Overinvolved Mom

That's not you. Yeah, right. A mommy blog for that thinking, worried, annoying parent. By Jillian O'Connor

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Do this! No, do THAT! The ultimate guide to parenting healthy kids (parody)

Do this! No, do THAT! The ultimate guide to parenting healthy kids (parody)

Eat more fish! But make sure it’s not one of the five bad types or you’ll get brain failure.

Eat as many vegetables as you can for your baby! But make sure it’s not any form of sprout or pre-washed baby carrots, or you will get e. coli and die, or even suffer from suboptimal nutrition.

Eat more honey to fight allergies! But make sure it is produced within 20 yards of your house. Also, make sure it…

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The top ten reasons you suck as a mom

The top ten reasons you suck as a mom

You don’t own a hot glue gun.

You don’t make tiered, artisanal cakes that look like dragons or castles or the Millennium Falcon.

You don’t go to PTA meetings.

You don’t bake for bake sales.

You let your kids look at screens.

You’re always at work, so you don’t volunteer at school.

You’re not always at work, and you don’t volunteer at school.

You don’t garden and teach your children…

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'Pretty Woman' is an ugly movie and needs to die

She’s the one in charge, because she’s holding his tie. And she stole his heart! We mustn’t forget how powerful that move is.

I can’t believe there are articles popping up telling me to celebrate the 25th anniversary one of the biggest piece of sh%$ movies of the ’90s, “Pretty Woman.”

It’s a Cinderella story of a prostitute who finds value in herself because some sleazy businessman who needs to…

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Plaything of the damned

Every parent has that one toy in the house that they’d put a mob hit on.

For me, it’s called Alphabet Pal. And it’s purple. And chirpy. And a caterpillar. And vile.

For one, it tries to wake up the kids, even when we don’t know it’s on. And it’s been doing this for five years. Why do I let it live with me? I’m not really sure.

But every once in a while, it senses a human walking near it and…

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Too chicken to say what they really feed the poultry

Too chicken to say what they really feed the poultry

“Raised without antibiotics” is a nice label to see on a package of chicken.

As of yesterday, even McDonald’s is joining the pack and pledging to phase out the use of human antibiotics in chicken — gradually — over the next two years. Yes, they won’t use any more HUMAN antibiotics . So that really tells us nothing of the other antibiotics, for OTHER ANIMALS, that they might see fit to continue to…

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Hello, tooth fetishist! Please sneak into my child's room tonight

It’s Throwback Thursday. This is a post from 2011 from The Two Boys Club (http://twoboysclub.com). This lady makes no more sense to me today than she did back then.

I almost blew the whole tooth fairy thing already, and The Elder is a few years away from even getting a loose tooth.

“Mommy, is the tooth fairy REAL?” “Um, yeah — um, so, uh …. well, why do you ask?” “You said fairies aren’t real!” “O…

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Bloggers give each other cool prizes!

I’ve won something!

This hasn’t happened since I got a call to pick up twenty-four overspiced frozen burgers five years ago.

The idea behind the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award is to recognize the unique voices of women bloggers around the world.

I’ve been nominated by another Jillian, who’s also in the Pacific Northwest. She writes a quirky, fun blog called How to Be Myself (http://howtob…

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Are smartphones a dumb move for grade-schoolers?

My 8-year-old thinks he should have a smartphone so he can play Minecraft whenever he wants. I think that he shouldn’t have a smartphone because then he will play Minecraft whenever he wants.

Back in my day, a kid that age would call his friends on tin can “phones” attached by a string. (OK, maybe that wasn’t my day, but I sure did see that on reruns from the ’60s a lot.)

And back in my day, it…

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If you kill the sugar, you kill the party

Kids love class parties. They love the tiny mass-marketed Valentine’s Day cards that train them to be dutiful consumers (“You are a Super Friend, Valentine!”).

They love that they get to glue things up and cut things out when they would normally be struggling to pay attention to some grownup inexplicably talking about something at the front of the room.

And they love the food — the junkier the…

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Top 10 reasons why you maybe don’t want measles

Top 10 reasons why you maybe don’t want measles

Unsightly red spots.

Might get pesky brain inflammation.

Eyes could stop working.

You’ll look like a throwback to the mid-1960s.

Doctors younger than 70 won’t even know what you have.

Makes it easier to pick up ebola when that hits.

Anti-vax families will keep inviting you over for playdates (so they can inoculate the old-fashioned way — by catching it).

Probably have to stay home…

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So you need to use the booster AND the seat belt?

Most parents are good about getting their kids to stay in car booster seats at least until state laws tell them they can do otherwise. But there’s no accounting for HOW they put the children in those seats.

Or for the common sense of photographers and other professionals on the set of car rental company photo shoots.

It’s great that an ad campaign on Alamo car rental buses is letting us know that…

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No shots, no school: It's that simple

No shots, no school: It's that simple #measles #vaccination #parenting

Measles are back. And I blame Sherwood Schwartz.

Back in the ‘70s and ‘80s, “The Brady Bunch” was the rerun show to park your kid in front of while you made dinner. And from that Schwartz-produced show, we have today’s measles mini-epidemic.

For today’s parents, those six kids made measles look fun. A lark. A reason to act really bratty and ring dinner bells as your parents and the family maid…

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Parents' bully phobia might build better victims

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The real reason kids' pajamas are made ridiculously tight

From the archives:

Every parent learns that you have to buy kids’ cotton pajamas two sizes too big. We’re not supposed to, according to the yellow hang tags from an unidentified authority, but that is how it’s done in reality.

Otherwise, kids look and feel like they’re wearing too-tight body stockings, and no one wants to sleep that way. (What if you get an itch? You’d then need to completely…

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Kid, get out of my hair

No, you may not yank out clumps of my hair:

Raising kids can be a scary business.

The latest manifestation of this, for me, has lately come in the form of hair pulling. Hard hair pulling, at close range, with an adorable, smiling two-year-old cackling, breathing directly into my face, chanting: “Let go! Let go! Let go!”

Forget “What to Expect.” This is some “Sopranos” shit. Who knew a toddler could be such a chilling assassin? And when did…

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Parenthood: It's a dirty job

Today’s post is a flashback to March 2011, when I couldn’t go more than a foot without a child emitting fluid in my direction. Previously posted on The Two Boys Club (http://twoboysclub.com).

This morning, without even getting permission, I found myself spot-cleaning my husband’s sweater. While he was wearing it.

Hey, it had a splotch on it, possibly from a small child’s orifice. What can I say?…

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The Grantham menace: I can't quit you, 'Downton Abbey'

Does Julian Fellowes use his cell or his landline when he phones in “Downton Abbey” each week?

Last night’s episode on PBS was markedly better than the season premiere, as I didn’t find myself coming up with ideas for new drinking games to get me through the experience.  (more…)

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