I Certainly Hope It Would Be Weird

Hi, Magicians fan here. And Roswell New Mexico fan apparently.

[orchardsinsnow]

Connor Storrie as iconic Madonna photo and video shoots. Some history for the youths.

[orchardsinsnow]

Oh, nothing, just thinking about how Ilya’s fictional street name is Beacon, and there’s a warm light in the background when Shane gets this text, and the lyrics we hear are “you’re standing in my light” -and isn’t it remarkable that a beacon is either a guiding light or a warning signal, depending on how in control you are of your vessel, and maybe this want for Ilya is the first want of his adult life that is Shane’s alone? Not for his parents or his generational talent, but his. Pure want. And Ilya carrying a torch for him and him alone is his, too—a secret, yes, for many reasons, but his. Theirs. Nothing else feels like that.

[orchardsinsnow]

[orchardsinsnow]

Shane and Ilya should really send Scott an edible arrangement for the way he altered the course of their relationship.

[orchardsinsnow]

I was sitting here trying to remember if anyone went as Ilya and Shane last Halloween — and was forced to acknowledge that last year Halloween no one even knew about this show?!?!? How can that be? I feel I have lived about three or four lifetimes since that first lighter click.

[orchardsinsnow]

It just dawned on me that the documentary referring to Shane’s cottage as his “fortress of solitude” is, of course, a deliberate choice.

The only fortress of solitude I know is the one where Superman brings the one and only love of his life, realizes living a secret double life is standing in their way, then deliberately drains his own power to become human so they can be together.

[orchardsinsnow]

My Threads feed made me do a spit take

[orchardsinsnow]

Hee hee . . . the way the light is reflecting on these PVC boots, it’s giving chicken leg socks.

[ceeceelolz]

Shane Hollanders codependency on erg scores

I guarantee you if Rozanov had a +7 min 2k Hollander would punt him into the Ottawa river :)

(and when he's really in the dumps he changes the monitor from pace/500m, spm, pace boat to the calorie counter and nothing else)

ALSO he would defo know what the power output curve means

[orchardsinsnow]

[orchardsinsnow]

Honestly it is so exhausting to be in a fandom sometimes.

[khaleesiofalicante]

i want an au fic where yuna and david are obsessed with "the sweet russian boy from the farmer's market". none of this "there were no nice men in montreal?" or "i thought you hated him" bullshit. no no. yuna and david think ilya shits roses and rainbows. they think ilya is the second coming of jesus. shane is so sick of this bullshit. shane thinks it's some rando who is trying to scam his parents. shane thinks this dude is weird for spending so much time with a couple in their 50s. shane gets competitive. and then shane comes out to his parents and since then, they've been shamelessly trying to set them up (lowkey tried to set them up when shane was straight too, but that's a different thing), and shane is not having it, thank you very much. ilya, who has seen the entire album 'shanebug' on david hollander's phone is disgustingly in love with the pretty boy with freckles who apparently hates him for some reason. shane will rather die than date this asshole who is trying to steal his parents. then shane sees the pic yuna posts on her instagram and ohhhhh that's what ilya rozanov looks like and now he has to pretend like he still hates ilya lest everyone involved finds out that shane is a slut for gorgeous russian men with perfect curls and pretty moles and beefy arms.

[orchardsinsnow]

Shane and Ilya drop by Yuna’s office to meet about some hockey camp stuff and she’s on the phone with an equipment distributor letting them know about a shipping mix-up.

Shane snoops into a large cardboard box at the same moment as he hears her say into the phone “These were supposed to be youth shin guards and we got adult knee pads.”

Ilya, still in the doorway, lights up in an absolutely diabolical grin. Shane sees Ilya’s mouth beginning to form a word, Oh, hmm, we can find a use—nothing appropriate.

Before Ilya can speak, Shane does what he needs to do, having the instincts of an elite professional athlete, and yeets a package of kneepads over Ilya’s head and into the hallway which at least sends Ilya out of the room to retrieve them.

He mumbles an excuse to his mom and scoots out of the room after Ilya before Yuna can see his face flushing bright red. Let’s reschedule. Something has come up. (Ilya cackling now.)

Ilya later sends an expensive flower arrangement to the equipment warehouse shipping crew.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

#know your fandom history

[spcecowboyyy]

ilya rozanov would buy this and wear it everywhere

[orchardsinsnow]

View this post on Instagram

I know canonically Ilya and Shane didn’t overthink their wedding or plan readings or anything but…this is so Shane reciting this to Ilya through tears, right? Who’s with me?

[orchardsinsnow]

Are we going to talk about the fact that, in the book, Shane goes from running away from Ilya’s tuna melt to Rose offering him a share of her fresh-from-the-fryer SALT COD FRITTERS? My man cannot escape the hot fish aroma!

I mean I’m glad Jacob changed it to French fries because succulent cod would have been a little too on the nose (hehe) and also would have been a tad misogynistic if it were to come from a gay male director (Rachel gets a pass).