Disclaimer: This is a dark fiction that includes heavy themes and adult content. Do not read if you feel uncomfortable with such topics. You are responsible for your media consumption. Please read with caution!
Chapter 1 - The Fansign
Chapter 2 - Where mistakes lead
Chapter 3 - Warning bells
Chapter 4 - Morning after
Chapter 5 - The softness of chains
Chapter 6 - The damage of gentle hands
Chapter 7 - Punishment
Chapter 8 - Cracks
Chapter 9 - The cruelty of kindness
Chapter 10 - Permanent
content warnings: MDNI, smut, power imbalance (idol x fan), dubious consent/coercive dynamics, slight alcohol consumption, breath play/choking, rough sex, overstimulation, breast play, oral (m and f receive), slight degradation if you squint, possessive behavior, public interaction leading to private sexual encounter, emotional distress/panic spirals/anxiety, slight dacryphilia, explicit language, physical restraint/pinning, unprotected sex, pull out.
words: 9.9k
AN: based on this ask. Keep in mind that itâs my first time doing an ask (which I was so grateful for btw!) so I hope it lives up to everyoneâs expectations! Yes, I absolutely did get carried away, but somehow the story just wrote itself, what could I doâŠ
*everything is fictional, just for some distracting fun*
Reposts are super appreciated đ€
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Your ribs press slightly against the barrier, people pushing in from behind you as Hongioong appears on the screen. The camera follows him backstage and you feel yourself swoon a little: that cocky smile of his with the walk of a man who knows no fear, the energy he radiates - it's intoxicating.
This is your second show for the tour. Yesterday, you had stood directly in front of the stage, but you kept noticing Hongjoong going to the left side, so today, you decided to try going there too.
And it worked.
For the last hour and a half, he has been coming to this side of the stage, giving you and the people around you all kinds of interactions. You couldn't be happier that your bias is so close. More than that, it feels like he keeps singing to you, winking and pointing in your direction. Obviously, you're not delusional enough to think it means anything, but it doesn't make the feeling any less incredible.
You even made a fist to ask him to play rock paper scissors with you, out of sheer curiosity, and you about died inside when he played with you. His eyes were locked on yours the whole time, and your face burned at his intimidating presence.
Your eyes are now glued to the screen as the camera follows him up the stairs to the stage. When he appears, your heart falters a little at the sight, the lights making millions of sparkles burst on his custom made jacket.
The crowd erupts in screams and cheers when he starts yet another brand new intro to his song, as he does every night. There's something about his creative genius that gets you going every single time - if only you could have a peek inside that brain of his...
Suddenly, he makes his way down the stairs to the little corridor between the crowd and the stage, and when his foot meets the ground, he turns his head to meet your eyes instantly.
A drop of sweat runs down your back at his disarming gaze, and you can feel every fan in your vicinity staring at you. You don't know if you should look away or hold his stare, but your body takes the decision away from you - you canât look away. Not when he prances towards you, not when he sings to you, not even when he comes face to face with you.
It feels like a dream.
His orange hair seems somewhat brighter despite the lack of light down here, the shimmers around his eyes put you in a trance, and his perfume - god his perfume - it makes your head spin.
He's right there. And no, you're not dreaming. Your bias, the man you compare every guy you meet to, is standing less than two feet away from you. The one you put on a pedestal for his kindness, his generosity, his cleverness and wit, and let's face it, his stunning visuals.
His eyebrow cocks as the chorus approaches and your breath catches in your throat. You've seen videos of this happening, him passing the mic to an ATINY and having her sing along, but not in a million years did you ever think this would happen to you. You're tragically unprepared, but he doesnât give you a choice.
Itâs like it all happens in slow motion - him singing the words N-O-1 before angling the mic towards you. His demeanour is almost lazy, his free hand holding on to the barrier as he leans his weight against it.
You don't think, you just act.
The lyric comes out of you in an instant. It's not perfect or steady, your nerves manifesting in a shaky breath, but you'll be damned if you don't take this opportunity.
He smiles at you, a kind, warm smile with a slight under layer of smugness and you bite your lip, trying not to scream. He catches the tiny movement with a flicker of his eyes, and withdraws his hand from the barrier - not without brushing his fingers over your waist. Could it be accidental? Most likely. But it doesn't stop your entire body from lighting up.
He turns away, continuing his way around the stage, and you could swear he winks at you as his head whips, but so much just happened in such a short amount of time that you're dizzy, and everything feels blurry.
A girl behind you pats your shoulder.
âGirl, you good?â
The sound suddenly comes back fully and you start breathing again. You look at her and smile weakly, nodding your head yes, unable to produce words.
Your friend couldn't make it today, and you were debating whether to come on your own or not, but youâre so glad you pushed through the nerves and decided to enjoy it anyways. She is absolutely going to regret not having been here for this.
You watch as he continues to walk around the corridor, and you notice, despite trying to stay grounded, that he doesnât pass the mic to anyone else. Itâs so hard not to come to any conclusions, but you also know this is his job - youâre not the first fan he gave the mic to, and you certainly wonât be the last.
You focus on your breathing for a second, trying to calm your racing heart, before you dial back into the performance. Youâre here to watch them after all.
Hongjoong is behind the DJ booth again, jumping around and you let yourself enjoy it.
Shutter flashinâ on me
The strobe lights are blinding, making you feel lost in the sea of fans, and you let yourself get carried with their voices.
Fit so clean Iâm blessing lenses like a Sunday service
Your eyes are glued to him as his hips move in a hypnotising rhythm. All of a sudden heâs staring at you again.
She screamin' out my name
I got the girls feeling holy
You wish you were making this up in your head. Either youâve gone crazy, or this is the most fan service that ever fan serviced. This man just winked at you whilst singing this. Is he implying you would scream out his name? That he would make you feel holy?
You shake your head.
This has gone too far. It almost feels like youâre falling into a spiral of delusions and you need to claw your way out now, or you might get stuck in it.
ââââ
The rest of the concert goes off without a hitch, lest for a few pointing glances from a certain orange haired man, and youâre not sure if you should ignore them, or if youâre overthinking it and would come off as rude.
As incredible as this experience was, when the venue lights come back on, you breathe a sigh of relief. The fans emptying around you are giving you some physical and mental room to breathe, and you welcome it. Your friend is definitely never going to believe this.
You grab all your things, packing a handful of confetti in your bag and start making your way out when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn around to see security standing there, intimidating.
âMiss, were you standing over there?â He asks as he points to where you just were moments ago.
You nod, swallowing thickly with nerves. âYeah I was, why? Is it the confetti? âCause I saw everyone doing this, I thought it was allowedâŠâ
âIâm not here about the confetti, you can take as much as you want.â He motions towards the side of the stage. âCould you follow me? This will just take a minute.â
Confusion and intrigue battle inside your mind for a moment, the latter winning the fight.
You follow the broad shouldered man to a small curtain under the stage, where a woman awaits. She smiles at you before handing you a piece of paper.
âHe wanted you to have this.â She says, disappearing as soon as you grab the small white rectangle.
You unfold it slowly with trembling hands.
I trusted you with my mic, trust me with one night.
And below, a phone number.
Your eyes dart back to where the woman was but sheâs already long gone, and when you look to your side, so is the man who brought you here.
âIs this a joke?â You throw out, your voice much quieter than you wish it was, but with no one to answer you, you decide to give the number a try.
Your fingers shake as you dial the number. It rings a couple of times before the line crackles.
âHello?â
A beat, and then, âHello, Iâm glad to see you took my number.â
âIs this actually Kim Hongjoong? Is someone pranking me?â
âMeet me at the Hilton by the venue at 11.30pm. Room 613. And please, donât bother changing into anything else.â
âWhat? What do you m-â Your question gets cut off by the beep of the call being ended.
You blink at nothing, as if seeing better could help you make sense of this conversation.
It sure sounded like his voice, but there is no way an idol would actually call you, let alone invite you to his room. No, this is definitely a prank.
But then again, why would security go through all this trouble? Is it something they do every show to entertain themselves in some sadistic way, or were they just following instructions?
You look at the time.
10.47pm
Forty-three minutes until the mentioned meeting time.
Out of curiosity, you check the nearest Hilton location, finding out that itâs only a fifteen minute walk.
The venue is almost empty now, and you have no choice but to leave. As you approach the doors, you stare at the map in front of you. You can either turn right and go to the bus stop, or turn left and find out if this is real or some cruel joke - but neither option seems to be the right one. You look up and see a bar across the street, deciding to settle there for the time being.
ââââ
11.12pm
You havenât stopped checking the time since you sat down, sighing after every sip of your beer, unsure what to do.
On one hand, you could just go home and pretend this was just a fever dream. On the other hand⊠on the other hand, you could potentially have the most incredible experience of your life - if only you trusted in fate a little. You take the last swig of your drink, clanking it down on the table. Gathering your belongings, you step outside and look at your options one last time.
If I didnât want to go, why would I still be thinking about it?
That one thought is what settles it for you - your body pulls you to your right, the neon sign of the Hilton guiding your way as you feel a strange sensation in the pit of your stomach.
ââââ
When you reach the hotel entrance, it feels like the glowing sign is looking down at you, mocking you for believing Hongjoong actually wants you to meet him in his hotel room. You're frozen in place, unable to step foot inside, when your phone rings.
No caller ID
You hesitate but answer after a few rings.
"I can see you at the entrance, why aren't you coming in? It's cold."
You look around, checking for any sign of someone following you, but there is nothing, just the light traffic of hotel occupants coming and going.
"I'm in my room, you won't see me from down there."
Your head automatically tilts upwards, looking for someone in a window, but it's impossible to tell which one is his.
"Just come up before you turn into an icicle."
The call cuts before you can say anything.
Screw it. Maybe it's the beer talking, or maybe it's the exhaustion from having been on your feet all day, but you haven't come this far just to turn around.
You walk into the hotel, your first thought being to go to reception but you abstain - asking where an idol's room is won't exactly look great. Instead, you go to the nearest elevator and punch in the dial for the 6th floor. Logically, that's where he'll be.
The more floors you go past, the faster your heart beats. This is absolutely insane. The craziest, most unhinged thing you've ever done, but you're too close to finding out what's going on to turn back now.
The doors open with a ding and you jump at the sound. Stepping outside, slowly, you scan the doors for where to go.
607, 609, 611
There it is. Room 613.
You bring your fist up to knock when the door opens, and there he is.
In front of your eyes. Kim Hongjoong. You search his face for surprise at you being here, but there is none. Instead, he's smiling at you.
"I'm glad you made it."
No words come to you. It's like you're a toddler who has yet to produce her first words. You should really say something, a greeting, or maybe even smile, not look at him like a fish.
Nothing.
He chuckles and opens the door wider for you.
"Come in!"
The ice around your body slowly thaws and you find the ability to move your legs, one step at a time, until you're standing in the middle of his room, the door locking behind you.
You absolutely did not think this through. Your brain only took you as far as figuring out if this was real or a prank, it never actually put you through the scenarios of what to do should this actually be happening.
"Do you need anything? Have you eaten since the show?" He's already by the room phone, dialling reception.
You shake your head lightly. Now that he mentions it, you haven't really eaten all day.
"No."
He smiles. "She speaks! Alright, I'll order you some⊠fries? Burger? Salad? What do you want?" Your stomach rumbles as he lists the foods. "Saladâs fine.â
He raises an eyebrow at you when someone answers on the other line. "Hi, yes, I'd like to have some salad, fries and a burger brought up to room 613 please.â He looks at you from the corner of his eyes. âThrow in a brownie too." He turns to you. "You can eat whatever you want."
When he hangs up, he looks at you, scanning you, and you suddenly feel not just out of place, but tiny, insignificant. You're in the presence of this man who has thousands at his feet and has dominated industries, and you can't help but wonder why he asked you to come.
"You should sit down." He says, pulling a chair out for you.
You oblige, mindlessly, as if he was in control of your actions.
"What's your name?"
"Y/n." You whisper, realising that he has no idea who you are.
He smiles, a genuine, happy smile. "I'm Hongjoong, nice to meet you."
He extends his hand and you stare at it for a moment before grabbing it. The contact of his skin sends a current of electricity coursing through your veins and you tense.
"I know." You say, a little snarky. "I kind of just went to your concert." He bursts out in a laugh that surprises you, but it pulls a shy smile out of you.
"I suppose that's fair." He waits for a moment. "I'm sorry for all the theatrics, I feel like I made this whole thing more cryptic than it needed to be."
"Just a tad." You say, scratching your neck. "I didn't know if it was real or a prank. I'm still not sureâŠâ You chuckle.
For the first time since you arrived, you take a quick scan of the room. You've seen their hotel rooms on lives, but being in it feels different. It feels... mundane. Banal. Just another hotel room, much like the ones you've stayed in before - although perhaps bigger. His things are packed neatly in a little corner, his DJ pad sitting on the nightstand, as if he had been practicing until your arrival.
He tracks your eyes to the small machine.
"You want me to show you?"
He's already up and walking to pick it up, making you notice his outfit, which you hadn't paid any mind to when you got here.
He's wearing a loose white t-shirt, his tattoo peaking through the sleeve, and a pair of grey sweats. His makeup is gone and his hair looks freshly washed.
You look down at yourself and can't help but feel a little gross. You've been sweating, standing, amongst thousands of people, and you look completely out of place. Instinctively, your arms cross over your chest, too aware of how revealing your top is - the halter neck corset not doing much to hide certain parts of you.
When he turns around, DJ pad in hand, he notices your posture has changed, and it feels like all of a sudden the air changes too.
He burrows his eyes into yours.
"You don't need to do that. You look nice. Actually, you look beautiful." His voice is soft but commanding.
You want to uncross your arms, but the blush is creeping to the surface of your skin now, and you feel even more aware of the situation. He takes a slow step towards you.
"Why do you think I told you not to change?"
You open your mouth to respond but a knock on the door interrupts you before you can.
Room service might have just saved you from getting yourself into a situation you shouldn't be in with how this was going.
You look towards the door and notice Hongjoong only has it open enough to take the tray from the hotel worker, not enough to let them see you in here. It makes you realise that no one knows where you are, and it brings both a slight fear and an intriguing flash of excitement through you.
The smell of the food hits your nose as soon as the door is closed and your stomach protests at the lack of attention you've given it today.
"Food's here!" He puts the tray down on the table and sits down in front of you, but you don't move. "I was serious earlier. Have what you want. As much or as little as you want."
You look at the array of delicious looking plates before you, your mouth salivating, but you can't quite bring yourself to touch any of it.
"That's so much... I can't."
"Yes, you can. I ordered it for you."
"But.." You're not sure how to phrase it. "You paid for it..."
He scoffs. "So? You think this is what's gonna ruin me? Y/n, eat." He's serious now, and you don't want to make him mad or seem disrespectful, so you tentatively grab a french fry.
When it hits your tongue, the salt makes you instantly close your eyes and hum in contentment.
He observes you, the small sound you just made going straight to his head. He was right to make you come here - there was no other way he could get you out of his system.
When you reopen your eyes, you catch him staring at you, unabashedly, and you fold into yourself a little, embarrassed.
"Sorry..."
"For what? I'm glad you're enjoying the food."
His smile is sincere, but the intensity of his gaze is unsettling. Still, you continue to pick at the fries, taking a bite of the burger here and there. It may not be the most ladylike thing, but your care slowly goes out the window the more you eat.
He watches you for what feels like hours before speaking.
"Is there anything you wanna know?"
The question takes you by surprise and you stop mid chew. Yes, there are so many things you're burning to find out, but you have no idea where to begin.
"Are you not tired?"
He chuckles at your question, probably expecting something completely different. "Aren't you?"
"A little.â You shrug. âThe food is helping though."
"I'm the same. I usually go to bed much later anyways, so this is nothing a little food can't fix." He says as he pops a fry in his mouth.
You smile at him, a genuine smile for the first time since youâve arrived. It makes you feel a little better that heâs eating too and is so relaxed about all of this. You gain a bit of confidence to ask another question.
âWhatâs it like performing the same songs over and over again, do you ever get bored?â
He grins at your interest in his job. âIt depends. Itâs repetitive, but I love performing, and every performance is different. The crowds, the venues, the purpose, the energy. It gives the song a new feel every time. So for the most part, Iâd say⊠no.â
Youâre completely entranced by his words, drinking in every single thing he says. Your questions keep flowing as you get more comfortable - about his job, his career, his life. You canât stop finding new questions to ask him, although youâre careful not to tread on ones that would seem too personal. After all, you have to remind yourself youâre in the presence of an idol, and although he invited you here, he still probably doesnât want to divulge every aspect of his life to you.
He keeps answering everything without hesitating, but one thing is burning at the tip of your tongue.
âI have another question, but⊠Iâm not sure I should.â
Curiosity sparks inside him and he stands straighter, expectant.
You clear your throat. âDo you, umm⊠do you do this often?â
He knows what you mean but he wants you to say it out loud. âDo what?â
Your cheeks heat up. âInvite women⊠fansâŠup. Here. To your room.â
âNo.â
The one word answer is simple and clear, and it makes the air feel like it suddenly weighs a half ton more. Your breathing grows a little quicker at the revelation. This somehow feels like an incredible amount of pressure, but would it have made you feel better if he said yes?
âOhâŠâ The word comes out breathless, almost inaudible.
His eyes drop to your outfit and you feel like shrinking into your seat, but his presence pins you into place.
âI saw you yesterday, you know? You were wearing your hair up, and your top was like our cowboy outfit from last tour.â
The revelation knocks the air out of you. How is it possible that he noticed you when you were multiple rows away from barricade?
