacent building. turning back, your gaze caught a small pile of laundry resting on the floor beside a low shelf. you strolled over and crouched down, enveloped by the fresh, clean scent drifting off the fabric. they were just his clean clothes, likely waiting to be folded and stored away.
you picked up a shirt, casually folding it, and mindlessly lifted it to your nose, breathing in his scent until it made you feel pleasantly lightheaded. folding and cleaning were things you never bothered with at home, and the sudden impulse surprised even you. before you knew it, you had neatly folded most of the pile.
as you reached for another shirt, james’s voice sounded from the doorway above you.
“you really didn’t have to do that,” he said, a mix of surprise and mild concern lacing his voice.
“it’s no trouble at all. i take it you were in a rush this morning?” you asked, trying to ease the delicate tension hanging in the air during your first visit to his home.
“yeah, i overslept...” he admitted, stepping into the kitchen before popping his head back out. “i left them there so i could deal with them when i got back.”
setting the last folded garment onto the stack, you stood up. “well, it’s already done, so no worries,” you replied with a playful, self-satisfied smile, as if you had just cleaned the entire house for him.
returning to the couch, you sat down and met his gaze.
was that a flicker of soft adoration hiding in his clouded eyes?
you couldn't be entirely sure, so you pushed the thought aside, watching as he dried his hands on a white towel.
he simply stood there, observing you with the trace of a smile playing on his lips.
“i guess i’m going to be hearing that line a lot more from now on,” he murmured with a soft chuckle, tossing the towel back onto the kitchen counter.
you kept your teasing smile, tilting your head and giving a casual shrug. “well, your guest comes over and takes care of your chores for you, what's not to like? you should be grateful.”
he looked back at you, his expression suddenly hard to describe. he began walking toward you, only to freeze mid-step as something crossed his mind.
“oh, i almost forgot to give these back,” he said, gesturing with a nod toward two boxes sitting near the side of the couch. “i told him i’d return them after work.”
he leaned down and hoisted the boxes effortlessly, the strain bringing out the defined veins along his arms. tearing your gaze away from his mouth-watering physique with a bit of effort, you looked up to meet his eyes.
“where are you going?” you asked softly. “will it take long?”
“no, they belong to my neighbor,” he replied gently. “he lives right nearby. i’ll be back in just a couple of minutes.”
he disappeared again as your smile slowly faded, and you glanced around once more. you took the food and drinks out of their plastic bag and laid them out on the table. you turned on the tv, since the two of you had agreed to watch something. as you scrolled through, looking for something interesting, your eyes caught a small figure sitting on the shelf.
you set the remote down and stood up, drawn to look closer at the things on it. that same funny little figure, you remembered giving it to him. alongside it were various items that reflected his hobbies, which you were already familiar with. you picked up a small book, one from a french poet, and wondered if he actually read it, though you wouldn’t have been surprised if he did. beneath the book lay a small notebook with a slip of paper tucked between its pages.
curiosity got the better of you, so you gently pulled it out and found a photograph of a woman. the colors had already faded, making it obvious that the picture was quite old. she was smiling, with a subtle dimple near her slender mouth. your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you could never mistake that smile. she smiled just like james. you stepped closer to the light to see her face more clearly. just as you were about to turn the photo over to check for any written notes, you felt a sudden presence.
you turned your head and flinched, finding james’s eyes already fixed on the photo.
seeing you turn to him, he met your gaze. for a moment you braced for anger, for him to snatch it from your hand and scold you for prying into his personal belongings. but his expression remained entirely blank and unreadable.
you swallowed softly and held the photo out toward him.
“i saw it while looking through your books. sorry, i didn’t mean to,”
you said, embarrassment and irritation tangling together inside you as your own words came out sounding stupid to your ears.
“she’s my mother. my family, you asked about,” he said quietly, that same clouded gaze resting on your bright eyes.
you searched instinctively for any trace of tension in them, remembering how many times you’d asked about his background before, only for him to brush it off or give indifferent answers, until you eventually stopped bringing it up altogether.
"she is beautiful," you smiled, at a loss for words at first.
he slowly took the photo from your hand, his thumb gently brushing across the surface as he gazed at it.
"she is," he agreed softly.
you did not press him with many questions about his mother, though he mentioned that this was one of the few photographs he had left of her.
you could sense a deep longing in him, a feeling you had never witnessed before. this vulnerable moment was a first for you. as you stood beside him, watching a strand of hair fall over his forehead while his eyes remained fixed on the picture, you realized how little the two of you actually knew about each other’s feelings in general.
that had never really been the point of your time together anyway. your meetings had always been emotionally detached encounters, driven by little more than pure desire.
a few moments passed, and soon you found yourself back on the couch, eating and watching the movie you had picked out. you sat close, gently wrapping your arm around him as a subtle gesture of comfort after seeing the photograph. yet, you still felt like you failed to grasp whatever was passing through his mind.
you were simply unfamiliar with feelings like these.
born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you had never known genuine heartache, only the fleeting disappointment of not getting what you wanted when your father refused a request.
james had his left arm draped over the back of the couch behind your head, his gaze locked onto the screen. your arm rested casually across his chest, and your legs lay over his open ones. his free hand rested on your exposed thigh where your skirt had ridden up. his warm fingers brought heat to your cold skin while your cheek pressed against the rhythm of his heartbeat.
your attention had long drifted away from the movie. it was a genre you did not particularly care for, though it held james completely captive. his intense, glossy eyes followed every movement on the screen, making you secretly wish he would give that exact same unwavering attention to you, every second of every day.
the sun had already set, and the faint light coming through the window turned dim and dark, even though it was not late. you silently studied his facial features without breaking his focus, wanting to admire him and indulge in your own quiet mischief without him noticing. you shifted your head slightly upward, adjusting your posture without a sound, until your face was resting right beside the exposed skin of his neck.
you slowly brought your head closer to his neck, your nose barely touching his skin. you rested your head on his shoulder, your lips drifting closer to the soft patch of skin just beneath his ear.
neither of you had mentioned anything about physical intimacy when you decided to come over, though that had never been something you needed to speak aloud. still, you felt a sudden rush of warmth spread through your body, especially as his slender fingers, subtle green veins on his hands, brushed idly against your leg. he always did that whenever the two of you watched something together.
you pressed your face softly into his neck, making it look as though you were simply getting sleepy, and inhaled his scent. he did not pull away or stop what he was doing, continuing to stroke his thumb against your thigh while keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.
soft lips brushed against his skin, not quite kissing him yet. your left hand moved along his shoulder, bringing your index finger up to touch the exact spot your lips had just grazed. then you leaned back in, planting a soft peck against his skin, and then another. you let the tip of your tongue briefly touch his warm skin before sealing it with your lips, pulling a tiny section between them to suck gently, feeling a quiet sense of satisfaction at the faint flush of red beginning to form.
james did not seem to mind at all, allowing his fingers to continue their faint, rhythmic caress.
you pressed against his skin again, firmer this time, as you sucked harder, bringing your teeth and tongue into the fold. you felt his grip instantly tighten on your thigh. his left arm wrapped around your back while his hand cupped your chin, gently tilting your head back and turning your face toward him.
"hm, i thought i asked you not to leave any marks there. i cannot cover those up," he half whispered, his eyes searching yours intently.
"you did not listen to me when i told you the exact same thing last time, though," you replied, arching an eyebrow as you waited for his response.
a tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips. his fingers gently stroked your chin while his other hand remained rested against your thigh.
"because your neck looks much better with them. besides, those sheer scarves you match with your outfits suit you well," he answered softly, holding your gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the television.
"mmm? i never knew you liked those. but i only wear them because you refuse to listen to me," you said, your voice dripping with playful, exaggerated irritation.
he simply smiled at that, showing no remorse whatsoever. fueled by his smug expression, you suddenly leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, then took his lips entirely with yours. it was meant to be nothing more than a brief kiss, but his hand slid up from your leg to cup your face while his other arm wrapped firmly around your waist. he kissed you back deeply, his tongue already pressing against the swell of your lower lip, asking for entry. before you could process it, he deepened the kiss completely. your hands tangled into his hair, one of them caressing the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the strands.
his hand moved from your cheek to shift your weight, lifting you up to sit directly in his lap, facing him completely. the glowing television screen was now behind, casting faint light into the dimly lit room.
the two of you broke the kiss to catch your breath. his hands gently caressed your back before settling onto your hips, while his other hand guided your head down to rest against his chest, his eyes drifting back to the moving figures on the screen.
you let out a soft breath, staying still like that for a moment before raising your head slightly. his sharp jawline rested right beside your face. you raised your hand to his neck, slowly tracing down his silver necklace to the collar of his shirt. two of your fingers lightly felt the firm muscle beneath the fabric as they made their way downward, slowly approaching the waistband of his pants.
only then did you notice the faint bulge forming in his pants, sparking a new idea in your mind.
you slowly slid backward, dropping down to the floor between his parted legs. his head turned down toward you, eyebrows raised in silent question. before any words could leave his mouth, your hands wasted no time pulling his pants and boxers down together, releasing his aching length.
your mouth watered instantly at the sight of his firm, veiny shaft and flushed tip. you let your finger trace him from base to top, pausing at the delicate skin near the head.
you felt his breathing grow slightly uneven. keeping eye contact, you closed the distance between his tip and your lips. his attention was no longer on the screen as he looked down at you, that cocky expression returning to his face.
"missed it that much?" he asked softly.
just as he spoke, you extended your tongue and gave the tip a slow lick, pausing to gauge his reaction. he fell quiet and watched you intently, his length twitching in response.
you took the head of his shaft into your mouth, keeping your lips still while your tongue teased him inside, moving in slow circles around the tip. his hand found your hair, gently applying pressure to guide you deeper.
you complied, taking in as much as you could, though his size made it impossible to take him all the way. he began to caress the hair near your forehead without making a sound, simply watching how eagerly you took him. you did not tease him any longer and began a steady rhythm, your eyes occasionally locking onto his half-closed gaze. he let out a low sigh of relief and sank deeper into the couch as you bobbed up and down, feeling him pulse against your tongue.
a soft, pleasant melody began to play from the movie, contrasting with the quiet intensity between the two of you. his head fell back against the couch, his breathing deep and steady, his chest rising and falling in time with your pace.
all of a sudden, he gently halted the movement of your head and guided his dick out of your mouth, leaving a thin strand of saliva connecting his shaft to your swollen, flushed lips.
leaning down, he gripped your arms firmly and lifted you up into his embrace, hooking his other arm beneath your thighs to support your weight. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, locking your legs around his waist. you felt him lean forward slightly, keeping one arm securely around you while using his free hand to pick up the remote and turn off the television.
you expected him to lay you down on the couch, but instead he carried you into the bedroom, your back settling onto the mattress. the room was lit only by the faint glow spilling from the main room and the soft streetlight filtering through the window, leaving everything in shadow except for james's silhouette. not that anything else mattered to you in that moment.
he took off his shirt by pulling it up over his chest, giving you a clear view of his muscular frame as he moved. his skin caught the dim light, and you watched him with a gaze heavy with desire. he stepped up to the edge of the bed near your feet, while you lay back with your hands resting behind your head.
he looked down at you, his mouth parted slightly, as he pulled the shirt free from his arms and let it drop onto the floor behind him.
he leaned down slowly, resting one arm on the mattress to support his weight while his other hand gripped your ankles, pulling you toward him in one fluid motion.
a quiet gasp escaped your lips at the sudden shift. his fingers slowly traced a path up your legs, reaching the zipper of your skirt. he unzipped and removed it deftly, his eyes meeting yours as a soft sound of approval left your throat. left in your white cotton underwear, you instinctively pressed your thighs closer together. he folded your skirt neatly and set it on a chair nearby before returning to undo the top three buttons of your blouse, exposing the curve of your chest above your bra.
he unbuttoned it carefully, laid it beside your skirt, and then leaned in close to your face. positioned right over you, he watched the flutter of your eyelashes before capturing your lips with his own.
he kissed you softly at first, but soon pressed deeper, taking control of the rhythm. you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers catching the chain of his necklace as you gently pulled him closer.
without breaking the contact of his lips, he trailed a path of wet kisses down along your jaw, moving lower until he found the sensitive spot on your neck. he kissed, licked, and gently sucked the soft skin there before drifting down toward your chest, covering it in slow, deliberate kisses.
unclasping your bra, he hooked a finger under the waistband of your underwear, pushing it down your legs and raising them to slide it off completely.
he left your underwear on the chair with the other clothes and wasted no time. he parted your legs, leaving your center fully exposed and glistening with arousal. before he dived in, you brought his head up to your lips, kissing him one more time.
"i want you now, james, please."
he trailed kisses back down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it, making you lose your mind and arch your back off the mattress.
"mhmm, but i want to taste you first, baby."
there it was. the pet name slipped past his lips, hitting the exact right note to make your core ache even more. you tried to press your thighs back together, but james held them firm, opening them even wider.
he moved down at last, planting a line of kisses down from your chest to your stomach. he did not tease you the way you had done to him earlier; setting aside his usual slow pace, he dived right in, pulling a soft moan from your throat.
his tongue flicked over your clit, licking your folds hungrily before pushing deep into your slick entrance. your body tightened around nothing, desperate for his full length.
watching your overwhelmed state, his tongue took one long, sweeping stroke up your wet center, making your eyes roll back. one finger circled slowly around your opening without going inside, driving you mad with anticipation.
his tongue found your clit once more, pressing firmly against the sensitive nerve, making you let out high-pitched whimpers. he pressed a few quick kisses against your mount before dropping back down to your opening, slipping his tongue in and out to push your frustration to the limit.
your voice filled the dim room, calling his name over and over as he drank you in like a starving man.
you pushed his head closer, your legs tightening around him. sensing that you were right on the edge, he suddenly stopped. he easily forced your legs back down and sat up to look at you, his mouth and nose wet with your slickness, which he wiped away with the back of his hand.
you let out a desperate whine, needing the building heat to finally break. but he only gave you a lopsided smirk, his hands already pulling his briefs down to free his fully erect length.
breathing heavily, you watched him stroke his shaft, his thumb lightly running over the swollen tip.
"what was it that you wanted?" he asked, his own breath still coming fast.
you stared at him in utter disbelief. "i already told you what i wanted," you said, a slight smirk returning to your face as your eyebrows arched.
his expression remained unreadable, his eyes dropping down to watch his hand around his shaft before snapping right back to yours. "i did not really hear anything," he said, squinting slightly as if the room were somehow deafeningly loud. "just some whiny noises. i could not make it out." he smirked again.
you pushed yourself up, supporting your weight on your hands behind you. "i want you to," you glanced down briefly at his dick, "fuck me, james. so well that i forget everything else except the pleasure you give me."
you whispered the words seductively, making him smile, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
expecting him to lean over you, you were surprised when he shifted across the bed and lay flat on his back, gesturing for you to come closer. you obeyed and moved over him. he immediately grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him, dragging your wet center along his hard shaft, drawing a sharp intake of breath from both of you.
you sat up over him, sliding your body against his, leaning down just enough to let him take your nipple into his mouth once more. you began to grind against him, soft moans escaping your lips, your back arched and your head tilted toward the ceiling.
then you felt his fingers slip between your bodies, guiding his tip to your entrance and pushing himself all the way inside.
a soft moan escaped your lips as he filled you completely, his length leaving no room for your walls to breathe.
you began to move slowly, setting your own pace, pulling yourself up until only his tip remained inside before sinking back down all the way to the base.
looking down, you caught his dark, sparkling eyes fixed on your flushed face while he drew your nipple into his mouth. his hands gripped your hips firmly, holding and caressing you with enough pressure that you knew the marks of his fingers would likely stay on your skin later.
the intensity in his eyes sparked a new sensation within you. it was hard to tell what was running through his mind in that moment, aside from the sound of his heavy breathing and quiet, ragged gasps.
releasing your chest from his lips, his hand moved from your hip up to your back, just above your waist, pulling your upper body flush against his chest.
face to face with him, you instinctively reached for his lips. the two of you fell into a deep, desperate kiss. his teeth nipped at your lips while his fingers tangled into your hair, tugging with a rough edge as he snapped his hips upward in a sharp, hard thrust deep into your slick core.
you broke the kiss with a loud moan, your lips stinging from the force of his mouth.
you glanced down at him a moment later. even though you enjoyed his usual roughness, your mind felt slightly hazy from his sudden loss of restraint.
his gaze drifted down to where your bodies met before snapping back to yours, sensing your eyes on him.
the two of you held each other's stare, an intense, quiet tension rising between you that felt entirely distinct from the physical friction of your bodies.
with your arms beginning to ache from supporting your weight, you found yourself waiting for him to break the silence, sensing that he wanted to say or ask something but chose to hold it back.
instead, he deftly flipped you onto your side before rolling over to take the lead. he lifted your legs up over his shoulders and began pounding into you with hard, relentless thrusts.
your voice immediately echoed through the room, mingling with the slick, obscene sounds of your heated, tangled bodies.
his thrusts grew heavier and less rhythmic as he finally released your legs, head tilted back, his mouth parted as he fought for air. then his gaze dropped back to you, thumb suddenly found your clit, applying a steady, circular pressure that pulled a sharp whine from your chest.
you reached up for him, wrapping your arms into the air in an open invitation. he watched your desperate state for a heartbeat before sinking his weight back down, his lips instantly finding yours. james kissed you again and again, slowing his pace just enough to draw out the pleasure.
"i want to feel you come with me, james, please," you pleaded against his mouth, your voice thick with heat as you teetered right on the edge.
he hovered close over your face, his arms planted on either side of your head to frame you. with every deep thrust, the silver chain around his neck swung back and forth, lightly grazing your skin.
feeling the intense pressure building deep in your core, a string of broken sighs and desperate praises spilled from your lips. your hands gripped his back, your nails digging into the smooth muscle of his skin to anchor yourself.
low, gravelly moans began to slip from james’s throat as his own climax threatened to break. he locked his dark eyes onto yours, adjusting his pace to match your frantic rhythm, holding back his own release until he felt your body tighten around him.
the moment your walls pulsed in a hard, overwhelming wave, he drove into you one last time and let go, spilling himself deep inside you. your cries merged with his low, ragged groans, echoing together through the quiet room.
you did not fall asleep right away, though the heavy weight of it settled over your eyelids like a soft veil. you yawned silently, wondering what time it could be. feeling the cool breeze filtering through the window, your eyes drifted toward the faint lights outside, your thoughts already scattering to different corners of your life.
without fully realizing it, your gaze shifted to james lying beside you. one arm was tucked behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, his mind seemingly miles away.
you had just experienced some of the best sex of your life, yet you still could not call him a boyfriend. you could not even call him a friend at this point. after all the moments you had shared like this, you still could not grasp what he truly was to you.
it happened sometimes. in the quiet aftermath, your mind would turn gloomy, asking silent questions about your relationship and life, only to find no real answers.
whenever this mood set in, you stopped searching for clarity and instead comforted yourself with what you had, knowing you had far fewer things to worry about than most people.
or perhaps it was simply because james carried his own heavy burdens in life.
whenever you remembered what he went through, your own troubles felt like insignificant, unwanted pebbles along a smooth path. his quiet fight to keep going even inspired you to do the same at times.
feeling the ache in your muscles, you found it hard to get up, but you forced yourself to move and search for your clothes. after slipping into your bra and underwear, you stepped into the other room to retrieve your phone, squinting slightly against the dark to check the time. noticing the bathroom door inside his bedroom, you slipped inside to take care of yourself before coming back out to pick up your skirt.
