Cock Yogurt

I don’t remember where that title came from Was synapsespork Twitter: leshynade Tiktok: moist_teeth

[ovary-harvester]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27163501

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I decided to finally reveal the testament to my madness

[vren-diagram]

[outofcontextdiscord]

[sanguine-squid]

where is any higher quality version of this image

[satellites-halo]

can't find anything other than this which has maybe 5 extra pixels

[sergal]

[solitairie]

now dance fucker dance man he never had a chance

[rodent-detector]

I will forever reblog this post to add his little friend. This is a fucking rat rave!

[rodent-detector]

Let's get this rat rave fucking bumping!!!

[ishimarukiyotaka]

literally the worst way of ending a series is “all the survivors are happily straight married with tons and tons of babies!” 

[ishimarukiyotaka]

people still getting mad at this post i made in 2014 so I will add here. in 2026. that the point of this post isn’t “happy endings bad” its when the story’s only way to imagine a happy ending is a heterosexual nuclear family for everyone.

[roaldamundsen]

I hate autoplay what do you mean I've been listening to god in my sleep

[roaldamundsen]

you died and went to heaven

[prokopetz]

Disco Elysium is so effective at putting you in the shoes of a mentally ill heart attack survivor who is currently experiencing withdrawal from Every Drug that when you level up and gain the ability to do something most people can do as a matter of course it legitimately feels game-breaking.

[killersandqueens]

Would being called big dog fix me? Who knows?

[boydykedevo]

Mixed reviews

[hobgoblinhero]

"What's up, big dog; I'm ratsmacker" is going to live rent free in my head for a little while

[hobgoblinhero]

Boys who up smacking they rat?

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[atomic-crusader]

oh

oh i dont like that

[cipheramnesia]

Whatever, I could take the frosty folds of the abominable snowman.

[cipheramnesia]

I'll go down on the yonic yeti canyon.

[cipheramnesia]

She can blizzard on my glizzard any day.

[cipheramnesia]

Tomorrow's a snow day and brother I'm breaking out the Flexible Flyer.

[cipheramnesia]

We're about to get indecent at Dyatlov Pass.

[cipheramnesia]

Call me the McFlurry machine the way I break it down inside her.

[cipheramnesia]

You can hang us upside down but nothing can get me off my dairy queen.

[cipheramnesia]

She's my storm warning the way we're preppin for six to eight inches overnight.

[cipheramnesia]

Yeah baby doll I'm one snow blower that has a lifetime guarantee. You can call me Mister Plow, I'll allow it.

[cipheramnesia]

Or call me Scrat with how I'm hiding my nuts in your ice age, it's all good. Just lemme put a little dulce de leche on your shaved ice okay?

[cipheramnesia]

I did all this work and nothin to snow for it

[lunafoxdoll]

Hey are... are you okay?

[official-penis-posts]

​really puts the squat in Sasquatch

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

okay but do snakes have 2 dicks, or do they just have (1) pronged/forked dick? i am receiving conflicting accounts; I need RELIABLE snake penis facts.

save me tumblr reptile enthusiasts save me

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

MOBIUS DICK?????

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[official-penis-posts]

Sadly putting away my dirty willy 

[pangur-and-grim]

I've mentioned this story on here before, but I still feel really bad about it. so in my writing class, this older woman was talking to me about a book she read. specifically about how disturbing she found a scene near the end, where a dragon/demon/thing has evil nasty sex with a lady. and I was like "that's disgusting, please tell me the title so that I can avoid it!"

and then a few classes later, someone asked me what I was reading. without thinking, I said "oh, it's [book title]" and FROM ACROSS THE ROOM the older woman twisted around to give me the surprised pikachu face. I felt so guilty.

[theunfortunate-author]

my daily affirmation as an author

[laurenbudoren]

Did I ever tell you guys that I made another one?

[sharper-and-bigger]

75% certain that "wherefore" means "why"

[laurenbudoren]

Yeah, and I used it as such.

[segamascott]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[persephoneinthegardens]

how it feels to explain house targaryen to anyone in my life

[twinkprison]

the tiktokification of tumblr needs to be stopped

[twinkprison]

we don’t censor words here stop acting like a fool, when you censor words and tags people who have that word filtered due to triggers will still see it