âActually, I had to avoid the front as much as possible. You distracted me, and I almost missed my cue during Lemon Drop. Thatâs the first time itâs happened. I was pretty flustered after that. Took me a few minutes to lock back in, but I could feel you staring at me the whole time.â
âI had no idea, sorryâŠâ
He laughs a little. âWhat are you apologising for? You werenât doing anything wrong.â
âStill, I⊠I donât know. I didnât mean to distract you.â
He nods. âI know. It just happened. And I thought Iâd be fine today, honestly. Actually, I was relieved when I didnât see you at first. But then, when I spotted you on my right, it felt like a sign. Thatâs where Iâd been coming yesterday - but you obviously knew that. Thatâs why you came, isnât it.â
His last sentence isnât a question - itâs a statement. If he told you he could read minds you wouldnât be surprised.
Of course you knew, and of course you werenât gonna miss that chance.
You hadnât realised until now, but heâs been inching closer and closer to you, leaning on the edge of his chair.
Your brain manages to form the words youâve been itching to ask. âWhy me?â
He leans back a little, rubbing a hand over his face. âHonestly? I have no idea. I wish I had a clear answer, but I donât. Thereâs a lot of beautiful fans every night, and without sounding mean, thereâs nothing inherently different about you.â He pauses for a second, leaning his elbows on his knees. You can almost feel his breath fanning your face. âExcept that I couldnât get you out of my head. I needed to be close to you. Talk to you. Hear your voice. Get to know you. Get you out of my system by any means necessary.â
His proximity and his words make your head spin. âThe beer was a bad idea.â You mutter as you feel your face flush, your breathing growing erratic.
He stands up suddenly, grabbing a glass of water and handing it to you.
âHydrate.â
You take it with shaky hands and drink slowly, focusing on calming yourself, instead of his overbearing presence next to you, worry written in the furrow of his brow.
He watches you closely, checking any sign that you arenât well, his gaze automatically dropping to your chest. His angle gives him the perfect view of it rising and falling, reminding him just why he had to get you up here.
Feeling the cold water flowing down your throat helps calm you a little, and you put the glass down. He's still staring at you, observing you.
You look up at him from under your lashes and his stomach flips at the sight, when he sees a drop of water glide past your lip. Without thinking, he wipes it with his thumb, cupping your face in his warm hand, and you freeze.
He doesn't pull away. He wants to see if you will - if you'll hesitate or feel discomfort. Instead, your fingertips find his wrist, laying on it, as if trying to see if he's real. His perfume hits your nose and your eyelids flutter as the scent flows through you.
You feel the blood coursing through his veins, his slightly elevated pulse, and somehow, that grounds you - you realise you're not the only one affected by this situation.
Slowly, he kneels down, eye level with you. You can't look away. It feels like he's gravity pulling you into him.
Your eyes flicker between his eyes and his lips, so perfect and pink, and without realising it, you're inching closer to him. He can feel your breath on his face and his heartbeat stutters, jaw ticking from the effort of restraining himself.
When you realise what you're doing, you pull back sharply, looking down, ashamed at your lack of control.
He hates that. He hates that you won't come closer, hates that you won't let yourself do what he knows you want to do.
He can't take the distance anymore, and, using the hand that's cradling your face, pulls you into him.
The moment your lips touch it feels like time stops, your brain short-circuits. It takes you a few seconds to understand what's happening, but when you do, your body melts into his without question, your fingers weaving through his hair.
The feeling is so foreign. This isnât your first kiss, but it might as well be. Every nerve is firing signals into your brain, not knowing what to focus on.
Your back arches to try and get closer to him, your breath mingling with his, your hands tugging at his roots to try and keep you steady.
Hongjoong isnât much more controlled, the hand that was on your face is holding on to you like heâs scared youâll disappear, whilst his other is lingering on the small of your back, trying to pull you even closer to him.
The feeling of his fingers on your bare skin sends a shiver through you, a tiny whimper coming out of you that travels straight to the pit of his stomach.
Despite having snacked on fries, you notice his breath smells of peppermint, whilst his skin seems to cast the woody smell of his perfume with every beat of his heart.
He hums quietly into you, and your fingers tighten around his hair and the collar of his shirt, whateverâs in reach. The gesture makes him growl, and his brows draw together as your presence consumes him.
You pull back a little, trying to catch your breath, and he leans his forehead against yours.
The distance helps your brain clear up, the situation becoming unmistakable with every passing heartbeat. When you look at him again, it's like it finally clicks in your head.
You throw yourself back in your seat, hands clasped against your mouth, eyes wide. A thousand thoughts race through your head.
This is wrong.
You stand up, overwhelmed, and start pacing around the room.
âWhat the fuck did I just do?â
âI shouldnât have done this!â
âNo no no no noâŠâ
âIâve just fucked my life up forever.â
Everything comes out of your mouth at once as you burn circles on the carpet, gnawing at your thumb. Your eyes are welling up at the importance and gravity of the situation.
He stands up slowly, chest heaving, eyes unable to detach from your curves, his brain stuck on the taste of your lips.
"Y/n?" he calls softly, but you don't hear him amongst the turmoil in your brain.
"Oh god and his reputation."
âPeople will know!â
"He's an idol y/n, what were you thinking?!"
He approaches you tentatively. "Y/n!"
But you still can't hear him, too lost to let the outside world in. You're spiralling - hard.
Suddenly you're whipped around, his hand firmly holding your elbow, facing him. His palm scorches your skin as every nerve ending reacts to his proximity.
"Just shut up and kiss me." He exhales, breathless, pleading eyes piercing into yours.
His mouth crashes into you again before your brain can register anything.
The kiss is more desperate this time, his need mirrored in the ache building in your chest. Your knees buck slightly at the overwhelming nature of the situation, but his hand quickly grabs your waist, pulling you further into him.
He's not letting you go anytime soon.
Your breathing grows heavier as his hand weaves itself in your hair and he caresses your cheek with his thumb. Every move he does puts you deeper in the trance of his touch.
His tongue swipes across your bottom lip in a silent request to be let in. You hesitate - a beat too long. He tugs at your hair, making you moan, and takes that opportunity to slide into your mouth, exploring it lazily, tasting you.
The rational part of you wants to stop him - this is wrong on so many levels. But that part is losing control with every kiss, relinquishing it over to him, barely putting up a fight.
Without you realising it, heâs walked back into the bed, the back of his knees hitting the edge of the mattress.
He lifts you up a little as he sits you both down, letting you straddle him on both sides. The position is incredibly intimate, sitting on top of him exactly where you can feel what heâs thinking and feeling - and right now, the evidence is⊠big. You can feel him growing under you second by second.
Both of your hands are holding his face now, like you canât believe heâs real - which you still canât -, your hair falling around your faces, as if caging you in from the outside world. His hand on your waist moves up your back, slowly, exploring every inch of exposed skin. Your back arches in the wake of his touch, and you canât help the string of moans and whimpers flowing out of you.
He loves it - canât help the way his mouth curves at every tiny, breathy sound you make.
The kisses become sloppier as time passes, desperation and need clawing at both your insides.
When he reaches the top of your back, his hands start exploring your arms, slowly, like heâs memorising every inch of you, and it leaves goosebumps across your skin.
His lips leave yours to trail down to your jaw. You welcome the break, but itâs short lived as he starts nibbling at your pulse, addicted to how frantic it is under his touch. He moves down to your collarbone as his hands trail back up to your shoulders, and you moan.
âPlease just let me touch you sweetheart.â He whimpers between wet kisses. Heâs desperate, on edge. âPleaseâŠâ
You nod your head weakly, a barely perceptible âyesâ passing your lips.
Tentatively, his hands move down to your breasts, still covered by your corset, squeezing them.
âFuckâ he groans against your skin, trailing his lips back up your neck.
Your breath catches in your throat at the feel of his hands on you, and you throw your head back, bracing your hands on his knees. He wasnât expecting this, his legs jerking at your touch.
When he jerks, his hips push into your core a little. Not much, but just enough to feel it through your jeans, and you choke.
The feel of his painfully hard cock against you - and the sounds you make - makes him want more. He rolls his hips into you again, and the way youâre feeling him on you everywhere makes you breathe a high pitched cry.
He needs to hear you do that again, rolling his hips just a fraction, over, and over, chasing your sounds more than his own pleasure.
His self control is slipping. Fast.
His fingers find the knot holding your corset together at the front and he starts undoing it, loosening the ribbons inch by inch. The more you feel your skin breathe, the more flushed and out of breath you get. You donât know how much he can see, and part of you doesnât want to find out, but you donât want to stop him either.
Not anymore.
Not when the slightest graze of his skin against yours sends electricity shooting through you. Not when he adorns your neck with another gentle yet needy kiss. Not when you feel him pressing into your cunt like that, the wet patch growing in your underwear.
And even if you told him to stop, he doesnât know that he could.
Heâs been fantasising about this since he first saw you yesterday - the way your sweat glistened as it fell down your cleavage, the way your tits would feel in his hands, how sweet theyâd taste in his mouth, even how your body would react when heâd brush his thumbs over your nipples.
He jerked himself off so hard last night, thinking about it all, he almost blacked out.
Finally, heâs loosened the corset enough to pry it open, revealing your already hard peaks. He grunts at the sight, certain he could burst right now.
As he lowers his head slowly, you can feel his hot, humid breath on your skin, clinging to the film of sweat covering you from the anticipation. Your eyes are still closed, your head thrown back - you have no idea what heâs doing, and that excites you so much.
You forget to breathe when his lips wrap around one of your nipples. His teeth graze against it and you whimper his name.
His head is spinning, as if you were his poison and he was tapping straight in the vein.
âSay my name sweetheart, I love hearing you whimper itâ heâs almost growling the words out, primal instincts taking over.
You finally look back down at him. Your brain canât quite comprehend what itâs seeing, but thereâs no pretending this isnât happening anymore. With the way heâs drinking you in, that line is so far behind you itâs invisible - you left it as soon as you entered the room.
He sucks your other peak, a little harder this time, and you wince, gripping his hair as a reflex.
âStop squirming.â He grunts.
And with that, he grabs your waist and neck and flips you down onto the bed, pinning you down with his legs so you stop wriggling at his touch.
The sudden shift in attitude and position knocks the wind out of you as you land on the mattress - his move wasnât harsh, his hand on your neck softening the blow, but it takes you completely by surprise.
Heâs now towering over you - imposing.
Heâs weaved his legs over yours in a way that has you completely pinned, his hands firmly on the mattress beside your head. He looks down at you, orange strands framing his face as he hovers over you, a chain appearing from under his shirt. It dangles between the two of you like a silent promise, one you reach out to grab with no hesitation, pulling him to you.
He smirks.
He knows youâve completely released your inhibitions - youâre not fighting it anymore, youâve accepted it. Accepted the fact that this was somehow inevitable, that there was no other possible way to break the tension between the two of you than with this.
His hand brushes over your partially exposed tits, making you shiver, and trails down towards the waistband of your jeans. Your muscles contract at his touch and you bite your lip in anticipation.
He doesnât stop there though. His hand continues lower, until it reaches that point between your legs.
You whimper. Youâve definitely started soaking through the fabric with how much he rubbed against you earlier, and he can feel it.
âFuck y/n, youâre so wet alreadyâŠâ
He rubs a little, fascinated by your bodyâs natural response to him.
âNeed⊠ahâŠâ you stutter.
âI know.â
Simple. Factual. Effortlessly confident.
Still looking into your eyes, he unbuttons your jeans with one hand, sliding the zipper down so agonisingly slow.
You pull on his chain a little harder, signaling him that you need him to be quicker, but he ignores you. He wants to savour this.
When he peels away your jeans, he notices your red lace panties.
âPlanning ahead, were we?â He drawls, eyebrow raised.
âA girlâs go-otta hope.â
He chuckles, low. âIâm glad.â
Getting rid of your jeans leaves you with nothing but your underwear and the corset, now hanging on by a literal thread. Itâs exhilarating and unfair.
âYour turn.â
You pull at his collar before he knows whatâs happening. He finishes it off, pulling it over his head and discarding it somewhere off the bed.
Your eyes are glued to him as you rub your hands over his soft skin. His abs are peaking through his flat stomach, slight definition appearing over each muscle you touch.
He lets you explore, watching your every move as your fingers make their way to his surprisingly toned chest.
ââs that what you were hoping for?â
You bite your lip, throat dry. âBetter.â
He drops his lips to yours again, kissing you feverishly as his hand lightly rubs against the wet spot between your legs. You whimper in his mouth, rolling your hips to get more friction.
You donât have to tell him twice.
His hand slides into your underwear, coming skin to skin with your clit and you gasp. He starts rubbing a little harder, pulling away from your lips to see the way your eyes roll back and your mouth hangs open.
His own mouth mimics you, completely possessed by you and your body, as he watches your every reaction.
Your chest starts to flush from the sensation and his eyes jump down to watch, fascinated. He drops his head lower, kissing your tits again, and you weave your fingers through his hair to keep him there.
The tugging on his roots sends jolts of pleasure straight to his cock and he slips a finger inside your dripping cunt. Your back arches instantly, offering him an even better angle to relish in your tits, and he couldnât be happier.
âYouâre gonna kill me before I can fuck you y/nâŠâ he mutters into you as he slides his finger in and out, getting off on the sloppy sounds of your arousal.
You grab his chin, tilting it up so his eyes meet yours.
âNot y-yet. Wannâ taste you.â
You can see the way his eyes grow darker as another wave of lust hits him.
He sits up on his knees, pulling you by the wrists.
âIâm all yours sweetheart.â
With that, he leans against the headboard, arms behind his head, so incredibly cocky you want to kiss him.
You go to take off his joggers but he stops you.
âTake that off first.â He says, nodding to your corset. You look down, blushing a little when you see how messy it all looks - half removed threads, and tits completely out.
You stare into his eyes as you continue untying it, slowly, painfully. Normally, youâd just open the zipper in the back and slip it off, but whatâs the fun in that when you can do this instead and watch how his jaw ticks from how fucking good you look right now.
When youâve finally freed yourself from it, tossing it somewhere far from your perfect bubble, you look at him with overly pleading eyes.
âNow can I?â
He bites his lip and nods, a little desperation peaking through.
Your fingertips slip under his waistband but you hesitate for a fraction of a second. This is huge. Like, youâre about to see him fully naked. Your stomach jumps and you smile, licking your lips.
Finally finding the courage to do it, you shimmy his joggers down, carefully, only to find out heâs not wearing any boxers, his cock jumping up as soon as you free it.
You look at him, mouth a little agape, and he snickers.
âYou werenât the only one with your hopes up.â
You werenât ready for this. Sure, every fan likes to imagine their idol is well equipped, but you didnât think heâd be this⊠packed.
You donât move for a second, taking it all in, wondering how youâre gonna fit him in your salivating mouth. The length isnât so much the problem, itâs the girth. How in the world will your mouth be wide enough?
âYou wanted it sweetheart, now go for it.â
A tiny spark of defiance ignites inside of you.
You brace yourself as you lower your face, not breaking eye contact, and making sure your ass wiggles a little as you adjust your position. He gave you a show tonight, itâs time you return the favour.
You place your hand around the base of his shaft and he twitches. Tentatively, you start sliding it up and down, getting a feel for him and he grunts, keeping his eyes locked onto you.
Unable to hold yourself back any longer, you flatten your tongue to glide up the underside of his length. You never thought youâd say this about anyone, but gosh he tastes so good.
He tenses again and a bead of precum surfaces at his tip, which you lap up excitedly, before finally taking him in. You choke a little at first, but you quickly relax, taking as much enjoyment in this as possible.
You continue bobbing up and down as he watches you, mesmerised.
One of his hands unfolds from behind his head and comes behind yours, guiding you.
âYeah, just like that.â He pants.
Youâre welling up now from the depth his hand is making you take him, but feeling how taut his body is and hearing his tiny noises as he holds himself back makes your confidence and pleasure grow.
You come up for air for a moment, and when you look at him, the sight of your swollen, glossing lips and the single tear streak running down your cheek makes his heart skip a beat, though he tries his best to ignore it.
âCâme here.â
He pulls you to his chest, smashing his lips onto yours. You find it so hot that he doesnât care about tasting himself on your mouth. You pull away almost instantly, desperate to feel and taste his skin as you trace his neck and torso with your lips and tongue.
Boldness has taken over you, and you welcome the sudden shift in power. His chest is rising and falling quickly now, helpless. You bite him a little on the shoulder, not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to make him jolt.
âYou canât do that sweetheartâŠâ
You pout a little and he caresses your spine, soothing you.
âI know Iâm sorry.â
As an apology, you linger on the spot, kissing it softly, before resuming your path down his chest and stomach. When you get low enough, you grab his cock once more, resuming your previous work, but he unexpectedly flips you over.
You stare at him in shock as he removes the hair from your face and kisses you.
âI told you I didnât wanna come before fucking you.â
His words send a fresh wave of heat flooding your core and your cunt. You bite your lip hard as he pulls down your panties, removing the final concrete barrier between the two of you.
He kneels down between your legs and buries his face in without hesitation, very differently to how you went about things just minutes ago, and you know well and truly that your moment of dominance is over. Because with the way heâs eating you out right now, youâd stop breathing if he just asked you to.
His tongue laps up your juices, not letting a single drop go, his nose rubbing against your clit with every move.
âHongjoong, yes, right - ah, right there.â You whimper.
You know he loves hearing you say his name, and it undoes that last bit of restraint as he stands up from the bed and starts rummaging through his bag.
âWhat are you doing?â You pant, empty from his loss.
âCondom.â He says as he rummages frantically through the contents. âFuck!â He mutters under his breath.
You sit up. âPull out.â He looks at you, unsure. âIâm on the pill. I promise.â
Youâre desperate now. He canât leave you high and dry like that.
After a second to consider his options, he crawls back on the bed and grabs your face.
âFuck it.â He mumbles.