"you are not staying?"
james's soft voice pulled you sharply out of your thoughts. your own surprised expression mirrored the look on his face.
"you seem to want me around a lot today, huh?" you let out a shaky smile, trying to keep the mood light.
his unreadable expression did not shift as he watched you step into your skirt and pull your blouse over your head.
"it is getting late, and i thought you would be tired," he said, gesturing toward you with his hand as his eyes met yours.
"i am..." you admitted, smoothing down your hair while making a mental note to take a long shower the moment you got home. "...but i have things to do tomorrow. i have to wake up early."
finding a mirror across the room, you flipped a small switch to turn on the light, wincing slightly as the brightness hit your eyes. you stepped in front of the glass and turned around, offering yourself a tight smile as you confirmed everything was back in order.
his eyes never left your reflection. he stood up slowly from the bed, his dark gaze tracking your every move in the mirror.
you left the bedroom to find your handbag, rummaging through it for your favorite candy and popping one into your mouth. behind, you heard james moving as he dressed, his footsteps fading into the small kitchen.
you wandered back into his room to make sure you had not left anything behind, when a sudden, heavy impulse washed over you.
you wondered if he needed money this time around, even though he would never admit it to you. when you arrived earlier, he had bought all the food himself. it had made you uncomfortable; you could not help wanting to provide everything yourself. under normal circumstances, you would never worry about a man spending money on you, but every time james did, an unnamed ache in your chest grew stronger.
you could so easily cover it all, if only he would let you.
opening your bag again, you pulled out your purse. scrolling through the different cards shining under your fingers, you caught sight of a few crisp bills tucked inside. you pulled them out, noting that the amount was more than eight times the cost of the food he had bought.
hesitating for a fraction of a second, terrified of how he might react, you quickly set the cash down on his nightstand and tiptoed out of the room.
you stood near the front door just as james stepped out of the kitchen, taking you in. moving closer to the exit, you let out a hurried "bye," trying to leave before he could stop you. behind you, he was already heading toward his room to grab his jacket, calling out, "wait, how are you getting back? cab?"
you stepped outside, closing the door behind you, and bent down to pull your sneakers on properly.
the air had a crisp, cool bite to it, the leaves on a nearby tree swaying softly in the breeze. you took a few steps into the yard, but the heavy main door suddenly creaked open behind you.
"wait."
you froze.
turning around slowly, you saw him walking toward you, stopping just short of your space. his hand held the paper money you had left behind.
james’s eyes were narrowed, as if he did not for a second believe you had simply forgotten the cash by his bed. his face was tight with quiet fury.
"uh, what happened?" you asked softly, trying to play it off.
he scoffed in disbelief, his head turning to the side before his dark brown eyes snapped back to yours, deeper and colder than before.
"this happened," he said, tilting the bills in his hand as he took another step closer. "what is this supposed to mean?"
the tension in the air made you deeply uneasy. "it was for the food... and, well, yeah."
you hated the way you stuttered, feeling entirely unlike yourself. but you knew how much he despised any talk of money, especially between the two of you. he had always politely shut it down whenever you tried to bring it up.
"did i ask you to pay for anything?" he asked, his tone hardening, making your eyebrows rise in shock.
"or are you paying me for sex?"
at his harsh words, your tired eyes snapped wide open. the accusation felt like a physical blow.
"what? obviously not!"
"obviously?" he repeated bitterly.
you stared at the money gripped tightly in his hand, his tall frame towering over you in the dim courtyard light.
"look, do not take this as pity or anything," you tried to explain, your voice desperate to fix the shift between you. "i just know how quickly things can get hard—"
"you know nothing," he cut you off sharply. "you know nothing about me, and i do not want you getting involved in my life like this."
he grabbed your hand and forcefully shoved the money back into your palm.
you stood there completely stunned, your mouth opening and closing as scorching heat rushed to your face. embarrassment, hurt, and sudden anger twisted together inside your chest.
"right," you spat out, your voice laced with venom. "maybe this is exactly what you deserve."
without waiting for a response, you spun around and marched out of his courtyard. your steps were sharp and fast, your lips pressed into a hard line, a dark frown covering your face.
behind you, there was no sound, no footsteps following after you.
only the cold glow of the streetlights guiding your frantic pace into the night.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
a/n: had this idea for a while ;) especially with james. the plot kind of grew more than I planned. any comments & ideas are appreciated as they motivate me to share more of these stories that come to my mind.
This pretty boy could just stand there mindlessly, doing nothing in particular, stare into the camera with those almost innocent looking orbs, and still look like a top-paid model.
in which: an ordinary electronics store becomes a place you keep returning to, not because of what’s sold inside, but because of who’s waiting behind the counter. especially when he smiles like that.
6.2k
includes: non-idol au, salesman keonho, strangers to lovers, teens, awkward flirting, shared favorite artist, lots of smiling, mutual pining, soft romance, first kiss, skinship, making out, reader acts shy, fluff, cortis, martin playing matchmaker without permission, yearning, mild jealousy
a quick note to make sure: this fic is in no way intended to romanticize relationships involving minors. all characters are written as adults (18). if anything in the story comes across differently than intended, please let me know.
✧.* ✧.* ✧.*
you pushed your sunglasses up onto your head and glanced around one last time. if you remembered correctly, there was an electronics store somewhere along this street. it was part of your usual route to college, yet somehow you’d never actually stepped inside.
your gaze swept over the row of buildings until it landed on a small, cozy-looking shop tucked between two larger ones. a couple of employees were carrying boxes of furniture inside, while the familiar blue sign next door caught your attention.
there it was.
after checking for oncoming traffic, you crossed the street and headed toward the entrance.
the midday sun warmed your skin. you wore a light brown skirt with a thin matching jacket layered over a simple white shirt. pinned to the lapel of your jacket was a tiny embroidered star, small enough to go unnoticed by most people, yet somehow your favorite little detail.
before stepping inside, you opened your phone and used the black screen as a mirror. your eyes immediately found the tiny crack running along the edge of your screen protector. it wasn’t even that noticeable anymore, but once you’d seen it, you couldn’t stop thinking about it.
that was one of the reasons you were here. your old earphones had finally given up after years of loyal service, and while you were at it, you figured you might as well replace the cracked screen protector too. better to let someone else do it than trust your own clumsy hands.
as the glass door swung open, a cool rush of air-conditioning washed over you, instantly relieving you from the summer heat. your eyes wandered across rows of neatly displayed gadgets, colorful phone cases, speakers, keyboards, and accessories lining the shelves. the store was much quieter than you’d expected, especially compared to the crowds you’d seen through the windows a few evenings ago.
you drifted toward one of the display shelves, scanning the products in search of the earphone section. the deeper you walked into the store, the more you noticed dozens of little gadgets you never knew existed, yet somehow suddenly felt tempted to buy.
finally, you spotted it. rows of earphones and headphones filled the shelves.
stepping closer to the counter, your attention lingered on the different designs, colors, and tiny details decorating each box. there were far more choices than you’d expected.
only then did you notice someone crouched behind the counter.
a boy was kneeling in front of an open drawer, organizing product boxes with quick, practiced movements. his fingers worked effortlessly as he sorted everything into place. a few strands of dark hair had fallen over his forehead, framing features that somehow looked softer under the bright store lights.
as if sensing your presence, he looked up. your eyes met. then came one of the warmest smiles you’d ever seen.
he rose to his feet, absentmindedly smoothing the front of his shirt before stepping closer to the counter.
“hi,” he greeted. “how can i help you?”
his voice was just as gentle as his smile, carrying an easy warmth that immediately put you at ease.
“hi.”
you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear unconsciously, before glancing toward the display behind him.
“i was looking for a new pair of earphones.”
he nodded, watching you for a moment before turning toward the shelves.
“do you have a specific pair in mind?”
“um…” you paused for a second. “actually, i could use some recommendations. i don’t really know the differences… other than sound quality.”
as you spoke, he’d already turned back to the display, listening attentively while scanning the shelves.
“got it,” he muttered with a nod. “give me a second.”
he lined up several different pairs in front of you, and you couldn’t help but watch his slender fingers skim over the boxes, quickly checking model numbers before bending down to search for a few more. once he seemed satisfied, he placed each box neatly on the counter before resting both hands against it. he gave the selection one last glance before looking back at you from beneath his perfectly shaped eyebrows.
“wow…” you let out a short chuckle. “that’s… a lot of options.”
your fingers brushed over a few of the boxes before your eyes found his again.
“i take it the price makes quite a difference?”
“well…” he smiled. “it definitely can, but it really depends.”
he tapped one of the boxes lightly.
“what do you usually use them for? music, podcasts, calls?”
“mostly music.”
his smile widened almost instantly.
“are you the kind of person who listens on the way to class…” he tilted his head slightly, “…or the kind who has music playing almost every hour of the day? like…” he pointed a thumb toward himself. “…me.”
you couldn’t help but smile.
“if sound quality is important to you,” he continued, sliding three boxes closer, “i’d probably recommend these. this one’s a little more expensive, but these two are great choices as well.”
he looked back at you.
“how much are you looking to spend?”
being someone who never minded spending a little extra on anything related to music, you told him the price range you’d been aiming for.
he nodded immediately.
“then i’d go with this one.”
you looked over the options once more before glancing back up.
“do i… get to try them?”
“of course.”
he crouched behind the counter again and searched through one of the drawers before pulling out two display models.
“here.”
holding one in each hand, he waited for you to choose.
as you reached for them, your fingers brushed lightly against his.
you quickly slipped them into your ears before unlocking your phone. without thinking much of it, you played the last song you’d been listening to.
the familiar melody filled your ears.
almost instinctively, your eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment, your brows drawing together ever so slightly as you focused on the sound. you listened carefully, paying attention to every little detail before giving a small nod of approval.
when you opened your eyes again, you found him watching you.
one elbow rested on the counter while his chin leaned against the back of his hand. there wasn’t any particular expression on his face, just a soft smile that was almost impossible to notice unless you looked closely.
the moment your eyes met, he straightened.
“so?” he asked, smiling. “how are they?”
“they’re actually really good.”
there was a brief pause.
he opened his mouth as though debating whether to say something.
“honestly…” he glanced toward your phone for just a second, “…i think they’d sound good through almost anything.”
you blinked.
“…sorry?”
he rubbed the back of his neck.
“the artist.”
the corners of his mouth lifted as though he’d realized he’d spoken his thoughts aloud.
your surprise only lasted a second before a smile spread across your face.
“oh, seriously? you listen to them too?”
“they’re my favorite artist.”
there was something almost proud in the way he admitted it.
he carefully took the earphones back from you.
“so?” he asked, placing them beside the other pair. “want to try another model, or…”
“no.” you smiled, shaking your head. “i like these.”
“…and i like the color.”
“good choice.”
he nodded to himself before putting the remaining boxes back where they belonged.
after writing down the product information on a receipt, he handed it to you with another smile.
“you can pay at the register.”
you took the receipt from him before making your way to the register.
a tall blond employee greeted you with a polite smile from behind the counter.
“paying by card or cash?”
you paid, thanked him, and returned to the place where your shopping bag was already waiting.
the boy stood with his back to you, busy returning the remaining boxes to their places.
as if sensing your footsteps, he glanced over his shoulder.
he picked up the neatly packed bag and held it out to you.
you accepted it with both hands.
“thank you so much.”
he smiled, the same warm smile you’d found yourself noticing more than once during the past fifteen minutes.
“my pleasure.”
you nodded with a small smile before turning toward the door, “have a nice day.”
“you too.”
the little bell above the entrance chimed softly as you stepped back into the warmth of the afternoon sun.
it wasn’t until you reached your apartment that you finally opened the bag.
beneath the box sat the store’s business card, along with two tiny star-shaped stickers.
slowly, your eyes drifted to the small embroidered star pinned to your jacket.
a smile tugged at your lips before you picked up the business card.
the front of the card displayed the store’s information.
when you turned it over, however, you noticed a name written carefully in blue ink.
keonho.
the handwriting was clean, almost careful.
below it, in much smaller letters, he’d written:
if you have any problems with them, just ask for me.
your thumb traced over the ink for a brief second before you found yourself smiling all over again.
———————— 💿
as friday came around, the city’s streets, cafés, and, of course, shops filled with people. you slipped one of your earphones out, taking in the familiar sights once again.
it had been a little over a week.
as if your phone had somehow sensed you were looking for an excuse to replace the screen protector, it had managed to injure itself twice more, leaving a few fresh cracks across the edges. if someone had asked whether you were upset about it, saying yes would have been a lie.
because, truthfully, it gave you another reason to visit the electronics store. the reason?
simple.
ever since that afternoon, keonho hadn’t quite left your mind. you had even caught yourself wondering how someone could leave such an impression after only a few minutes. considering your almost nonexistent dating history, it was a little surprising, even to yourself.
there was just something about him.
if someone sat him down in a chair and simply told him to smile, you were convinced you could watch him for hours without getting bored, the same way people admired paintings in a museum.
it wasn’t just his smile, either.
it was the way he carried himself. the quiet confidence in the way he worked, how naturally he helped people, how focused he seemed without ever looking impatient.
you had a feeling those gentle eyes hid far more than they let on.
and somehow, you wanted to find out everything.
you only hoped someone hadn’t beaten you to that smile.
the store was much busier than the last time you’d visited. customers wandered between the shelves, chatted with one another, and crowded around the counters.
before you even realized it, your feet had already carried you to the familiar corner of the shop.
the screen protectors weren’t even in this section. still, you found yourself walking there anyway. you simply couldn’t help it.
this time, there was no sign of keonho. instead, the same blond employee from the register greeted customers behind the counter. as you stepped closer, your eyes caught the name on his tag.
martin.
there was only one customer ahead of you, so you waited patiently, though your eyes kept wandering around the store as if searching for someone.
martin noticed. “hi. how can i help you?”
you smiled a little awkwardly. “hi… oh, i actually wanted to…”
you pulled your phone from your pocket before the words slipped out almost on their own.
“…is keonho working today?”
martin blinked before looking around the store.
“uh… yeah, i’m pretty sure he is.”
his eyes scanned the aisles, raised his voice slightly.
“yo, keonho!”
you instinctively turned around.
keonho walked over at an unhurried pace, one hand slipping out of his pocket to brush his hair back out of habit. he looked at martin with a slightly puzzled expression, but as he got closer, his eyes landed on you.
seeing him again made your thoughts scatter almost instantly. all the words you’d planned on the way here suddenly seemed to disappear.
martin had already turned back to another customer, leaving the two of you at the counter.
“hi,” keonho greeted, absentmindedly gathering a few receipts and small slips of paper from the counter before looking at you again.
he tilted his head ever so slightly.
“haven’t we met before?”
the fact that he remembered you made something flutter inside your chest.
“yeah,” you smiled. “we have.”
his eyes dropped briefly to the shopping bag hanging from your wrist.
“did something go wrong with the earphones?”
“no,” you answered quickly. “actually, i wanted to…”
you held up your phone.
“…get a new screen protector.”
he nodded, listening as he jotted something down in a small notebook beside the register, not once losing track of what you were saying.
“and…” you hesitated.
“i thought i’d say hi, too.”
the words escaped before you had a chance to stop them.
the moment they left your mouth, you wanted to hide. heat crept up your neck, and you silently prayed your cheeks hadn’t given you away.
keonho looked up, a smile slowly appeared on his face.
it wasn’t quite the same one from last time. this one carried the faintest hint of amusement, almost as though he knew exactly how unexpected that sounded.
for a brief second, you worried you’d made things awkward. but before you could overthink it any further, he spoke.
“i’m glad you did.” his smile softened. “it’s nice when people come back. it makes the place feel… friendlier.”
somehow, those simple words eased every bit of embarrassment you’d been feeling. you smiled sheepishly.
“as for the screen protector…” he glanced toward the middle of the store. “they’re over there.” he took a step before stopping. “…actually, come with me.”
you followed him through the crowded aisles until you reached a large oval-shaped service counter in the center of the store. two employees were already helping customers on the other side.
keonho slipped into the space beside them as though he’d done it a thousand times.
you waited where you were until he looked up and motioned for you to come closer.
one of the employees beside him glanced over. “huh?” he nudged keonho lightly with his shoulder. “what are you doing over here? let me do my job.”
it was obvious he was only teasing him. keonho didn’t even look bothered. instead, he smirked.
“well…” he shrugged. “some people just do their job so well that customers only want them.”
heat rushed to your cheeks and ears almost instantly.
the other employee let out a quiet scoff before giving keonho a light shove with his shoulder. “keep dreaming.”
judging by the easy way they joked with each other, they had probably worked together for quite some time.
he turned back to the customer he had been helping, it was obvious the conversation had been between the two of them. but you’d heard it too.
the conversation followed much the same course as last time, keonho once again helping you choose the right screen protector.
he somehow managed to make you laugh more than once along the way.
“trust me,” he said, holding up one of the boxes. “if this one survived me, it’ll survive anyone.”
he worked carefully, peeling away the cracked protector before cleaning the screen with practiced movements.
as the display lit up for a brief second, his eyes caught the name at the top.
“y/n?”
you looked up.
“yeah.”
he nodded lightly.
“just making sure i remember it.”
for some reason, hearing those words made your heart skip a beat.
his attention returned to the phone, carefully lining up the new protector before pressing it down with steady hands.
the conversation drifted back to music before either of you realized it.
you found yourselves talking about favorite songs, albums, and the artist you’d been listening to the last time.
after making sure the edges of the protector had settled properly, keonho leaned just a little closer.
“a little secret info..”
his voice dropped into a quiet half-whisper.
“…i heard they’re actually considering this city for the tour.”
your eyes widened.
“you’re serious?”
