Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just:
Here's a funny little joke
Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later
Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept
Here's a unique and well written simile
Here's a lil guy
Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day
Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day
Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying
Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned
Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way
Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way
Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid
Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!
Honestly, Rick Rolling is the best practical joke ever. Like, there’s nothing offensive or mean spirited about it. It’s just like “Oops you thought there would be something else here but it’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’.” which isn’t even a bad song. It’s fairly enjoyable to listen to. There’s no jumpscares, no screaming, no ill will. Just Rick Astley telling you he’s never going to give you up. I think that’s great. “You fell into my trap! Here, listen to this completely benign song that will have no negative effect on you.”
I fucking HATE how this has almost one million notes and ive NEVER seen this. I have missed out on life. This was the best study break video I have ever seen. I’m dying. I most def sharted.
I needed to warm up, so I did not plan, just wrote this, and I'm about to hit post without editing or rereading. This is Steve&Eddie more than its a slash
----------
It was a week after the rumors made the rounds about Harrington and Hargrove getting into a fight. Eddie would normally assume it was nothing but posting jock bullshit, and ignore it the same way he ignored what he overheard about cheerleaders hooking up with other cheerleader's boyfriends. Except a couple days after the rumors hit a peak, Harrington showed up at school looking like someone beat his face in with a plate.
That made a pretty strong argument for the rumors being true.
The guy avoided his old crowd, and despite his ex and her new boyfriend - if that rumor is true, there was some overlap - trying to include him, he kept away from everyone for the first two days.
Eddie put him out of mind, one less asshole to cause trouble, one less shithead to dodge. Not his problem. Until he found Harrington sitting at his table in the woods the next week. It made sense, sort of. The guy was obviously having a shit time, and like most of the locals that kept Eddie's business afloat, he was looking for a distraction.
Eddie was right, and Harrington bought some weed before asking about getting anything stronger.
"I don't know man, I just wanna like, not be in my body for a while."
"Fair enough, but I don't keep that on me.
Harrington showed up when told to, and bought enough shit that Eddie hesitated before handing it over. He gave the guy a whole speech about not overdosing and ruining Eddie's upstanding reputation. Whether he listened or not wasn't something he could control.
So, the next Monday, when Harrington chased him down, and, as best as Eddie could tell, tried to become his friend, Eddie's first thought was that it was a ploy to get his next massive purchase of drugs on discount.
But Harrington didn't buy again except for a bit of weed. He did stick around. Outright said he wanted to be Eddie's friend. Kept at it through January until Eddie, confused as shit, admitted that yeah, they were friends. Mostly friends at least. There was stuff that Steve wouldn't talk about; his headaches, his nightmares, his tendency to freak the fuck out if the electricity got weird. Maybe it was better to say that Steve was his study partner who he sometimes hung out with. Cause that was the thing, Steve was pushy about Eddie studying.
"You really want to come back for a third run at graduating, man? Fuck that. 85 is gonna be your year, even if I have to bribe the teachers to pull it off"
"Why do you even care Steve? Maybe I want to become a legend of terrible scholarship in this crap town."
Steve never gave a real answer about it, just kept pushing him, hounding him about his homework, and showing up at his trailer every morning to drag Eddie out of bed if he had to. Wayne thought the whole thing was incredible and gave the guy a spare key. Traitor.
They got closer. Eddie finally met the kids Steve babysat. They immediately decided that Eddie was much cooler than Steve, and ragged on him constantly about it. They were close. They were. Fell asleep at each other's places. Spent half their time together.
Close, but not close enough for Eddie to get answers about why the fuck Steve had bruises and burns and scrapes sometimes. Bad ones. No matter how many times he said it, Steve didn't get those because he got distracted while cooking. It drove Eddie crazy sometimes. That was a lie. It drove him crazy all the time. Steve would tell him about how shit his parents were, but wouldn't admit why the fuck he needed stitches at the top of May.
"You did it."
"I think you'll find that you're the one that did it, Steve, I was an unwilling kidnapping victim in your quest to get us both across that stage."
It wasn't graceful, literally or figuratively, but Eddie got his diploma in 1985. Steve gave him what he said was a small part of his grad present from his parents. A thousand dollars. A thousand goddamn dollars. It was enough that Eddie didn't put the dots together right away. A small part, plus Steve's crappy job at the newly opened mall.