Relief flows through you as his fingers find your cunt again, diving knuckle deep to make sure youâre ready - as if you could be anything but after everything.
When you finally are, he pushes your back down, lifting your hips to place a pillow under you.
âRelax for me sweetheart.â
Your heart is racing as he lines himself up, and when he pushes in, despite being slow and careful, you canât help your breathing from stopping. The stretch burns, but it burns oh so good.
He places a kiss on your cleavage as he continues pushing in, the act proving challenging for him too. âBreathe, y/n, breathe.â
Just as before, your body obeys him without thinking and your lungs start working again as you gasp for air, just as he finally bottoms out.
âYouâre so fucking tightâŠâ
âYouâre to-o big.â You whimper, making him chuckle.
Fuck he canât get enough of you, which is the complete opposite of what he wanted this night to be, but he canât stop. You feel too good - your smell, your taste, your sounds, your body, your skin, everything. He canât get enough.
He starts thrusting into you without warning and you shriek.
You donât know how, but heâs already hitting that perfect spot inside of you from the first go. Your eyes roll back and your jaw slacks as he continues pounding.
He stares at you - no, more like admires you, and with every thrust, he tries to take you farther.
His cock isnât enough. Seeing your tits bounce like that makes him hungrier still, and he starts nipping at them again with his teeth, whilst one of his hands finds your throat. A chill runs down his back at the change of pitch in your voice from the sudden drop in oxygen, but the smile on your face tells him youâre just as into it as he is.
âYouâre slutty arenât you sweetheart?â
You nod a little, not even sure what youâre nodding to, just automatically responding to him.
âHowâs that feel then?â He asks as his other hand finds the space between your two bodies and starts abusing your bundle of nerves once again.
You gasp.
How can he be everywhere all at once? Your brain doesnât know what to focus on, each thrust knocking the wind out of you whilst his teeth remind you whoâs inflicting this on you.
âHongjoong - canât, stop, please.â You cry out on the verge of breaking.
He would, he really would, if he wasnât hearing your every moan and feeling every squeeze of your cunt around him.
âYes you can sweetheart. Câme on. Take it for me. Just a lilâ more.â He whispers as he increases the friction on your clit, tightening around your throat a little.
You try so hard to do what he says because your body only responds to him now. Your shrieks and whimpers are growing increasingly louder the more he consumes you, but you donât say anything, just biting your lip and fisting the sheets.
âThatâs it, such a good girl fâr me. Look how well you take my cock.â He groans.
Itâs all becoming too much.
With one hand on your throat, the other rubbing your clit with painful speed, his mouth sucking and biting your tits, his cock buried so deep inside you from the pillow under your hips, and his intoxicating praises, you start screaming.
His hand flies to your mouth.
âYou gotta keep quiet.â A grunt. âSeonghwa and Yunho âre next door - donât want âem disturbing us.â He smirks. âWouldnât want anyone ân live hearing you, would you sweetheart?â
This is the final straw for you. The pleasure is immense but the pressure of keeping quiet when heâs filling you up like that makes you cry. Hot tears stream down your face as you whimper strangled cries with every thrust.
For some weird reason, seeing you cry makes him want you more. He doesnât want to hurt you, but he does want to see how much more your body can take, captivated by every response you give.
His pace increases, the slapping of skin on skin filling the room. Youâre trying to keep quiet, but you wonder if the others can just hear the movements as the bed starts rattling against the wall.
You feel the pillow under your head become more humid as your tears make a growing pool. Itâs so confusing that youâre reacting this way when youâve never felt more pleasure.
He grunts more and more against your skin from the effort of his rhythm, biting you a little harder than before - you squeal. He wasnât even trying to, but heâs now branded your skin with an array of bite marks and fast evolving hickeys. You find the irony of not being able to do the same unfair.
Heâs getting close to release, but heâs not ready to stop.
He kisses your lips sloppily, brain foggy as he tries to hold himself. His moans are getting more intense and itâs driving you insane how good he sounds.
âTurn around.â
His order is followed by him pulling out of you momentarily, flipping you on your stomach, adjusting the pillow under your hips, and plunging straight back into you.
You start screaming again, but this time he can just push your head into the soaked pillow. You donât even fight him. You canât. Heâs hitting that spongy spot inside of you even harder than before and youâre starting to see stars, fingers and toes beginning to tingle as you go numb from pleasure.
His other hand comes under you to continue playing with your tits, his obsession nowhere near satiated. He kisses and bites your shoulders and back as he goes, the pounding becoming too much to handle even for him.
ââre you gonnâ cum sweetheart? Can you do that fâr me?â He moans against your neck.
You barely have the energy to do it but you whimper a âyesâ in the pillow.
âSay my name - y-yes who.â
âYes Hong - fuck, ngh - Hongjoong.â
âThen cum.â
As if his request gave you permission, you explode around him, the wave of your orgasm consuming you entirely. He tries his best to muffle your screams in the pillow, but it can only do so much when you have no strength left in you to keep quiet.
The way your walls squeeze around him tips him over the edge too and he pulls out quickly, just in time to spurt out on your back, the hot liquid painting your skin with white. He canât help himself either, his moans and whimpers mingling with yours.
It takes him a few seconds to register the situation again, the high lingering in his body.
When he comes down from it, he stands up from the bed slowly, heading to the bathroom. He comes back with a towel and some water, cleaning your back gently, the complete opposite to the unrelenting man who just wrecked you.
âHave some water.â He says, rubbing your back.
You donât move though. You canât. Not yet. The feeling is slowly coming back to your limbs and your heart is fighting to slow down.
âY/n?â You can hear the worry in his voice at your lack of response. âHey, are you okay?â Heâs shaking your shoulder a little.
âMmh.â You mumble into the pillow, the only thing you can say.
He breathes a sigh of relief. âGod, donât do this to me, I thought youâd passed out.â
âSârry.â You babble.
Aware youâre not fully back to yourself, he helps you turn onto your back, sitting you up against the headboard.
He puts his joggers back on and lays a blanket on you as you start to shiver, before coming back with the brownie you never ate. You take it gratefully, splitting it in two and handing him the other half.
âI think Iâm exhausted.â You chuckle lightly.
He laughs. âIâll take that as a compliment.â
You look at him sheepishly. âIt is. A big one.â
He moves a strand of hair stuck to your forehead from sweat, and you take a moment to just look at each other. Itâs such a bizarre situation to be in, but the nerves you had earlier are gone. This was by far the singular best experience of your life.
âDonât worry.â You say. âI wonât tell anyone.â
He blushes and your heart jumps a little at the sight. âSorry about thatâŠâ
âItâs okay, you didnât force me to do this, I knew what it meant.â
âWell,â he hesitates, âfor what itâs worth, Iâm really glad you came. Literally and metaphorically.â
You chuckle as your cheeks heat up.
âMaybe it was a horrible idea in the long run,â he continues, âbecause I donât know how Iâll be able to get you out of my head now.â
âI thought that was the whole pointâŠâ
A part of you wishes heâd say he wants you to stay, that he wants more, but you know that canât happen.
âIt was. The irony, huh?â
He gets up. âYouâre gonna be okay if I leave you for a second?â He says, pointing to the bathroom.
You nod. âOf course, do what you have to do.â
As soon as the door shuts, you sigh.
Unknowingly, a small tear rolls down your cheek, the weight of the night finally dawning on you. Youâve never felt more connected to anyone in your life, and the knowledge that it has to end makes your chest pang. Knowing youâll have to watch him from afar from now on, after what just happened, breaks your heart - but you know thatâs how it has to be.
You rummage around the room, finding your scattered clothes, covering yourself back up. Moving is painful, your body protesting, but you push through. Youâre hesitating on whether to leave without saying goodbye or not, when he comes out, sooner than you expected.
âWhat are you doing?â He quizzes as he catches you in the middle of zipping up your jeans.
âGoing home?â Your answer is more of a question, like youâre asking him for permission.
âNo youâre not.â He says sternly as he pulls out his phone. âItâs past 3am, youâve had a drink, itâs cold, youâre not exactly dressed safely for public transports, and most importantly youâre exhausted. You said so yourself.â
âBut-â
âThis isnât up for debate y/n. Youâre staying here tonight.â His tone softens. âYou donât need to worry - Iâll call you a taxi in the morning, on me. And feel free to stay here as long as youâd like, Iâll pay for an extra night if you need, and anything you order will go on my card. Just⊠please, donât leave.â
His pleading eyes win you over, and you try not to focus on how your stomach flips at how caring he is.
âOkay but⊠I donât have anythingâŠâ you say, pointing to your outfit. âAlso I have no makeup remover, o-or even a toothbrush!â
He walks towards his suitcase, pulling out a t-shirt and shorts.
âI think this should be comfortable enough to sleep in.â He says as he hands them to you. âAs for the toothbrush and makeup remover, sweetheart, Iâm an idol. I probably have more skincare than you.â He smirks. âJust tell me what you need and Iâll get it.â
âââââ-
Itâs been two weeks, almost to the day, since your wild night with the captain of ATEEZ, and you think about it - about him - every day. Youâve not been able to look at footage of the new shows despite wanting to so badly, because the first time you saw him pass the mic in the crowd, you felt like crying, and you couldnât explain why to anyone.
You never expected to feel such a pull to him after just one night, but heâs really made his mark on you - you still have the slight remnants of one or two deep hickeys to prove it.
To make matters worse, you still have his number.
You check it, multiple times a day, fingers hovering over the keys. Ultimately, you always end up locking your phone and throwing it away from you, sighing into your hands. You know you canât, despite how much you want to.
Plus, heâs probably deleted your number by now.
As for him, the shows havenât felt the same. Every night he checks the crowd, hoping he can spot you, miraculously, but youâre not there. He knows itâs not fair to expect you to come, especially when nothing was implied about following up the night. Itâs not realistic, he knows that. His life is too busy, thereâs no way it could work.
Still.
He opens his phone, the short conversation staring back at him.
Heâs hesitated a few times already, knowing how horrible this idea is. Itâs like two forces are pulling at him: his head - the rational part of him who knows this is wrong and would never work -, and his heart - the part of him thatâs desperate to see you, just one more time.
Youâre brushing your teeth, ignoring the notifications from your friends about tonightâs show highlights, when your phone lights up again. You look at it, sighing at the social media notifications of the concert.
In his room, Hongjoongâs heart sinks as the conversation now reads:
!â Hey
Not delivered
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Like what you read and want your own story? Check out my pinned post for a link to my commissions form!
summary:Â you didn't mean to actually meet the man who's audio porn was single handedly getting you off every night, but you do.
note:Â this has been a looooong time coming and is dedicated to one of my best friends, grace. đ i hope everyone enjoys this chaotic smut fest.... also i've recently discovered that porn is actually illegal to produce or consume in korea? so suspend your disbelief for this fic lol
warnings: camboy!yeosang/barista!yeosang x fem!reader, it's a smut-a-thon barely a plot in sight featuring - nsfw/audio porn, guided masturbation, female masturbation, male masturbation, lots and lots of orgasms, use of dildo, nipple play, one night stand dynamics except they kind of fall for each other, big and i mean big dick yeosang, oral sex (f receiving), gratuitous squirting, fingering, thigh riding/grinding, protected and unprotected sex (do not do this they're being hella dumb), rough sex, maaaaaajor praise play he says good girl more times than i can count, so much use of 'baby', plus pretty girl/babygirl, absolute pleasure soft dom yeosang of our dreams, reader literally passes out from coming you're welcome
pairings:Â yeosang x reader
genre:Â smut and more smut, where's the plot???
word count:Â 14.5K
additional note: yeosang owns a cafe in this fic called ongozisin, it's a real cafe in seoul and you can check out their ig here! the vibes are truly so yeosang i can't even articulate it, so i just wanted to share this for the extra visual!
Paid porn for women has tiers. You stumble headfirst into this realization with your fingers stuffed inside yourself and your body slick with sweat, and thereâs nothing that takes you right out of your frantic self care session than a request for your credit card number and a terms of service page.Â
Your chest is heaving, legs shaking, and you feel your orgasm slip right through your fingers as you skim over his Fansly page. You should have just skipped to another one of his free audios on Pornhub like you always do, but this week was long and stressful and slightly emotionally fraught, and thereâs only so many times you can ignore his husky little ad at the end of the audio file inviting you to check out the full, uncut content.Â
âJesus,â You breathe, pushing yourself up in the bed and letting your phone drop to the side as you recover your breath.Â
Are you really going to do this? Are you really going to pay for porn? The internet is full of it, spilling over from every angle with any little thing you can imagine. Thereâs a reason Rule 34 exists, people are horny and people love attention, so if you can fathom it thereâs free porn of it.Â
And yet, nothing ever, ever gets you there like he does, and youâve never even seen his face.Â
You glance down at your phone again and you see his familiar header image, a deeply contrasted black and white header of tangled white sheets, and his username striking across the corner in neon green. fromryu. This is what drew you in initially, the simplicity of it all. You were sick of skimming through all of the men making porn for women with names like âTheMasterDominantâ, âYour_Daddyâ, or âforherpleasureeeâ and then just listening to them groan in your ear and call you a slut for fifteen minutes. That might work for some, but it definitely doesnât work for you.Â
Ryu was different, is different. His audios are a mix of scenario based role-plays and straight forward guided masturbation for women, and youâre pretty sure he comes right along with you when you listen, but itâs just not the same.
Youâve fucked yourself to every single one of his free audios. Some of them more than once, some of them several times, if youâre being honest. Youâve always ignored his ads, because he gives so much content away for free you canât imagine what would be behind a paywall that would get you off harder, until today.Â
Your brain just couldnât get there. Youâve heard him chuckle that chuckle before, say that line before, coax you into orgasm with those exact words before, and you need more.Â
Your credit card is firmly in your hand before you can give it another thought, and with a fluttering stomach you tuck yourself into a robe and back into bed to pick a tier. With a long sip of a fresh glass of wine you lean back in your pillows and read through his welcome page.Â
His tiers make you smirk, heâs funny.
Third base, full uncut audios and one special audio per month just for subscribers â $4.99/month
Just the tip, uncut audios, one special audio per month, and access to a private discord server where subscribers can make audio request submissions â $9.99/month
Every inch (and more), uncut audios, exclusive audios, access to discord, exclusive video content, and access to a private Snapchat - $24.99/month
In for a penny, in for a pound, you guess.Â
You click on âEvery inch (and more)â and plug in your card numbers before you have a second to rethink your decision. You really hope you donât get hit with a fraud alert that you have to explain to some poor customer service representative.Â
The wheel spins, the charge goes through, and suddenly youâre in. Your mouth has never been so dry.Â
Thereâs dozens of videos, dozens. For every audio youâve listened to on Pornhub, thereâs a video that goes with it, and for every free piece of content thereâs two times as much paid video content. $24.99 was nothing compared to how many hours of content youâre suddenly sifting through.Â
Thereâs a common thread across every video though, you can already tell from the thumbnails, Ryu still never shows his face. Almost every thumbnail is the same, a white wall and a charcoal gray couch, and a man wearing oversized black sweatpants and a tight black athletic shirt.Â
His knees are parted, legs spread open and casual, and his hands rest clasped between them. You swallow thickly at the sight of his arms. Heâs built. His hands are so good looking you think idly that he should just be modeling watches or something, itâs ridiculous how nice they are. His skin is tanned, veins snaking up his forearms, and silver rings across several of his long, thick fingers. Can the sight of a manâs hands make you come? Your aching clit throbs.Â
You skim through the video titles and tags to try and select one and your stomach twists. His videos are even more varied than the free content he posts and organized so well you think you might be in love with him already.Â
Thereâs a folder for role play videos, and you skim through that quickly just to see. Neighbor overhears you moaning and comes to check on you, best friend takes your virginity, boss and secretary working late, brotherâs best friend slips into your room at a sleepover, step-daddy teaches his babygirl a lesson.Â
Your cheeks flush hot pink and you settle further into your sheets, backing out of this folder and navigating to your tried and true favorite.
Guided masturbation and encouragement.Â
There are even more videos in this folder and you skim through any of those ones that say âexclusiveâ in the title to avoid ones youâve already heard parts of. The hashtags alone leave you breathless and you have no idea what to choose, every video cleanly tagged with what youâll need to be able to keep up with his instructions. Hands only, rabbit vibe, hitachi wand, bullet vibe, dildo, butt plug, nipple clamps, lubricant, massage oil, blindfold, wrist restraints, ankle restraints, the list goes on and on.