“nothing’s confirmed.”
for a brief moment, neither of you said anything.
then he looked back at your phone.
“guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
——————— 💿
the third time coming wasn’t even for you, but for your friend, who insisted on stopping by the store to get a few things she needed.
even though your eyes always wandered toward the shop whenever you passed this street, you’d become a little more reserved lately. you still weren’t sure whether you should keep finding your way back to keonho or stop yourself before you became that annoying customer who kept showing up for no reason.
a few days after that conversation, the tour dates had finally been announced. you remembered smiling the moment you saw this city on the list. somehow, your excitement over the concert became tied to the memory of the person who had been the first to tell you about it.
nevertheless, it had been almost two weeks, and there you were again, standing between the familiar shelves.
you made no effort to look toward keonho’s usual corner, simply wandering around without much purpose while your friend moved from one aisle to another, asking martin countless questions. you didn’t even look at his face this time, pretending to be interested in the products around you instead.
after a while, curiosity got the better of you. you tilted your head just enough to steal a glance. there he was, standing in his usual place.
you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes narrowed ever so slightly whenever he smiled, the tiny crease beneath them, the little lines around his mouth, the way his head tilted just a little whenever he listened to someone. his hands were always moving gently as he explained something, never rushed, never careless.
he was talking to a customer, you assumed. after shifting your gaze a little, you realized it was a girl standing across from him, though from where you were, you couldn’t make out her face. you had always wondered whether he smiled like that with everyone.
apparently, he did.
an odd feeling settled around your chest, almost enough to make it ache. you knew it was ridiculous. smiling at customers was part of his job, and yet seeing him standing there with another girl somehow made you unexpectedly uneasy.
someone called out to him from another part of the store. he simply nodded in response, completely unbothered, before continuing the conversation as if nothing had happened. you found yourself looking away.
your friend was still talking to martin, who had disappeared for a moment to grab the item she’d asked for. after handing it to her, he finally noticed you.
“hey,” he greeted with a smile.
before you could explain that you were only there because of your friend, martin’s eyes wandered past you.
“keonho!”
he lifted his hand slightly to catch his attention, “your customer’s back.”
your heart skipped for a second, “no, i actually don’t need anythi-”
you stopped yourself as you noticed the girl was no longer standing at keonho’s counter.
having heard martin, he made his way over at his usual unhurried pace.
“y/n?”
he smiled as soon as your eyes met.
“hey.”
his warm voice seemed to melt away the uncomfortable feeling that had settled in your chest only moments ago.
you smiled back almost instinctively.
before you knew it, the conversation had drifted away from your usual customer - employee exchange. the two of you stood a little closer now, separated only by the counter, talking as though you were simply two people catching up after not seeing each other for a while.
“so…” he began, a faint, mischievous glint finding its way into his eyes. “…you saw the announcement?”
you nodded, unable to hide your smile.
without thinking, the question escaped your lips.
“you’re going, right?”
“of course.” he tilted his head slightly toward martin. “it’s just… that guy won’t be able to make it, and my other friends don’t really listen to them enough to sit through the whole concert.”
“oh, tell me about it.” you smiled knowingly. “i only managed to convince one of my friends to come.”
the conversation fell into a brief silence. more the kind where both of you seemed to be thinking about the exact same thing.
you took a quiet breath.
“would you like to-”
“oh, actually, i wanted to-”
the two of you stopped at the same time.
for a second, neither of you spoke. then a laugh escaped both of you almost simultaneously.
“okay,” keonho smiled. “you first.”
oh, to hell with it. the worst he can say is no.
you looked up at him.
“would you like to… go with me?”
for the first time since you’d met him, he looked genuinely caught off guard. his eyebrows lifted ever so slightly before a warm laugh slipped past his lips. a faint flush spread across his cheeks.
“yeah… actually, i was going to ask you the exact same thing.”
he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling almost sheepishly.
your eyes widened.
“really?”
“i just…” he let out another quiet laugh. “i didn’t know how i’d ask.” his smile softened.
“i don’t exactly have your number.” he held your gaze for a moment before continuing. “so i was hoping you’d stop by again.”
for a second, all you could do was stare at him. a disbelieving laugh escaped you.
before either of you could say anything else, martin’s voice reached the two of you from the other side of the counter.
“keonho, i need you for a second!”
he glanced over his shoulder. “coming.”
he looked back at you, a hint of reluctance in his smile, as though he wasn’t quite ready for the conversation to end.
“one second.”
he reached for a small notepad lying on the counter, tore off a blank piece, and handed it to you together with a pen.
“i’d rather not spend another two weeks hoping you’ll walk through that door again.”
you laughed quietly, taking the pen from him.
as you finished writing the last digit, he folded the paper carefully and slipped it into his pocket.
“i’ll text you.”
with one last smile, he finally turned back toward martin, leaving you standing there with a warmth in your chest that had nothing to do with the afternoon sun.
——————— 💿
before you knew it, the day of the concert had finally arrived.
through the days following your last encounter at the shop, you could slowly feel your relationship settling into something different. somewhere between exchanging numbers and making plans for the concert, the awkwardness that had once filled your conversations quietly disappeared, leaving behind something much more comfortable.
you found yourself becoming more confident in your interest in him, not only in the butterflies he gave you whenever he smiled, but in the little things that made him who he was. you wanted to know about his life, his friends, the things that made him happy, the foods he always ordered, how seriously he took his sleep despite insisting he could function on a few hours, and how he never seemed to miss an opportunity to pull harmless little pranks on martin whenever work became too quiet.
your conversations always carried a quiet respect for one another. neither of you ever tried to force a topic or rush into something more personal than the other was willing to share. somehow, that made every conversation feel even more genuine, and before you realized it, talking to him had become one of the most natural parts of your day.
a few days later, the two of you even found yourselves sitting across from each other with cups of coffee in your hands at the newly opened café right next to his workplace. what had started with recommendations for earphones somehow turned into conversations that easily stretched from one topic to another, making neither of you notice how quickly time slipped away.
you exchanged social media not long after.
just as you’d expected, his instagram somehow looked exactly like him. it was filled with faceless photos taken in different places, peaceful streets and cafés that somehow looked prettier through his camera, pictures of his dog, occasional silly selfies, and countless moments shared with his boys.
he was.. unexpectedly chill.
there was nothing forced about the way he presented himself, nothing that looked carefully curated just for the sake of looking good. somehow, every little post made you feel like you were getting to know another side of him, and with each passing day, your heart found another reason to wander a little closer toward his.
whenever you shared a story or posted something, he would almost always leave a like. sometimes he’d reply to an article you had shared, sometimes to the song playing in the background, and other times he’d send a message about the game you’d been playing lately, somehow managing to turn even the smallest interaction into a conversation.
one thing, however, didn’t escape your attention. there was no sign of a relationship anywhere. not in old photos, highlights, passing mentions, nothing.
it wasn’t as though you had gone looking for it. still, you couldn’t deny the quiet relief that settled in your chest.
you had already expected as much after the way he’d admitted he was hoping you’d come back to the shop.
now the two of you stood among thousands of people.
the moment your friend heard you were going with a boy, a potential boyfriend, as she happily called him , she insisted she would only be a third wheel and immediately sold her ticket to someone else. just like that, it was only you and keonho.
he took the empty water bottle from your hands together with his own, lifting them slightly before making his way toward the nearest trash bin.
you watched him disappear into the crowd for a moment before he returned, stopping beside you once again. you couldn’t help but steal another glance at him.
you had spent far longer than you’d like to admit putting together your outfit, taking inspiration from the aesthetic of the artist’s latest album. after exchanging countless messages about what the two of you were planning to wear, you’d settled on something you genuinely liked.
keonho, on the other hand, had kept things much simpler. yet somehow, as soon as you saw him, you realized he had matched parts of it with yours in his own subtle way. it made you smile more than you cared to admit.
the concert itself passed even more beautifully than you had imagined.
the moment the lights dimmed and the first notes echoed through the arena, everything else faded into the background.
you sang until your voice grew hoarse, laughed between songs, jumped with the crowd, and more than once found yourself standing face to face with keonho, both of you grinning without a reason other than simply being there together.
perhaps hearing the songs you had played on repeat for months was enough to make the night unforgettable.
or perhaps, it was seeing those same songs reflected in his eyes that made your heart feel lighter than it ever had before.
with the final song, the crowd erupted at last, cheers and applause ringing out from every direction. the sky had deepened into a darker shade by then, the kind that only came after sunset. the two of you laughed about little moments from the concert, replaying funny interactions with the crowd and arguing over which performance had been the best. near the venue stretched a large park, and the two of you drifted toward it without quite deciding to, following the crowd’s natural pull. unlike the daytime warmth, the evening air carried a faint chill. you felt it settle over your skin and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to rub some warmth back into them.
keonho had been talking, and you’d been listening closely, answering when he turned to you, until he paused mid-sentence.
“hey, are you cold?”
“not really. i’m sure i’ll warm up in a minute, it’s probably just from all the jumping earlier, now that the energy’s worn off,” you said, a little too quickly.
he studied you for a moment, clearly unconvinced, and seemed to weigh his options. he hadn’t brought a jacket himself, so instead he simply wrapped an arm around you, rubbing warmth into your arm, pulling you close without pressing too much weight against you.
“is this okay?” he asked quietly. “or… do you want me to walk you home?”
you shook your head immediately.
“no, no, this is fine, actually, thank you, though. i think we can keep walking. the weather’s nice.”
it was true. as the path stretched on, soft lights reflected off the damp greenery, and the faint hum of distant cars mixed with the easy, relaxed expressions of the people passing by.
before long, the crowds began to thin.
the two of you kept walking, eventually reaching a quieter stretch of the park, where a single bench sat beside a small patch of delicate flowers lining the path. you lingered there for a while, indecisive, scrolling through a few funny videos you’d taken of each other throughout the night. eventually, you both slipped your phones away, glancing around, each of you seeming to work up to saying something.
“today was… really great.”
you smiled to yourself.
“i didn’t realize how much i’d been craving something like this.”
your voice grew quieter.
“and… it was even more fun with you. i mean, we’re both fans, so that obviously helped…” you let out a shy laugh. “but… thank you, for making it even better.”
you’d only managed to glance at him once at the very beginning. after that, your attention stayed on your hands, suddenly finding your rings incredibly interesting.
when no answer came, you slowly lifted your head, and found yourself caught completely off guard. you couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at you like that, like you were the most precious thing in the room. he’d leaned in slightly, arms crossed loosely in front of him, the surrounding lights catching in his hair, while his eyes stayed on yours without the slightest intention of looking away, a small smile tugging at his lips. he looked quietly amused by your shyness, almost as if he found your nervousness endearing, by the way your words had rushed out all at once. his gaze dropped to your hands next, and gently, he pulled one free from where it rested, then the other, holding them both in his own before meeting your eyes again.
“i could say the same about you, y/n. i don’t think i would’ve been half as excited tonight without you next to me.”
you smiled shyly again, glancing briefly at the ground before looking back up at him. it was only then you realized just how close your faces had gotten. he didn’t say anything else, just watched you intently. following some instinct you couldn’t quite name, you leaned in slightly and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. it was quick, chaste, barely anything at all. you pulled back almost immediately, half-expecting him to gently redirect things, to say he wasn’t ready for something like this. instead, his expression stayed unreadable, though if anything, he seemed almost relieved.
before you fully registered what you’d done, he leaned in again, your hands still held in his. you expected him to aim for your cheek the same way. instead, he went for your lips.
a spark of heat shot straight down your spine the moment his soft lips pressed against yours. he lingered there for a breath, keeping the contact tender and sweet, before drawing back slightly to read your expression. seeing your wide-eyed shock, he panicked slightly, stepping back with an apologetic wince.
“uh, sorry, i shouldn’t have done that.”
before he could finish, you gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him back into another kiss. you pressed your lips against his again, this time with certainty. the initial sweetness dissolved into a slow, unhurried rhythm as you parted your lips slightly, brushing them against his bottom lip. keonho let out a soft breath against your mouth, answering your cue instantly. his hands let go of yours, sliding down to rest securely on your waist, his large palms warm through your clothes.
he tilted his head slightly, deepening the kiss just enough to make it more comfortable. his tongue brushed gently over your lower lip in a silent question. when you parted your lips a little more, he smiled faintly against the kiss before deepening it, slow and careful, never rushing you.
his grip on your waist tightened ever so slightly, drawing you just a little closer until there was barely any space left between you.
when you finally pulled away to catch your breath, your foreheads rested together in the quiet night. his chest rose and fell softly against yours, a breathless smile playing on his lips, while his hands remained comfortably settled at your waist. neither of you spoke.
the night, perhaps, couldn’t have ended any better than that. you were sure that the days ahead wouldn’t feel quite the same after the kiss you had shared.
life had a funny way of changing without asking for permission. before you even realized it, someone had found a permanent place in your everyday life, making even the simplest moments feel a little brighter.
—————— 💿
you carefully packed the freshly baked cookies into a container before slipping it into your tote bag, making sure the lid was secure.
now only a few steps away from your destination, you spotted the familiar dark hair of your boyfriend peeking through the half open door of the building. just as you reached it, the others came out alongside him, chatting among themselves.
the day couldn’t have been more perfect for a picnic. the warmth of summer had settled in comfortably, but the weather was kind enough to send a gentle breeze every now and then, making the afternoon feel pleasantly light. the idea had come up during one of your conversations a few days ago, now that everyone was finally free for the summer holidays.
everyone had their own bags packed with snacks and drinks.
while you were in the middle of a conversation with your friend, martin nudged your bag with the back of his hand.
“mhm… what did you bring? don’t tell me i have to wait until we get there.”
before you could answer, seonghyeon groaned dramatically.
“bro, you almost finished my chips on the way here. relax.”
martin looked personally offended.
he raised one finger like he was about to deliver the most important speech of the day.
“y/n, let’s not forget that i was the first person to notice something was going on between you and keonho.”
he proudly pointed at himself.
“and i was basically the one encouraging this guy to make a move.”
keonho sighed, giving martin a light shove with his shoulder.
“bro… will you let that go already?”
you couldn’t help laughing at the familiar interaction.
“martin,” you smiled, patting your bag once. “i’m sure you’ll survive another twenty minutes.”
the walk continued with easy conversations, interrupted every now and then by martin trying to convince everyone that he deserved credit for your relationship.
by the time all of you had settled on the picnic blankets, he somehow managed to bring it up again.
“nah, man, i knew something was up the second i heard her ask if keonho was working that day. nobody just asks that out of nowhere,” martin said to juhoon, who kept insisting martin was exaggerating his so-called detective skills.
keonho, smiling at you a second ago, suddenly stopped and turned to martin. “are you basically saying nobody would ever ask for me?”
seonghyeon laughed. “obviously yes, we’re just hoping you take a day off from work”
“wow,” keonho muttered, shaking his head. “thanks. really good for my confidence.”
“look on the bright side,” james chuckled, bending down to pick up the ball. “at least now we know there’s one person asking for you.”
to his words, keonho turned his warm gaze toward you and whispered, “seems like one was all i needed.”
their bickering eventually shifted, the guys grabbed the ball and wandered farther onto the grass. keonho, however, stayed exactly where he was. instead, he stretched out beside you before resting his head comfortably on your lap.
he reached into the container, stealing another cookie. “mm…” he hummed after taking a bite. “these are really good. i’m glad you like baking.”
“yeah, I guess one of us had to be,” you said, running your fingers idly through his hair.
after swallowing the last bite, he spoke as casually as if he were commenting on the weather. “that means we’ll manage just fine when we get married.”
you gave him a sudden push. “alright, Keonho, go play for a bit. i think the sun’s getting to your head”.
a small apartment on the wrong side of the city. one moment of raw intimacy leads to an attempt to bridge the gap, where pride gets in the way, turning a quiet night into a harsh reality check neither of you saw coming.
6.1K
warnings: emotional distance, miscommunication, unlabelled relationship, friends to benefits?, angst, harsh words, hurtful dialogue, pride & boundaries, class differences, reader's poor attempt at comforting explicit sexual content/smut: oral sex (f & m receiving), over stimulation, hickeys/marking, unprotected p in v, cowgirl/riding position, creampie, slow to rough sex, biting, hair pulling, subtle praise, mild degradation, passionate sex, neck grabbing, teasing, size difference/size handling, missionary sex, brief power play, vulnerability conflict, accusations.
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𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝
there was no musty or aging odor here, only the faint, familiar scent of his fragrance that you’d grown used to smelling on him, especially when you hugged him.
you never thought you’d set foot on this side of the city, a little apart from the center, but still within it, tucked among charming buildings, though not inside one of those.
he lived in one of those low-slung, house like structures that people usually chose out of sheer affordability.
you had braced yourself for a dingy, eerie atmosphere, but it was less like that than you’d imagined.
his place even had a tiny courtyard leading to the front door. the interior was another surprise entirely. james never gave the impression of being untidy, his modest appearance was always put together. but knowing him, his life for a while now, you had expected a cluttered space, especially in a neighborhood like this.
stepping inside, you were greeted by a plain room with creamy white walls, a small plastic window sat across from the entrance. to your right, an open door offered a glimpse into what you guessed was his bedroom. beside it stood an aged brown couch facing a television, a detail that caught you off guard. in front of the couch sat a compact coffee table with peeling paint, its surface holding a neat stack of books.
an old wooden shelf lined with various odds and ends drew your attention, taking up the last remaining space in the room. there was hardly any room left to decorate anyway. turning to your left, you noticed a nook-like kitchen area. it was slightly disheveled; james had clearly been in a rush when he left that morning.
you always tried not to let your face show anything, no matter his lifestyle, no matter what surrounded him. calling it a lifestyle even felt wrong, considering he’d been more or less forced into it by fate’s cruel games.
so, as you stepped in and swept your gaze over the room, you said nothing and sat down cautiously on the couch, which gave a soft groan under your weight. james followed you in from the door, carrying the bags of food you had picked up together, and set them down on the small table.
“well, make yourself at home. i’ll be right back,” he said softly, a gentle contrast to his usual sharp, decisive tone.
you nodded, your eyes tracking him as he vanished behind his bedroom door. when he reappeared, he had changed out of his clothes and stepped back outside, mentioning he needed to fetch something from the yard.
a few quiet minutes passed as you took in the little space around you, your hands resting neatly on your knees over your skirt. any outsider looking at you, with your glossy hair falling over your shoulders, manicured appearance, and tailored clothes, would instantly know you didn't belong in a place like this. without your sneakers left at the door, the chill of the floor seeped through your socks.
restless, you stood up. not quite meaning to do anything in particular, and drifted toward the window, only to find the view blocked by the adjacent building. turning back, your gaze caught a small pile of laundry resting on the floor beside a low shelf. you strolled over and crouched down, enveloped by the fresh, clean scent drifting off the fabric. they were just his clean clothes, likely waiting to be folded and stored away.
you picked up a shirt, casually folding it, and mindlessly lifted it to your nose, breathing in his scent until it made you feel pleasantly lightheaded. folding and cleaning were things you never bothered with at home, and the sudden impulse surprised even you. before you knew it, you had neatly folded most of the pile.
as you reached for another shirt, james’s voice sounded from the doorway above you.
