todays bird

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titsay

if i look back, i am lost
Show & Tell
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Andulka
ojovivo
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Monterey Bay Aquarium
I'd rather be in outer space đž
h

tannertan36
dirt enthusiast
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
cherry valley forever

ellievsbear
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@ormiscodes
You donât have to fake orgasm to help your partnerâs ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didnât cum.Â
Im sorry he wrote a fucking what
Javier Bardem in Jamón Jamón (1992) dir. Bigas Luna
I just need you all to know that sign D53, meaning male, is the determinative for poison which is also the same word as semen. Because the Egyptians knew what was what. Also that to discuss something involves TWO dicks. Thank you for your attention
#D52 is dry dick D53 is ejaculating dick
True story
Also adding:
âsuppositoryâ (the sign beneath is the egg hieroglyph, which makes it funnier)
*giggity*
Alright ladsâŠ.easy there
2 dicks for gossip?
Some further additions:
Fellas is it gay
T H I C C
Proof men think with their dicks, straight from Ancient Egypt
I uh. Okay?
A wmt n mt?Â
Reblogging to add
Dicks out for legal reasons
In related legal dick usage:
three consecutive days of lake michigan
an unfun good place/parks and rec list
Leslie: As a deceased U.S. president, Leslie Knope is spending eternity learning the intimate details of every life she and her policies ruined during her time in office.
Ben: Ben is regressed to 18 and spends all his time building and managing Ice Towns, usually in the desert and watching them fail in new and horrible ways each time. Â Heâs also going to be wearing roller blades, boyshorts and a leather neck tie for the rest of time, and everything after that as well.
Tom: Tom Haverford, Baller, is wearing just slightly too tight burlap tighty-wighties and a 3XL Pawnee Tricentennial t-shirt. Â Heâs ringing up beautiful clothes, in a cold store. Â Heâs desperately focused! Â Thereâs a Celebrity two registers behind him!
April: April is a flight attendant on an infinitely long plane. Â If she ever stops smiling, she receives a strong electric shock.
Andy: Andy is spending eternity in a pig crate, wearing a bespoke three piece suit and being force-fed hot dogs. Â Is he up to his mouth in his own shit? Â Yes.
Ann: Ann lead a reasonably moral, if unremarkable life. Â She is naked and running through flaming brambles forever.
Chris: Even though his body continues to age, nobody else in this gym he canât leave until heâs young and beautiful again has that problem.
Ron:  While Ron does data entry in an office with an open floor plan and a âstrong office culture,â thereâs a socialist utopia absolutely raging outside.
Craig:  Heâs still managing the parks department and it isnât so bad, except all of his teeth have been fused into one enormous âuni-toothâ, so he canât talk or unclench his jaw. Â
Donna: Donna is like 99.9% sure sheâs in the good place, but every so often she gets bored out of  her mind for, like, years.
Jerry/Larry/Gary: Â Heâs pretty sure Donnaâs in the good place, because they probably wouldnât be pen pals if they werenât.
Iâm sorry to interrupt
Itâs just Iâm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you.
â
Do You Wanna Know (Arctic Monkeys cover) | Hozier
âSilent Beesâ by Stanislaw Trzebinski
Things are never quite as scary when youâve got a best friend.
#CheetAndNach
â old apple tree â new painting from my âWolfpackâ project, hope you like it, cheers! âPrasĆowiaĆska grusza chroni w swych konarach plebejskiego uciekinieraâ :P work process: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/dDdz1
Headcanon
Like many Broadway actors, Kurt, Blaine and Rachel all eventually make it onto Law and Order: SVU. Not at the same time though.
Rachel is, of course, a bit unhappy when Kurt and Blaineâs parts are bigger than hers.
Blaine is the hooker with a heart of gold, who after showing up a couple times over 2 seasons shows up as a Hudson University student with a new name, leading to online debate over whether heâs playing the same character who wanted a new start or is playing two different characters in fine L&O tradition.
Kurt has a three episode season finale arc as a slightly slippery defense attorney who gets an amazing courtroom monologue and also kidnapped by his client when his client gets out on bail but also flips out and canât resist because Kurt looks similar to his other victims.
Rachel answers two questions from the detectives with âShe came in yesterday and sat right over thereâ and âThat guy was creepyâ as Waitress #2.
RB, this is perfect. Absolutely perfect. And Rachel is so bitter about it.
And Rachel was working on processing her bitterness and doing better than expected⊠until she realized that Tina of all people ended up with more L&O screen time than she did because of the sheer number of dead bodies Tina has played.
Dead cleaning lady
Dead concert pianist
Dead dry cleaning owner
Dead wife
Dead elementary school teacher
Dead call girl
The worst was when she discovered the DeadTina&Order twitter account that live tweeted as if she was dead in every episode. Â
Rachel angrily accuses everyone of running the account just to rub it in her face!
âŠCooper runs the twitter account.
all three of them have to pretend not to be mad when tina gets the first new directions tony for her one woman show about playing a dead body on l&o so many times
this is the content i signed up for
scream bc this speaks to me on another level
I even read a piece the other day talking about how Hollywood execs are passing on projects with Asian leads because they canât just up and replace them with white people without protest any more (as if there havenât been enough whitewashed bombs this year alone for them to realize that shit donât work either lmfao)Â
The piece in question.