You select one at almost random with the tags âhands and fingersâ, âdildoâ, and âoptional squirtingâ.Â
The screen starts black, and for a second youâre pretty sure somethingâs wrong, but then you hear him.Â
âHi everyone,â Your muscles melt, and you push your noise canceling earbuds deeper into your ears, âI have something a little special today,âÂ
Youâve never heard him talk so casually, almost like a vlogger or something. His voice hasnât yet shifted into that deep teasing tone that kicks off every free video, and youâre already sold on every dollar youâve spent when he starts to just chat.Â
âI got a request from a special subscriber in my discord,â He says, âsomeone whoâs become a friend and who confided in me that sheâs never been able to make herself squirt,âÂ
Your breath comes a little more quickly.Â
âItâs not easy to do, I know,â He says, tenderly, the screen still black, âand I want you all to know that if youâre still struggling after this audio, thatâs okay. It takes time, and your body is not a sex toy. Thereâs not a perfect combination that works for every person with a vagina,âÂ
Your brow quirks at the inclusivity of his language choice and you smile a little, easing yourself down in the bed to keep listening to him.Â
âBut Iâm going to do my best to help you,â He continues, âso while I get set up over here, I need you to get your own space ready. Get up out of bed or off the couch, but keep me with you, okay, baby?âÂ
Youâre shaking and he hasnât even said anything sexy yet. You donât always listen perfectly to instructions, sometimes you skip ahead a bit and get to the good stuff just to get yourself off, but this time itâs different. You tuck your phone in your robe pocket and stand.Â
âFor this session,â You can almost see the smile in his voice and you try to imagine him, âyouâll need a couple of good towels laid out across your space. Youâll need to drink a big glass of water before we get started, and then I want you to find your best dildo, the one that really makes you come hard. The one that fills you up just right, that hits that tender little place you wish I was touching with my fingers,âÂ
Heâs going to make you come so hard you see Jesus, you can tell already.Â
âWe need everything to be perfect,â He says, âand for you to be comfortable. Tonight is not the night to test out that new toy, okay? Tonight is for you and me, so go and get your supplies, and Iâll tell you all about my day. Iâll be your favorite little sexy podcast.â
As he starts warmly talking to his audience about his long lazy morning off work, you nearly crumble. Youâre really not supposed to be getting a crush on this guy, but here you fucking are. Heâs sweet, casual and laughs a little while he talks, and while you gather up the towels and the water and the frankly oversized dildo, youâre smiling.Â
You hear him sit down and sigh and then his voice shifts, just a little, âAlright, baby, are you ready?âÂ
You sink back back down to sit on your own bed and you wait.Â
âJust a reminder,â He says, âI will be using female descriptors throughout this video. If youâre uncomfortable with me calling you âgirlâ, like babygirl or good girl, or referring to you as a woman in any way, I am posting the similar content with male descriptors. If youâd prefer to hear baby boy or good boy, check the links below this video, okay?âÂ
You smile again.Â
âAlright,â He hums, ânow, where were we?âÂ
The camera clicks on and you feel the little gasp leave you. You almost forgot.Â
He leans back on the couch and keeps talking, âThatâs right, the lesson. Get settled over the towels, and if youâre wearing anything, itâs time to take it off for me.âÂ
You lay back over the towels and let your robe part open.Â
âThatâs so good,â He croons softly, âgod, youâre so pretty, baby,âÂ
Your chest thumps hard.Â
âLetâs start slow, okay?â His hands smooth over his thighs, âthe key here is teasing, and I know how much you like it when I tease you.âÂ
Your hand rests on your own thigh, your other propping up the phone as you watch with rapt attention.Â
âTouch your pretty thighs for me,â His voice is rich and thick in your ears, âthatâs a good girl, there we go, nice and soft. Is your pussy wet? Did I do that to you again, pretty girl?âÂ
Youâre barely breathing, eyes fixated on the screen as he strokes his own thigh through his sweatpants, slow and steady.Â
âAre you aching?â He asks and you canât help but nod, feeling like suddenly he can see you through the screen.Â
âTouch just a little,â He murmurs, âbut donât jump ahead. Keep your fingers off your clit, weâre not there yet, sweetheart.âÂ
A little tight sound slips out of you as you follow his instructions.Â
âIs your sweet slit wet?â He hums, and his hand slides up his thigh and rests over his stomach, âAre you throbbing?âÂ
Fuck.Â
âSomeday, baby,â He sighs and you watch him shift on the couch cushions, âIâll taste you,âÂ
âFuck,â You whisper.Â
âBut for now,â Heâs smiling, you know it, âyou just need to listen to me and do everything I tell you,âÂ
Youâre nodding again.Â
âI promise,â He says, âIâll take such good care of you baby, if you listen, I promise to make you come.âÂ
Your stomach clenches, core fluttering, and you drift your fingertips up and down your slit, following the way his middle finger is slowly sliding back and forth on his abs.Â
âAre you listening?â His voice goes husky and your head drops back into the pillows. Next time youâll need a better way to watch him and listen and touch yourself, but youâre so incredibly desperate at this moment that it really doesnât matter, youâll make due.Â
âYou are, arenât you?â He murmurs, âGood girl,âÂ
Your legs spread a little wider.Â
He leans forward, you hear the rustling of the fabric and you snap your eyes back to the video to see him leaning forward, hands clasped together loosely, and youâre pretty sure you can see the outline of a bulge in his sweatpants.Â
âDoes it hurt?â He croons, teasing.Â
You love him like this.Â
âTake your hand away from your pussy,â He says, just a little more commanding, âright now, baby,âÂ
You pull it back reluctantly.Â
âClose your eyes for a minute,â He murmurs, âspread your legs for me,âÂ
You comply immediately.Â
âTease your nipples,â He sounds a little breathier now and you fight the urge to watch the video, âdo whatever feels good, touch your tits exactly the way you like it,âÂ
You roll your nipples, tugging them softly and kneading your breasts with both hands now that youâre not propping up the phone.Â
âImagine me with you,â He says, âfeel my fingers sliding up your calves, my lips on your inner thigh, you can feel my breath against your sweet cunt, I know you can,âÂ
Youâre about to come untouched, thatâs the thought that rocks through your mind when your hips jerk on their own, his deep voice nestled right in your ear.Â
âLook at you,â He muses, âsquirming around, so fucking desperate for something inside you,âÂ
Your breath catches.Â
âYouâre so needy,â He continues, âare you making noise for me? Little pants, little moans? Are you trying to be quiet?â He clicks his tongue against his teeth, a soft scold, âNot with me, baby,âÂ
A moan bubbles up out of you.Â
âHands off.âÂ
Your eyes open immediately, and you donât pull your hands away just yet, but youâre frozen still. Youâre breathing hard, blush climbing up your chest, and your hips jerk slightly. If he doesnât let you touch yourself soon, youâre going to lose your mind.Â
âGood girl,â He says after a moment, âvery good,âÂ
You drop your hands, scrambling for the phone so you can see what heâs going to do next.Â
âNow watch me,â He instructs, holding his palm up to the camera, âtake two fingers,â he separates his fingers, keeping his middle and index fingers tucked together, âand when theyâre inside curl them just like this.â He crooks his fingers in a come-hither motion, âJust like this,âÂ
You slide your hand down your front, slipping your fingers through your soaked folds, but his voice makes you pause.Â
âGo slow,â He instructs, âpush them in nice and slow for me,âÂ
You follow his instructions.Â
âThere you go,â He sighs softly, ânow curl your fingers,âÂ
You watch as he does it in the video and you follow instructions dutifully, your fingers brushing over your spongy g-spot.Â
âFeel that?â He leans back, and the tent in his sweatpants makes you pant, âThat perfect little spot that makes you whine so good for me?âÂ
You nod again, biting down on your lip, desperate to move but waiting.Â
âWhen I say,â He slips his fingertips into his sweatpants, teasing you, âfuck your perfect pussy with those fingers,â
Sweat drips down your chest.Â
His hand disappears into his sweats and he groans, âNow,âÂ
You donât have to be told twice.Â
âHarder,â He says, throaty and low, âI know you can,âÂ
A tight sound slips out of you as you work yourself, but you nearly fall apart when you watch him push down the top of his sweats. His cock is huge, thereâs no other way to say it. Thick and perfect, aching pink at the head and when he wraps his hand around himself you feel the tense knot of your orgasm rushing back.Â
âOh, f-fuck,â You scramble in the sheets, pulsing your fingers in and out just like he told you to.Â
âLook at you,â He says again, âfucking yourself for me. I bet youâre imagining my fingers, arenât you? Just like Iâm imagining your dripping pussy,âÂ
Pleasure rocks in your gut.Â
âUse your other hand,â He instructs, ârub that clit for me,âÂ
You drop the phone like itâs hot, and you have to crane your neck to see the video, but it doesnât matter. Heâs given you the perfect permission to do exactly what you need and you have to take it.Â
âDoes that feel good, baby? Yeah? Do you feel like you need to come for me?â His voice gets closer to the microphone and youâre rapidly approaching the edge, âYouâre so close, fuck, listen to you,âÂ
âGod, oh god,â Your legs are trembling.Â
âDo you see how hard you make me?â His fist jerks over his cock faster and your mind is unraveling, none of his other audios feel like this, âDo you know how much I want to see you come?âÂ
Pressure drops in your belly.Â
âFuck,â He pants, âyouâre almost there, I know you want to come for me, but not until I say,âÂ
Itâs happening whether he wants it to or not, whether you want it or not, and your fingers bear down harder on your clit, your eyes locking closed, head falling back.Â
You pull your hands away and itâs possible that nothing has ever felt as bad as this one stolen orgasm. Your hands are shaking, body flushed and slick with sweat, and if any of your neighbors are up they are probably getting an earful.Â
You lock eyes with the video again and his hands rest on his knees, cock standing tall and at attention, edging with you.Â
âGet that dildo nice and wet,â He says, and you search your sheets for the silicone cock, âin your mouth pretty girl, imagine thatâs my cock between your lips,âÂ
He strokes his hand slowly down his length, smearing a bead of precum down to the base of his shaft as you dip the cock between your lips and take it as far in your mouth as you can.Â
âItâs time to come,â He soothes, like he knows youâre a whining, quivering mess, âI know you need it,âÂ
The dildo pops free from your mouth and you watch as he lifts the hem of his shirt to expose the smooth plane of his abs, âFuck yourself with me, sweetheart,âÂ
Pleasure pops through you as you press the toy to your hot channel.Â
âNice and fast,â He pleads, thrusting into his fist, âdonât stop this time, not until you come,âÂ
The bubble inside you expands again, pressure everywhere.Â
âJust trust me,â He whispers in your ear, âdonât stop. Iâve got you, Iâm right here, you let go baby. Donât fight it,âÂ
Your back arches up off the bedding, the muscles in your arm aching as you thrust the toy in and out of yourself, pressing it up again and again into your g-spot.Â
âCome, baby,â He sounds like heâs begging, and your free hand flies down to grip the sheets, âlet go, you come, thatâs it, there you go,âÂ
You turn your head, catching sight of him again and the way he works himself over.Â
âThere we go,â He groans sharply, his own release spurting up ropes of cum onto his exposed chest, âcan you feel me inside you? Come with me, thatâs a good girl, good fucking girl,âÂ
He sounds dizzy, panting himself, youâve never heard him quite like this and one final thrust sends you spilling over the edge. Your vision whites, body locking up in ecstatic pleasure, and you clap a hand over your lips to stifle the moan that rips out of you.Â
It takes a minute to come back from that. Your ears ringing, and the dildo slips out of you with a final pulse from your shattering orgasm. Heâs talking, you register it, but his voice sounds far away and you realize that youâve lost your earbuds. You scramble to get them back in, pulling the video up to your eyes.Â
â-And thatâs okay,â Heâs saying, his cock tucked away and his shirt back down, âyou can try again another time if you didnât quite get there,âÂ
For a second youâre confused, it was the hardest orgasm of your life, but then you remember this was intended to be a guided masturbation to squirt and you blush, alone in your apartment, at the fact that you didnât quite get there and heâs talking to you.Â
âItâs all about the build up,â He explains, âbut Iâm sure with a little practice we can get you there.âÂ
Youâve never really cared about squirting until now, but he makes it sound like a perfect date and something tells you that youâll be back here again night after night if heâll have you.Â
âAnyway,â He sighs and you hope heâs smiling above the camera, âthank you for spending a little bit of your day with me, I hope I made you feel as good as you made me feel,âÂ
You blush again.Â
âIâll see you soon,â He assures, gentle like a lover would, âsleep well, jagiya,âÂ
The video cuts and you blink hard, youâre still smiling.Â
You are so, so fucked.Â
After that, Ryu becomes a problem. You wish it was just the videos and the dirty talk and the good orgasms, but itâs more than that. You just like to hear him talk now, the little bits at the beginning about his day are starting to get into your head. And then thereâs the Snapchat.Â
You kind of expected the private Snap to be sexy photos and videos of him in the almost pitch dark huskily saying good morning, but it isnât. You still have never seen his face, but his videos are casual, friendly, too real for a man you spend every night fantasizing about. He chats about things heâs doing or books heâs reading while heâs cooking, filming just shoulders down so you can watch the muscles in his arms while he chops vegetables. You fall in love with the sound of his voice when heâs just talking, his stretched out s-sounds that only really peek through outside of his constructed scenes. You find yourself missing him a little on days he doesnât post.Â
Youâve gotten used to waking up with him, falling asleep with him, checking in on him during the day. His message announcements in Snapchat donât feel like theyâre for everyone, they feel like theyâre for you. You know thatâs not true of course, you know youâre paying a hefty monthly bill just to feel like this, but you donât care. Itâs been a while, and youâd be lying if you said you didnât just need some company.Â
Itâs a Thursday when everything goes to shit.Â
You wake up far too late, forgetting to set the alarm on your phone after falling asleep directly after yet another Ryu narrated orgasm, and everything has been off kilter since. Youâre scrambling to get to work on time and every little thing is going wrong. Your coffee machine isnât turning on, the sweater you want to wear is still in the wash, and your umbrella will not open despite the rain thatâs ruining what would have been a good hair day.Â
When you decide to stop into the coffee shop across from your office itâs not even a want, it's a need. Youâre already thirty minutes late, why not make it forty-five?Â
Youâve never come here, not once. Youâre used to going to the shop around the block from your apartment, and this place is new. Ongozisin is the kind of place youâd normally take your time in. The space is clearly industrial, concrete walls and flooring made to look unfinished. The aesthetic is still warm though, with natural dark wood furniture and bamboo accents, Joseon era paintings and a juniper bonsai along the back wall.Â
To the left side of the cafe stands a bay of tall windows and the very modern, very clean point of sale. The line isnât too long, but you can see that the pace of this place is slower by design, so maybe youâll just round up and call it an hour late. A door opens to your left and you watch as one of the baristas steps out from a kitchen holding two black plates of colorful, carefully constructed pastries.Â
The line moves ahead of you, and the person behind you softly clears their throat to jog your attention.Â
You step closer, only one person ahead of you now.Â
When you hear his voice you nearly reach for your phone.Â
âThatâs perfect,â Itâs Ryu, clear as day. His voice is distinct and deep and here.Â
Your eyes snap up to the barista behind the counter, your body frozen stock still as you take him in, mind spinning.Â
âDo you want any cream?â He says to the woman ordering.Â
Blush lights up your cheeks and all you can think about is the video you watched the night before and his voice in your ear - Do you want my cum inside you, pretty baby?Â
You should leave. Thereâs a reason this man is anonymous on the internet, never showing an inch of his face, and Ryu isnât even his name, it's just what you call him. He never calls himself anything in the videos, never reveals what part of Korea he lives in, never talks about his job. He doesnât want to be found.Â
Youâre about to turn, run, scramble away, but his voice comes again and this time you realize heâs talking to you. The man, Ryu, smiles, âGood morning, can I get you something?âÂ
Youâre frozen.Â
âMiss?â A little crease between his brows.Â
âSorry,â You jump forwards, ignoring the annoyed huff behind you and shaking off as much of this panic as you can, âI donât know where my head is this morning,âÂ
âThatâs alright,â He says warmly, âthatâs what Iâm here for,âÂ
You canât say anything, your mind blanks.Â
His eyes flick over you and then he nods, âYou know, coffee? To wake you up?âÂ
âRight!â You nod, âSorry, yes, an americano please,âÂ
âIced or hot?â He asks.Â
Are you feeling hot, babygirl? Do you need to take something off for me?Â
âHot,â You say it on a reflex but then you remember yourself, âno sorry, iced, iced please,âÂ
âOkay, sure,â He smiles, âiced,âÂ
You make it through payment without too much more embarrassment, apologizing again, and then you step to the side. Another barista appears, slotting into Ryuâs place so he can turn his attention to the drinks he needs to make and you take the moment to get composed.Â
Heâs handsome, thatâs a given. You expected that, but still he looks even better than your imagination conjured up, more real. He looks exactly right for this cafe too, his black hair long enough to brush the base of his neck with half gathered into a ponytail, pieces loose to frame his angular face. Heâs dressed smartly too, black oversized trousers and a fitted black t-shirt, slim black boots, and an open jacket in a dramatic modern-hanbok style. You realize youâre staring the minute his eyes hold on yours and they crinkle up as he smiles. He has a birthmark, a smooth light pink flush across his eye and your heart thumps in your chest.Â
âLong night?â He asks you, passing off a coffee in a mug to the woman who had been ahead of you in line.Â
He just puts you at ease and you nod, âSomething like that,âÂ
âAh,â He knocks out the round cake of used espresso from the portafilter as he talks, âand you look like you got caught in the rain, donât you have an umbrella?âÂ
âBroken,â You grimace, âitâs been one of those mornings,âÂ
âMm,â He nods, focusing on queueing up espresso for your americano, but while the shots pull he turns back to you, âI donât think Iâve seen you here before?âÂ
You shake your head, âNo, first time,âÂ
âDo you like it?â He gestures around with a nod of his head.Â
âVery much,â You smile, âitâs a great space,âÂ
He smiles again, looking proud, âIâm glad you like it,â he says, âwe havenât been open very long, but so far people have seemed to enjoy it,âÂ
âOh,â You watch him pour your espresso over ice, âis the cafe yours?âÂ
He nods, âMine and my friendâs,âÂ
You wish you werenât late, you wish you were able to stay just a little longer.Â
âWell,â You tell him honestly, âitâs beautiful here, Iâll have to come in more often, I only work across the street.â
âAh,â He nods, âI thought you looked familiar,âÂ
Blush creeps up your neck.Â
âDid you need cream?â He asks and you hope he doesnât notice the way your pulse quickens at his words, but he nods towards your coffee and you shake your head.Â
âThank you,â You take the cup off the bar and step back, âI appreciate it.âÂ
âI hope that helps,â He says, and then he glances behind you at the large round window, âactually, Iâm sorry, can you wait one moment?âÂ
âSure,â You watch him duck out from behind the bar, making a quick beeline for the swinging door that leads back into the kitchen. You have no idea what he could want, thereâs no way youâd be recognized by him except as a stranger on the street, and your stomach knots up.Â
It takes him a moment, but he darts back out, a long black umbrella in his hand, âTake this,âÂ
âI canât do that,â You wave a hand, âIâm only across the street, but thatâs really kind of you,âÂ
âIf youâre only across the street then I know where to go to get it back,â He shakes his head, âjust take it, itâs raining like crazy out there,âÂ
He presses the handle of the umbrella into your free hand, and your breath catches in your throat, his skin brushing against yours. Your eyes flick over his rings, just the same as always. A signet with a deep black stone, a hammered silver band, a clearly vintage one on his index finger that looks like an old Catholic saint token, the finer details rubbed away with age.Â
âWhat time do you close?â You ask, accepting the umbrella.Â
âSeven,âÂ
âIâll bring it back after work then,â You tell him, âis that alright?â
He nods, âBut if itâs still raining, just keep it. Bring it by tomorrow,âÂ
âTomorrow,â You nod.Â
âMhm,â He nods, something warm in his expression, âthis will have to be your new usual spot,âÂ
Is he flirting? Youâre wholly and entirely unprepared to deal with that considering the way you moaned his name last night. Something clicks in your brain at that thought though and you nod, âMaybe it will. Iâm y/n, by the way,âÂ
âYeosang,â He smiles, âitâs very nice to meet you.âÂ
Yeosang.