“you really didn’t have to do that,” he said, a mix of surprise and mild concern lacing his voice.
“it’s no trouble at all. i take it you were in a rush this morning?” you asked, trying to ease the delicate tension hanging in the air during your first visit to his home.
“yeah, i overslept...” he admitted, stepping into the kitchen before popping his head back out. “i left them there so i could deal with them when i got back.”
setting the last folded garment onto the stack, you stood up. “well, it’s already done, so no worries,” you replied with a playful, self-satisfied smile, as if you had just cleaned the entire house for him.
returning to the couch, you sat down and met his gaze.
was that a flicker of soft adoration hiding in his clouded eyes?
you couldn't be entirely sure, so you pushed the thought aside, watching as he dried his hands on a white towel.
he simply stood there, observing you with the trace of a smile playing on his lips.
“i guess i’m going to be hearing that line a lot more from now on,” he murmured with a soft chuckle, tossing the towel back onto the kitchen counter.
you kept your teasing smile, tilting your head and giving a casual shrug. “well, your guest comes over and takes care of your chores for you, what's not to like? you should be grateful.”
he looked back at you, his expression suddenly hard to describe. he began walking toward you, only to freeze mid-step as something crossed his mind.
“oh, i almost forgot to give these back,” he said, gesturing with a nod toward two boxes sitting near the side of the couch. “i told him i’d return them after work.”
he leaned down and hoisted the boxes effortlessly, the strain bringing out the defined veins along his arms. tearing your gaze away from his mouth-watering physique with a bit of effort, you looked up to meet his eyes.
“where are you going?” you asked softly. “will it take long?”
“no, they belong to my neighbor,” he replied gently. “he lives right nearby. i’ll be back in just a couple of minutes.”
he disappeared again as your smile slowly faded, and you glanced around once more. you took the food and drinks out of their plastic bag and laid them out on the table. you turned on the tv, since the two of you had agreed to watch something. as you scrolled through, looking for something interesting, your eyes caught a small figure sitting on the shelf.
you set the remote down and stood up, drawn to look closer at the things on it. that same funny little figure, you remembered giving it to him. alongside it were various items that reflected his hobbies, which you were already familiar with. you picked up a small book, one from a french poet, and wondered if he actually read it, though you wouldn’t have been surprised if he did. beneath the book lay a small notebook with a slip of paper tucked between its pages.
curiosity got the better of you, so you gently pulled it out and found a photograph of a woman. the colors had already faded, making it obvious that the picture was quite old. she was smiling, with a subtle dimple near her slender mouth. your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you could never mistake that smile. she smiled just like james. you stepped closer to the light to see her face more clearly. just as you were about to turn the photo over to check for any written notes, you felt a sudden presence.
you turned your head and flinched, finding james’s eyes already fixed on the photo.
seeing you turn to him, he met your gaze. for a moment you braced for anger, for him to snatch it from your hand and scold you for prying into his personal belongings. but his expression remained entirely blank and unreadable.
you swallowed softly and held the photo out toward him.
“i saw it while looking through your books. sorry, i didn’t mean to,”
you said, embarrassment and irritation tangling together inside you as your own words came out sounding stupid to your ears.
“she’s my mother. my family, you asked about,” he said quietly, that same clouded gaze resting on your bright eyes.
you searched instinctively for any trace of tension in them, remembering how many times you’d asked about his background before, only for him to brush it off or give indifferent answers, until you eventually stopped bringing it up altogether.
"she is beautiful," you smiled, at a loss for words at first.
he slowly took the photo from your hand, his thumb gently brushing across the surface as he gazed at it.
"she is," he agreed softly.
you did not press him with many questions about his mother, though he mentioned that this was one of the few photographs he had left of her.
you could sense a deep longing in him, a feeling you had never witnessed before. this vulnerable moment was a first for you. as you stood beside him, watching a strand of hair fall over his forehead while his eyes remained fixed on the picture, you realized how little the two of you actually knew about each other’s feelings in general.
that had never really been the point of your time together anyway. your meetings had always been emotionally detached encounters, driven by little more than pure desire.
a few moments passed, and soon you found yourself back on the couch, eating and watching the movie you had picked out. you sat close, gently wrapping your arm around him as a subtle gesture of comfort after seeing the photograph. yet, you still felt like you failed to grasp whatever was passing through his mind.
you were simply unfamiliar with feelings like these.
born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you had never known genuine heartache, only the fleeting disappointment of not getting what you wanted when your father refused a request.
james had his left arm draped over the back of the couch behind your head, his gaze locked onto the screen. your arm rested casually across his chest, and your legs lay over his open ones. his free hand rested on your exposed thigh where your skirt had ridden up. his warm fingers brought heat to your cold skin while your cheek pressed against the rhythm of his heartbeat.
your attention had long drifted away from the movie. it was a genre you did not particularly care for, though it held james completely captive. his intense, glossy eyes followed every movement on the screen, making you secretly wish he would give that exact same unwavering attention to you, every second of every day.
the sun had already set, and the faint light coming through the window turned dim and dark, even though it was not late. you silently studied his facial features without breaking his focus, wanting to admire him and indulge in your own quiet mischief without him noticing. you shifted your head slightly upward, adjusting your posture without a sound, until your face was resting right beside the exposed skin of his neck.
you slowly brought your head closer to his neck, your nose barely touching his skin. you rested your head on his shoulder, your lips drifting closer to the soft patch of skin just beneath his ear.
neither of you had mentioned anything about physical intimacy when you decided to come over, though that had never been something you needed to speak aloud. still, you felt a sudden rush of warmth spread through your body, especially as his slender fingers, subtle green veins on his hands, brushed idly against your leg. he always did that whenever the two of you watched something together.
you pressed your face softly into his neck, making it look as though you were simply getting sleepy, and inhaled his scent. he did not pull away or stop what he was doing, continuing to stroke his thumb against your thigh while keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.
soft lips brushed against his skin, not quite kissing him yet. your left hand moved along his shoulder, bringing your index finger up to touch the exact spot your lips had just grazed. then you leaned back in, planting a soft peck against his skin, and then another. you let the tip of your tongue briefly touch his warm skin before sealing it with your lips, pulling a tiny section between them to suck gently, feeling a quiet sense of satisfaction at the faint flush of red beginning to form.
james did not seem to mind at all, allowing his fingers to continue their faint, rhythmic caress.
you pressed against his skin again, firmer this time, as you sucked harder, bringing your teeth and tongue into the fold. you felt his grip instantly tighten on your thigh. his left arm wrapped around your back while his hand cupped your chin, gently tilting your head back and turning your face toward him.
"hm, i thought i asked you not to leave any marks there. i cannot cover those up," he half whispered, his eyes searching yours intently.
"you did not listen to me when i told you the exact same thing last time, though," you replied, arching an eyebrow as you waited for his response.
a tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips. his fingers gently stroked your chin while his other hand remained rested against your thigh.
"because your neck looks much better with them. besides, those sheer scarves you match with your outfits suit you well," he answered softly, holding your gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the television.
"mmm? i never knew you liked those. but i only wear them because you refuse to listen to me," you said, your voice dripping with playful, exaggerated irritation.
he simply smiled at that, showing no remorse whatsoever. fueled by his smug expression, you suddenly leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, then took his lips entirely with yours. it was meant to be nothing more than a brief kiss, but his hand slid up from your leg to cup your face while his other arm wrapped firmly around your waist. he kissed you back deeply, his tongue already pressing against the swell of your lower lip, asking for entry. before you could process it, he deepened the kiss completely. your hands tangled into his hair, one of them caressing the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the strands.
his hand moved from your cheek to shift your weight, lifting you up to sit directly in his lap, facing him completely. the glowing television screen was now behind, casting faint light into the dimly lit room.
the two of you broke the kiss to catch your breath. his hands gently caressed your back before settling onto your hips, while his other hand guided your head down to rest against his chest, his eyes drifting back to the moving figures on the screen.
you let out a soft breath, staying still like that for a moment before raising your head slightly. his sharp jawline rested right beside your face. you raised your hand to his neck, slowly tracing down his silver necklace to the collar of his shirt. two of your fingers lightly felt the firm muscle beneath the fabric as they made their way downward, slowly approaching the waistband of his pants.
only then did you notice the faint bulge forming in his pants, sparking a new idea in your mind.
you slowly slid backward, dropping down to the floor between his parted legs. his head turned down toward you, eyebrows raised in silent question. before any words could leave his mouth, your hands wasted no time pulling his pants and boxers down together, releasing his aching length.
your mouth watered instantly at the sight of his firm, veiny shaft and flushed tip. you let your finger trace him from base to top, pausing at the delicate skin near the head.
you felt his breathing grow slightly uneven. keeping eye contact, you closed the distance between his tip and your lips. his attention was no longer on the screen as he looked down at you, that cocky expression returning to his face.
"missed it that much?" he asked softly.
just as he spoke, you extended your tongue and gave the tip a slow lick, pausing to gauge his reaction. he fell quiet and watched you intently, his length twitching in response.
you took the head of his shaft into your mouth, keeping your lips still while your tongue teased him inside, moving in slow circles around the tip. his hand found your hair, gently applying pressure to guide you deeper.
you complied, taking in as much as you could, though his size made it impossible to take him all the way. he began to caress the hair near your forehead without making a sound, simply watching how eagerly you took him. you did not tease him any longer and began a steady rhythm, your eyes occasionally locking onto his half-closed gaze. he let out a low sigh of relief and sank deeper into the couch as you bobbed up and down, feeling him pulse against your tongue.
a soft, pleasant melody began to play from the movie, contrasting with the quiet intensity between the two of you. his head fell back against the couch, his breathing deep and steady, his chest rising and falling in time with your pace.
all of a sudden, he gently halted the movement of your head and guided his dick out of your mouth, leaving a thin strand of saliva connecting his shaft to your swollen, flushed lips.
leaning down, he gripped your arms firmly and lifted you up into his embrace, hooking his other arm beneath your thighs to support your weight. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, locking your legs around his waist. you felt him lean forward slightly, keeping one arm securely around you while using his free hand to pick up the remote and turn off the television.
you expected him to lay you down on the couch, but instead he carried you into the bedroom, your back settling onto the mattress. the room was lit only by the faint glow spilling from the main room and the soft streetlight filtering through the window, leaving everything in shadow except for james's silhouette. not that anything else mattered to you in that moment.
he took off his shirt by pulling it up over his chest, giving you a clear view of his muscular frame as he moved. his skin caught the dim light, and you watched him with a gaze heavy with desire. he stepped up to the edge of the bed near your feet, while you lay back with your hands resting behind your head.
he looked down at you, his mouth parted slightly, as he pulled the shirt free from his arms and let it drop onto the floor behind him.
he leaned down slowly, resting one arm on the mattress to support his weight while his other hand gripped your ankles, pulling you toward him in one fluid motion.
a quiet gasp escaped your lips at the sudden shift. his fingers slowly traced a path up your legs, reaching the zipper of your skirt. he unzipped and removed it deftly, his eyes meeting yours as a soft sound of approval left your throat. left in your white cotton underwear, you instinctively pressed your thighs closer together. he folded your skirt neatly and set it on a chair nearby before returning to undo the top three buttons of your blouse, exposing the curve of your chest above your bra.
he unbuttoned it carefully, laid it beside your skirt, and then leaned in close to your face. positioned right over you, he watched the flutter of your eyelashes before capturing your lips with his own.
he kissed you softly at first, but soon pressed deeper, taking control of the rhythm. you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers catching the chain of his necklace as you gently pulled him closer.
without breaking the contact of his lips, he trailed a path of wet kisses down along your jaw, moving lower until he found the sensitive spot on your neck. he kissed, licked, and gently sucked the soft skin there before drifting down toward your chest, covering it in slow, deliberate kisses.
unclasping your bra, he hooked a finger under the waistband of your underwear, pushing it down your legs and raising them to slide it off completely.
he left your underwear on the chair with the other clothes and wasted no time. he parted your legs, leaving your center fully exposed and glistening with arousal. before he dived in, you brought his head up to your lips, kissing him one more time.
"i want you now, james, please."
he trailed kisses back down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it, making you lose your mind and arch your back off the mattress.
"mhmm, but i want to taste you first, baby."
there it was. the pet name slipped past his lips, hitting the exact right note to make your core ache even more. you tried to press your thighs back together, but james held them firm, opening them even wider.
he moved down at last, planting a line of kisses down from your chest to your stomach. he did not tease you the way you had done to him earlier; setting aside his usual slow pace, he dived right in, pulling a soft moan from your throat.
his tongue flicked over your clit, licking your folds hungrily before pushing deep into your slick entrance. your body tightened around nothing, desperate for his full length.
watching your overwhelmed state, his tongue took one long, sweeping stroke up your wet center, making your eyes roll back. one finger circled slowly around your opening without going inside, driving you mad with anticipation.
his tongue found your clit once more, pressing firmly against the sensitive nerve, making you let out high-pitched whimpers. he pressed a few quick kisses against your mount before dropping back down to your opening, slipping his tongue in and out to push your frustration to the limit.
your voice filled the dim room, calling his name over and over as he drank you in like a starving man.
you pushed his head closer, your legs tightening around him. sensing that you were right on the edge, he suddenly stopped. he easily forced your legs back down and sat up to look at you, his mouth and nose wet with your slickness, which he wiped away with the back of his hand.
you let out a desperate whine, needing the building heat to finally break. but he only gave you a lopsided smirk, his hands already pulling his briefs down to free his fully erect length.
breathing heavily, you watched him stroke his shaft, his thumb lightly running over the swollen tip.
"what was it that you wanted?" he asked, his own breath still coming fast.
you stared at him in utter disbelief. "i already told you what i wanted," you said, a slight smirk returning to your face as your eyebrows arched.
his expression remained unreadable, his eyes dropping down to watch his hand around his shaft before snapping right back to yours. "i did not really hear anything," he said, squinting slightly as if the room were somehow deafeningly loud. "just some whiny noises. i could not make it out." he smirked again.
you pushed yourself up, supporting your weight on your hands behind you. "i want you to," you glanced down briefly at his dick, "fuck me, james. so well that i forget everything else except the pleasure you give me."
you whispered the words seductively, making him smile, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
expecting him to lean over you, you were surprised when he shifted across the bed and lay flat on his back, gesturing for you to come closer. you obeyed and moved over him. he immediately grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him, dragging your wet center along his hard shaft, drawing a sharp intake of breath from both of you.
you sat up over him, sliding your body against his, leaning down just enough to let him take your nipple into his mouth once more. you began to grind against him, soft moans escaping your lips, your back arched and your head tilted toward the ceiling.
then you felt his fingers slip between your bodies, guiding his tip to your entrance and pushing himself all the way inside.
a soft moan escaped your lips as he filled you completely, his length leaving no room for your walls to breathe.
you began to move slowly, setting your own pace, pulling yourself up until only his tip remained inside before sinking back down all the way to the base.
looking down, you caught his dark, sparkling eyes fixed on your flushed face while he drew your nipple into his mouth. his hands gripped your hips firmly, holding and caressing you with enough pressure that you knew the marks of his fingers would likely stay on your skin later.
the intensity in his eyes sparked a new sensation within you. it was hard to tell what was running through his mind in that moment, aside from the sound of his heavy breathing and quiet, ragged gasps.
releasing your chest from his lips, his hand moved from your hip up to your back, just above your waist, pulling your upper body flush against his chest.
face to face with him, you instinctively reached for his lips. the two of you fell into a deep, desperate kiss. his teeth nipped at your lips while his fingers tangled into your hair, tugging with a rough edge as he snapped his hips upward in a sharp, hard thrust deep into your slick core.
you broke the kiss with a loud moan, your lips stinging from the force of his mouth.
you glanced down at him a moment later. even though you enjoyed his usual roughness, your mind felt slightly hazy from his sudden loss of restraint.
his gaze drifted down to where your bodies met before snapping back to yours, sensing your eyes on him.
the two of you held each other's stare, an intense, quiet tension rising between you that felt entirely distinct from the physical friction of your bodies.
with your arms beginning to ache from supporting your weight, you found yourself waiting for him to break the silence, sensing that he wanted to say or ask something but chose to hold it back.
instead, he deftly flipped you onto your side before rolling over to take the lead. he lifted your legs up over his shoulders and began pounding into you with hard, relentless thrusts.
your voice immediately echoed through the room, mingling with the slick, obscene sounds of your heated, tangled bodies.
his thrusts grew heavier and less rhythmic as he finally released your legs, head tilted back, his mouth parted as he fought for air. then his gaze dropped back to you, thumb suddenly found your clit, applying a steady, circular pressure that pulled a sharp whine from your chest.
you reached up for him, wrapping your arms into the air in an open invitation. he watched your desperate state for a heartbeat before sinking his weight back down, his lips instantly finding yours. james kissed you again and again, slowing his pace just enough to draw out the pleasure.
"i want to feel you come with me, james, please," you pleaded against his mouth, your voice thick with heat as you teetered right on the edge.
he hovered close over your face, his arms planted on either side of your head to frame you. with every deep thrust, the silver chain around his neck swung back and forth, lightly grazing your skin.
feeling the intense pressure building deep in your core, a string of broken sighs and desperate praises spilled from your lips. your hands gripped his back, your nails digging into the smooth muscle of his skin to anchor yourself.
low, gravelly moans began to slip from james’s throat as his own climax threatened to break. he locked his dark eyes onto yours, adjusting his pace to match your frantic rhythm, holding back his own release until he felt your body tighten around him.
the moment your walls pulsed in a hard, overwhelming wave, he drove into you one last time and let go, spilling himself deep inside you. your cries merged with his low, ragged groans, echoing together through the quiet room.
you did not fall asleep right away, though the heavy weight of it settled over your eyelids like a soft veil. you yawned silently, wondering what time it could be. feeling the cool breeze filtering through the window, your eyes drifted toward the faint lights outside, your thoughts already scattering to different corners of your life.
without fully realizing it, your gaze shifted to james lying beside you. one arm was tucked behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, his mind seemingly miles away.
you had just experienced some of the best sex of your life, yet you still could not call him a boyfriend. you could not even call him a friend at this point. after all the moments you had shared like this, you still could not grasp what he truly was to you.
it happened sometimes. in the quiet aftermath, your mind would turn gloomy, asking silent questions about your relationship and life, only to find no real answers.
whenever this mood set in, you stopped searching for clarity and instead comforted yourself with what you had, knowing you had far fewer things to worry about than most people.
or perhaps it was simply because james carried his own heavy burdens in life.
whenever you remembered what he went through, your own troubles felt like insignificant, unwanted pebbles along a smooth path. his quiet fight to keep going even inspired you to do the same at times.
feeling the ache in your muscles, you found it hard to get up, but you forced yourself to move and search for your clothes. after slipping into your bra and underwear, you stepped into the other room to retrieve your phone, squinting slightly against the dark to check the time. noticing the bathroom door inside his bedroom, you slipped inside to take care of yourself before coming back out to pick up your skirt.