It was weird. But Eddie let it go, because Steve was his friend, maybe could have been best friends if the guy would stop pulling back whenever they got too close. He let it go, and he let Steve push him towards the goal of getting the fuck out of that town, and he promised he'd call when he got to Chicago.
It didn't really click for Eddie until he heard about the mall burning down from Wayne, that Steve never promised that he'd call too. The guy was there, and when Eddie called and demanded to know if he was okay, got another partial answer, another dodge, another thing for the list of shit his friend wouldn't talk about.
They fought about it. Loud enough as Eddie shouted into the phone that his neighbor banged on the wall. Maybe Eddie crossed a line. Maybe he crossed it a long while back. He didn't know. Eddie kept calling until September, but on the rare times that Steve answered, it was awkward and curt and terrible. He stopped trying when Wayne told him that Steve never stopped by, or even waved when they crossed paths.
Steve wanted it over, and it was so fucking weird. The guy slammed into Eddie's life out of nowhere, shifted it, changed the course, cause there was no way in hell Eddie would have graduated if it wasn't for Steve forcing him to try. The guy did all that, and nine months later, was gone again. Out of his life.
It was a week after new rumors reached him in February of 86 that a package arrived. His uncle called outside their normal plans, and said it wasn't sure yet, that there wasn't any proof, but Steve was missing, and some of those kids of his said he'd saved their lives. Said that he wasn't going to come back. Wayne didn't really understand what it meant, but passed on a message from those kids that they'd answer when he called.
Eddie got a box a week after finding out that Steve was gone, full of letters. Long, detailed, apologetic letters. The first was dated in December of 84, written after Steve spent a weekend 'out of his body' just like he wanted to be. The promises at the start didn't make sense. Steve said he'd save him. Steve said he'd make sure he got out. The apologies got more complex. Something about keeping Eddie away from friends he'd never make. About being selfish. About keeping secrets and lying when all he really wanted was to tell Eddie everything.
It was so fucking weird.
The last one was dated a couple days before things went bad in Hawkins, longer than all of the others. Monsters and nightmares and death and chance to make it right. Apologies for not doing it better, doing it sooner. For not wanting to risk it, for pushing Eddie away. Promises that Steve would call him as soon as it was over, that he was only writing this just in case. That it wouldn't ever be sent, and he'd burn the whole box after they won. Then he'd drive up and apologize in person, explain it in person, fix it, because Eddie meant more to him that Steve had ever let show, and he wanted to make it right.
At the bottom was a post script.
"Eds, If it doesn't work out, call this number, and ask for Robin. She knows the whole thing. She'll help. So will the kids. I hope you never read this. So I'm sorry if you are."
Steve didn’t come back right after Eddie died during Spring Break of 86. He came back from August of 86. After months of the Upside Down creeping in at the edges, and months of small crises where they fought off packs of dogs (they lost Lucas) and swarms of bats (they lost Joyce), and months of tendrils that tried to drag people through the rifts (they lost Claudia). Months where it seemed like the Upside Down was attacking all of Hawkins, but knew who to target first. Like Vecna knew how to hurt them best. Like there was strategy and planning and a story being told to them in blood and death.
After long weeks of Steve suffering nightmares about claws and wings, where everyone he failed came back to taunt him. Weeks of dreams where Barb would talk to him, just like herself, friendly and joking. Billy too. Heather. Bob. The worst was when he started dreaming of Eddie. Everyone he saw in those dreams turned to hatred and died in front of him eventually, but Eddie talked like they were friends, like the could have - should have - been more, and Steve wasted it. The turn in the nightmares with Eddie were worse too. He didn’t die. He turned into a monster, and Steve had to watch as the kids didn’t fight back fast enough.
August, and the final fight, and he knows now that they won, Steve knows they won, because Robin told him that as he bled out. Just like he knows that Eddie didn’t die before. Like he knows that the most vicious, painful wounds the party took came from the memories Vecna stole from Eddie, and were delivered by the puppeted body wearing Eddie’s face.
And Steve knows that he kept the rest of the kids safe, and he knows he killed that thing with Eddie’s face, and he knows that Eddie didn’t deserve what happened.
That’s when he closed his eyes despite Robin’s screaming, and when he opened them, it was 84 again.
agnes is my baby girl my shining star she can do no wrong yeah she’s a little homophobic and slut shames her sisters gf but that’s just everyone else’s problem
Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!
Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.
Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!
Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks
Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!
Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row
romaincrisis
germansingergirl
kianamaiart
dededos
areudirty
annaxmalina
ellievsbear