âYou too,â You dip your head, âand thank you again for this,âÂ
âOf course,â He says, âI hope this turns your morning around a little,âÂ
You open your mouth to say something, but thereâs a voice from the cafe bar that slices cleanly between your conversation, âYeosang-ah!âÂ
Yeosang glances back and then he sighs, just a little, âI have to go,â he tells you, âbut Iâll see you again,âÂ
âSee you again,âÂ
Heâs back behind the bar before you can blink, focusing on each customerâs order. The man who called his name is grinning, and you wonder idly if heâs the friend who owns the cafe with Yeosang or just a part-timer.Â
With your stomach fluttering, you push out into the rain to get to work, Yeosangâs name on a loop in your brain for the rest of the day. When you get home, his umbrella resting by the door, you delete his Snapchat from your contacts and unsubscribe from his Fansly account.Â
Ongozisin becomes a daily ritual.Â
The money you used to spend on his Fansly now goes straight into the cafe, first thing in the morning before work and a last lingering stop in the evening before you go home.Â
On busy days you barely get to see him and sometimes youâre left just chatting with Wooyoung, his best friend and business partner. You like him too, you like the atmosphere and their kind warmth, but if youâre being honest you find yourself living for slow days. The days where youâve timed it just right to have a little talk before the rush of the day or the closing tasks of the evening.Â
Little by little, Ryu fades from your mind, and the man in front of you is just Yeosang. The guy who runs your favorite coffee shop, the guy who dresses almost otherworldly, who smiles wide but only when you say something truly funny, who sometimes gets lost in his own head while heâs making cappuccinos.Â
Heâs lovely.Â
Sometimes you think he might be flirting, a little more suavely and charismatic than his business partner who asked if you had a crush on him since you were coming into the cafe so much. Sometimes Yeosang adds a little extra treat to your plate of food or he adds pretty latte art to your cup if youâre staying in the cafe. That might be nothing, but it certainly might be something.Â
It isnât until another day of rain, harsh pelting rain, that Yeosang appears at your table.Â
âWe close soon,â He says, and when he sees the brief flash of concern that youâve overstayed your welcome on your face he shakes his head, âsorry, I meant to ask, how are you getting home tonight?âÂ
âThe train,â You glance outside.Â
His nose crinkles, âYou donât have an umbrella today either,â
âTrue,â You look down at your belongings, âI didnât check the weather,âÂ
âIf you wait a bit for us to lock up,â He says, âIâd be happy to walk you to the station,âÂ
âOh,âÂ
âOr if youâre not busy,â He clears his throat softly, âI could walk you to this little restaurant around the corner?âÂ
Flirting, then.Â
You smile and nod, trying to keep your eagerness tamped down to a normal amount, âAre you asking me out, Yeosang?âÂ
He grins, âIâve been trying to,âÂ
Your stomach flips pleasantly, âIâll wait, dinner sounds nice,âÂ
His shoulders sag, a little relief in his expression and he clears away your empty cup as he says, âIâll be quick,â
You catch Wooyoung slapping his friend's shoulder as he disappears into the back room, and before you know it youâre blushing and sitting across from this man at the restaurant down the block.Â
Dinner is so smooth it feels surreal. It turns out you both like the same music, and several books too, and youâve never been on a date with a man who asked you so many questions about yourself and didnât just talk your ear off. Dinner stretches long too, and youâre strangely grateful itâs a Friday when you finally do check the time. He has to work on Saturday at the cafe, but not until a little later in the morning, and so neither one of you really wants to call it quits.Â
The after dinner walk turns meandering, and then his hand is brushing against yours, knuckles to knuckles.Â
You donât think of him as Ryu until his fingers brush down your back, lips close to your ear when he finally asks you. The way he does makes your body melt - I hope Iâm not ruining things by asking, but would you like to come home with me tonight?
You agree before your mind catches up to itself, but every step of the walk to his apartment has your heart picking up speed. You had forgotten on the date how you met him, really met him, and your gut churns.Â
Do you tell him? Do you lie?Â
Everytime he grins at you, touches you, tucks his long hair behind his ear and nods, you canât imagine a one night stand. You could maybe swallow the truth if thatâs all this was to you, but itâs not, and so you canât.Â
On his block you feel the internal countdown ticking.Â
âYou can change your mind, you know,â He offers, noticing how youâve gone quiet, and it pulls you straight out of your thoughts.Â
âOh,â Your head snaps up, âIâm sorry, I donât want to change my mind at all, I just got a little lost in thought.âÂ
He nods, this time finding your hand and giving you a squeeze, his steps slowing as you approach his building, âCan I ask what about?âÂ
You nod, returning the soft pulse of his hand in yours before separating your skin from his. His eyes flick down to your hands, and then back up to your eyes.Â
âI have a bit of a confession,â You swallow hard, âsomething I think I should tell you before we go upstairs,âÂ
âOkay,â He leans against the stone wall behind him, âis everything alright?âÂ
âI hope so,â You nod, âI just feel like thereâs something I should say now, and if it makes you uncomfortable at all, just be honest. Iâll go home, no hard feelings,âÂ
ây/n,â His brows draw together in confusion, âwhatâs going on?âÂ
You take a deep breath, taking a step back to get a little breathing room, âI recognized you when I came into the cafe that first day,âÂ
âRecognized me?âÂ
âYeah,â You clear your throat, your chest feeling tight, âfor the past few months Iâve been⊠a subscriber,â
âA subscriber,â He repeats, and for a brief flickering second you wonder to yourself if this man just looks and sounds and feels exactly like Ryu but isnât, but then his face blanches, âoh,âÂ
âIâm not anymore,â You shake your head, âand clearly you like your privacy, so I didnât know how to just come out and say it, but if youâre actually interested in me and not just being flirty at the cafe then I just canât lie to you⊠I donât want to start something with a lie,âÂ
Heâs quiet, and then his eyes flick down.Â
It was so, so nice while it lasted.Â
âI should have told you sooner,â Your stomach flips and you take another step back, âand I completely understand that youâre upset, Iâll just, I wonât say anything to anyone and it was lovely getting to know you, and Iâm sorry, Iâll go,âÂ
His head snaps up, âGo? y/n, stop, slow down,âÂ
His hands smooth down your forearms as he jumps forwards, pulling you gently back towards him. Your heart is beating so loud you can practically hear it, âIâm sorry,âÂ
âIâm not upset,â He assures, âcan we go inside to talk? I donât want to do this in the street,âÂ
You nod, letting him lead you through the garden gate and up towards the house, but his words pulse on a loop in your mind. You hope heâs good at letting you down easy because this hurts. You should have known it that first day at the cafe, you should have stayed away and not played with fire.Â
His house is small, but very nice and despite being sparsely decorated, you like it. You feel trapped in the entryway so unsure of what to do in this space, especially when you recognize the corner of his gray couch.Â
âCan I get you a drink or something?â He interrupts your thoughts, âI have wine, probably some soju, and a bottle of truly undrinkable Japanese whisky,âÂ
âUndrinkable?â You blink.Â
âI think itâs supposed to be very good if you like whisky,â He explains, âit was a gift,âÂ
âAh,â You couldnât feel more awkward if you tried, âwine, I guess?âÂ
âOkay,â He smiles, a close lipped polite smile that doesnât quite touch his eyes, âwell, make yourself comfortable, Iâll get us a drink and then we can talk,âÂ
âSure,â Youâre still frozen as he walks away down the hall to what you presume is the kitchen. It takes a minute to unstick yourself, but you make your way to the couch and wait.Â
He returns with two glasses of red wine and then he sits in the chair opposite you, not on the stretch of couch next to you.Â
âSorry,â You take the wine, stomach flip flopping, âI know this isnât how you thought the night would go,âÂ
âMm,â He nods, taking a sip of his drink.
âI donât know what to say,â You tell him honestly.Â
He nods, looking anywhere but at you until he finally meets your eyes again, âYouâre not a subscriber anymore?âÂ
âNo,â You tell him firmly.Â
âWhy?â He asks, and the question hangs between you.Â
âWhen I recognized you at the cafe and you were being so nice to me,â You explain, âit occurred to me that something might happen between us, as friends or otherwise, and it just felt wrong to know you as Yeosang and then⊠engage with your content that is clearly anonymous and meant to be private. I didnât want to do that without you knowing,âÂ
He nods, setting his glass on the nearby coffee table, âI see,âÂ
âYou are keeping it private, right? I feel like youâre careful to not overshare,âÂ
âYes,â He nods, âno one knows.âÂ
âThen I really am sorry,â You set your own glass aside and lean forwards, âIâm sure you didnât want to bring your real life as Yeosang and your online life as Ryu together, I just recognized your voice immediately that day in the cafe,â
âAs Ryu?â He glances back up at you.Â
âThatâs what IâŠâ You try to parse through it so it doesnât sound like a parasocial affair, âfromryu, you know? Thatâs just what I filled in for your name, I guess,âÂ
âRyusang,â He nods, âitâs the Hanja spelling of Yeosang,âÂ
âOh,â You soften.Â
âWhy didnât you mention you knew me before?â He asks, but despite his words nothing in his demeanor is upset, just curious.Â
You take another large, steadying gulp of wine and nod, âI didnât really think the cafe was an appropriate place to tell you that Iâve gotten off to your voice before,âÂ
He laughs sharply and looks down, âOkay, thatâs fair,âÂ
âRight,â You murmur.Â
ây/n,â He sounds hesitant and you look back up to him, âcan I ask you something?âÂ
âAnything,âÂ
âDid you come out with me tonight because you wanted to go out on a date with the guy from the cafe, or because you wanted to have sex with Ryu?â The question is direct and cutting.Â
âWith you,â You answer quickly, and now you know exactly why heâs putting this distance between you, âyou, Yeosang.âÂ
Heâs quiet, turning your words over, you can practically see him thinking.Â
âYeo,â You murmur, fighting the urge to reach out to him, âif all I wanted was that, I wouldnât have told you. But I really like you, Yeosang, and Iâd like to see more of you and see where this could go, but I completely understand if me knowing this part of you is too much. If you donât want to go any further with me romantically or as a friend, this can just be a nice date we both had,âÂ
He nods and then says, âI have one more question,âÂ
You wait, your stomach in knots.Â
âDo you have a problem with what I do?â He asks.Â
âI mean,â You shake your head, âI was a subscriber, so no,âÂ
âI donât mean like that,â He clarifies his words, âI mean in terms of a romantic relationship. I like my work, both the cafe and the content, and if we start seeing each other Iâm not going to suddenly stop making porn just like I wouldnât close the cafe.âÂ
âIâm not asking you to,â You shift over on the couch and reach towards him, resting a hand on his forearm.Â
âIâve dated a few women,â He explains, slipping his hand into yours and twining your fingers together, âthis was not something any of them were comfortable with,âÂ
âOh,â You nod, but he continues.Â
âA couple of them thought it might be fun,â He adds, âbut when things got more serious they expected me to stop for them,âÂ
âIâm sorry,â You tell him quietly, âI donât expect anything like that,âÂ
âYou donât now,â He points out, âand neither did they in the beginning.âÂ
You can see the way this has fucked with his head a little, the way he keeps his shoulders stiff and turned away from you as he explains, and you suppose you might react the same way if you were in his shoes.Â
You chew the inside of your lip as you think about how best to say this to him, but finally you manage it, âYeosang,â you get his attention, âwhat you do for work doesnât change what we do on a date or in bed,âÂ
He turns his head a little, the only indication you have that heâs really listening.Â
âI have no expectation that youâre some⊠sex god,â You smile a little, âthough my guess is that youâre pretty good at dirty talk,âÂ
A small smile appears on his lips.Â
âIf I didnât like what you do for work Iâd go find another guy,â You continue, âand Iâm sorry if the other women you dated werenât comfortable with it, but Iâm not so shy about it. I like what you do, and youâve helped me plenty, and thereâs nothing more flattering than knowing you liked me enough to even bring me upstairs,âÂ
âDonât sell yourself short there,â He looks up, shaking his head, âwhen you said yes to dinner I thought Iâd be lucky if I got to so much as touch you,âÂ
Your heart quickens in your chest, âYou, what?âÂ
He turns his body towards you properly now, ây/n,â he says, âI like you, Iâve liked you since you walked into the cafe soaking wet and exhausted, Iâve been trying to figure out how to ask you out for weeks.â
âI think Iâm dreaming,â You breathe, and he grins at your words. You clap a hand over your lips and groan, âSorry, I didn't mean to say that outloud,âÂ
âItâs honest,â He says, âI like that about you,â
âWell,â Your hands naturally separate as you lean back onto the couch, âthen believe me when I tell you that I am fine with your work. All aspects of your work,âÂ
His eyes flick over you, gauging how honest youâre being now, âAll aspects?âÂ
You nod again.Â
ây/n,â His voice softens, âwhat tier subscriber were you?âÂ
It clicks in your brain that you havenât really told him everything, all the things you know about him and his work. Little audio videos here and there might be forgivable to some women, but more might be too much.Â
âThe highest,â You tell him, âwhen I say everything I mean it, the videos, the Snapchat, all of it.âÂ
He seems to relax at that, âAnd if this does go somewhere,â he gestures between you both, âif we keep seeing each other. If it becomes more than a few dates,âÂ
You nod.Â
âYouâre alright knowing that even if we were dating and going to bed together every night, I spend my free time making people come on the internet for money,â He says it so plainly that you have to blink at him.Â
You turn his words over and then sigh, âThereâs one thing,âÂ
He leans back in his chair, putting a little more distance between you both, obviously braced for your words.Â
âI just have a question,â You ease him, âjust something I should know, I think.âÂ
He nods once, his shoulders tense again.Â
âDo you ever talk one on one with people?â You feel your cheeks heat, âI know you do, you have the discord, but I mean do you ever do what you do alone with someone?â
He softens, âNo, no I donât,âÂ
âOkay,â You nod, the tense knot in your stomach relaxing, âokay, then,â
âWould that be a boundary for you?â He asks.Â
âI think so,â You tell him, âitâs different when youâre making a video to upload for anyone and talking to someone, at least to me,âÂ
He nods, and then he moves, shifting from his position on the chair to your side on the couch. The nerves that were knotted deeply inside you start to unfurl, his proximity feeling like a peace offering, like an acceptance of your words.