"you are not staying?"
james's soft voice pulled you sharply out of your thoughts. your own surprised expression mirrored the look on his face.
"you seem to want me around a lot today, huh?" you let out a shaky smile, trying to keep the mood light.
his unreadable expression did not shift as he watched you step into your skirt and pull your blouse over your head.
"it is getting late, and i thought you would be tired," he said, gesturing toward you with his hand as his eyes met yours.
"i am..." you admitted, smoothing down your hair while making a mental note to take a long shower the moment you got home. "...but i have things to do tomorrow. i have to wake up early."
finding a mirror across the room, you flipped a small switch to turn on the light, wincing slightly as the brightness hit your eyes. you stepped in front of the glass and turned around, offering yourself a tight smile as you confirmed everything was back in order.
his eyes never left your reflection. he stood up slowly from the bed, his dark gaze tracking your every move in the mirror.
you left the bedroom to find your handbag, rummaging through it for your favorite candy and popping one into your mouth. behind, you heard james moving as he dressed, his footsteps fading into the small kitchen.
you wandered back into his room to make sure you had not left anything behind, when a sudden, heavy impulse washed over you.
you wondered if he needed money this time around, even though he would never admit it to you. when you arrived earlier, he had bought all the food himself. it had made you uncomfortable; you could not help wanting to provide everything yourself. under normal circumstances, you would never worry about a man spending money on you, but every time james did, an unnamed ache in your chest grew stronger.
you could so easily cover it all, if only he would let you.
opening your bag again, you pulled out your purse. scrolling through the different cards shining under your fingers, you caught sight of a few crisp bills tucked inside. you pulled them out, noting that the amount was more than eight times the cost of the food he had bought.
hesitating for a fraction of a second, terrified of how he might react, you quickly set the cash down on his nightstand and tiptoed out of the room.
you stood near the front door just as james stepped out of the kitchen, taking you in. moving closer to the exit, you let out a hurried "bye," trying to leave before he could stop you. behind you, he was already heading toward his room to grab his jacket, calling out, "wait, how are you getting back? cab?"
you stepped outside, closing the door behind you, and bent down to pull your sneakers on properly.
the air had a crisp, cool bite to it, the leaves on a nearby tree swaying softly in the breeze. you took a few steps into the yard, but the heavy main door suddenly creaked open behind you.
"wait."
you froze.
turning around slowly, you saw him walking toward you, stopping just short of your space. his hand held the paper money you had left behind.
james’s eyes were narrowed, as if he did not for a second believe you had simply forgotten the cash by his bed. his face was tight with quiet fury.
"uh, what happened?" you asked softly, trying to play it off.
he scoffed in disbelief, his head turning to the side before his dark brown eyes snapped back to yours, deeper and colder than before.
"this happened," he said, tilting the bills in his hand as he took another step closer. "what is this supposed to mean?"
the tension in the air made you deeply uneasy. "it was for the food... and, well, yeah."
you hated the way you stuttered, feeling entirely unlike yourself. but you knew how much he despised any talk of money, especially between the two of you. he had always politely shut it down whenever you tried to bring it up.
"did i ask you to pay for anything?" he asked, his tone hardening, making your eyebrows rise in shock.
"or are you paying me for sex?"
at his harsh words, your tired eyes snapped wide open. the accusation felt like a physical blow.
"what? obviously not!"
"obviously?" he repeated bitterly.
you stared at the money gripped tightly in his hand, his tall frame towering over you in the dim courtyard light.
"look, do not take this as pity or anything," you tried to explain, your voice desperate to fix the shift between you. "i just know how quickly things can get hard—"
"you know nothing," he cut you off sharply. "you know nothing about me, and i do not want you getting involved in my life like this."
he grabbed your hand and forcefully shoved the money back into your palm.
you stood there completely stunned, your mouth opening and closing as scorching heat rushed to your face. embarrassment, hurt, and sudden anger twisted together inside your chest.
"right," you spat out, your voice laced with venom. "maybe this is exactly what you deserve."
without waiting for a response, you spun around and marched out of his courtyard. your steps were sharp and fast, your lips pressed into a hard line, a dark frown covering your face.
behind you, there was no sound, no footsteps following after you.
only the cold glow of the streetlights guiding your frantic pace into the night.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
a/n: had this idea for a while ;) especially with james. the plot kind of grew more than I planned. any comments & ideas are appreciated as they motivate me to share more of these stories that come to my mind.
This pretty boy could just stand there mindlessly, doing nothing in particular, stare into the camera with those almost innocent looking orbs, and still look like a top-paid model.
a small apartment on the wrong side of the city. one moment of raw intimacy leads to an attempt to bridge the gap, where pride gets in the way, turning a quiet night into a harsh reality check neither of you saw coming.
6.1K
warnings: emotional distance, miscommunication, unlabelled relationship, friends to benefits?, angst, harsh words, hurtful dialogue, pride & boundaries, class differences, reader's poor attempt at comforting explicit sexual content/smut: oral sex (f & m receiving), over stimulation, hickeys/marking, unprotected p in v, cowgirl/riding position, creampie, slow to rough sex, biting, hair pulling, subtle praise, mild degradation, passionate sex, neck grabbing, teasing, size difference/size handling, missionary sex, brief power play, vulnerability conflict, accusations.
no proofread yet!
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝
there was no musty or aging odor here, only the faint, familiar scent of his fragrance that you’d grown used to smelling on him, especially when you hugged him.
you never thought you’d set foot on this side of the city, a little apart from the center, but still within it, tucked among charming buildings, though not inside one of those.
he lived in one of those low-slung, house like structures that people usually chose out of sheer affordability.
you had braced yourself for a dingy, eerie atmosphere, but it was less like that than you’d imagined.
his place even had a tiny courtyard leading to the front door. the interior was another surprise entirely. james never gave the impression of being untidy, his modest appearance was always put together. but knowing him, his life for a while now, you had expected a cluttered space, especially in a neighborhood like this.
stepping inside, you were greeted by a plain room with creamy white walls, a small plastic window sat across from the entrance. to your right, an open door offered a glimpse into what you guessed was his bedroom. beside it stood an aged brown couch facing a television, a detail that caught you off guard. in front of the couch sat a compact coffee table with peeling paint, its surface holding a neat stack of books.
an old wooden shelf lined with various odds and ends drew your attention, taking up the last remaining space in the room. there was hardly any room left to decorate anyway. turning to your left, you noticed a nook-like kitchen area. it was slightly disheveled; james had clearly been in a rush when he left that morning.
you always tried not to let your face show anything, no matter his lifestyle, no matter what surrounded him. calling it a lifestyle even felt wrong, considering he’d been more or less forced into it by fate’s cruel games.
so, as you stepped in and swept your gaze over the room, you said nothing and sat down cautiously on the couch, which gave a soft groan under your weight. james followed you in from the door, carrying the bags of food you had picked up together, and set them down on the small table.
“well, make yourself at home. i’ll be right back,” he said softly, a gentle contrast to his usual sharp, decisive tone.
you nodded, your eyes tracking him as he vanished behind his bedroom door. when he reappeared, he had changed out of his clothes and stepped back outside, mentioning he needed to fetch something from the yard.
a few quiet minutes passed as you took in the little space around you, your hands resting neatly on your knees over your skirt. any outsider looking at you, with your glossy hair falling over your shoulders, manicured appearance, and tailored clothes, would instantly know you didn't belong in a place like this. without your sneakers left at the door, the chill of the floor seeped through your socks.
restless, you stood up. not quite meaning to do anything in particular, and drifted toward the window, only to find the view blocked by the adjacent building. turning back, your gaze caught a small pile of laundry resting on the floor beside a low shelf. you strolled over and crouched down, enveloped by the fresh, clean scent drifting off the fabric. they were just his clean clothes, likely waiting to be folded and stored away.
you picked up a shirt, casually folding it, and mindlessly lifted it to your nose, breathing in his scent until it made you feel pleasantly lightheaded. folding and cleaning were things you never bothered with at home, and the sudden impulse surprised even you. before you knew it, you had neatly folded most of the pile.
as you reached for another shirt, james’s voice sounded from the doorway above you.
“you really didn’t have to do that,” he said, a mix of surprise and mild concern lacing his voice.
“it’s no trouble at all. i take it you were in a rush this morning?” you asked, trying to ease the delicate tension hanging in the air during your first visit to his home.
“yeah, i overslept...” he admitted, stepping into the kitchen before popping his head back out. “i left them there so i could deal with them when i got back.”
setting the last folded garment onto the stack, you stood up. “well, it’s already done, so no worries,” you replied with a playful, self-satisfied smile, as if you had just cleaned the entire house for him.
returning to the couch, you sat down and met his gaze.
was that a flicker of soft adoration hiding in his clouded eyes?
you couldn't be entirely sure, so you pushed the thought aside, watching as he dried his hands on a white towel.
he simply stood there, observing you with the trace of a smile playing on his lips.
“i guess i’m going to be hearing that line a lot more from now on,” he murmured with a soft chuckle, tossing the towel back onto the kitchen counter.
you kept your teasing smile, tilting your head and giving a casual shrug. “well, your guest comes over and takes care of your chores for you, what's not to like? you should be grateful.”
he looked back at you, his expression suddenly hard to describe. he began walking toward you, only to freeze mid-step as something crossed his mind.
“oh, i almost forgot to give these back,” he said, gesturing with a nod toward two boxes sitting near the side of the couch. “i told him i’d return them after work.”
he leaned down and hoisted the boxes effortlessly, the strain bringing out the defined veins along his arms. tearing your gaze away from his mouth-watering physique with a bit of effort, you looked up to meet his eyes.
“where are you going?” you asked softly. “will it take long?”
“no, they belong to my neighbor,” he replied gently. “he lives right nearby. i’ll be back in just a couple of minutes.”
he disappeared again as your smile slowly faded, and you glanced around once more. you took the food and drinks out of their plastic bag and laid them out on the table. you turned on the tv, since the two of you had agreed to watch something. as you scrolled through, looking for something interesting, your eyes caught a small figure sitting on the shelf.
you set the remote down and stood up, drawn to look closer at the things on it. that same funny little figure, you remembered giving it to him. alongside it were various items that reflected his hobbies, which you were already familiar with. you picked up a small book, one from a french poet, and wondered if he actually read it, though you wouldn’t have been surprised if he did. beneath the book lay a small notebook with a slip of paper tucked between its pages.
curiosity got the better of you, so you gently pulled it out and found a photograph of a woman. the colors had already faded, making it obvious that the picture was quite old. she was smiling, with a subtle dimple near her slender mouth. your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you could never mistake that smile. she smiled just like james. you stepped closer to the light to see her face more clearly. just as you were about to turn the photo over to check for any written notes, you felt a sudden presence.
you turned your head and flinched, finding james’s eyes already fixed on the photo.
seeing you turn to him, he met your gaze. for a moment you braced for anger, for him to snatch it from your hand and scold you for prying into his personal belongings. but his expression remained entirely blank and unreadable.
you swallowed softly and held the photo out toward him.
“i saw it while looking through your books. sorry, i didn’t mean to,”
you said, embarrassment and irritation tangling together inside you as your own words came out sounding stupid to your ears.
“she’s my mother. my family, you asked about,” he said quietly, that same clouded gaze resting on your bright eyes.
you searched instinctively for any trace of tension in them, remembering how many times you’d asked about his background before, only for him to brush it off or give indifferent answers, until you eventually stopped bringing it up altogether.
"she is beautiful," you smiled, at a loss for words at first.
he slowly took the photo from your hand, his thumb gently brushing across the surface as he gazed at it.
"she is," he agreed softly.
you did not press him with many questions about his mother, though he mentioned that this was one of the few photographs he had left of her.
you could sense a deep longing in him, a feeling you had never witnessed before. this vulnerable moment was a first for you. as you stood beside him, watching a strand of hair fall over his forehead while his eyes remained fixed on the picture, you realized how little the two of you actually knew about each other’s feelings in general.
that had never really been the point of your time together anyway. your meetings had always been emotionally detached encounters, driven by little more than pure desire.
a few moments passed, and soon you found yourself back on the couch, eating and watching the movie you had picked out. you sat close, gently wrapping your arm around him as a subtle gesture of comfort after seeing the photograph. yet, you still felt like you failed to grasp whatever was passing through his mind.
you were simply unfamiliar with feelings like these.
born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you had never known genuine heartache, only the fleeting disappointment of not getting what you wanted when your father refused a request.
james had his left arm draped over the back of the couch behind your head, his gaze locked onto the screen. your arm rested casually across his chest, and your legs lay over his open ones. his free hand rested on your exposed thigh where your skirt had ridden up. his warm fingers brought heat to your cold skin while your cheek pressed against the rhythm of his heartbeat.
your attention had long drifted away from the movie. it was a genre you did not particularly care for, though it held james completely captive. his intense, glossy eyes followed every movement on the screen, making you secretly wish he would give that exact same unwavering attention to you, every second of every day.
the sun had already set, and the faint light coming through the window turned dim and dark, even though it was not late. you silently studied his facial features without breaking his focus, wanting to admire him and indulge in your own quiet mischief without him noticing. you shifted your head slightly upward, adjusting your posture without a sound, until your face was resting right beside the exposed skin of his neck.
you slowly brought your head closer to his neck, your nose barely touching his skin. you rested your head on his shoulder, your lips drifting closer to the soft patch of skin just beneath his ear.
neither of you had mentioned anything about physical intimacy when you decided to come over, though that had never been something you needed to speak aloud. still, you felt a sudden rush of warmth spread through your body, especially as his slender fingers, subtle green veins on his hands, brushed idly against your leg. he always did that whenever the two of you watched something together.
you pressed your face softly into his neck, making it look as though you were simply getting sleepy, and inhaled his scent. he did not pull away or stop what he was doing, continuing to stroke his thumb against your thigh while keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.
soft lips brushed against his skin, not quite kissing him yet. your left hand moved along his shoulder, bringing your index finger up to touch the exact spot your lips had just grazed. then you leaned back in, planting a soft peck against his skin, and then another. you let the tip of your tongue briefly touch his warm skin before sealing it with your lips, pulling a tiny section between them to suck gently, feeling a quiet sense of satisfaction at the faint flush of red beginning to form.
james did not seem to mind at all, allowing his fingers to continue their faint, rhythmic caress.
you pressed against his skin again, firmer this time, as you sucked harder, bringing your teeth and tongue into the fold. you felt his grip instantly tighten on your thigh. his left arm wrapped around your back while his hand cupped your chin, gently tilting your head back and turning your face toward him.
"hm, i thought i asked you not to leave any marks there. i cannot cover those up," he half whispered, his eyes searching yours intently.
"you did not listen to me when i told you the exact same thing last time, though," you replied, arching an eyebrow as you waited for his response.
a tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips. his fingers gently stroked your chin while his other hand remained rested against your thigh.
"because your neck looks much better with them. besides, those sheer scarves you match with your outfits suit you well," he answered softly, holding your gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the television.
"mmm? i never knew you liked those. but i only wear them because you refuse to listen to me," you said, your voice dripping with playful, exaggerated irritation.
he simply smiled at that, showing no remorse whatsoever. fueled by his smug expression, you suddenly leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, then took his lips entirely with yours. it was meant to be nothing more than a brief kiss, but his hand slid up from your leg to cup your face while his other arm wrapped firmly around your waist. he kissed you back deeply, his tongue already pressing against the swell of your lower lip, asking for entry. before you could process it, he deepened the kiss completely. your hands tangled into his hair, one of them caressing the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the strands.
his hand moved from your cheek to shift your weight, lifting you up to sit directly in his lap, facing him completely. the glowing television screen was now behind, casting faint light into the dimly lit room.
the two of you broke the kiss to catch your breath. his hands gently caressed your back before settling onto your hips, while his other hand guided your head down to rest against his chest, his eyes drifting back to the moving figures on the screen.
you let out a soft breath, staying still like that for a moment before raising your head slightly. his sharp jawline rested right beside your face. you raised your hand to his neck, slowly tracing down his silver necklace to the collar of his shirt. two of your fingers lightly felt the firm muscle beneath the fabric as they made their way downward, slowly approaching the waistband of his pants.
only then did you notice the faint bulge forming in his pants, sparking a new idea in your mind.
you slowly slid backward, dropping down to the floor between his parted legs. his head turned down toward you, eyebrows raised in silent question. before any words could leave his mouth, your hands wasted no time pulling his pants and boxers down together, releasing his aching length.
your mouth watered instantly at the sight of his firm, veiny shaft and flushed tip. you let your finger trace him from base to top, pausing at the delicate skin near the head.
you felt his breathing grow slightly uneven. keeping eye contact, you closed the distance between his tip and your lips. his attention was no longer on the screen as he looked down at you, that cocky expression returning to his face.
