inherently worthless @over--it - Tumblr Blog

that fucking sucks

DID system mid 20s

prof DXs: DID, BPD, OCD

victim to a lot, survivor of all

psych ward frequent flyer

this blog is graphic and triggering

too much about her lately. too much about the past lately. i want to be normal i want to be happy but theres a specter always looking over my shoulder saying "youre fucked beyond belief, theres no hope"

potential pneumanitis and mold toxicity. potential UTI. potential stomach cancer. i wish i had the luxury to be a hypocondriac, unfortunately ive never been wrong about the body.

#take your pills #i wish i could be. unfortunately.#something on the horizon i fear...

i feel like were nearly there. were so close to understanding ourselves and our place and our inherent importance. the way ppl view us as special. but im worried if i do let myself fall into belief of exceptionality the psychosis will return

im already close to manic. im already sleeping and eating less and having a harder time with magical thinking.

were viewed as larger than life, were seen as loving and caring and beautiful and kind. we view ourselves as unstable volatile and a liar

the potential for stomach cancer is high, and i know that

and the symptoms are lining up as well

but it cant be. and it wont be.

sevaria

Tempest

#sleep it off #destruct

voiddy666

#sleep it off

dionysian-mystery

Sculpture by Lotta Blokker

#alone in the universe

its becoming impossible to not be suicidal despite having such good things happen and its becoming even MORE impossible to resist the self harm urges when all i want to do and all i can seem to think about is fucking slicing into myself horribly. i want to wreck everything and bleed out. things are getting really hard.

#im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry #i feel like shit. im hungry despite eating. i dont think my stomach is working properly #i want to cut myself so so so badly i want a fresh razor i miss them i miss then #im gonna cry i want to cut myself PLEASE