âSubscribers arenât lovers,â He says finally, âand some people blur that line with their content, but I donât.âÂ
âThen, Yeosang,â You take the opportunity to slide yourself sideways a little closer to him, âI am fine with all aspects of your work, more than fine.âÂ
âWill you tell me if that ever changes?â He asks.Â
âYes,â You make him this promise, âI like you too, all I want is to be honest with you,âÂ
He nods, his fingers flexing on his thigh as he thinks. Finally, he swallows tightly, his skin flushing a little now that youâre almost pressed together on the couch, and he asks what heâs wanted to ask all night, ây/n,â he turns towards you, âcan I kiss you?âÂ
Heâs stunning this close, enough to render you speechless, breathless. You manage a single word, âPlease,âÂ
Heâs on you in a flash, and Yeosangâs lips are warm, soft and plush and as he presses into you and winds his arms around you. Your body relaxes into his instantly, the feeling of his warmth, the scent of him, rich coffee grounds and sugar infused into his skin from his work at the cafe.Â
His tongue probes your mouth, his breath hot as he sighs. Your body feels alight, hot and feverish and desperate from just a single kiss. You need him inside you yesterday.Â
When he breaks the kiss, you realize youâre half straddling him. Somewhere in the heat of the moment and the muddled fog you hitched a leg over his and his hands dragged you up against him so youâre chest to chest. When your mouths break apart, youâre still merely inches from each other and panting the same little breath of air.Â
ây/n,â His hands explore you slowly, moving over your skin like heâs trying to learn you, ânormally I would try to keep the kink to a future date, but since you already know all of my deepest, darkest fantasies, maybe we can skip ahead?âÂ
âYes,â You laugh softly, âdefinitely,âÂ
âBut I am realizing something,â His hands find the curve of your ass, âIâm at a disadvantage here, youâve seen my videos, but I donât know anything about what you like.âÂ
âYou,â The word bubbles up and you flush red again.Â
âMy voice, Iâm sure you like that,â He drops it a little to emphasize the husky bedroom quality of it with a teasing smile on his face, âbut what videos do you like? What were your favorites?âÂ
Heâs about to ruin you, thereâs absolutely no question. Even if he was all talk youâre sure to be coming just from his words alone, but his hands, the way he touches you, thereâs no doubt he has the skills to back up everything heâs ever said in the videos too.Â
âNow Iâm a little embarrassed,â You admit, âan hour ago we were on a first date,âÂ
âAn hour ago I didnât know the woman across the table had fucked herself to the thought of me,â He counters softly, âand we can slow down if you want but judging from the wet patch on my thigh I think you want to keep going,âÂ
You jerk your hips immediately, angling to pull them away so you can stop embarrassing yourself all over this man after a single kiss, but his hands lock down hard over your ass and he holds your body firmly against him.Â
âNo, no,â He adjusts his leg so that his thigh is pressed even more firmly against your cunt, âdonât be embarrassed with me,âÂ
âRight,â You blush darker.Â
âIâll tell you what I want,â He offers, âwould that help?âÂ
You nod quickly.Â
One of his hands shifts to lovingly stroke up and down your back as he speaks, âI want you to enjoy this more than anything. There is nothing that gets me off harder than making a partner absolutely fall apart for me, and knowing I did that for them, and I think you already know that from my content. Thatâs real, thatâs me.âÂ
You shiver a little and he leans up to kiss you, softer this time.Â
âIâd like this to be good for you,â He continues, âand honestly I already want to see you again, but in case itâs only one night for you I think we should make it count.âÂ
The night went from nothing to everything so fast your head is spinning but you nod, surging up to kiss him with your hands pressed against his chest for balance. Your core drags along his hard thigh with your momentum forwards and you gasp a little into the kiss, your hips bucking softly on their own at the sudden pleasurable sensation. You feel something stiff and warm pressing into your belly and you feel a rush of sensation between your thighs.Â
âSo,â He kisses you again, leaning away so he can talk to you, âtell me what videos you liked,âÂ
âThe um,â You clear your throat softly, âthe guided ones,âÂ
He smiles, âThose are your favorites?âÂ
You nod.Â
âAnd the roleplay?â He asks.Â
âGood,â You nod, âeverything you do is really good,âÂ
âBut the guided ones get you off, hmm?â He squeezes your hips.Â
You nod again, âYouâre very good at what you do,âÂ
âGuided,â He says, almost to himself, before he drags your hips up and back along his thigh, âso you like when I talk you through it?âÂ
You rock your hips on your own this time, picking up on his cues that he wants you to grind on him, âMm-hmm,âÂ
âTell me more about what you like,â He keeps one hand planted firmly on your backside, but the other starts to wonder, fingers teasing the skin of your collarbones before he cups your breast through your sweater.Â
 âY-youâre so comforting,â You manage as you slowly rut your body against his, âeven when youâre edging me and telling me what to do, youâre just, I donât know,âÂ
âIs that right?â He teases softly, his fingers toying with the top button of your closed cardigan.Â
âMm,â You sigh, pleasure truly starting to build inside you as you rock your clit lazily against him, âand you understand it takes time for women,âÂ
The button opens.Â
âYou take your time with the build up,â You sigh, finding a better position for your hands against his firm chest while you continue to rock, âand when you talk about what you wish you could do to me if you were there,âÂ
Two more buttons part open and he hums softly, appreciatively, âYou like knowing what I want?âÂ
You nod, watching as he makes short work of your other buttons.Â
âMaybe I should just show you,â He slides the cardigan off your shoulders until it pools around your waist, caught on your elbows, âwouldnât that be better than just listening?â
âY-yes,â You sigh, your hips slowing so you can let him take the lead.Â
He shakes his head, pressing his hand against your ass again to keep you moving, âThatâs it,âÂ
You moan softly, fingers gripping his shirt, âYeosang,âÂ
He chuckles at your needy whine and brushes his fingers between your breasts, stroking up your chest, down and over the wire of your bra, and lower still over the soft flesh of your belly.Â
âThere you go,â He smiles, âI know that feels good,âÂ
You nod, âSo good,âÂ
âJagiya,â His hands slide your bra straps down, letting the soft material of the mesh cups fall and reveal your breasts to his hungry eyes, âlook how pretty you are for me,âÂ
Youâre close.Â
âDonât stop,â He murmurs, shifting under you so that he can sit up further and press his lips to your chest, âI need you to come,âÂ
âYeo,â You whine, your hips sinking into a quick rolling rhythm that feels so right.Â
âI need to take my time with you,â He confesses, lips traveling from the center of your chest across the swell of your breasts, âbut I donât think I can,âÂ
âI-I donât want you to,â You moan, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to stay steady, âplease,âÂ
âI want to,â He groans, âbut, fuck, y/n,âÂ
âYeo,â You shudder, pleasure snapping up and down your spine, âitâs not one night, it could have never been one night for me,âÂ
He exhales a heavy breath against your skin, hands tightening pleasantly on your rutting hips.Â
Youâre startlingly close to tipping over the edge, the bubble growing closer and closer to bursting, and you squeeze your eyes shut tightly to focus on the sensation of him, âI-I need,âÂ
He grips you harder, âTell me, baby,âÂ
âI, I,â You stammer, body stumbling towards coming.Â
âCome on,â He says lowly, âtell me what you need, baby, Iâm right here,âÂ
A tight sound bubbles out of your mouth and you figure it out in a second, your hand winding into the back of his hair to direct his head, pushing his mouth until you feel his lips ghost over your pebbled nipple.Â
âOh,â He groans, his tongue catching your nipple firmly and sending a shock down your back, âthere we go, Iâve got you,âÂ
His tongue flicks over your nipple again, closing his lips over the hardened bud to suck sharply in exactly the way you need to take you right over the edge.Â
âIâm,â You grip him harder, losing yourself entirely now as you grind against him for your release, âIâm so close,âÂ
âCome,â He pants, latching back onto your breast to keep lavishing the same attention, his arms banding tightly around you to hold your shuddering body close. Â
Your finger tightens in his hair, he begs you once more to come, and your orgasm knocks into you sideways. You moan sharply, jerking against him as you fall apart, and you feel him start to move.Â
He presses fast kisses across your chest, his voice soothing, âOh, there we go,â he sighs as he feels you trembling, âfuck, what a good girl showing me exactly what she needs,âÂ
His words draw a groan from your lips, your head buzzing at his praise.Â
âPerfect,â He sighs against your chest, âyou have the prettiest tits Iâve ever seen,âÂ
You shiver, âYeah?âÂ
âMhm,â His fingers trace a circle around your nipple, and something in the way heâs touching you and the sound of his voice tells you everything. Heâs about to tease you, edge you, make you come, and god willing he was about to fuck you. Yeosang flicks his thumb over your nipple and smiles, âBaby, Iâm going to turn you over, if you want to slow down or stop at anytime you just tell me,âÂ
âI think Iâll be,â You start to say, and then he maneuvers you quickly in his strong arms, gathering you close so he can turn you over on the couch, leaving you lying flat on your back against the cushions. You squeak and the way he pushes your legs together, quickly undoing the buttons on your trousers and pulling down the zip, and he glances up at the sound to check your eyes but finds nothing but your lazy post-orgasm smile.Â
As he kneels and strips your trousers off he groans, âGod,âÂ
âW-whatâs wrong?â You blink, finding his eyes.Â
âAbsolutely nothing,â He smooths his hands up and down your bare legs, âexcept Iâm finding it very difficult not being inside you yet,âÂ
âSo come inside me,â You smile.Â
The corner of his mouth turns up at your words, âAlready, baby? Itâs only the first date,âÂ
You process your words and roll your eyes, âYou know what I meant,âÂ
âI do,â He smiles wider now, âbut you need to come again before I fuck you,âÂ
âNot that Iâm complaining about you touching me,â You gasp sharply as he hooks his thumbs under the sides of your thong and yanks it away, âbut Iâve been daydreaming about your cock for months, so,âÂ
He laughs sharply, tugging his own shirt up and off over his head as he does, âIâm flattered,âÂ
âShut up,â You press your thighs together and let your head flop back onto the cushions.Â
âDarling,â Yeosang says, kissing each of your thighs before he starts to slowly open your legs again, âhow long has it been since youâve been with someone?âÂ
âHonestly?â You grimace, âA while,âÂ
âAnd how long since youâve had anything bigger than your fingers inside you?â He asks it so plainly, so calmly, while he widens your legs and starts to tip you open, another kiss to your inner thigh.Â
You shiver in his hands, âN-not that long,âÂ
âHmm,â He sounds pleased at that, âdo you like using toys when you fuck yourself to my voice?âÂ
âFuck,â You gasp as his finger traces the softest line up and down your slit.Â
âIs that a yes?â He blows a cool stream of air across your throbbing clit and you jerk in his hands.Â
âYes,â You answer quickly.Â
âWhat I wouldnât give to watch that,â He says, kissing your inner thigh again before he continues, âbut still, Iâm probably bigger than your dildo, be patient with me,âÂ
âOh, fuck,â You melt as he presses one finger inside your slick channel.
âRelax,â He soothes you, âjust let go for me,âÂ
You donât know how your life is this strange, how you went from listening to this man through your headphones while you touched yourself under the covers alone at home to his fingers sinking inside you. Youâll probably wake up from this dream with sticky thighs. Thereâs no way this is real.Â
Those are the thoughts that dizzy you until he pushes two fingers flush into your heat and you moan sharply, your hand gripping down on one of the couch throw pillows. He feels pretty real.Â
He groans, gently pumping his middle and ring finger just to get you used to the sensation, âFeel good?âÂ
âSo good,â You sigh.
âHow badly do you need to come, darling?â He asks, continuing the slow and steady thrust of his fingers.Â
âSo badly,â Your voice is whiny, needy, entirely informed by the feverish heat spreading through you.Â
âPretty girl,â He hums, âwith an even prettier pussy,âÂ
âOh, god,â You grip the pillows harder, and heâs barely doing anything to you but your legs are already starting to tremble.Â
âMmm,â His fingers begin to pulse more firmly and you feel his fingers curl, finding the spongy crook of your g-spot with practiced ease, âand you need my cock inside, donât you?âÂ
âAh, yes! Yes,â Pleasure blooms through your body.Â
âSoon,â He promises.Â
You moan again as he repositions, continuing the steady drumbeat of his fingers inside you as he reaches around with his opposite hand to separate your lower lips, the pad of his middle finger now alternating between maddening flicks and taps to your clit.Â
âAh! Yeo,â Your hips rock, âjust like that,âÂ
âGood girl,â He murmurs, âtelling me what you like,âÂ
A tight sensation fills your lower belly, a blossoming heat that spreads from your core up through your body in warm waves, âF-faster,âÂ
âMm,â His thrusting picks up speed instantly, the angle slightly adjusting as he does, âthatâs it,âÂ
The angle chance has his curled fingers pumping against your g-spot hard and suddenly the sensation drops low, almost painfully tight and sharp like youâre on the precipice of something.Â
It occurs to you all at once what heâs trying to do, the way heâs trying to make your body sing, and despite the rolling waves of pleasure and how close you are to your second release, you donât necessarily want the first time you squirt to be on Yeosangâs floor.Â
âB-baby,â You whine, the pet name slipping off your tongue, âIâm gonna, I think, oh fuck,âÂ
âFuck yes,â His fingers flatten down over your clit and he rubs fast, slickly rolling over your firm bud, âlet go,âÂ
âI canât,â You shake your head, sweat breaking out across your brow, âIâve n-never, oh, fuck, Yeosang!â
âCome,â He commands softly, âthatâs it, you come, right here, baby,âÂ
Heâs not stopping, and with the way heâs working you thereâs no way you could even if you tried. In a snap your body releases hard, a sensation like nothing youâve ever felt pulsing through your slick cunt and your legs jerk, hips snapping up as clear fluid pulses out of you. The sound that leaves your lips is wanton, broken and needy, and your ears are very clearly ringing.Â
âOh, fuck,â Yeosang hums, almost to himself, rubbing fast across your soaked slit to help coax every bit of slick from your center, âoh, baby, look at you,âÂ
Your legs try to snap shut at the suddenly sharp overstimulation, but all he does is take that as his cue to stop directly stimulating you and instead drop the warm flat of his tongue over every inch of your glistening pussy. You gasp sharply at the feeling, rolling your head forwards so that you can look down between your legs, and you moan softly at the sight.Â
Heâs buried between your thighs, lazily licking stripes up your inner thighs and over your cunt, but slowly enough that his aim isnât to draw you into another orgasm, he just wants to taste you. To feel you on his tongue and ease you through your little aftershocks.Â
âGod,â You breathe after a moment, âoh, my god,âÂ
He chuckles, kissing the top of your mound, âWas that your first time?âÂ
You nod, still trying to catch your breath.Â
He groans a little, palming his hard cock through his trousers to readjust, âThatâs an ego boost, Iâm not going to lie,âÂ
You manage a laugh despite your dizzy, orgasm fogged brain, âYeah?âÂ
âMhm,â He strokes your thigh, âif youâre not careful I might get addicted to the way you taste when you come,âÂ
A shudder runs through you, âYou canât just say things like that,âÂ
 âItâs not a lie,â He says, âIâd spend a whole night between these thighs if youâll let me,âÂ
âMm,â You sigh, reaching down for him and brushing your fingers through his long, dark hair.Â
âNow?â He cocks his head slightly to the side, âIf you want my mouth, you just have to ask,âÂ
You shake your head, slowly starting to push yourself into a sitting position and slide your hips away from him, âNot tonight,âÂ
âWhat more can I give you tonight?â He murmurs, running his hands up and down your bare thighs, âAnything you want,âÂ
You cup his face, drawing him close to lock your lips on his, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and nuzzling into his nose, âTake me to bed, please, Yeosang,âÂ
âLetâs go,â He agrees, extricating himself from your arms so he can stand and offer you a hand up.Â
You take it, but as you do you realize the wet puddle on the floor in front of the couch and you blush dark red, covering your mouth with your hand, âIâm so sorry,âÂ
âFor what?â He blinks at you, and then follows your nervous eyes.Â
âI didnât realize,â You start to say but he interrupts you with a hard kiss.Â
âRelax,â He says, âif weâre lucky youâll make a mess of my room too,â
âI donât know how I did it,âÂ
He laughs again, âI do,â he smiles, ânow come on, I need to see you in my bed before I combust,âÂ
He tugs your hand, leading you down the hall until youâre in a large master bedroom. Your eyes flick over the details - industrial, warm wood, dark green sheets, soft ambient lighting. Youâre about to comment on it, but he flips you back around to face him and captures your mouth in another hungry kiss.Â
âGod,â He backs you up to the edge of the bed, dropping you down and falling over you, âtell me I can have you,âÂ
âYou have me,â You pant against his mouth, all thoughts of his lovely interior decor gone in an instant when you feel the hard shaft of his cock nestled between your thighs.Â
âI swear next time weâll go slow,â He grinds his hips down, rolling his length up and down your slit, only the thin fabric of his trousers separating you.Â
âPlease,â You buck against him, âI need you right now,âÂ
âFuck,â His hands are hot, searching, âis that right, darling?âÂ
âInside me,â Your hands scramble to find his waistband, âplease,âÂ
He nods, lips still pressed against yours, and then he leans back just enough to undo his trousers and start to push down his pants and boxer briefs.Â
Your mouth runs dry immediately. He wasnât wrong about his size. You have fairly large dildos at home, thick and long and perfect for reaching all the spots you need it to, but Yeosang was bigger, thicker and longer than anything youâve ever had inside you.Â
âCondom?â He manages as he shucks off his pants.Â
You blink, tearing your eyes away from his perfect, aching cock and nod, âWe probably should?âÂ
âRight,â He doesnât push you to make a different choice, he simply searches his nightstand for a moment and produces a foil packet.Â
He strokes his cock twice while he tears the packet open with his teeth, before watching you beneath him as he rolls the condom smoothly down his length, adjusting it so that it fits perfectly.Â
Youâre trembling with anticipation, you can feel it and so can he.Â
ây/n,â He murmurs, leaning over you and pressing a hand beneath your back to finally unclip your bra, âI want you to do something for me,âÂ
You nod, sliding the cardigan and bra off your body and pushing them over the edge of the bed.Â
He grabs a firm looking pillow and folds it in half, âLift your hips for me,âÂ
You lift up and he slides the pillow right under your backside to leave you propped up and open for him.Â
âIf it doesnât feel good,â He murmurs as he maneuvers you into the position he wants, âor if Iâm hurting you at all, just tell me,âÂ
You nod.Â
âAnd I want you to tell me when youâre about to come,â He instructs, âI need to know,âÂ
You nod again, your stomach flipping with desire.Â
He licks his lips, folding your legs open a little wider and slotting himself over you. He settles with one hand on your raised hip, the other braced on the bed by your head, his knees on the edge of the mattress between your splayed thighs.Â
His cock finally, finally, nudges at your entrance and you grip down on the sheets below you.Â
âMm,â He groans, sinking just an inch or two into your tight heat, âyouâre even tighter than I thought,âÂ
He pushes in a little more and you moan at the stretch, âOh, god,âÂ
âDo I feel that good, babygirl?â He teases, pushing in a little more.