"missed it that much?" he asked softly.
just as he spoke, you extended your tongue and gave the tip a slow lick, pausing to gauge his reaction. he fell quiet and watched you intently, his length twitching in response.
you took the head of his shaft into your mouth, keeping your lips still while your tongue teased him inside, moving in slow circles around the tip. his hand found your hair, gently applying pressure to guide you deeper.
you complied, taking in as much as you could, though his size made it impossible to take him all the way. he began to caress the hair near your forehead without making a sound, simply watching how eagerly you took him. you did not tease him any longer and began a steady rhythm, your eyes occasionally locking onto his half-closed gaze. he let out a low sigh of relief and sank deeper into the couch as you bobbed up and down, feeling him pulse against your tongue.
a soft, pleasant melody began to play from the movie, contrasting with the quiet intensity between the two of you. his head fell back against the couch, his breathing deep and steady, his chest rising and falling in time with your pace.
all of a sudden, he gently halted the movement of your head and guided his dick out of your mouth, leaving a thin strand of saliva connecting his shaft to your swollen, flushed lips.
leaning down, he gripped your arms firmly and lifted you up into his embrace, hooking his other arm beneath your thighs to support your weight. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, locking your legs around his waist. you felt him lean forward slightly, keeping one arm securely around you while using his free hand to pick up the remote and turn off the television.
you expected him to lay you down on the couch, but instead he carried you into the bedroom, your back settling onto the mattress. the room was lit only by the faint glow spilling from the main room and the soft streetlight filtering through the window, leaving everything in shadow except for james's silhouette. not that anything else mattered to you in that moment.
he took off his shirt by pulling it up over his chest, giving you a clear view of his muscular frame as he moved. his skin caught the dim light, and you watched him with a gaze heavy with desire. he stepped up to the edge of the bed near your feet, while you lay back with your hands resting behind your head.
he looked down at you, his mouth parted slightly, as he pulled the shirt free from his arms and let it drop onto the floor behind him.
he leaned down slowly, resting one arm on the mattress to support his weight while his other hand gripped your ankles, pulling you toward him in one fluid motion.
a quiet gasp escaped your lips at the sudden shift. his fingers slowly traced a path up your legs, reaching the zipper of your skirt. he unzipped and removed it deftly, his eyes meeting yours as a soft sound of approval left your throat. left in your white cotton underwear, you instinctively pressed your thighs closer together. he folded your skirt neatly and set it on a chair nearby before returning to undo the top three buttons of your blouse, exposing the curve of your chest above your bra.
he unbuttoned it carefully, laid it beside your skirt, and then leaned in close to your face. positioned right over you, he watched the flutter of your eyelashes before capturing your lips with his own.
he kissed you softly at first, but soon pressed deeper, taking control of the rhythm. you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers catching the chain of his necklace as you gently pulled him closer.
without breaking the contact of his lips, he trailed a path of wet kisses down along your jaw, moving lower until he found the sensitive spot on your neck. he kissed, licked, and gently sucked the soft skin there before drifting down toward your chest, covering it in slow, deliberate kisses.
unclasping your bra, he hooked a finger under the waistband of your underwear, pushing it down your legs and raising them to slide it off completely.
he left your underwear on the chair with the other clothes and wasted no time. he parted your legs, leaving your center fully exposed and glistening with arousal. before he dived in, you brought his head up to your lips, kissing him one more time.
"i want you now, james, please."
he trailed kisses back down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it, making you lose your mind and arch your back off the mattress.
"mhmm, but i want to taste you first, baby."
there it was. the pet name slipped past his lips, hitting the exact right note to make your core ache even more. you tried to press your thighs back together, but james held them firm, opening them even wider.
he moved down at last, planting a line of kisses down from your chest to your stomach. he did not tease you the way you had done to him earlier; setting aside his usual slow pace, he dived right in, pulling a soft moan from your throat.
his tongue flicked over your clit, licking your folds hungrily before pushing deep into your slick entrance. your body tightened around nothing, desperate for his full length.
watching your overwhelmed state, his tongue took one long, sweeping stroke up your wet center, making your eyes roll back. one finger circled slowly around your opening without going inside, driving you mad with anticipation.
his tongue found your clit once more, pressing firmly against the sensitive nerve, making you let out high-pitched whimpers. he pressed a few quick kisses against your mount before dropping back down to your opening, slipping his tongue in and out to push your frustration to the limit.
your voice filled the dim room, calling his name over and over as he drank you in like a starving man.
you pushed his head closer, your legs tightening around him. sensing that you were right on the edge, he suddenly stopped. he easily forced your legs back down and sat up to look at you, his mouth and nose wet with your slickness, which he wiped away with the back of his hand.
you let out a desperate whine, needing the building heat to finally break. but he only gave you a lopsided smirk, his hands already pulling his briefs down to free his fully erect length.
breathing heavily, you watched him stroke his shaft, his thumb lightly running over the swollen tip.
"what was it that you wanted?" he asked, his own breath still coming fast.
you stared at him in utter disbelief. "i already told you what i wanted," you said, a slight smirk returning to your face as your eyebrows arched.
his expression remained unreadable, his eyes dropping down to watch his hand around his shaft before snapping right back to yours. "i did not really hear anything," he said, squinting slightly as if the room were somehow deafeningly loud. "just some whiny noises. i could not make it out." he smirked again.
you pushed yourself up, supporting your weight on your hands behind you. "i want you to," you glanced down briefly at his dick, "fuck me, james. so well that i forget everything else except the pleasure you give me."
you whispered the words seductively, making him smile, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
expecting him to lean over you, you were surprised when he shifted across the bed and lay flat on his back, gesturing for you to come closer. you obeyed and moved over him. he immediately grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him, dragging your wet center along his hard shaft, drawing a sharp intake of breath from both of you.
you sat up over him, sliding your body against his, leaning down just enough to let him take your nipple into his mouth once more. you began to grind against him, soft moans escaping your lips, your back arched and your head tilted toward the ceiling.
then you felt his fingers slip between your bodies, guiding his tip to your entrance and pushing himself all the way inside.
a soft moan escaped your lips as he filled you completely, his length leaving no room for your walls to breathe.
you began to move slowly, setting your own pace, pulling yourself up until only his tip remained inside before sinking back down all the way to the base.
looking down, you caught his dark, sparkling eyes fixed on your flushed face while he drew your nipple into his mouth. his hands gripped your hips firmly, holding and caressing you with enough pressure that you knew the marks of his fingers would likely stay on your skin later.
the intensity in his eyes sparked a new sensation within you. it was hard to tell what was running through his mind in that moment, aside from the sound of his heavy breathing and quiet, ragged gasps.
releasing your chest from his lips, his hand moved from your hip up to your back, just above your waist, pulling your upper body flush against his chest.
face to face with him, you instinctively reached for his lips. the two of you fell into a deep, desperate kiss. his teeth nipped at your lips while his fingers tangled into your hair, tugging with a rough edge as he snapped his hips upward in a sharp, hard thrust deep into your slick core.
you broke the kiss with a loud moan, your lips stinging from the force of his mouth.
you glanced down at him a moment later. even though you enjoyed his usual roughness, your mind felt slightly hazy from his sudden loss of restraint.
his gaze drifted down to where your bodies met before snapping back to yours, sensing your eyes on him.
the two of you held each other's stare, an intense, quiet tension rising between you that felt entirely distinct from the physical friction of your bodies.
with your arms beginning to ache from supporting your weight, you found yourself waiting for him to break the silence, sensing that he wanted to say or ask something but chose to hold it back.
instead, he deftly flipped you onto your side before rolling over to take the lead. he lifted your legs up over his shoulders and began pounding into you with hard, relentless thrusts.
your voice immediately echoed through the room, mingling with the slick, obscene sounds of your heated, tangled bodies.
his thrusts grew heavier and less rhythmic as he finally released your legs, head tilted back, his mouth parted as he fought for air. then his gaze dropped back to you, thumb suddenly found your clit, applying a steady, circular pressure that pulled a sharp whine from your chest.
you reached up for him, wrapping your arms into the air in an open invitation. he watched your desperate state for a heartbeat before sinking his weight back down, his lips instantly finding yours. james kissed you again and again, slowing his pace just enough to draw out the pleasure.
"i want to feel you come with me, james, please," you pleaded against his mouth, your voice thick with heat as you teetered right on the edge.
he hovered close over your face, his arms planted on either side of your head to frame you. with every deep thrust, the silver chain around his neck swung back and forth, lightly grazing your skin.
feeling the intense pressure building deep in your core, a string of broken sighs and desperate praises spilled from your lips. your hands gripped his back, your nails digging into the smooth muscle of his skin to anchor yourself.
low, gravelly moans began to slip from james’s throat as his own climax threatened to break. he locked his dark eyes onto yours, adjusting his pace to match your frantic rhythm, holding back his own release until he felt your body tighten around him.
the moment your walls pulsed in a hard, overwhelming wave, he drove into you one last time and let go, spilling himself deep inside you. your cries merged with his low, ragged groans, echoing together through the quiet room.
you did not fall asleep right away, though the heavy weight of it settled over your eyelids like a soft veil. you yawned silently, wondering what time it could be. feeling the cool breeze filtering through the window, your eyes drifted toward the faint lights outside, your thoughts already scattering to different corners of your life.
without fully realizing it, your gaze shifted to james lying beside you. one arm was tucked behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, his mind seemingly miles away.
you had just experienced some of the best sex of your life, yet you still could not call him a boyfriend. you could not even call him a friend at this point. after all the moments you had shared like this, you still could not grasp what he truly was to you.
it happened sometimes. in the quiet aftermath, your mind would turn gloomy, asking silent questions about your relationship and life, only to find no real answers.
whenever this mood set in, you stopped searching for clarity and instead comforted yourself with what you had, knowing you had far fewer things to worry about than most people.
or perhaps it was simply because james carried his own heavy burdens in life.
whenever you remembered what he went through, your own troubles felt like insignificant, unwanted pebbles along a smooth path. his quiet fight to keep going even inspired you to do the same at times.
feeling the ache in your muscles, you found it hard to get up, but you forced yourself to move and search for your clothes. after slipping into your bra and underwear, you stepped into the other room to retrieve your phone, squinting slightly against the dark to check the time. noticing the bathroom door inside his bedroom, you slipped inside to take care of yourself before coming back out to pick up your skirt.
"you are not staying?"
james's soft voice pulled you sharply out of your thoughts. your own surprised expression mirrored the look on his face.
"you seem to want me around a lot today, huh?" you let out a shaky smile, trying to keep the mood light.
his unreadable expression did not shift as he watched you step into your skirt and pull your blouse over your head.
"it is getting late, and i thought you would be tired," he said, gesturing toward you with his hand as his eyes met yours.
"i am..." you admitted, smoothing down your hair while making a mental note to take a long shower the moment you got home. "...but i have things to do tomorrow. i have to wake up early."
finding a mirror across the room, you flipped a small switch to turn on the light, wincing slightly as the brightness hit your eyes. you stepped in front of the glass and turned around, offering yourself a tight smile as you confirmed everything was back in order.
his eyes never left your reflection. he stood up slowly from the bed, his dark gaze tracking your every move in the mirror.
you left the bedroom to find your handbag, rummaging through it for your favorite candy and popping one into your mouth. behind, you heard james moving as he dressed, his footsteps fading into the small kitchen.
you wandered back into his room to make sure you had not left anything behind, when a sudden, heavy impulse washed over you.
you wondered if he needed money this time around, even though he would never admit it to you. when you arrived earlier, he had bought all the food himself. it had made you uncomfortable; you could not help wanting to provide everything yourself. under normal circumstances, you would never worry about a man spending money on you, but every time james did, an unnamed ache in your chest grew stronger.
you could so easily cover it all, if only he would let you.
opening your bag again, you pulled out your purse. scrolling through the different cards shining under your fingers, you caught sight of a few crisp bills tucked inside. you pulled them out, noting that the amount was more than eight times the cost of the food he had bought.
hesitating for a fraction of a second, terrified of how he might react, you quickly set the cash down on his nightstand and tiptoed out of the room.
you stood near the front door just as james stepped out of the kitchen, taking you in. moving closer to the exit, you let out a hurried "bye," trying to leave before he could stop you. behind you, he was already heading toward his room to grab his jacket, calling out, "wait, how are you getting back? cab?"
you stepped outside, closing the door behind you, and bent down to pull your sneakers on properly.
the air had a crisp, cool bite to it, the leaves on a nearby tree swaying softly in the breeze. you took a few steps into the yard, but the heavy main door suddenly creaked open behind you.
"wait."
you froze.
turning around slowly, you saw him walking toward you, stopping just short of your space. his hand held the paper money you had left behind.
james’s eyes were narrowed, as if he did not for a second believe you had simply forgotten the cash by his bed. his face was tight with quiet fury.
"uh, what happened?" you asked softly, trying to play it off.
he scoffed in disbelief, his head turning to the side before his dark brown eyes snapped back to yours, deeper and colder than before.
"this happened," he said, tilting the bills in his hand as he took another step closer. "what is this supposed to mean?"
the tension in the air made you deeply uneasy. "it was for the food... and, well, yeah."
you hated the way you stuttered, feeling entirely unlike yourself. but you knew how much he despised any talk of money, especially between the two of you. he had always politely shut it down whenever you tried to bring it up.
"did i ask you to pay for anything?" he asked, his tone hardening, making your eyebrows rise in shock.
"or are you paying me for sex?"
at his harsh words, your tired eyes snapped wide open. the accusation felt like a physical blow.
"what? obviously not!"
"obviously?" he repeated bitterly.
you stared at the money gripped tightly in his hand, his tall frame towering over you in the dim courtyard light.
"look, do not take this as pity or anything," you tried to explain, your voice desperate to fix the shift between you. "i just know how quickly things can get hard—"
"you know nothing," he cut you off sharply. "you know nothing about me, and i do not want you getting involved in my life like this."
he grabbed your hand and forcefully shoved the money back into your palm.
you stood there completely stunned, your mouth opening and closing as scorching heat rushed to your face. embarrassment, hurt, and sudden anger twisted together inside your chest.
"right," you spat out, your voice laced with venom. "maybe this is exactly what you deserve."
without waiting for a response, you spun around and marched out of his courtyard. your steps were sharp and fast, your lips pressed into a hard line, a dark frown covering your face.
behind you, there was no sound, no footsteps following after you.
only the cold glow of the streetlights guiding your frantic pace into the night.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
a/n: had this idea for a while ;) especially with james. the plot kind of grew more than I planned. any comments & ideas are appreciated as they motivate me to share more of these stories that come to my mind.
I LOVEDDDD wrong side of the city. And i know the plot grew beyond what you expected but i am so locked in on james and y/n. Even though it was mostly smut, it felt like everything was sm deeper??? Some of my thoughts below
- he put the figurine she gifted him on the shelf with the rest of his personal items 😭 he cherishes it and by extension i assume he cherishes her
- i noticed that he puts into her clothes neatly on the chair while letting his own fall to the floor (is he mindful of how expensive her clothes are? Or is it to represent how he'll put more care into things for her vs he doesn't care much for himself?)
- every action is written with so much detail!! It all plays out like a movie. I Loved how intimate everything felt??? Like the sex was hot without needing to be rough, which i find is difficult to write
- Even when it turned rough, it almost felt like it was like james deflecting what he wants to say with his body
- God the misunderstanding 😭 even before the money, her leaving because she was unclear of where she stands with him while he probably thought she left because she's uncomfortable in his place 😭 and then the money 😭 i understand where they're both coming from 😭 but the fact that James is so avoidant and refuses to let y/n get closer/actually understand and know him, even though he obviously cares about her, oh my heart 😭 and y/n is so cautious and is trying so hard, but she just isn't able to innately understand the mindset of someone like james who's lived such a different life from her. She needs it explained. And I imagine she's a little spoiled on some level due to her background, so she's prone to lashing out a little (like at the end) when she's reprimanded.
- I think I'm extrapolating too much here but i also feel like James' actions throughout the story show that he's of a more dominating persona. And that he wants to take care of her /he doesn't want to be someone she feels like she needs to take care of, so the fact that she thinks he can't afford to buy food for them both or that she needs to give him money, is a huge hit to his pride. James does seem to want y/n in his life more longterm based on what he said about "getting used to" her helping him out around the house. But i think the fear of their class differences and his pride not wanting to accept that he financially can't take care of her the way he wants to right nos/the way she's used to, makes him keep his distance and lash out.
- i am so invested in their story. How did they meet? How did this arrangement come about? What HAS james been through in his life? Why does he refuse y/n's help? (I'm assuming she could easily get him a good job or on a better path)? How much does y/n know about him? How do they resolve this misunderstanding? Would you consider writing more for them 😭 i just want them to have a happy ending, it seems like James really deserves it, and y/n seems to care for him sm
OMGG Anon, Hi !!
I ate your ask up literally smiling like an idiot. You have no idea how this got me intrigued about my own fic. The fact that you picked up on every subtle detail I hid in the fic makes me so happy. It’s the absolute best feeling when your quiet thoughts find the exact right place in a reader’s mind!
Yes, it was originally just porn with plot, I can’t help but write every character with a whole world of background context forming in my head 😅
I will get into your points in order, trying not to confuse you with my running head about everything 🫠
1. Haha yes! He does save things mc gives him. It started with that simple silly figurine she mindlessly gave him, and I wanted to show that he actually saves them, along with other gifts she gives him from time to time like a shirt etc (Even though the price tags sometimes make James’s eyes widen!)
2. Coming to James’s character, he really is a deeply caring person at his core, even though he is kind of avoidant in his dialogue towards mc. He takes care of her due to their relationship dynamics, he is just that type of person. Folding her clothes was definitely a nod to how lavish her wardrobe is. He does care about himself, but his life wasn’t easy and he learned how to deal with it. Him tossing his own shirt mindlessly is just for the heat of the moment, showing he doesn't care about anything else when you lie that beautifully in front of him. yet he knows he cares more about you at that moment than himself
3. It is the biggest compliment that touches my heart, anon! 💚💚 I love writing high-tension smut. that whole topic is a conversation of its own
4. I am over the moon that you got that feeling haha Yes exactly, he just tried to use his own body to pour his complicated emotions into her mind. Actually, when I first drafted the smut part, he did say a few things there 🙈 But in a sudden thought I stripped those dialogue lines away to create that unknown atmosphere, perhaps saving what he wanted to say for another part if I ever write more.
5. Here, your point carved my brain like what?! [him thinking she is uncomfortable in his place] I hadn't thought of that angle 🤩 love how open-ended writing leaves room for different interpretations. But the poor girl literally told the truth she just had things to do 😂
Yes, Y/N finds it hard to understand some of the things he does or thinks. Her character was a bit “hard” for me because before this idea, I had a different plot in mind (at his workplace 👀) with a more spoiled,brat Y/N. Here she is way more tamed, to the point that she literally folded his clothes knowing she never usually cares to do such things given her wealthy life. But this is because she adores James so much. And yes exactly, anon! I am again amazed that you got her lashing out almost like a little child reprimanded because she doesn't know how else to process it
6. He IS a dominant person! A provider man, regardless of her being his girlfriend, friend, or anything. This was the very first characteristic of him that I planned out when thinking about the plot. You left nothing for me to explain here and were definitely right about all of it. Actually, their relationship needs a proper post-explanation because James normally couldn't care less about girls and stuff. he has his own ambitions and ideals in life. But Y/N managed to melt her way inside his icy bubble. So he let that out without thinking much, almost to mock her that she isn't the type to do chores and stuff
7. Oh my hearttt 😭😭 You're so cute!
Since I planned it to be a one-shot, I didn’t write out a detailed meeting or backstory (even though I ALWAYS have my characters' backgrounds in my mind!). Basically, James works as a mechanic (car stuff), and Y/N had her car break down and got his help, leading to them eventually entangled in each other's orbit. That was what I thought at first, and I even thought about writing a different fic in this universe.
