MafiaFell Fic - Saint x Reader
For most people, being stuck with the guy you're in love with would be a dream come true, like something from one of those frilly romance novels. For you, however, it was becoming an incredibly frustrating couple of hours. The two of you having to be locked in one of the Family’s safehouses was not part of the initial plan.
Worst of all, it was one of the smaller ones, with a kitchenette and bedroom crammed into one room. There was a small bathroom as well, but neither of you were going to be comfortable sitting in there for an extended period of time. Which meant he was leaning against the wall on the other side of the room, not looking at you. It was driving you crazy.
He was driving you crazy and he had been for weeks now.
Saint was, by all means, not a stupid man. The skeleton monster was quite smart, which made you wonder if he’d realized how you felt about him. You’d been working for the Family for nearly a year now and most of that had been alongside Saint. He’d been the one to train you, even. Falling for him had never been part of the plan, but after you’d started to peek behind the curtains and see what he was really like…
Well, you liked what you saw of him. Under the stoic and quiet demeanor, he was a lot sweeter than anyone would give him credit for. He cared deeply for the others in the Family and every time one of the men under his command was injured, he took it personally. It had taken nearly half a year before he’d opened up, but once he had it was easy to keep moving his walls out of the way.
You didn’t know it, but that’s exactly why he was avoiding you. He’d never let his walls down like this before and it scared the hell out of him, to care about you the way that he did. Saint knew how harsh this life could be, the toll it took on a person’s soul. He didn’t want that for you, because you were a good person underneath it all, and he knew you deserved better than the life of a thug.
So Saint tried to put a little distance in between himself and you, because falling for you wasn’t something he could allow himself. You deserved better than he could give you, especially because if anyone found out how he felt…
They could use you against him and he didn’t know that he could keep himself from doing something stupid if that happened. No, this was easier. He could make you hate him, it was something he was used to with everyone else, and eventually, he’d get used to it with you.
He could bear the pain if it meant you were safe.
Meanwhile, you’re sitting across the room and wondering if you did something to make him angry. Just a few weeks ago everything had been fine, but then one day, Saint just started to pull away. It wasn’t all at once or dramatic, but it was noticeable to you. For the first week, you’d hoped it was just that he was stressed about something else, but it kept going and there was more distance between the two of you.
Stars, before all of this you hadn’t realized you could miss someone who was in the same room as you.
You look over at him again, managing to catch Saint when he’s looked over to check on you. He quickly looks away and you decide that you’ve had enough of that.
“Why are you avoiding me?” You asked him, wrapping your arms around yourself, “Three weeks, Saint. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”
There’s a moment of silence before he sighs, “I’m not avoiding you. I am simply putting a boundary between us, one that should have stayed in place.”
You flinch a little at that, the words alone hurt, but the tired way he says it only makes it feel worse.
“Well, I’m sorry that my company is suddenly an issue for you.” You snapped at him, turning to face the wall instead, “You're such an ass…”
Saint growled under his breath, more angry at himself than at you, “Oh please, I’ve been nice about this.”
Something in you finally crumbled and you turned around, marching across the room to jab your finger into his chest.
“No, you haven’t been! You’ve been quiet about it, which makes it seem nicer than if you were being an outright jerk.” You chided him, brow furrowed as you continue to jam your finger against his sternum, “But nothing about pushing me away suddenly and without explanation is fucking nice!”
He couldn’t meet your gaze, his eyes looking down at the floor instead, which only made your frustration greater. You cared about him, so much more than you’d ever expected to and he couldn’t at least tell you that he didn’t care about you.
“So yeah, you have been avoiding me.” You added, letting your hand fall to your side, “And I still don’t understand why.”
Saint growled again, hands balling into fists as he struggled with the emotions that were welling up inside him. It felt like his ribcage would explode if he didn’t let them out, but he was scared.
Scared of rejection. Scared of losing you.
You were about to tear into him again when he finally looked up and you snapped your mouth shut. Your heartbeat felt so loud in the split second before he opened his mouth to speak, you felt like it would pop out of your chest.
“You’re right.” Saint said quietly, still not quite able to look you in the eyes, “I have been avoiding you, but not because… it’s not anything you did. I promise.”
You blinked and let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, “Then tell me why. Explain it to me, because I don’t want to sit here thinking you hate me. I can’t bear it…”
Stars, you were going to be the death of him, he knew that much. He didn’t mind it though, not if it was you.
“It’s because I’m pretty sure that I’ve fallen for you and that terrifies me.” He admitted, cheekbones turning red, “I’ve never cared for someone like this and I’m scared of what that means.”
It felt like everything stopped for you in that moment and then you were reaching out for him, cradling his face in both of your hands. His eye sockets went wide with surprise before he made a soft noise and leaned into your touch.
“You’re an idiot.” You told him fondly, pulling him closer so you could press your foreheads together, “Or maybe I’m an idiot, too. Getting so close to someone I work with.”
Saint was quiet for a moment and then he laughed softly, reaching up to hold your face as well. He smiled at you and it made your heart skip a beat, he looked softer when he was like this. You had missed that over the last few weeks.
“I don’t think you’re an idiot.” He said, rubbing his thumb over your cheek, “And I think… that if we do this together, maybe it won’t be so scary.”
You laughed a little at that, “Yeah, things tend to be less scary when you’re doing them with someone else. Especially if you care about them.”
The two of you stood there for a few more moments before he cleared his throat, giving you another soft smile.
“We should really get some rest.” Saint said, caressing your cheek one more time before letting go, “I’ll make something to eat afterwards and check back in with my brother to see if we’re good to move from here.”
You nodded, a little sad at the loss of his touch, “Right, we’ve only been here to hide from people looking to kill us.”
He snorted and you chuckled a little, because the situation itself wasn’t funny, but hey, all you could do was make the best of it. Besides, you’d finally gotten to talk to him because of it and that was better than you could have expected. You could rest easier knowing that he didn’t hate you and the rest you could sort out properly later.
