Wreck this blog

[ariadnethedragon]

THE KNIGHT AND THE MOTH by Rachel Gilling

To tell a story is in some part to tell a lie, isn’t it?

[blignick]

[whatcoloristhatcat]

black mackerel tabby with low white spotting

[phoenix-theurge]

@artsystarsandshadows

[galileosballs]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the idea that you can make a little mistake while doing your taxes and then go to jail for it is mostly not a thing. If you make a mistake on your taxes you'll get a letter in the mail that says 'hey you made a mistake on your taxes' and then you can fix it (source: I have made mistakes on my taxes, international tax treaties are complicated). The only time people typically go to jail for tax stuff is if they commit massive intentional (or negligent, like if they run a business and never consult any expert on how payroll taxes work) fraud over a long period of time.

There's basically no way for a person new to doing taxes - and presumably not handling a lot of money - to accidentally fuck up those taxes in a way that's going to end with that person in jail.

[mikkeneko]

Y'know, one of the things I like about Tumblr compared to other social media sites is that old content is still in circulation. Which means that however much AI generated content is out there, at least I can glance at a post's timestamp and conclude that the cute cat video from 2017 is unlikely to be fake

[busket]

tumblr theyre saying that youre dead, again

[girlactionfigure]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[entiqua]

icl up until now i still felt like the existence of the zelda movie was some kind of fever dream but after seeing them in costume... OKAY?? I'M CONVINCED?

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

if you can and want to, go to college when you’re 30. move out at 40. learn to drive at 50. life is short but it is also so long. it’s not too late to do new things.

[idiomagic]

I met my husband when I was 42. I started loving myself, and life, when I was 46. I got a mortgage and 'bought' a house when I was 50. I'm 56. I'm just getting started. It is never, never too late.

[pusheen]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[threefreeze]

shakespeare was ahead of his time

[natashkashai]

reblog if baby don’t hurt me just played in your head in perfect tonality

[beardedmrbean]

[ownedself33]

[missmeimeimei]

Kakashi has the disappointed look DOWN

[90s-kid-sad-adult]

it's not a wonderful life

[ruiner-of-days]

"I'm the freaky queer they warned you about!" You are the gay equivalent of a pearl clutching mom that complains that videogames are too violent and says 'think of the children!!' when they see something dEmOnIc

"I love toxic yaoi!" Your 'toxic' yaoi is mild as hell and you harass those that like things you personally find gross or dislike

This is about some Anti's I've seen.