Oh boy, if James ever accepted her help, she would pour her resources into him because she feels heavily emotionally invested in his life. But they use sex to relieve themselves and basically try not to get involved in each other’s personal lives, as per their agreement.
James’s life... ugh 😮💨 His childhood ended with a warm family life, losing his mother at a young age, and everything since then has just been him running, fighting, and pushing through life’s folds, working everywhere his body allows. His trauma makes him avoidant of anything that comes to him without working for it himself. He gets easily humiliated thinking, "What if she comes and looks down on me to say that she did everything for me?" He just doesn’t want that. Not that he is so poor, but you get the idea. They have so much history that hasn't even been touched on yet.
How could I write a bad ending when you ask like that? I’ve never been a fan of bad endings myself, though growing up I realized some stories don’t need happy ones. If I leave this as a one-shot, it can be seen as a bad ending because they basically aren't meant for each other right now. But my heart can’t leave them broken like this, so I can consider something 🤭
Thank you so much for taking the time to write out all these thoughts, it means the absolute world to me! 💚
synopsis : when martin finally gets you all to himself during a normal studio session, he can't help but initiate what he's been craving for.
masterlist requested 𝜗ৎ martin x 𝓯emale reader established relationship producer!girlfriend downbad!martin skin ship fluff ? tensionyyy kissing ( making out )
the studio is where you found yourself indulged in for hours multiple days a week, whether that was by yourself or specifically your boyfriend. you guys took turns working on a specific set of beats, and even working on multiple together.
whenever it was his solo, he would turn towards you religiously and ask for your opinion on how specific sounds sounded to your ears. every section he worked on, he wanted to make sure if the change he added suited the beat or not — it was all based on your opinions even if it was his own solo project.
but you noticed tonight was different ; he would turn and glance at you every few minutes, watching you as you scanned through your notes beside him. everytime you looked up, you'd glance at the monitor to see if he needed another opinion based answer, but when he continued to stare you couldn't help but let out a giggle.
"what?" you raised an eyebrow at him, internally wanting to shove yourself deeper into the chair as he stared with a slight smile.
nothing. is what he said each time you'd ask that question.
when he wasn't looking, you'd glance up at the monitor and watch how barely anything has been added, the same section he's been wanting to improve still glowing on his screen.
his fingers hovered over the board almost shakingly, his eyes flickering in between each key and the screen, like thoughts were forming into his head — but not thoughts that were intended for the work that laid in front of him.
he let out a deep sigh, shoving his body deeper into his chair as he leaned his head back. the sound instinctively removed your attention from your notes, scanning his attitude, before speaking up.
you moved an ear muff off of your ear, "what?" you asked more confusingly, watching the way he snagged off the his own headphones, and placed them on top of the desk. he ran his fingers through his free hair — a sign that shown pure stress.
"what's wrong?" you asked as you completely took off the entire headset down on top of the desk — matching his actions, as you placed an elbow on the chairs armrest, leaning towards him.
he removed his fingers from his hair, and dramatically rested them down on his lap, as he looked over to you carefully.
he didn't say anything at first, he just simply watched. he scanned your facial features multiple times, before lowering them to your entire body and bringing it back up to your eyes with the familiar smile from earlier when he would constantly look over at you.
you let out a corner smile, narrowing your eyebrows at his new behavior, "why do you keep looking at me like that?" your voiced lowered, almost in shyness but the genuine hope of an answer laced behind those words.
"can we just scrap this and work on it another day." he answered instantly, his eyes flickering in between each feature once again.
your chest heavily heaved as you looked away from him, shaking your head, "just focus." you guided your fingers through the back of your head, picking at it from the heat running through your body.
"but what if i want to focus on you instead?" his hair gripped the armrest of your chair, the warmth of his hands basically touching your elbow. he pushed your chair ever so slightly to fill in the missing closure between both chairs. he spun your chair around a bit, causing your knees to hit the side of his knee, "come on i've been waiting."
"martin." you whined out with a chuckle, removing the hand that was nested in the back of your head from the sudden movement martin had done to your chair.
you stared at your knees practically shoved against the side of his knee, forcefully turning over to look at him, hoping that your face didn't give away the affection of the whole action he had just made.
his hand absentmindedly went towards your knee, smiling softly, "i missed you."
"you saw me yesterday." you responded blankly, placing a hand on top of the hand that settled calmly on your one of your knees. he smacked his tongue, "yesterday was too long ago. and in fact we just stayed in here for hours straight, heating up complete bullshit." he shook his head.
you laughed, resting the side of your head onto the top of the chair. his eyes followed your moves, bringing them down to the smile that he loves, and the cloudy sound that rung against his ears. he couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh too, eyes locked onto your mouth.
the hand that rested on your knee slid up a bit against your thigh, "i don't know why you're laughing."
"because you were so proud of it yesterday. what's the problem now?" you giggled.
"the problem now is that you're sitting here next to me looking beautiful." he rised his back off the chair, sitting up straight now. "wow so i didn't look beautiful yesterday." you jokingly rolled your eyes.
"you look beautiful everyday." he smiled, semi leaning over towards your chair as he removed his hand away from your knee and onto the side of your neck, "can't i just love my girlfriend?" he teasingly smiled at you.
"not when you have stuff to focus on." you pursed your lips, glancing at the monitor behind him and then back onto him. he scoffed, catching on, "the stuff right now is you." his hand slid up from your neck, and onto the underside of your jaw, impulsively leaning in closer.
your hand reached out and placed itself onto his wrist, giggling softly. you felt spikes run up your body, the heat from the back of your neck gushing through every vein. your palms felt sweaty from the closure and from the tension. everything made you impatient, you couldn't help but raise your free hand to the back of his head, pushing him against you, filling in the closure.
he smiled immediately, but it fell off as soon as your lips moved against his, melting at the soft touch. the fingers that were settled onto the back of his head, softly gripped onto the locks underneath them, as you pushed him impossibly closer against your lips. the action alone had him tilting his head, creating a deeper scenario.
your hand fell off his wrist and clinged onto the underside of his own jaw, your thumb guiding through the skin, the same soft pace as the kiss.
he pulled away from the kiss, still closer than ever as the heat of his own still remained against the plush of your lips, "this is extremely uncomfortable." he muttered out quietly, looking in between your gazed eyes and lips.
you smiled as your grip on his hair loosened, "what? kissing me?" you titled your head in his touch, now running your fingers through the small section of hair. "no goofy. me literally having to bend over the plastic parts of the chair just to kiss you." he smiled back softly.
you hummed, not speaking out true words. "i think we both need comfort." his hand lowered to your forearm, as he pulled himself backwards on his chair, you following along.
"martin, you could've just told me to get up." you pouted, as your body began to slide off your chair. he mindfully grabbed the side of your thigh, placing your knee on the open cushion next to his thigh.
"just sit." he laughed, still pulling onto your body. your hands rested onto his shoulders, as you placed yourself comfortably onto his lap, his hands holding onto your waist.
he hummed at the new position, scanning you entirely. "shut up." you whispered, one of your hands sliding up to same spot as earlier — the underside of his jaw.
you pulled yourself in onto his lips, the both of you immediately melting into the feeling. his grip remained onto your waist, but tighter than usual. one of them began to slip up and down, creating rough tension between your top and the skin below it.
you tilted your head, with a raise of your body, deepening it much more than anticipated, yet the kiss remained gentle and soft.
he let out a quiet sound, his hand stopped sliding the fabric against your hip, instead squeezing it tightly as his head leaned back on the headrest.
your lips moved with semi - force, catching the quiet sound. pure love was laced within. his hands screamed i miss you and the way he moved screamed that he's been needing this — and you felt it through every rush and pulse throughout the kiss.
he pulled away with a teasing smile, eyes narrowing, and face clearly flushed — matching your complete complexion, "i thought you wanted to focus on the project?" he mumbled lowly.
"you distracted me." you laughed softly, the heat of your laugh hitting his lips, causing his eyes to look back down to your mouth.
he pecked your lips a few times, his hand sliding up to the side of your neck this time, letting his lips cling onto yours longer than usual, "i love you."
you giggled even more – the hand resting under his jaw slid its way to the back of his head, resting your fingertips in between his hair strands, "i love you too."
when he brought his lips back to yours for a peck, you pushed his head further into yours using the hand that latched behind his head, pulling him to another full proper kiss.
he tilted his head back further into the headrest through instinct, creating a deep, an almost rushed kiss, much more warmer than the last.
you felt his breath becoming uneven throughout the kiss, his grip loosened and tightened through each movement, like he wanted to let go but he knew he couldn't — everything felt addictive.
"we need to stop." you muttered out shyly when you pulled away, your words almost cutting off when he found himself chasing after your lips.
"i think you need to stop." he smiled deeply, licking his lips in process — casually, staring up at you just like how you were his whole life.
"i'm not doing anything." you shrugged, pulling yourself back down to sit on his lips properly now, his hand sliding down with you to rest back on your waist.
he rolled his eyes, "right – shoving me into my chair and leaving me out of breath is you not doing anything."
"nearly killed me there." he joked, "i wouldn't have minded though." he raised an eyebrow, catching the change of your expression – pure cringe.
"but i don't think i want that happening to you." you fake pouted, guiding your hands onto his shoulder blades. "you would do it to anyone else?" he questioned, his low smile lowering as he spoke.
you hummed, "maybe." you titled your head with a teasing smile.
he wanted to be mad at you, annoyed at you for even thinking that way and agreeing to his statement, but your beaming smile made him wipe away those thoughts almost instantly.
it was his turn to hum, almost inaudible. he placed a hand onto your forearm, pulling you down onto him, chest to chest.
your arms absentmindedly wrapped around his neck. the smallest gap was formed in between the both of your faces, begging for it to be closed.
he smiled down at you, his gaze glued to your lips, the faint plump still remaining on your lips from the moment prior.
"c'mere. all mine."
ness ˎˊ˗ CHOCO my love. i fear you just fed every coer out there with this idea i love 🤟 also I KNOWWWW trust me im done with the KISSING okay ?? (for now) unless that's what yall want ... ha
a small apartment on the wrong side of the city. one moment of raw intimacy leads to an attempt to bridge the gap, where pride gets in the way, turning a quiet night into a harsh reality check neither of you saw coming.
6.1K
warnings: emotional distance, miscommunication, unlabelled relationship, friends to benefits?, angst, harsh words, hurtful dialogue, pride & boundaries, class differences, reader's poor attempt at comforting explicit sexual content/smut: oral sex (f & m receiving), over stimulation, hickeys/marking, unprotected p in v, cowgirl/riding position, creampie, slow to rough sex, biting, hair pulling, subtle praise, mild degradation, passionate sex, neck grabbing, teasing, size difference/size handling, missionary sex, brief power play, vulnerability conflict, accusations.
no proofread yet!
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝
there was no musty or aging odor here, only the faint, familiar scent of his fragrance that you’d grown used to smelling on him, especially when you hugged him.
you never thought you’d set foot on this side of the city, a little apart from the center, but still within it, tucked among charming buildings, though not inside one of those.
he lived in one of those low-slung, house like structures that people usually chose out of sheer affordability.
you had braced yourself for a dingy, eerie atmosphere, but it was less like that than you’d imagined.
his place even had a tiny courtyard leading to the front door. the interior was another surprise entirely. james never gave the impression of being untidy, his modest appearance was always put together. but knowing him, his life for a while now, you had expected a cluttered space, especially in a neighborhood like this.
stepping inside, you were greeted by a plain room with creamy white walls, a small plastic window sat across from the entrance. to your right, an open door offered a glimpse into what you guessed was his bedroom. beside it stood an aged brown couch facing a television, a detail that caught you off guard. in front of the couch sat a compact coffee table with peeling paint, its surface holding a neat stack of books.
an old wooden shelf lined with various odds and ends drew your attention, taking up the last remaining space in the room. there was hardly any room left to decorate anyway. turning to your left, you noticed a nook-like kitchen area. it was slightly disheveled; james had clearly been in a rush when he left that morning.
you always tried not to let your face show anything, no matter his lifestyle, no matter what surrounded him. calling it a lifestyle even felt wrong, considering he’d been more or less forced into it by fate’s cruel games.
so, as you stepped in and swept your gaze over the room, you said nothing and sat down cautiously on the couch, which gave a soft groan under your weight. james followed you in from the door, carrying the bags of food you had picked up together, and set them down on the small table.
“well, make yourself at home. i’ll be right back,” he said softly, a gentle contrast to his usual sharp, decisive tone.
you nodded, your eyes tracking him as he vanished behind his bedroom door. when he reappeared, he had changed out of his clothes and stepped back outside, mentioning he needed to fetch something from the yard.
a few quiet minutes passed as you took in the little space around you, your hands resting neatly on your knees over your skirt. any outsider looking at you, with your glossy hair falling over your shoulders, manicured appearance, and tailored clothes, would instantly know you didn't belong in a place like this. without your sneakers left at the door, the chill of the floor seeped through your socks.
restless, you stood up. not quite meaning to do anything in particular, and drifted toward the window, only to find the view blocked by the adjacent building. turning back, your gaze caught a small pile of laundry resting on the floor beside a low shelf. you strolled over and crouched down, enveloped by the fresh, clean scent drifting off the fabric. they were just his clean clothes, likely waiting to be folded and stored away.
you picked up a shirt, casually folding it, and mindlessly lifted it to your nose, breathing in his scent until it made you feel pleasantly lightheaded. folding and cleaning were things you never bothered with at home, and the sudden impulse surprised even you. before you knew it, you had neatly folded most of the pile.
as you reached for another shirt, james’s voice sounded from the doorway above you.
“you really didn’t have to do that,” he said, a mix of surprise and mild concern lacing his voice.
“it’s no trouble at all. i take it you were in a rush this morning?” you asked, trying to ease the delicate tension hanging in the air during your first visit to his home.
“yeah, i overslept...” he admitted, stepping into the kitchen before popping his head back out. “i left them there so i could deal with them when i got back.”
setting the last folded garment onto the stack, you stood up. “well, it’s already done, so no worries,” you replied with a playful, self-satisfied smile, as if you had just cleaned the entire house for him.
returning to the couch, you sat down and met his gaze.
was that a flicker of soft adoration hiding in his clouded eyes?
you couldn't be entirely sure, so you pushed the thought aside, watching as he dried his hands on a white towel.
he simply stood there, observing you with the trace of a smile playing on his lips.
“i guess i’m going to be hearing that line a lot more from now on,” he murmured with a soft chuckle, tossing the towel back onto the kitchen counter.
you kept your teasing smile, tilting your head and giving a casual shrug. “well, your guest comes over and takes care of your chores for you, what's not to like? you should be grateful.”
he looked back at you, his expression suddenly hard to describe. he began walking toward you, only to freeze mid-step as something crossed his mind.
“oh, i almost forgot to give these back,” he said, gesturing with a nod toward two boxes sitting near the side of the couch. “i told him i’d return them after work.”
he leaned down and hoisted the boxes effortlessly, the strain bringing out the defined veins along his arms. tearing your gaze away from his mouth-watering physique with a bit of effort, you looked up to meet his eyes.
“where are you going?” you asked softly. “will it take long?”
“no, they belong to my neighbor,” he replied gently. “he lives right nearby. i’ll be back in just a couple of minutes.”
he disappeared again as your smile slowly faded, and you glanced around once more. you took the food and drinks out of their plastic bag and laid them out on the table. you turned on the tv, since the two of you had agreed to watch something. as you scrolled through, looking for something interesting, your eyes caught a small figure sitting on the shelf.
you set the remote down and stood up, drawn to look closer at the things on it. that same funny little figure, you remembered giving it to him. alongside it were various items that reflected his hobbies, which you were already familiar with. you picked up a small book, one from a french poet, and wondered if he actually read it, though you wouldn’t have been surprised if he did. beneath the book lay a small notebook with a slip of paper tucked between its pages.
curiosity got the better of you, so you gently pulled it out and found a photograph of a woman. the colors had already faded, making it obvious that the picture was quite old. she was smiling, with a subtle dimple near her slender mouth. your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you could never mistake that smile. she smiled just like james. you stepped closer to the light to see her face more clearly. just as you were about to turn the photo over to check for any written notes, you felt a sudden presence.
you turned your head and flinched, finding james’s eyes already fixed on the photo.
seeing you turn to him, he met your gaze. for a moment you braced for anger, for him to snatch it from your hand and scold you for prying into his personal belongings. but his expression remained entirely blank and unreadable.
you swallowed softly and held the photo out toward him.
“i saw it while looking through your books. sorry, i didn’t mean to,”
you said, embarrassment and irritation tangling together inside you as your own words came out sounding stupid to your ears.
“she’s my mother. my family, you asked about,” he said quietly, that same clouded gaze resting on your bright eyes.
you searched instinctively for any trace of tension in them, remembering how many times you’d asked about his background before, only for him to brush it off or give indifferent answers, until you eventually stopped bringing it up altogether.
"she is beautiful," you smiled, at a loss for words at first.
he slowly took the photo from your hand, his thumb gently brushing across the surface as he gazed at it.
