i don't do bad sauce passes
wallacepolsom
Today's Document
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

ellievsbear

Andulka
Cosimo Galluzzi
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE
Not today Justin
Mike Driver
ojovivo

Discoholic 🪩
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
sheepfilms

@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe
AnasAbdin

seen from South Korea

seen from Canada

seen from United Kingdom
seen from T1

seen from United States

seen from Spain

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia
seen from Finland

seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from Iraq
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from France

seen from United Arab Emirates
@oujideredere
i’m really bored with my first name
your name is now crab78
Penis time!
Penis time!
Penis time!
Penis time!
Oh shit why didn't I think of that?
Do you ever look at your pet and go holy shit that is a little beast moving and doing things of its own volition. In my home
transparent change of heart
Need to smoke a blunt with this bitch
unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you
“go ahead and mingle” are four of the scariest words in the english language thank you and goodnight
I read that capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it's burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat, and menthol works by doing the same thing to cold
So if I eat a habanero pepper and then chew a bunch of breath mints they'll each other out and I'll be fine
Hey guess what hellfire tastes like
Fun fact! The nerve endings for "ouch too hot" and "ouch too cold" are different! Which means that they can both be activated at once, without cancelling out. Rip OP.
So I just went with my buddy while he got a rib tattoo, and they hurt like a lot, so he’s over there grimacing and being a huge manbaby so I just reach over and grab his hand so he can squeeze it because I’m a good person who helps others
And he’s clinging to my hand like it’s a life preserver and I’m being me and talking about nonsense like Grimace from the McDonalds commercials and how R2D2 is always ready to throw hands, and whatever, and the artist keeps glancing over at me and I’m like do your tattoo bro I’ve got my buddy handled
But then I realize he’s like, looking over because he can’t tell if he’s seeing something or not, and I glance down and I see my rainbow scalemail bracelet, and how I’m talking to my buddy all fondly and I’m like stroking his arm like he’s a wounded animal, and right as it clicks in my head the tattoo artist asks in his most nonchalant voice possible, like intentionally bland, I’m just talking about the weather haha what do you mean voice:
“So, are you guys close?”
And my gay ass is over to the side internally screaming because yeah, I am gay, but like this is just me being a good bro and my buddy is COMPLETELY OBLVIOUS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE HE’S A GARBAGE STRAIGHT PERSON AND HE SAYS
“Yeah of course, that’s why I asked him to come”
SO NOW THE TATTOO ARTIST THINKS HE’S RIGHT AND HE HAS A GAY COUPLE GETTING A TATTOO AND MY BUDDY HAS NO IDEA AND I’M AWKWARDLY SITTING HERE LIKE SHOULD I STOP HOLDING HIS HAND??? SHOULD I CORRECT THIS TATTOO ARTIST??? SHOULD I LET MY BUDDY KNOW??? MY GAY ASS DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE BEING INCORRECTLY ACCUSED OF BEING GAY, WHAT DO YOU DO
So that tattoo artist is like “Cool man, that’s great. Good for you.”
So then my buddy is like can I get some water, and the guy comes back with one bottle of water and my buddy takes a drink and then hands it to me, and I’m like obviously he has to lay down and needs me to hold his water so I just hold it in my hand, but turns out he was offering me water, so he turns to me and is like Colton, drink some water, and I take a drink and my garbage lizard brain is like “You’re drink sharing in front of the tattoo artist, now he KNOWS he’s right”
So we’re talking about tattoos with the artist and I mention that I’m getting a tattoo in September and my buddy is like “Yeah I’m gonna go and hold HIS hand for that one haha” and the tattoo artist FUCKING SAYS “I mean, I should hope so”
I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO
I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO
AND NO ONE ACTUALLY BROUGHT IT UP. I KNEW WHAT THE TATTOO ARTIST WAS THINKING BUT DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO CORRECT HIM. NOW WHEN MY BUDDY GOES BACK AND GETS HIS NEXT TATTOO IN THE FUTURE AND I’M NOT THERE HE’S GOING TO GO “OH WHERE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND”
IT’S BACK IT’S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I LAST SAW IT
wholesome story :)
When he was a guest on Game Grumps, he told a story about playing Wii for the first time. It was at one of these big music industry person party things and he was just trying to fit in and relax. Someone suggested trying out this new crazy motion controlled video game called Wii. They fired up Wii Bowling and Al promptly (accidentally) threw the controller at the TV as hard as he could
I cannot believe the wii warning sillhouette guy was weird al
STOP making prequels to stuff esp horror movies. Not knowing how a thing started or why is the whole POINT
also stop using cgi on horror movies. Using practical effects to make your monsters and effects makes for interesting iconic monsters and scenes the last time cgi was impressive was jurassic park
movies think they can use cgi bc guillermo del toro made the fuck monster in shape of water with cgi. You are not Guillermo del toro tho