In another life I would have let my creativity express itself in other ways , photography, painting, textiles, yoga, sometimes life flips upside down and goes out of control without you meaning it to, sometimes I wonder why life changes so drastically from a certain point where I was so happy and health and had a small amazing group of friends. Then I think about all the things that were going on at that particular time and I find peace with myself understanding that other peopleās actions were beyond my control, and at that time keeping a journal and writing it all down made sure that the facts are intact. No one can re write history to suit their own needs to excuse themselves, no one can heap their own choices and decisions as being someone elseās responsibility. In life we all individually make choices - rightly or wrongly and then our own lifeās reflect the decisions we make, often we make errors when we are younger that heavily impact our teen/adolescent/adult life. But as we āadultā we grow, way beyond our own preconceptions of how life should be, of what others expect of us, of where, who or why we should be and we slowly, peacefully and calmly try to navigate our own path. I have spent so many years lost. Trying to make the best of some really stupid mistakes of my own. Naively wasting so much time also trying to fix everyone elseās problems too. Because fixing others gave me some kind of positive feeling amongst my own feelings of failure and sadness. Now my last fear has been resolved I feel I can cast off the heavy oil from my wings, bask in the warm waters and prepare to flap my wings and fly freely. Without holding back for āwhat ifā āmaybeā ābutā itās time to focus on myself now. Finally. I have a warm glow, and enthusiasm for life, a desire to be pain free, to follow my dream and not be in hiding in the shadows looking out for the bogeyman - the unrest, the dis-ease, the fear has washed away, and I feel finally some peace, and that might not fit everyone elseās expectation of me, but itās my life and as someone with both #trigeminalNeuralgia & injury, keep happy is the key to #LIFE & #living #positivity #motivation #art #read #paint #photography https://www.instagram.com/p/BxubHqoAUUy/?igshid=fhscfv46s33n