âSo good,â You lift your head to watch the way his thick length splits you open.Â
âI am bigger than your toys, arenât I?â He rolls his hips this time, rocking himself deeper with every little thrust.Â
âY-yes,â You nod, your head dropping back to the mattress.Â
âCan you take me, baby?â He murmurs low.Â
âFuck yes,â Your hips buck up again on their own as he opens you up, nearly fully sheathed inside you.Â
âJust a little more,â He says, his hand tightening on your hip, âthere we go, fuck, thatâs it, youâre taking me so beautifully, baby,âÂ
Tears rush to your eyes, not from any kind of discomfort, but just from the overwhelming sensation of him. Youâve never been so full, never been so deliciously stretched and had these parts of you touched, and it rushes a blush to your chest and emotion through your veins.Â
His fingers brush along your jaw, bringing your eyes to his, âGood tears, or should we stop?âÂ
âIf you stop Iâll actually cry,â You laugh, blinking away the hazy sheen in your eyes, âyou feel so fucking good,âÂ
âOh,â He sighs, thrusting gently in and out of you, âwhat a good, good girl, you are,âÂ
âJesus,â You shiver beneath him.Â
âYeah?â He starts to move now, just a bit more, rocking his cock at a steady pace in and out of your wet core, âYou like when I tell you how good you are for me?âÂ
âYes,â You moan, a shock of hot pleasure spiking up from your core, âplease,âÂ
âSuch a good girl letting me fuck her perfect pussy on the first date,â His voice has dropped low again, husky and direct, and you babble out a sound of pleasure as he talks, âso warm and wet,âÂ
âFuck, fuck,â Your eyes roll.Â
He collapses over you a little more, his desperate lips searching for yours and the angle deepens, pushing his cock deeper and deeper inside you with every downward thrust of his hips.Â
You grip his shoulders, nails digging into his warm skin, âBaby,â you pant, âyour cock, oh god,âÂ
He hums against your cheek, head falling slack as his lips find your throat, sucking your pulse points and no doubt searing his mark into your tender skin. He pumps his hips harder and you moan under him, cursing again and scrambling to hold him closer.Â
âSuch a dirty mouth,â He nips at your neck, âare you always like this, or is my cock that special?âÂ
All you can manage is a taught moan in response, his cockhead now continuously connecting with your sweet spot over and over and rendering you unable to string a coherent thought together.Â
He groans at the way your cunt flutters and spasms and he kisses you hard, fingers tangling in your hair, âOne of these days Iâll feel you for real,â he pants, ânothing between my cock and your sweet cunt,âÂ
Your back arches, your mind spinning at the thought, âYeo,â you moan.Â
âFuck,â He chokes, âthe way youâre squeezing me,âÂ
You make a tight sound, something between a pleasured whine and a sob, and his hips stutter and stop, pressing his cock in as deep as possible as he grips down on whatever parts of you he can, breathing hot and heavy against your skin.Â
You canât really move well in this position, but your hips rock in tiny back and forth motions to try and keep the sensation rolling through you. Heâs panting into your shoulder, clearly trying to keep himself from coming too soon, and your mind commits to an idea before you have a second to double check yourself.Â
âYeo,â You tap his arm, âbaby I need to move,âÂ
He pushes off you, his cock sliding out of your soaked core and you leg your legs straighten out, âWhatâs wrong,âÂ
The words are barely off his tongue before youâre sitting up, grabbing his hand and drawing him back to the bed, pushing him onto his back with a guiding hand to his shoulder. He lets you lead, watching you as you put him where you want him this time, and he smiles, eyes flicking over you appreciatively.Â
âI need you,â Is all the explanation you can give, and maybe with a stranger this is foolish, borderline stupid, but you know him. Heâs not a stranger really, not to you.Â
With a feverish pulse of need inside you, you shift to straddle his hips, and with quick, sure hands you roll the condom up from the base of his cock and toss it to the side.Â
ây/n,â He manages, but youâre lifting yourself over him now and his hands fly up to brace your waist, âare you sure?âÂ
âSo sure,â You connect his cockhead with your slick hole and drop your hips down fast, taking the whole hard length of him inside you in one smooth motion.Â
Itâs his turn to moan, his head dropping back at the sensation of your wet walls and he grips at you, his hips stuttering beneath you.Â
âGod,â He bucks up into you, âyouâre perfect,âÂ
âSo are you,â You rock against him, finding the perfect place for your hands on his chest, âyouâre so deep,âÂ
He moans again, and when you start to bounce up and down he curses tightly.Â
âJ-just donât come inside me,â You keep bouncing, a steady fluid motion in your hips that you can tell is driving him crazy, but you have to keep your head at least a little.Â
âF-fuck,â He groans, his jaw tightening as his eyes flick down to the place your bodies are joined together, âyouâre making that kind of difficult,â
âI just wanted to feel you,â Your shaking arms buckle a little and you find yourself flush against his chest while you work his cock.Â
âMe too,â His hands find your ass again and he starts to direct the pace, âGod, I could fuck you forever,âÂ
A moan drops from your mouth, your hands tightening on his chest.Â
âDonât stop,â He urges you, and you realize your hips slowed at his words, âyou feel so good riding me like that,âÂ
Your thighs are burning already, but you hardly care, every fast shift up and down leaves you closer and closer, âLove you cock,âÂ
âMm, yeah? Say that again,âÂ
âI,â You curse as a spike of pleasure rolls through you, âfuck, I love your cock,âÂ
âGood girl,â He grips you tight, his hips jutting up to meet you now.Â
Your pace falters slightly, âPlease, please,âÂ
âIâve got you,â He adjusts just enough to hold you steady as he fucks up into your tight heat, âIâve got you,âÂ
You moan, dropping your head into his chest and shuddering against him, âBaby, oh fuck,âÂ
âA-are you close, jagi?â He pants, fingers digging into your hips so hard you know youâll have bruises.Â
âDonât stop,â You beg, âplease, god, donât stop,âÂ
He groans, keeping the pace of his thrusts and using his hands on your ass to maneuver you to meet his hips.Â
âShit,â You shudder in his arms, your orgasm fast approaching, âIâm coming,âÂ
âCome here,â He shifts you fast, rolling you up and off him and manhandling you up to your feet.Â
You make a surprised noise at the lack of him inside you when you were getting so close, but you donât have to worry for very long. Before you can open your mouth he has you standing, facing away from him, and bent over ninety degrees to brace your hands on the bed.Â
He thrusts back inside you sharply, slamming his hips into yours and leaving you moaning and curling in on yourself, your legs starting to tremble.Â
âCome on my cock, pretty girl,â He palms your ass before planting his hands on your hips and using the leverage to pull you back into each of his thrusts, âyouâre so close,âÂ
Your eyes slam shut, fisting the sheets as you hang on, every sharp push of his cock driving deeper and deeper. Youâre going to have bruises, youâre going to be sore, but none of it matters when heâs making you feel this good.Â
You sob out a moan, collapsing forward into the bedding but he holds you up, âI canât,âÂ
âYes, you can,â He pants, his sweat slick skin connecting again and again with yours.Â
âFuck,â You groan, âIâm almost, Iâm so,âÂ
âTouch your yourself,â He directs, interrupting your pleasured ramblings, ârub your clit for me, baby,âÂ
You slide a hand between your legs, locating your slick bud with ease and rolling your fingers over it quickly.Â
âFuck, there you are,â He groans, âthatâs right, baby, come on my cock,âÂ
The same new sensation drops in your gut, your legs start to shake and youâre fairly sure that without his sure hands youâd be crumbling.Â
âThatâs it,â He coaxes you up, never once slowing the sharp snaps of his hips, âthere you go, thatâs my good girl,âÂ
Something unravels in your gut and you come with a shout, folding in on yourself as your legs quake and your mind whites out. Yeosang wraps his arms around you, curling over your back to keep you steady, and his cock slips free so he can stimulate you through your orgasm with his fingers, more liquid pulsing out of you as he fucks you over the edge.Â
Youâre a quivering mess, and he lets you drop into the sheets, pushing you onto your back so he can stand over you, one hand fisting his slick cock.Â
âIâm coming,â He groans, âw-where?âÂ
Your hands cup your breasts automatically, and you arch up to offer yourself to him, âOn me, baby, come all over me,âÂ
Yeosang groans sharply, his hips thrusting into his tight grip as ropes of silvery white cum paint your skin, covering your belly and breasts and dripping down your chest. Heâs panting, his skin flushed pink and sweat covering every inch of his toned chest.Â
It takes you both a moment to recover, both trembling in the same position as you try to regain your breath, but after a few moments he smiles a hazy, satisfied smile and finds your eyes, âYouâre so beautiful,âÂ
Suddenly you feel a bit shy, even despite everything youâve just done together.Â
âSo beautiful,â He sighs again, pushing his hair back out of his face, and then he drops to his knees.Â
He hushes your soft protests and this time he tastes you slowly, but with intention. After such rough, intense sex, he follows it with the softest, slowest orgasm youâve ever had. With slow sucks and gentle licks he brings you through a languid rolling wave that softens your limbs and leaves you sleepy and pliant in the sheets. Â
You drift, falling into sleep too easily for a first date in a sort of strangerâs apartment.Â
You wake a little later to a warm sensation on your skin, and you blink your eyes open to see Yeosang sitting next you, freshly showered and wearing black sweatpants and a familiar blank tank top. He draws the wet washcloth over your skin and then stops and smiles when he sees your eyes open.Â
âHey,â He murmurs.Â
âHi,â You reply softly, âI didnât mean to fall asleep,âÂ
He shakes his head, âDonât be sorry,âÂ
âI think you scrambled my brain a little,â You laugh, covering your face with your hands.Â
âHopefully in a good way,â He nudges you.Â
âBeyond good,â You look up at him, âare you kidding?âÂ
He smiles a little wider, âGood,â he says, âI drew you a bath,âÂ
âOh,â Your eyebrows raise.Â
âI thought you might be sore,â He explains, âI know I was a little rough, I hope youâre not feeling it too much,âÂ
You shake your head, âJust a little, but in a good way,âÂ
He nods, âDoes the bath sound nice, or would you prefer a shower?âÂ
âBath is perfect,â You can see that heâs suddenly a little nervous, back to the same man from your date, no trace of Ryuâs husky tones.Â
âHere,â He offers you his hands to help you up, and guides you towards the connected bathroom suite. Itâs large, crisp and clean, and in the corner stands a large spa-like tub filled high with warm water.Â
âThank you,â You murmur as he helps you slip into the cocoon of water, the subtle scent of lavender wafting up from the steam.Â
âMhm,â He nods, pulling a bamboo stool from the side of the sink and setting it down so he can sit at the edge of the tub and be at eye level with you.Â
âThis is nice,â You murmur, still finding yourself a little shy in the post-orgasm clarity of it all.Â
Heâs quiet for a moment, his fingertips dragging over the surface of the water and then he bites his lip.Â
Your stomach sinks for a moment, nerves coming back tenfold at the idea that maybe heâd prefer you to go after this, maybe this is all youâd ever have. Maybe he reconsidered what you know about his online persona and maybe he wasnât willing to take the leap.Â
ây/n,â He sighs, âthis might be forward,âÂ
You look up from the rippling water.Â
âBut what do you think about staying the night? We could order some dessert, maybe keep getting to know each other a little?â He asks.Â
You canât fight the smile that blooms over your face, âI thought you might have changed your mind,âÂ
âNo,â He reaches into the water to find your hand, twining your fingers together, ânot at all.âÂ
âYeah?â You squeeze his hand.Â
âIâd be crazy to let this be a one-time thing,â He lifts your hand from the bath and presses a kiss to the back, âI hope you feel the same.âÂ
âI really do,â You twist to the side, leaning over to find his mouth and lock your lips together.Â
Yeosang cups your cheek, deepening the kiss tenderly, his tongue sweeping against yours, âWhat are you doing tomorrow night, then?âÂ
âTomorrow?â You lean back a little.Â
âLet me take you out again,â He kisses you again, softly this time, âIâm probably supposed to wait a few days, Wooyoung would tell me I seem too eager, but,âÂ
âWho cares about that?â You grin, leaning out of the bath far enough to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him, âItâs a date,âÂ
âAnd Sunday?â His hands slide down your back.Â
You nuzzle his nose with yours, âI have a date,âÂ
âOh,â He says, deflating instantly.Â
âYou might know him,â You tease, âhe owns this lovely little cafe,âÂ
He laughs, his forehead leaning on yours, âYouâre mean,âÂ
I want to talk about my pov on this scene specifically, regardless of it being one of my favorite scenes in the second season (because Tom performed it)
First, Aegon nodded, a gesture that shows the other person that he is interested, listening and will try to understand them, and it is very touching because Aegon wasnt raised in an environment that cares about listening to him and there was no healthy dialogue with healthy gestures. Secondly, his tone of voice was soothing and reassuring, even though Aegon is a noisy person, he is trying to become a king close to his people. He is really trying. And what I noticed and was amazed by was how his smile disappeared after the word (your king), i think that he remembered the huge burden that his grandfather and mother had placed on his shoulders, He knows this is not his place. He should have been listened to when he refused the position, just as he listens to his people.
HI feel free to ignore this but if you are open for requesting, I'd love a fic with Clancy and reader smut? Maybe Clancy coming back from a long mission away from the Bandito camp and reader is a Bandito/his partner who is just excited to see him, but Clancy is really pent up and barely gives them a chance to say hi before he's dragging reader off/away from the camp. Masked sex with possible deepthroating as Clancy fucks readers mouth ensues? Or pushes them against a tree? Either way the mask stays on because he doesn't have time and he's riled up >3
Clancy Comes (Back to Trench)
Word count : 1538
Ao3
Warnings: if you couldnât tell based off the request this is pure smut!! Youâve been warned!
Enjoy đ€
Energy in the camp buzzed with the announcement that Clancy was finally coming back to trench. Anxiety and excitement mingled inside you as you waited for him. He had been gone for weeks, on a mission to scout out Dema with a few other banditos.
You tried to keep your excitement off your face as you paced around camp aimlessly because no one except the Torchbearer knew about your relationship with Clancy. You had decided it would be better to keep it a secret in order to protect you in case the bishops ever came looking for something to hurt him indirectly.
Stopping near the large fire at the center of camp, you rubbed your bare shoulders, having forgotten your jacket back in the tent you were just wearing a plain white t-shirt, black cargo pants, and black boots.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of staring off into the darkness beyond the camp's border you spotted a tiny pinprick of fire moving its way towards you. It was the torchbearer leading Clancy back home. Everyone around you seemed to notice as well as they started to stir with excitement, no doubt hoping for good news from him about the rebellion. The pit that dug itself in your stomach everytime he left slowly started to fill itself in as he approached, he was safe. Thatâs all that really mattered to you.
As they strided into camp, loud cheers of excitement filled the air as they congratulated Clancy on another successful mission, you stood off to the side out of the way and watched, arms folded over your chest. While you wished you could run into his arms you knew that you had to keep your ruse up for a little bit longer.
â(Y/N),â you jumped when you heard your name, not realizing Clancy was now standing right in front of you, his eyes locked onto you which was all you could see apart from his mask. Scanning over you quickly before he grabbed your wrist and started pulling you away into the direction of the distant treeline on the edge of camp.
âWoah hey, is everything alright?â You said nervously as he pulled you along, he didnât say anything but his grip tightened on you.
You could feel your heart pounding in your chest with anxiety. The other banditos were definitely staring but you found yourself not caring. Once you had just made it into the cover of the trees, he released your wrist. His eyes locked onto yours with intensity as his hands started undoing with his belt Immediately your eyes widened when you realized what was about to happen, feeling a tingle between your legs as you swallowed in anticipation.
âOn your knees (Y/N).â He commanded and you immediately fell, his tone leaving no room for argument as he spoke.
Your eyes locked onto his already evident bulge as he pulled his cock out of the confines of his pants, before his hand found the back of your head and pushed you forward.
You didnât need any more encouragement than that, taking it in one hand you wrapped your lips around it, tasting the familiar tangy saltiness of him. Licking the precum off the tip and savoring the flavor.
Clancy groaned, throwing his head back against the tree, his hands wrapping themselves in your hair at the roots and tugging, making you moan around him. You worked on him with your tongue first, swirling and sucking on the sensitive tip before you felt him tug on your hair harder, urging you.
âTake my cock in your throat like the good girl I know you are, (Y/N).â He said as he pressed it deepe. Resisting the urge to gag on it, your eyes watered as you made eye contact with him.
He fucked your throat with little mercy, salvia dripping down your chin as you tried to keep
Your composure, bracing your hands on his hips as he fucked your mouth.
Pulling off him for a moment he let you catch your breath, âTouch yourself.â He commanded. Your heart stopped at his words and you felt yourself throb with need. Quickly undoing the button on your pants and slip a hand inside, pushing aside your soaked panties to find the throbbing bundle of nerves begging for attention.
âMmmâŠâ you moaned, feeling Clancy press his cock against your lips again impatiently, you pressed your fingers against your clit as he watched, his pupils blown out with lust.
Taking him in your mouth again you swirl your tongue in time with your fingers, Clancy's fingers knotting themselves in your hair taking full control of your mouth.
You could feel yourself building to your climax and just as youâre about to tip over the edge, Clancy snatches your wrist stopping your ministrations, and pulls his dripping cock out of your mouth as you try to catch your breath.
Kneeling on the ground, he positions himself between your legs as he yanks off your boots and unbuttones your pants before pulling everything off, baring your soaked center to him. He hooked your legs around his waist and positioned his cock against your entrance before snapping his hips into you in one quick motion, bottoming out inside of you with a guttural moan.
One hand dug into your hip and the other pressed against your clit making your writhe around him.
âFuck, (Y/N), your cunt was made for me. Made to be fucked and filled by me.â He thrust into you at an impossible speed, making it impossible to stay quiet as you held your hand against your mouth to keep the whole camp from hearing you get your brains fucked out.
Lifting your hips up he adjusted the angle so he could thrust deeper into you, the new angle pressing deliciously against the spot that made your toes curl. With half lidded eyes you watched in a haze as he plowed into you, admiring just how gorgeous he looked even though you could only see his piercing glare through the mask.
You could feel the coil inside you tightening impossibly until it finally snapped, sending you over the edge with a mind numbing orgasm.
The feeling of you clenching around his cock was enough to send him over the edge too, gripping both legs with bruising strength and bottoming out inside of you as his cock pulsed with his release, sending hot spurts of cum deep inside you.