"she is," he agreed softly.
you did not press him with many questions about his mother, though he mentioned that this was one of the few photographs he had left of her.
you could sense a deep longing in him, a feeling you had never witnessed before. this vulnerable moment was a first for you. as you stood beside him, watching a strand of hair fall over his forehead while his eyes remained fixed on the picture, you realized how little the two of you actually knew about each other’s feelings in general.
that had never really been the point of your time together anyway. your meetings had always been emotionally detached encounters, driven by little more than pure desire.
a few moments passed, and soon you found yourself back on the couch, eating and watching the movie you had picked out. you sat close, gently wrapping your arm around him as a subtle gesture of comfort after seeing the photograph. yet, you still felt like you failed to grasp whatever was passing through his mind.
you were simply unfamiliar with feelings like these.
born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you had never known genuine heartache, only the fleeting disappointment of not getting what you wanted when your father refused a request.
james had his left arm draped over the back of the couch behind your head, his gaze locked onto the screen. your arm rested casually across his chest, and your legs lay over his open ones. his free hand rested on your exposed thigh where your skirt had ridden up. his warm fingers brought heat to your cold skin while your cheek pressed against the rhythm of his heartbeat.
your attention had long drifted away from the movie. it was a genre you did not particularly care for, though it held james completely captive. his intense, glossy eyes followed every movement on the screen, making you secretly wish he would give that exact same unwavering attention to you, every second of every day.
the sun had already set, and the faint light coming through the window turned dim and dark, even though it was not late. you silently studied his facial features without breaking his focus, wanting to admire him and indulge in your own quiet mischief without him noticing. you shifted your head slightly upward, adjusting your posture without a sound, until your face was resting right beside the exposed skin of his neck.
you slowly brought your head closer to his neck, your nose barely touching his skin. you rested your head on his shoulder, your lips drifting closer to the soft patch of skin just beneath his ear.
neither of you had mentioned anything about physical intimacy when you decided to come over, though that had never been something you needed to speak aloud. still, you felt a sudden rush of warmth spread through your body, especially as his slender fingers, subtle green veins on his hands, brushed idly against your leg. he always did that whenever the two of you watched something together.
you pressed your face softly into his neck, making it look as though you were simply getting sleepy, and inhaled his scent. he did not pull away or stop what he was doing, continuing to stroke his thumb against your thigh while keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.
soft lips brushed against his skin, not quite kissing him yet. your left hand moved along his shoulder, bringing your index finger up to touch the exact spot your lips had just grazed. then you leaned back in, planting a soft peck against his skin, and then another. you let the tip of your tongue briefly touch his warm skin before sealing it with your lips, pulling a tiny section between them to suck gently, feeling a quiet sense of satisfaction at the faint flush of red beginning to form.
james did not seem to mind at all, allowing his fingers to continue their faint, rhythmic caress.
you pressed against his skin again, firmer this time, as you sucked harder, bringing your teeth and tongue into the fold. you felt his grip instantly tighten on your thigh. his left arm wrapped around your back while his hand cupped your chin, gently tilting your head back and turning your face toward him.
"hm, i thought i asked you not to leave any marks there. i cannot cover those up," he half whispered, his eyes searching yours intently.
"you did not listen to me when i told you the exact same thing last time, though," you replied, arching an eyebrow as you waited for his response.
a tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips. his fingers gently stroked your chin while his other hand remained rested against your thigh.
"because your neck looks much better with them. besides, those sheer scarves you match with your outfits suit you well," he answered softly, holding your gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the television.
"mmm? i never knew you liked those. but i only wear them because you refuse to listen to me," you said, your voice dripping with playful, exaggerated irritation.
he simply smiled at that, showing no remorse whatsoever. fueled by his smug expression, you suddenly leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, then took his lips entirely with yours. it was meant to be nothing more than a brief kiss, but his hand slid up from your leg to cup your face while his other arm wrapped firmly around your waist. he kissed you back deeply, his tongue already pressing against the swell of your lower lip, asking for entry. before you could process it, he deepened the kiss completely. your hands tangled into his hair, one of them caressing the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the strands.
his hand moved from your cheek to shift your weight, lifting you up to sit directly in his lap, facing him completely. the glowing television screen was now behind, casting faint light into the dimly lit room.
the two of you broke the kiss to catch your breath. his hands gently caressed your back before settling onto your hips, while his other hand guided your head down to rest against his chest, his eyes drifting back to the moving figures on the screen.
you let out a soft breath, staying still like that for a moment before raising your head slightly. his sharp jawline rested right beside your face. you raised your hand to his neck, slowly tracing down his silver necklace to the collar of his shirt. two of your fingers lightly felt the firm muscle beneath the fabric as they made their way downward, slowly approaching the waistband of his pants.
only then did you notice the faint bulge forming in his pants, sparking a new idea in your mind.
you slowly slid backward, dropping down to the floor between his parted legs. his head turned down toward you, eyebrows raised in silent question. before any words could leave his mouth, your hands wasted no time pulling his pants and boxers down together, releasing his aching length.
your mouth watered instantly at the sight of his firm, veiny shaft and flushed tip. you let your finger trace him from base to top, pausing at the delicate skin near the head.
you felt his breathing grow slightly uneven. keeping eye contact, you closed the distance between his tip and your lips. his attention was no longer on the screen as he looked down at you, that cocky expression returning to his face.
"missed it that much?" he asked softly.
just as he spoke, you extended your tongue and gave the tip a slow lick, pausing to gauge his reaction. he fell quiet and watched you intently, his length twitching in response.
you took the head of his shaft into your mouth, keeping your lips still while your tongue teased him inside, moving in slow circles around the tip. his hand found your hair, gently applying pressure to guide you deeper.
you complied, taking in as much as you could, though his size made it impossible to take him all the way. he began to caress the hair near your forehead without making a sound, simply watching how eagerly you took him. you did not tease him any longer and began a steady rhythm, your eyes occasionally locking onto his half-closed gaze. he let out a low sigh of relief and sank deeper into the couch as you bobbed up and down, feeling him pulse against your tongue.
a soft, pleasant melody began to play from the movie, contrasting with the quiet intensity between the two of you. his head fell back against the couch, his breathing deep and steady, his chest rising and falling in time with your pace.
all of a sudden, he gently halted the movement of your head and guided his dick out of your mouth, leaving a thin strand of saliva connecting his shaft to your swollen, flushed lips.
leaning down, he gripped your arms firmly and lifted you up into his embrace, hooking his other arm beneath your thighs to support your weight. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, locking your legs around his waist. you felt him lean forward slightly, keeping one arm securely around you while using his free hand to pick up the remote and turn off the television.
you expected him to lay you down on the couch, but instead he carried you into the bedroom, your back settling onto the mattress. the room was lit only by the faint glow spilling from the main room and the soft streetlight filtering through the window, leaving everything in shadow except for james's silhouette. not that anything else mattered to you in that moment.
he took off his shirt by pulling it up over his chest, giving you a clear view of his muscular frame as he moved. his skin caught the dim light, and you watched him with a gaze heavy with desire. he stepped up to the edge of the bed near your feet, while you lay back with your hands resting behind your head.
he looked down at you, his mouth parted slightly, as he pulled the shirt free from his arms and let it drop onto the floor behind him.
he leaned down slowly, resting one arm on the mattress to support his weight while his other hand gripped your ankles, pulling you toward him in one fluid motion.
a quiet gasp escaped your lips at the sudden shift. his fingers slowly traced a path up your legs, reaching the zipper of your skirt. he unzipped and removed it deftly, his eyes meeting yours as a soft sound of approval left your throat. left in your white cotton underwear, you instinctively pressed your thighs closer together. he folded your skirt neatly and set it on a chair nearby before returning to undo the top three buttons of your blouse, exposing the curve of your chest above your bra.
he unbuttoned it carefully, laid it beside your skirt, and then leaned in close to your face. positioned right over you, he watched the flutter of your eyelashes before capturing your lips with his own.
he kissed you softly at first, but soon pressed deeper, taking control of the rhythm. you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers catching the chain of his necklace as you gently pulled him closer.
without breaking the contact of his lips, he trailed a path of wet kisses down along your jaw, moving lower until he found the sensitive spot on your neck. he kissed, licked, and gently sucked the soft skin there before drifting down toward your chest, covering it in slow, deliberate kisses.
unclasping your bra, he hooked a finger under the waistband of your underwear, pushing it down your legs and raising them to slide it off completely.
he left your underwear on the chair with the other clothes and wasted no time. he parted your legs, leaving your center fully exposed and glistening with arousal. before he dived in, you brought his head up to your lips, kissing him one more time.
"i want you now, james, please."
he trailed kisses back down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it, making you lose your mind and arch your back off the mattress.
"mhmm, but i want to taste you first, baby."
there it was. the pet name slipped past his lips, hitting the exact right note to make your core ache even more. you tried to press your thighs back together, but james held them firm, opening them even wider.
he moved down at last, planting a line of kisses down from your chest to your stomach. he did not tease you the way you had done to him earlier; setting aside his usual slow pace, he dived right in, pulling a soft moan from your throat.
his tongue flicked over your clit, licking your folds hungrily before pushing deep into your slick entrance. your body tightened around nothing, desperate for his full length.
watching your overwhelmed state, his tongue took one long, sweeping stroke up your wet center, making your eyes roll back. one finger circled slowly around your opening without going inside, driving you mad with anticipation.
his tongue found your clit once more, pressing firmly against the sensitive nerve, making you let out high-pitched whimpers. he pressed a few quick kisses against your mount before dropping back down to your opening, slipping his tongue in and out to push your frustration to the limit.
your voice filled the dim room, calling his name over and over as he drank you in like a starving man.
you pushed his head closer, your legs tightening around him. sensing that you were right on the edge, he suddenly stopped. he easily forced your legs back down and sat up to look at you, his mouth and nose wet with your slickness, which he wiped away with the back of his hand.
you let out a desperate whine, needing the building heat to finally break. but he only gave you a lopsided smirk, his hands already pulling his briefs down to free his fully erect length.
breathing heavily, you watched him stroke his shaft, his thumb lightly running over the swollen tip.
"what was it that you wanted?" he asked, his own breath still coming fast.
you stared at him in utter disbelief. "i already told you what i wanted," you said, a slight smirk returning to your face as your eyebrows arched.
his expression remained unreadable, his eyes dropping down to watch his hand around his shaft before snapping right back to yours. "i did not really hear anything," he said, squinting slightly as if the room were somehow deafeningly loud. "just some whiny noises. i could not make it out." he smirked again.
you pushed yourself up, supporting your weight on your hands behind you. "i want you to," you glanced down briefly at his dick, "fuck me, james. so well that i forget everything else except the pleasure you give me."
you whispered the words seductively, making him smile, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
expecting him to lean over you, you were surprised when he shifted across the bed and lay flat on his back, gesturing for you to come closer. you obeyed and moved over him. he immediately grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him, dragging your wet center along his hard shaft, drawing a sharp intake of breath from both of you.
you sat up over him, sliding your body against his, leaning down just enough to let him take your nipple into his mouth once more. you began to grind against him, soft moans escaping your lips, your back arched and your head tilted toward the ceiling.
then you felt his fingers slip between your bodies, guiding his tip to your entrance and pushing himself all the way inside.
a soft moan escaped your lips as he filled you completely, his length leaving no room for your walls to breathe.
you began to move slowly, setting your own pace, pulling yourself up until only his tip remained inside before sinking back down all the way to the base.
looking down, you caught his dark, sparkling eyes fixed on your flushed face while he drew your nipple into his mouth. his hands gripped your hips firmly, holding and caressing you with enough pressure that you knew the marks of his fingers would likely stay on your skin later.
the intensity in his eyes sparked a new sensation within you. it was hard to tell what was running through his mind in that moment, aside from the sound of his heavy breathing and quiet, ragged gasps.
releasing your chest from his lips, his hand moved from your hip up to your back, just above your waist, pulling your upper body flush against his chest.
face to face with him, you instinctively reached for his lips. the two of you fell into a deep, desperate kiss. his teeth nipped at your lips while his fingers tangled into your hair, tugging with a rough edge as he snapped his hips upward in a sharp, hard thrust deep into your slick core.
you broke the kiss with a loud moan, your lips stinging from the force of his mouth.
you glanced down at him a moment later. even though you enjoyed his usual roughness, your mind felt slightly hazy from his sudden loss of restraint.
his gaze drifted down to where your bodies met before snapping back to yours, sensing your eyes on him.
the two of you held each other's stare, an intense, quiet tension rising between you that felt entirely distinct from the physical friction of your bodies.
with your arms beginning to ache from supporting your weight, you found yourself waiting for him to break the silence, sensing that he wanted to say or ask something but chose to hold it back.
instead, he deftly flipped you onto your side before rolling over to take the lead. he lifted your legs up over his shoulders and began pounding into you with hard, relentless thrusts.
your voice immediately echoed through the room, mingling with the slick, obscene sounds of your heated, tangled bodies.
his thrusts grew heavier and less rhythmic as he finally released your legs, head tilted back, his mouth parted as he fought for air. then his gaze dropped back to you, thumb suddenly found your clit, applying a steady, circular pressure that pulled a sharp whine from your chest.
you reached up for him, wrapping your arms into the air in an open invitation. he watched your desperate state for a heartbeat before sinking his weight back down, his lips instantly finding yours. james kissed you again and again, slowing his pace just enough to draw out the pleasure.
"i want to feel you come with me, james, please," you pleaded against his mouth, your voice thick with heat as you teetered right on the edge.
he hovered close over your face, his arms planted on either side of your head to frame you. with every deep thrust, the silver chain around his neck swung back and forth, lightly grazing your skin.
feeling the intense pressure building deep in your core, a string of broken sighs and desperate praises spilled from your lips. your hands gripped his back, your nails digging into the smooth muscle of his skin to anchor yourself.
low, gravelly moans began to slip from james’s throat as his own climax threatened to break. he locked his dark eyes onto yours, adjusting his pace to match your frantic rhythm, holding back his own release until he felt your body tighten around him.
the moment your walls pulsed in a hard, overwhelming wave, he drove into you one last time and let go, spilling himself deep inside you. your cries merged with his low, ragged groans, echoing together through the quiet room.
you did not fall asleep right away, though the heavy weight of it settled over your eyelids like a soft veil. you yawned silently, wondering what time it could be. feeling the cool breeze filtering through the window, your eyes drifted toward the faint lights outside, your thoughts already scattering to different corners of your life.
without fully realizing it, your gaze shifted to james lying beside you. one arm was tucked behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, his mind seemingly miles away.
you had just experienced some of the best sex of your life, yet you still could not call him a boyfriend. you could not even call him a friend at this point. after all the moments you had shared like this, you still could not grasp what he truly was to you.
it happened sometimes. in the quiet aftermath, your mind would turn gloomy, asking silent questions about your relationship and life, only to find no real answers.
whenever this mood set in, you stopped searching for clarity and instead comforted yourself with what you had, knowing you had far fewer things to worry about than most people.
or perhaps it was simply because james carried his own heavy burdens in life.
whenever you remembered what he went through, your own troubles felt like insignificant, unwanted pebbles along a smooth path. his quiet fight to keep going even inspired you to do the same at times.
feeling the ache in your muscles, you found it hard to get up, but you forced yourself to move and search for your clothes. after slipping into your bra and underwear, you stepped into the other room to retrieve your phone, squinting slightly against the dark to check the time. noticing the bathroom door inside his bedroom, you slipped inside to take care of yourself before coming back out to pick up your skirt.
"you are not staying?"
james's soft voice pulled you sharply out of your thoughts. your own surprised expression mirrored the look on his face.
"you seem to want me around a lot today, huh?" you let out a shaky smile, trying to keep the mood light.
his unreadable expression did not shift as he watched you step into your skirt and pull your blouse over your head.
"it is getting late, and i thought you would be tired," he said, gesturing toward you with his hand as his eyes met yours.
"i am..." you admitted, smoothing down your hair while making a mental note to take a long shower the moment you got home. "...but i have things to do tomorrow. i have to wake up early."
finding a mirror across the room, you flipped a small switch to turn on the light, wincing slightly as the brightness hit your eyes. you stepped in front of the glass and turned around, offering yourself a tight smile as you confirmed everything was back in order.
his eyes never left your reflection. he stood up slowly from the bed, his dark gaze tracking your every move in the mirror.
you left the bedroom to find your handbag, rummaging through it for your favorite candy and popping one into your mouth. behind, you heard james moving as he dressed, his footsteps fading into the small kitchen.
you wandered back into his room to make sure you had not left anything behind, when a sudden, heavy impulse washed over you.
you wondered if he needed money this time around, even though he would never admit it to you. when you arrived earlier, he had bought all the food himself. it had made you uncomfortable; you could not help wanting to provide everything yourself. under normal circumstances, you would never worry about a man spending money on you, but every time james did, an unnamed ache in your chest grew stronger.
you could so easily cover it all, if only he would let you.
opening your bag again, you pulled out your purse. scrolling through the different cards shining under your fingers, you caught sight of a few crisp bills tucked inside. you pulled them out, noting that the amount was more than eight times the cost of the food he had bought.
hesitating for a fraction of a second, terrified of how he might react, you quickly set the cash down on his nightstand and tiptoed out of the room.
you stood near the front door just as james stepped out of the kitchen, taking you in. moving closer to the exit, you let out a hurried "bye," trying to leave before he could stop you. behind you, he was already heading toward his room to grab his jacket, calling out, "wait, how are you getting back? cab?"
you stepped outside, closing the door behind you, and bent down to pull your sneakers on properly.
the air had a crisp, cool bite to it, the leaves on a nearby tree swaying softly in the breeze. you took a few steps into the yard, but the heavy main door suddenly creaked open behind you.
"wait."
you froze.
turning around slowly, you saw him walking toward you, stopping just short of your space. his hand held the paper money you had left behind.
james’s eyes were narrowed, as if he did not for a second believe you had simply forgotten the cash by his bed. his face was tight with quiet fury.
"uh, what happened?" you asked softly, trying to play it off.
he scoffed in disbelief, his head turning to the side before his dark brown eyes snapped back to yours, deeper and colder than before.
"this happened," he said, tilting the bills in his hand as he took another step closer. "what is this supposed to mean?"
the tension in the air made you deeply uneasy. "it was for the food... and, well, yeah."
you hated the way you stuttered, feeling entirely unlike yourself. but you knew how much he despised any talk of money, especially between the two of you. he had always politely shut it down whenever you tried to bring it up.
"did i ask you to pay for anything?" he asked, his tone hardening, making your eyebrows rise in shock.
"or are you paying me for sex?"
at his harsh words, your tired eyes snapped wide open. the accusation felt like a physical blow.
"what? obviously not!"
"obviously?" he repeated bitterly.
you stared at the money gripped tightly in his hand, his tall frame towering over you in the dim courtyard light.
"look, do not take this as pity or anything," you tried to explain, your voice desperate to fix the shift between you. "i just know how quickly things can get hard—"
"you know nothing," he cut you off sharply. "you know nothing about me, and i do not want you getting involved in my life like this."
he grabbed your hand and forcefully shoved the money back into your palm.
you stood there completely stunned, your mouth opening and closing as scorching heat rushed to your face. embarrassment, hurt, and sudden anger twisted together inside your chest.
"right," you spat out, your voice laced with venom. "maybe this is exactly what you deserve."
without waiting for a response, you spun around and marched out of his courtyard. your steps were sharp and fast, your lips pressed into a hard line, a dark frown covering your face.
behind you, there was no sound, no footsteps following after you.
only the cold glow of the streetlights guiding your frantic pace into the night.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
a/n: had this idea for a while ;) especially with james. the plot kind of grew more than I planned. any comments & ideas are appreciated as they motivate me to share more of these stories that come to my mind.
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