You fell back onto the grass with heaving breaths, Clancy untangling himself from you before standing up and readjusting himself into his pants.
He reached out a hand for you to grab and helped you stand on admittedly wobbly legs, then handing you your pile of discarded clothes to put back on.
Clancy leaned against the tree and silently watched as you redressed yourself, cringing slightly as the still soaked panties you had to put back on. Youâd need to go to your tent to clean up as soon as possible.
Once you were fully dressed, Clancy stepped over to you, inspecting you closely and smoothing your hair.
You pulled him into a hug and buried your face into his chest, while he stood still, clearly surprised.
âI missed you, and Iâm glad you're safeâŠâ you said what you wanted to say before he pulled you away.
Looking up at him you met his eyes, he reached up and pulled off his mask, before capturing your lips in his for the first time in weeks.
You melted into the kiss as he held you, rubbing his hands along the bare skin of your arms.
âI missed you too, (Y/N). Youâre all I could think about while I was gone⊠It was distracting.â He said with a small smirk. âWhy arenât you wearing a jacket?â
You hadnât realized how much the temperature was dropping now that it was getting later in the evening.
âI just forgot it, and I didnât want to miss you coming back.â
He smiled at you and sighed before stepping back and sliding off his black jacket, revealing his toned tattooed arms that you loved. holding it out to you, gesturing for you to let him help you put it on.
You eyed the bright red tape on the shoulders that only he had.
âAre you sure Clancy? I donât want them to find out⊠you know, about us?â
âI donât care (Y/N). If I cared I wouldnât have pulled you away in front of everyoneâŠâ he trailed off as he slid the jacket onto you. It smelled so perfectly like him you fought the urge to take a deep whiff of it.
He smiled when he saw how you looked on his jacket. Cheeks flushed still from your encounter, he captured your mouth once more and kissed you deeply.
When you reluctantly pulled away he pressed one more soft kiss to your forehead, before he pulled his mask back on.
âLetâs get back to camp and get you warm.â
âYes Sir.â You said a little mischievously, watching for a reaction and being satisfied when his eyes widened.
âBe careful with that mouth of yours (Y/N), youâre going to have a long night.â
Thankyou for your never ending patience with my slow writing I hope yall enjoy this!! I should be releasing 1 more Tyler x reader for Halloween đ€ and then up next after that is plus size reader x josh! Canât wait for you all to see what else I have planned! Requests are open cause I love getting ideas lol.
Request: how about in season 3 when Sihtric 'betrays' Uhtred to go and spy on the danes, you try to stop him from taking the captives and then in the morning even though he doesn't mean it Uhtred scolds you in front of everyone for just 'letting him go'
Warning: Use of the word whore in a derogatory manner.
My very first time writing for this character I hope I did him justice.
Requests are open.
Sihtric was becoming more solemn with each sip, an uneasy expression crossing his face.
One you were not used to seeing, one that made you, in turn, uneasy.
Finan was barely able to stay awake, head propped up on his hand and you were yearning for Uhtred to finally release you all so you could away to bed.Â
Having checked on Osferth already, your eyes were heavy and your heart was weary, you would never admit to another soul that you had cried tears beside the sleeping baby monk earlier, death had come a little too close for your liking and until Skade had lifted her curse, you were afraid for your friends that itâs boney arms would try to snatch another one of them away before their time. Â
You released a breath you didnât realise you were holding as Uhtred approached your table.Â
You watched in horror as the arguing began between Uhtred and Sihtric, reaching out a hand to stay Sihtric and shrinking when he swatted it away, as Uhtred got up to leave.
âSihtric, you are drunk and tired,â Finan hissed and you silently urged Sihtric with your eyes not to continue down this path.
You were both equally horrified when Uhtred swung back around, informing Sihtric he was welcome to leave if he was unhappy in his service.
You and Finan were out of your seats quicker than the blink of an eye when Sihtric rounded on Unthred, raising his voice âI have fought for you!â
âSihtric please, please donât do this,â you pleaded, hands on his chest attempting to push him back towards his seat and he swung wildly free from your grasp with a snarl.Â
You turned, silently pleading with Uhtred when he spat âStay or go I do not care,â you could not hide the hurt that etched across your face.Â
âHe does not mean that. He does care.â Finan tried to appease, urging everyone to sit back down.Â
âIf you wish to make the square Uhtred of Bebbanburgh, let us do it.â
âNo,â you and Finan cried out in unison âThere will be no squares made, no fighting, just sleep!â Finan pleaded.Â
After Uhtredâs threat to kill Sihtric if he was still here in the morning you heard your blood pound in your ears.Â
You scurried after Uhtred, catching him just as he made it outside.
âUhtred,â you called but he made no reply âLord,â you cried out this time more urgent and when he finally turned to face you, you could see the venom in his eyes.
âYou canât mean it, please?âÂ
âEvery word,â he spat âAnd if that displeases you little one, you may follow.âÂ
You shrank back from him eyes stinging at the betrayal and burst your way back into the tavern.Â
You took a seat beside a defeated Finan. Sihtric was refusing to face either of you. Turning his attention instead to the Danes. You grasped at Finanâs hand a silent plea to reassure you that everything was going to be okay, and he shook his head, eyes softening when he took in your huge, worried ones staring back. He couldnât reassure you, because he couldnât even reassure himself.Â
You were sitting by Osferthâs side, sleep had long evaded you with the worry pitting in your stomach and for the first time in your life you prayed to the gods that morning would not come, your only hope at preventing the inevitable fall out from this night.
You saw the flicker of shadows and the muffled sound of steps pass Osferthâs window and realised with a start that the Danes were escaping and grabbing your sword you set off in pursuit, you arrived just as Sihtric was about to mount his horse.
âSihtric,â you cried out in disbelief âWhat is this?â You demanded, angrily holding the sword up to his chest, whilst the rest of the Danes looked on.
You watched as his expression hardened âI am leaving, as has been commanded,â he spat.
âYou began this course, Sihtric. I begged you. As I am begging you now. Please do not do this.âÂ
âIt is done,â he said with a finality, eyes softening only for a second when he registered the tears in your eyes.
âPut down the sword, y/n,â he urged, grasping your weapon by the blade and easing it down, âWe both know you will not harm me. I leave tonight, come with me if you wish. You know I will care for you and keep you safe but I will offer this only once.â
âYou know I canât,â you cried begging him with your eyes âPlease stay here. With me,â
âYou know I canât,â he countered softly, before his eyes hardened again, âStay with Uhtred or come with me. Make your decision now and make it quick.â
You shook your head as tears freely slipped down your face and he nodded with a snarl, before turning and mounting his horse âAnd so you have made it, as I have made mine,â he kicked his horse into action and you watched in horror as the Danes did the same, leaving you amidst the chaos of hooves and dust.Â
Finan burst into your room at first light and one look at your disheveled appearance told him everything he needed to know.
âI couldnât stop him,â you cried into his chest âHe wouldnât stay.âÂ
âHush now, itâs alright,â the Irish man soothed rubbing patterns onto your back âYouâre alright. Iâve got ya.â
Osferth was well enough to make it to the Alehouse and was delighting in having you and Finan fetch him anything he needed, namely ale.Â
Silence descended when Uhtred returned back, as he and Finan embraced and he informed him Sihtric was gone, you watched in silence as he embraced Osferth and then his eyes like lightning found yours, and you quickly turned your gaze to the floor.Â
âI tried to stop him lord,â was all you could mutter.
âYou let him escape,â he answered back quickly âAnd the prisoners,â
âYes, lord,â you confirmed and he made a tutting noise, followed by a long sigh.
âShe was one girl against a band of Danes,â Osferth argued on your behalfÂ
âShe was one girl, in love with one Dane,â Uhtred fired back and you felt your body light on fire with shame amidst the laughter that broke out among the men.
Your voice shook as you wrung your hands together âBut I chose you, and I wonât fail you again lord,âÂ
Uhtred softened at this, his expression melting, and he nodded your way with a soft, reassuring smile before he pulled you into a quick embrace.Â
âIt is done, little one,â he whispered affectionately and you felt the weight of seven worlds fall off your shoulders.Â
Sihtricâs betrayal, the men and Osferth to your horror were calling it. As though Uhtred was the Christian nailed god, and Sihtric were Judas, you knew thirty pieces of silver had not been exchanged but maybe that would have made his desertion somewhat more understandable than a few heated words. But if Uhtred was Christ and Sihtric was Judas, you had become Mary Magdalene, the whore of the story. Sihtricâs whore to be precise, thatâs what some of the men had taken to sneering at you, and one even spat as you were readying your horse to ride to the Dane camp alongside Uhtred, âSihtricâs whore.â
You hunkered down in the overgrowth amongst the men watching the Dane camp, heart hammering in your chest. You knew Sihtric was within the camp and you knew that there would be no hesitation to kill him from the group of men you lay beside. You had tried to convince yourself that you would be able to hurt him if it came to it, but you knew deep down you would rather run the blade through yourself than harm him. Even after it all. Even now.
It was Finan who had sat beside you last night, your eyes tired and face gaunt and he bumped your shoulder in his merry way before taking your hand in his. Sometimes you thought Finan was the only one who truly saw how much you were suffering Sihtricâs loss.
Truth be told he had been teasing Sihtric for months about you, any man would have to be blind to not see the way Sihtric looked at you. He was your shadow ever since the day you joined the group. Always by your side, always prepared to help you up or down from your horse. He never returned with a mug of ale for himself, without one for you too.He always strategically set your tent up closer to the fire, sneaking you more furs and food rations when he thought you werenât looking.
Finan had been sure the Dane was smitten by you, and he watched your regard for the Dane grow by the day. You tended all his wounds with tender hands and you oftentimes braided his hair, humming softly to yourself as your hands worked gently through his soft curls. In the evenings of merriment, he would watch your body lean almost subconsciously towards Sihtric and your eyes, half-hooded, always seemed to be memorizing his face when he wasnât looking at you.
âYou know heâs going to be there,â he murmured softly and squeezed your hand reassuringly.
âI know,â you sniffed resolutely, âIâve made my peace with it, and should the moment arise I am prepared.â
Finan squeezed your hand again once for good measure and left you with your mug of ale.
âSomeoneâs coming!â Finan shushed and a hush ran through your camp.Â
âIt is Sihtric,â Osferth gasped and you felt your stomach drop to your toes.Â
âYou have something to say to me boy?â Uhtred demanded and Sihtric approached further, steely determination across the features you knew so well.Â
âYield to me,â he commanded and pressed his sword towards Uhtredâs chest, you were sprung like a coil ready to unleash if needed you watched Finan do the same. You were reminded of that night in the alehouse when you and Finan had acted in unison to try to prevent this.Â
You watched in horror as Uhtred and Sihtric erupted into laughter and moved to embrace each other, amidst Osferthâs joyful announcing that they had been playing you all.Â
âI fooled you,â Sihtric beamed to Finan who was almost stuttering in disbelief claiming to have known it was all a jest all along. Finan, Osferth and Sihtric took their turns embracing each other but you were rooted to the spot. You felt the world spinning like you were going to be sick and you pushed yourself through the men until you breached the last line and you were spilling your guts out onto the forest floor.Â
A pair of mismatched eyes searched the crowd for you, his face scrunching when he was unable to find you, and then turned his attention back to Uhtred as they formulated their plan for the night.
âYouâve never failed me Sihtric, I will see you at the tree,â you heard Uhtred utter proudly and then your legs gave way.
It was Finan who found you trembling at the back of the pack,âGood jaysus,â he mumbled before hoisting you up and patting you down before Uhted called him away. There would be time to sort this all out once this night had passed.Â
You followed through the long grass, fleeing to the ships following Sihtricâs lead. Uhtred had secured Skade and you were being pursued by Haestonâs Danes. You cut down any Dane who stood between you and the ship, jumping with ease and landing into strong arms that pulled you to the safety within, you punched at Sihtric's chest urging him to let go and were glad when he relented, turning instead to steady the men who were fleeing onboard. You pulled with all your might under Finanâs shouted orders, boring daggers into the back of the man you loved sitting in front of you.Â
Osferth was too weak too row and your arms were screaming with pain, having rowed through the night. The oars were beginning to blister your hands but you refused to give in.
Sihtric had tried to sneak glances over his shoulder at you but you refused to meet his eye. Instead turning all your anger and wasted worry into ensuring you kept rowing.
Your aching body was relieved to finally moor in Coccham, swatting Sihtricâs hand away as he attempted to help you from the boat.
âPlease, yân,â he muttered, trying to to meet your eye, but relented when you pushed by him, icy anger in your veins.Â
As you began the ride back to Winchester you were solemn. You had barely spoken a word to anyone and Finan regarded you with worry across his features.
âYou could have told her,â Finan swiped at Sihtric, âOf all of us, you could have told her.â
âHow could I?â Sihtric sighed, running a tired hand across his face.
âYou didnât see the way the men treated her for allowing you to escape.âÂ
Sihtric froze, eyes wild, urging Finan to continue.
âThey called her whore Sihtric. Your whore. They thought she had betrayed Uhted and she thought she had too. She barely ate or slept, and now you turn up and all is forgiven, But she has endured the brunt of yours and Uhtredâs decisions.âÂ
Sihtric watched you ride wearily, he could see the defeat in the way you held yourself and he wanted nothing more than to take back all the hurt he had caused you, but he startled at the thought that you might not let him.
In Winchester you all settled in the alehouse, the lodgings above adequate enough for the rest you needed, You barely picked at the stew you were given and Finan took the spot beside you.
âLady,â he sighed âYou need to eat, come on, even just a few spoonfuls more.â
You shook your head and he grabbed the spoon, diving it into the food and bringing it up towards your mouth âCome ooon,â he urged âLook how delicious this is, open up that pretty mouth of yours and take a bite.â You couldnât suppress the laugh that escaped your lips when he all but shoved the spoon into your mouth and he quickly chased it with another.
âFinan, you are feeding me like a mother feeds a babe,â you giggled, the first time he had heard that sound in weeks.
âWell be and good babe, and take another bite, and I will stop mothering you.âÂ
You swiped your spoon back and finished off the rest of your bowl.
âHappy, mother hen?â you teased and he wiped the corner of your mouth with his thumb.
âHappy,â he conceded.
âFinan,â you sighed and he hummed and you scooted up in your seat to rest your body against his, taking the hint he wrapped his arms around you, placing his chin on your head, pulling you closer.
âYou were the only one who stood by me. You stopped me from falling apart.âÂ
âNothing you havenât done for me a thousand times over, love.â he all but whispered into your hair.Â
Someone clearing their throat pulled your attention away from Finanâs warmth and you were shocked to see a rather meek looking Sihtric standing at the table, a bunch of flowers in hand.
âCan I talk with you lady? Please?â he begged.
Finan gave you a reassuring tap and slid away from you.
âOutside?â he begged again.
And even though you didnât want to, your feet were moving of their own accord.
You walked a little in silence together and eventually you realised you were going to have to make the first move.Â
âSihtric, can you please just say whatever it is you wish to say to me, I am cold and I am tired.â
It was like he was burned into action, shrinking off his cloak and wrapping it around your shoulders before you could protest, and he all but pressed the flowers into your hands.Â
âIâm sorry,â he whispered gently âI am sorry for leaving you. For allowing all the blame to be placed upon your shoulders and I am sorry for demanding you choose between Uhtred and I.âÂ
âWhy did you do it?â you pleaded and he wanted to drop to his knees before you.
âI hoped..I hoped you would choose me. I would have confessed it all to you if you had come. But I understand why you could not.âÂ
âThey called me your whore Sihtric,â you cried, unable to stop the tears welling in your eyes, âAnd now you press these flowers into my hand and you say you are sorry but I have come to realise that maybe..maybe my regard for you is stronger than yours for me and I am no longer willing to be Sihtricâs whore.âÂ
The name was especially unfair, when you considered you had never so much as pressed your lips to Sihtricâs, let alone lay with him.Â
âYou are no whore,â Sihtric spat, sinking to his knees in front of you, âBut I am a fool, that is true. A coward who should have told you long before this day that you are the light of my life. Ever since the day we met I have loved you and if you think I do not regard you in the highest form possible, you are wrong.â
You bit at your lip, allowing the tears to fall freely now.
âI have asked for Uhtredâs permission, and now I ask for yours, forget the name Sihtricâs whore and become Sihtricâs wife. Let me never leave you in doubt of my devotion to you again. Let me worship you. Let me be loyal to you. Let me fight for you. Let me love you.âÂ
He moved closer to you on his knees, grasping your hips in his hands resting his head against your stomach âLet us raise pups who look like me but have all the best of you. Let me love you.â he repeated âBe my wife.âÂ
âYou hurt me, Sihtric.â you all but whimpered, but already your free hand was tracing the scar across his face tenderly all resolve melting.
âI hurt you this once my love and I will never, ever hurt you again. On Thorâs hammer,â he grasped at the pendant he wore around his neck and his two mismatched eyes bore up into your own.
âBe my wife.â he pleaded again.
âSihtricâs wife,â you repeated and you were nodding furiously âYes, yes Sihtric I will be your wife.â
He rose up furiously to crush his lips against yours, pulling you off your feet as he swung you around, the flowers falling from your grasp as you laughed through the tears.
âYou are really mine?â you cried cupping his grinning face in your hands.
âFrom the moment I met you, I have been yours.âÂ
If I see anybody talking about Ewan Mitchell and/or his body in any type of negative way just know that you are an incredibly insufferable human being, how you could talk about another person so horribly is beyond me! It is not a chore to be kind ITS FUCKING HUMAN DECENCY!!! Ewan showed a vulnerable part of himself to us and for you (if you have) to take advantage of that in such a hateful way is truly devastating; hopefully people can learn to be more kind, understanding and respectful to others, if not maybe you should take a long look within yourself and find that you are the problem.
